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Spanking Teenage Boys

I have a son whom I spanked until age 15, although rarely. Today at 24 he is well adjusted and a happy person. What are others' opinion on spanking teenage boys?

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 ---John on 6/3/12
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Gordon 2: I am not suggesting for parents to whip their kids at all, just agreeing with your answer and why. I never whipped my kids, I never spanked them either. I had a good enough voice to mean power. I also use phycology to make them believe that a worse punishment would come if they did the same mistake again. It never came to that. Though my children were not perfect in any way, I was blessed that none of them did drugs, or ever disrespectful to my wife or to me. Some times there needs to be some form of punishment, but with control. It all depends on the child's actions, but true love chastens.
---Mark_V. on 11/21/12


Gordon, I agree with your answers. Here is why. We are told in Scripture in Hebrew 12:5,6)
"My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him, For who the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives." We are told that God scourges those He loves. If you go to (Matt. 10:17) you find that word "scourge" again.
"But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and "scourge" you in their synagogues"
The word "scourge" refers to flogging with a whip, a severe and painful form of beating that was common Jewish practice.
Hebrews 12:7) talks about father chastening sons.
---Mark_V. on 11/20/12


I agree with the "pants down" for teenagers , But I think it should be over the briefs (underpants) ! The boy being disciplined should be ordered to : "Drop your pants' & bend over the table so I can spank you ! 2 to 3 moderate swats should be enough to get a behavior modification !
---Maria on 11/19/12


If spanking did not work when the boy was younger it is not likely to work at age 15. It will, however, bring about resentment in most boys that age.

If your son is now exactly how you hoped he'd turn out I am happy for you but I think you might find that your method did not work out well for others who tried it.

Also, a 15 year old might be allowed to report his father to the police for such treatment. That would certainly be the case in the U.K.
---Rita_H on 11/13/12


In the 60's my brothers and i got paddled on the bare butt for something serious and while it hurt--we never questioned it--It became less frequent as we got older but it still happened--We turned out fine--I just did not like paddling my boys so i quit earlier and they turned out fine--I think its the relationship a parent has with sons that counts if the relationship is good even a paddling won't hurt the basic dad/son relationship--just my experience
---Jeff on 11/12/12




"Spare the rod spoil the child"...It is also written: Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger [Eph. 6:4]. Provoke means: do not irritate, exasperate, rub the wrong way, incite. This is done BY A WRONG SPIRIT and BY WRONG METHODS. Shame on you parents who don't treat your children, like Jesus does...There are many more Scriptures, a bunch of them, God tells you how He wants you to treat children and people.
---pat on 11/11/12


"Spare.......Spoil......." kids & TEENS need to be disciplined . I'm not saying to spank for every little thing, But kids need to know the consequences !!! & when they step out of line its : Swoosh "Pants Down, Bottoms up" for a good spankin' Good Luck on your parenting !
---Miss on 11/9/12


Well it's not uncommon to see psycho parents beat their children for the hell of it... I am not one of those parents. but I can assure you that s night follows day, The children I know where their parents never spanked them think it strange when their children act up and have not got a clue how to manage them, so many of the children manage the parents. No so in my home, I manage my children and they seem to manage their manners.
---Carla on 10/9/12


Hello,this is ELENA, got to think, remember yes,my mother lord laid me out on the floor,she got. me real good with the broom,and. I got a real. Well mannered no more get in trouble, no more talking back and that was the end of that,until I got permission to get married. I was about 14 years old. I Think she did pretty good, I graduated full honors from school. She only did it one time.
---ELENA on 10/7/12


Gordon I originally responded to Trey's post who stated he got a beating not a spanking. adults wearing out teenagers in process of beating them would have also worn themselves out.

