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Can Forgiving Hurt

In forgiving one person, does God ever hurt another?

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 ---Geraldine on 6/18/12
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However much we say we forgive, it is not that easy, and we must accept that in order that we may grow.

So, when we know that God has forgiven someone who has hurt us, if we are not strong enough in faith, it is likely that we will feel hurt.

And yet we must remember that forgiveness, even if we feel hurt, is what is good - even if emotionally we feel hurt, in knowledge we must remember that this is God's goodness
---Peter on 2/21/13

Geraldine, every time one sins against another, there is always consequences. Some times, they are small, sometimes they are very big. I believe that forgiving is to never mention it again. Many forgive and when another problem arises, they say, "Remember when you did this?" They bring back what was forgiven already. What I mean is what God said when He said, "I will remember them no more" they are in the past and taken care of already. Like our salvation. He forgives us.
---Mark_V. on 2/19/13


The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:10-32)

28 The older brother became angry and refused to celebrate. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, Look! All these years Ive been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!

31 My son, the father said, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again, he was lost and is found.'"
---bike on 2/17/13

Luke 10:40-42

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, Lord, dont you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!

Martha, Martha, the Lord answered, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are neededor indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.
---Born on 2/17/13

Moderator permit - thanks! For Trish,Almighty Lasting Father,Praying always with all prayer
and supplication in the Spirit, watching thereunto with all perserverance and supplecation for all saints. Eph.6,18. Lord see our sister here my voice oh, God. She needs your blessing, give her mind ease & help her to make full recovery! Let her mind Relax, Eat good meals.Put her mind at ease, Get adequate rest & I plead the cleansing blood over Trish, and all nearest to her heart.we know if you build it is NOT in vain. I trust in you! You've never let me down. I beg you precious Jesus honor this prayer. We honor and give you ALL the praise! Amen.
---ELENA on 2/16/13

Moderator permit- hello, Mary yes! Mary forgiveness, does make you feel like " clean" refresh & a new you know. Real. I know it got to hurt but, it will always be good if I can say to you the good memories out weigh the bad.I felt hurt, mortified my daughter's husband has taught her such evil, she threaten me but, I have to keep praying God will enlighten their pathway to salvation repent & come on ober to God' side.All things are possible withGod" thanks! Mary your kindness.hugs! ELENA
---ELENA on 12/10/12

Amen Elena! God bless you sister. :) Forgiveness can be painful but far less painful than refusing to forgive. Sometimes I still have to go back and forgive my brother's killer but I always feel better. Love and hugs, Mary
---Mary on 12/9/12

Beloved, be honest, got to say forgiveness is a Must if you say or cliam you love God. deep pain emotions in my heart for this time/ this city ..Detroit is full of God fearing people as well, you all hear the horror stories.. we need Honesty back in the officials offices, we need help! So much discouragement..we need prayer for this city! The churches need to put God AS Lord! before $ dollars! We need to love one another for real quit playing "religious!" Pray with me. Thankyou all.
---ELENA on 12/9/12

Sag, thanks, my experience on this came from my own life. My wife and I also counciled married couples on how to forgive each others, and leave the bad in the past. In Christ, everyday we are been change.
---Mark_V. on 6/26/12

Forgiveness is for our own soul. So that we can move forward.
---Mark_V. on 6/23/12

You've defined FORGIVENESS in as few words as possible. You get an A+ for your work!

Forgiving others -- no matter How, or How Badly, they have Hurt/Offended us -- is vital to our OWN health.

I once thought that Jesus was rather foolish in telling us -- in the Bible -- to:

Love Your Enemies
Forgive Those Who Have Hurt You
Pray For Your Enemies

Actually, Jesus knew exactly what he was saying. And it is all for OUR OWN good too. Spiritually, Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, etc.

Forgiveness is necessary EVERYWHERE: Churches, Families, and the Workplace.

---Sag on 6/24/12

Yes, relationships can be complex, this person is connected to that person, is connected to this person, is connected to that person...any friend of her's is a friend of mine...and if you don't like him then I don't either, even if I don't know him...why are you talking to her, when you know I don't like cetera, et cetera, et cetera...
---Eloy on 6/23/12

Sag, you are so right, Just because you forgive someone does not mean you have to trust them again. Forgiveness is for our own soul. So that we can move forward. I would have done the same thing you did. There is many other causes for God we can give to.
In your case, you said the church was her church. I believe you were right getting out of that Church. I do not believe a Christian Church should be headed by a woman. I know many will oppose me, but woman are not given the leadership. Man is. I also know many are just waiting for me to make a statement to jump on me, but I will stick my neck out and say that.
---Mark_V. on 6/23/12

I believe when someone hurts you real bad, and you forgive them, the subject should never come out again with her. If we bring it up, that shows we have not forgiven them.
---Mark_V. on 6/23/12

Here is my example:

A church that I used to attend treated me like [expletive]. The Pastor NEVER apologized or asked me to forgive her church.

Recently, I received a personal letter from the Pastor asking for MONEY. To be used for a foreign missions trip. I was reminded of my bad treatment by the Pastor's church and her letter quickly hit the waste basket.