nothing from scripture tells of Lord striking someone or teaching beating defenseless children. When you spank a young child you snap them out of a behavior with quick, swift correction typically because they are not old enough to reason and cannot pull themselves out from their wrong. If you believe giving a teenager a few swats is productive punishment (treating them like a toddler with a spanking) then I must ask for what purpose? seriously a few spankings on a teenager? still makes a parent negligent and a parent ignoring Gods warning in Ephesians.
---Follower_of_Christ on 10/7/12




Follower_of_Christ, YOU ARE SO TWISTING IT ALL UP. There is a big difference between "spanking" a child or teenager and "BEATING" a child. If the parent is already the type of person who is so emotionally messed up themselves, where they go further than spanking and end up abusing and beating on their child, then, YES, that's obviously very wrong! But, that's a whole different matter, Follower, than merely "spanking" a child. To the average parent who loves their child and has their head properly on their shoulders, spanking their child is simply one form of discipline. One does not have to lead to the other!
---Gordon on 10/7/12


if children are corrected in childhood, when they are teens they shouldn't need it. I have some teen friends and they are so well mannered all the time. one of the teens is 15 and won an award for being an example to other teens.and...she can sing too
---shira4368 on 10/5/12


Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Deuteronomy 6:6,7 Proverbs 22:6 for teaching children when they are young, quick swift punishments of spankings. resort to beating a teenager (soon to be young adult) you failed your role as a parent in their earlier years, you cannot beat them now for your negligence otherwise you provoke them to wrath. Why we see more bullying in school today.. parents using any excuse to physically abuse their teenagers by lie of discipline. When you have to beat an older child it requires far more effort than a small child and it requires an angry bitter adult who should be put away in jail for assault and battery.
---Follower_of_Christ on 10/4/12


Why do people assume that "the rod" necessarily implies physical punishment? Kings traditionally wielded a rod and a staff. The rod to discipline, and the staff to nurture (as a shepherd does). How many kings do you know that enforced discipline by physically beating people? They usually had many different (and more effective) ways, depending on who was being disciplined.

While young children who are incapable of understanding spoken instructions (or of knowing the consequences of their actions) may occasionally require physical discipline, older children, and especially teenagers, can be much more effectively disciplined by other means, such as withholding of privileges.
---StrongAxe on 10/4/12


Cluny, Do you want a Bible Verse to back up what I'm saying? PROVERBS 13:24 "He that SPARETH HIS ROD HATETH HIS SON: He that loveth him (his child) chasteneth him betimes." Cluny, aren't you British? You know proper English? That Verse means that If a father loves his son (any child of his) he will discipline and chasten him when necessary. He will chasten his child when he does wrong, because he LOVES HIM. And, he wants his child to learn to do what is right, in order to live long and prosper. And, the rod is the KJV word for an instrument of disciplining. If you think that's "bad", well, GOD is even more so. That's why Hell and the Lake of Fire were created.
---Gordon on 10/4/12


Gordon, spanking a teen IS physical abuse.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 10/4/12


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Follower_of_Christ, You did not read and fully comprehend my comment. I made the distinction between spanking and physically abusing a teen. And, I also said that spanking may not be suitable for ALL teens. Just for certain ones. And, if it works, IT WORKS! A parent must be mature and not let their emotions dictate their decisions, like what you are doing here. John just got done telling us, above, that he'd spanked his teen-age boy and he turned out GREAT. Please, read all of a person's comments and understand it before you respond, or, expect a rebuke otherwise.
---Gordon on 10/4/12


Teenagers are still under parental authority and they need to be taught proper boundries to be prepared for the REAL WORLD

teenagers have reasoning skills understanding right from wrong, believing beating them until you are worn out is preparing them for the "real world" you are doing it to satisfy your own personal anger issues and release aggression within yourself, because that is not discipline Nothing from holy scripture supports this sickness which is why we have laws to help children who are being physically attacked by their unloving parents because they can and should report them for assault and battery. teenagers may be under parents authority however they are not farm animals to be beaten on a whim.
---Follower_of_Christ on 10/4/12


The Bible warns that If we spare the rod we will spoil the child. There definitely is a place for spanking. Some, today, falsely accuse that of being "child abuse", but, that's Satan's rhetoric. God the Father chastens those He loves, so should Earthly fathers (and mothers). As for teen-age boys being spanked? Good idea, really, for SOME. Some others may not need that kind of discipline. Just as long as it works GO FOR IT! :-) Discipline must be meted out. Teenagers are still under parental authority and they need to be taught proper boundries to be prepared for the REAL WORLD. It's a jungle out there!
---Gordon on 10/3/12


Follower of Christ, I absolutley agree with that comment, 100%.
---Jed on 10/3/12


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Cluny, when I was 16 my Dad took a belt and wore me out.


any parent wearing themselves out in the process of beating their child using excuse of discipline should be put in jail for assault and battery. try taking a belt to a stranger doing same thing you did to your own child you would be doing hard time (years depending on the state) for aggravated assault and battery. This is why the cycle of violence in children is getting worse. They are bullied at home by parents who are violent and physically aggressive then go to school and bully their peers out of fear anger frustration and a learned pattern physically attacking others. The Lord Jesus never beat anyone.
---Follower_of_Christ on 10/3/12


When I am gonna be afraid to clap my kids when they have gone too far, like shout, screaming, fighting, or other, first I'm going to call in social services and ask them to kindly take me away coz I'm gonna slap their backsides. I ain't callin in no social services I'm clapping their hides and callin time on their activities.


The sexual pleasures GOD FORBID are all yours Clunny... strange soul
---Carla on 10/2/12


Cluny, when I was 16 my Dad took a belt and wore me out. I can promise you my Dad was a working man and could have beat me senseless if he would have had a mind to do so. I can also assure you that there wasn't anything erotic about it. It was a good old fashion beating. I am 45 now, and I am glad my Dad cared enough to give me a good spanking with a belt. I deserved it.

Glory to God who gave me a Dad that cared.
---trey on 8/7/12


However, I agree with not having to spank as it were a teenage lad who would want to do that? if by this stage you need to raise your hand you probably failed his butt when he was younger...
---Carla on 8/6/12


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Cluny ???// Go see a psychiatrist, what on Gods green earth has Sexual Stimulation got to do with a parent correcting their child.//



God help your troubled Sick mind...
---Carla on 8/6/12


If you wait till their teens before you spank them you are in trouble. I heard a psychologist say one time that parents need to get control of their children by the time they are five. If their over the age of five and they are out of control you're in a bad situation.
Here is some scripture:

Prov23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Pr23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Pr29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
---trey on 8/3/12


"Spare the rod and spoil the child..." -Judy on 08/03

You do know that line is not actually in the Bible right?
---Jed on 8/3/12

it is a reasonable facsimile of several verses. anyway, she did not necessarily say it was in the bible. not every truth has to be in the bible. 2 + 2 = 4, and i cannot find that in the bible.
---aka on 8/4/12


"Spare the rod and spoil the child..." -Judy on 08/03

You do know that line is not actually in the Bible right?
---Jed on 8/3/12


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I suppose that every teenage boy would be different and it would depend on the character and temperament of each boy. Also, it depends on what the violation or "crime" was. But, from the top of my head, it seems to be too juvenile of a punishment for a teenager. I know there are times when a good whacking on the bottom would seem to be the suitable remedy, 'specially if the teenager's actions were immature and fool-hearty. There is a place for spanking, the Bible assures of that. But, for a teen-age boy? It depends on the boy, I think. Most of the times, NO. Once-in-a-great-while, perhaps.
---Gordon on 8/3/12


Right on!!! "Spare the rod and spoil the child..." I think it is done more when they are younger and only if other methods prove ineffective. hopefully as a teenager u would not need to resort to it but corporal punishment done correctly as discipline is acceptable and scriptural.
---judy on 8/3/12


John, you're lucky he didn't spank you back. Most 15 year old boys could drop a middle-aged man in a heart beat.
---Jed on 8/2/12


If you want to alienate your adolescent male, spanking will accomplish that for you.

Loss of privilege is your strongest weapon of choice.....
---Chip on 8/2/12


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Barbara: GREAT answer! Bless you...your children are lucky.
---Marie on 6/10/12


I believe spanking(limited) should be done in a child's formative years especially before ages 8-10. If the focus of the child has been well directed before 8-10yrs, spanking will not be necessary at the teenage years but advices/instructions.
---Adetunji on 6/6/12


How sad that you think that it is all right to inflict physical pain on a child in order to teach him something. The idea of a parent is to restrict the danger to a child until he/she is old enough to see danger. It's also to correct him/her if they are going astray from what is right. To strike a child is not synonymous with disciplining one. Sometimes my child can cause me to speak harshly, even loudly, but to physically lash out and cause another pain, what craziness. It demonstrates a weakness in the parent, not a strength.
---Marc on 6/5/12


"What are others' opinion on spanking teenage boys?" My opinion? You are fortunate that he did not spank you back. "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it."Prov. 22:6 If one trains his child to respect The Father, His Word, his parents, his elders, and himself, early in life, there will be no need or reason to hit him when he becomes a young man. The fact that he did not hit you back shows that at least he has a respect for, or perhaps a fear of, you. Hopefully he will only implement the rod of correction as concerning his own children during their most impressionable years, when they are the most open to, and in need of that correction. See also Pro 22:15>29:15
---joseph on 6/5/12


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I have come to realize that a lot of the children today just want some one to listen to them and to know that there feelings matter so I think if we really just hear them out they mellow out and really began to tell you what they want rather than act it out in some bad unseemly way. even if I don't always agree with my child I do let him know I hear him and that the way he feels really do matter and I am listening and this is really all he wants to know is that he is being heard.
---barbara on 6/4/12


John, basically you are very lucky, if you lived in the North East USA you would likely in prison currently on willful child abuse and pedophile convictions and you son would have been in a foster home until he turned 18.
---Blogger9211 on 6/4/12


I'm not totally against spanking, but I believe it should be used sparingly, as a last resort. Other discipline methods should be used first. Spanking is one of the LEAST effective discipline methods at any age, but especially for older children since it is such a short term consequence. To spank a 15 year old boy probably did more hurt than good. Teenagers and adults learn from long term consequences. You should be preparing a 15 year old to be an adult, and as such you should treat them with respect and require that they do the same. Spanking does not teach self respect or respect for parents.
---Jed on 6/4/12


15 years old is a young man, not a boy. Spanking may be considered assault and battery today, and you're lucky you were not arrested and put into jail. The Golden Rule from God is, "Do and say exactly that what you desire done and said to you." Do you want spanked? No? Then don't spank. Do you want respect? Yes? Then give respect. Many adults today are victims of parental abuse, some have ran away from home and have cut all ties from the abusing parent and are dealing with the damage done to them by their parents. And some adults are going back and suiing their abusing parents in the courts for their assault and battery when they grew up, and to pay for their psychological and medical therapies which are a direct result of their abuse.
---Eloy on 6/4/12


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John...I am guessing that he no longer lives near you.
---KarenD on 6/3/12


As I have said before, spanking should not be done past 8, unless you want your children on the cusp of puberty to associate pain in that area with sexual stimulation--which is what it will do.

I don't know if you and your son still live together, but I would be hesitant to say that he is well adjusted.

Why did your son let you spank him so long? My mother came at me with a studded belt when I was 14 and I simply grabbed it to stop her.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/3/12


Spanking is for small children. Teenagers can be talked to and have privileges taken away from them. In today's technological society, there are a variety of things that could be taken from a teenager, as well as grounding, and making them stay away from the computer, except of schoolwork.

Most importantly, discussing the behavior and helping the teen come to the conclusion that the behavior is not in his best interest.
---Trish on 6/3/12


no opinion. if it worked for you...good.
---aka on 6/3/12


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