I wouldn't say that I haven't forgiven the Pastor's church. Just that I don't trust that Pastor anymore. There is a difference between FORGIVENESS and TRUST!
---Sag on 6/23/12

anon, that is a sad story, and I believe things like that happen alot in life. I believe when someone hurts you real bad, and you forgive them, the subject should never come out again with her. If we bring it up, that shows we have not forgiven them.
My former wife hurt me real bad when she left me. In time I learned to forgive her. I promised never to bring it up to her ever again. And I never did. Many forgive and when things go bad later, they bring it up and never bury it. Forgiveness is hard many times it takes a while before we forgive, but if we don't, it hurts our walk with God.
Now I talk about it to others when I want to give my testimony and how God changed both of us.
---Mark_V. on 6/23/12

I had the same thing happen to me except I lent money to someone I worked with.
---anon on 6/22/12

Thanks for sharing your experience. It is good to know that I'm not the only one who has had problems with lending money to friends.

The Bible says that we should "Rejoice In All Things". Good and Bad. Bad experiences might be difficult, but they are the best way for us to learn things.

I'm now WISER and can say NO to others who ask to borrow money from me. No guilt when I advise them to contact their local bank. Sure, they get steaming mad, but that is THEIR problem, not mine!
---Sag on 6/23/12

Sag, I had the same thing happen to me except I lent money to someone I worked with.

Not only didn't she pay me back all of it, but she threw me under the bus and got me in trouble with my boss and it was all a lie.

I forgave her but the hurt that she caused me was still there, so I kept casting all of it upon the Lord for He careth for us....eventually the Lord healed the hurt she caused me.

Does this mean she won't suffer the consequences of her sin of throwing me under the bus with my boss and accusing me of something I didn't do? I believe someday someone will do the same to reap what you sow. She sowed lies, she will be lied to. Just like Jacob, he deceived his father and he got deceived by Laban.
---anon on 6/22/12

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Marilyn, sometimes we do hurt another person and don't realize we did, or how we did it. Sometimes we don't and they get something because someone told them something bad we said about that person. In your case, you should ask her. Take a moment while after church to ask her if you have done something wrong. I'm sure if you have, she will tell you, then you can ask for forgiveness and tell her you are very sorry. If she doesn't want to forgive you, then you will feel bad, but you can go on with your walk with Christ, because you went to her. Don't leave it like it is. It might be hurting her and you don't know it. I hope you and her get right with each other. peace I leave you.
---Mark_V. on 6/21/12

i was settng here reading about forgiveness i use to be friends with this girl at my church we use to talk all the time but for some odd reasin she ignors me all together she dont say hi or even smile at me im not sure if ive done any thing or said any thing for her not to like me mm what should i do how can iget her to talk with me again its been like 4 years going on like that we say to for givve yes we should for give them even tho we dont no what we did
---marilyn on 6/21/12

In reading what MarkV said, I took another look at what Scott said as well as what I wrote. I believe forgiveness is for BOTH the other person as well as the one in the position to forgive or not to forgive. Forgiveness is not EXCLUSIVELY for the person that hurt you. In that sense, I would agree with Scott. I agree Mark that unforgiveness will come out eventually and is destructive to the one holding onto it. However, love is concerned with the impact upon another as well as ourselves, and not to be underestimated. "Father forgive them for they know not what they do", spoken before any sought forgiveness, the heart of the Lord.
Also, Yes, it IS God who deals with the other person.
---chris9396 on 6/21/12

I have experienced the Pain involved in forgiving someone else.

In my case, it involved several individuals who borrowed money from me. This included people that I believed that I could TRUST to repay me: A Pastor, A Bible College Student, and Church Friends.

Well, in all cases, our friendship went sour. Yet, I still had the responsibility to forgive them. Completely and without any lingering Bitterness or Grudges. This was the EASY part.

The HARD, and PAINFULL, part was being told that my forgiving should also involve trusting them again. Hmmm. I don't agree there.

I've learned to NEVER again put myself in the risky job of being a money lender.

Instead, I tell them to visit their local bank. Sorry!
---Sag on 6/21/12

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Scott 1, I completely agree with you. When someone hurts us we should forgive. If we don't we hurt our walk with Christ. Sometimes the circumstance are really bad, and we know very painful, so in many cases we just move forward and put it in the past. But somewhere in time it will come out again. We need to ask God to help us forgive because He knows its hard for us to do it on our own. peace brother
---Mark_V. on 6/20/12

Scott1 on 6/20/12

"Forgiveness is one of satan's biggest lie. Here is his lie. Forgiveness is for the person who hurt you"
I disagree on the basis of Father forgive them for they know not what they do

However, I understand the rest of what you say and believe that unforgiveness destroys the person holding onto it. Forgiveness is maturing in love.
---chria9396 on 6/20/12

Forgiveness is one of satan's biggest lie. Here is his lie. Forgiveness is for the person who hurt you. For example, something bad happens to you by someone. They come up to you and ask for your forgiveness and you say no because you feel that they don't deserve your forgiveness. The one that hurt you will probably forget the matter soon after. Anger (unforgiveness) is you drinking poison so the other person will die/get sick/bad stuff/etc. Forgiveness is for you so that you can move on. Let God deal with the other person if they are unforgiven.
---Scott1 on 6/20/12

I don't know exactly what this question means.

Forgiveness, however, is like peeling an onion. You peel and peel and cry and cry--and then there's a new layer to start all over again.

Forgiveness does NOT come naturally to us. Otherwise, Jesus would never have commanded us to do so.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/18/12

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willie: Good point. There are many questions in the law and grace conflict. The law, both man's and God's requires confession for forgiveness. In the case you describe the woman might be unforgiving because the man has not asked to be forgiven. My understanding of scripture is that human beings are to forgive whether asked to or not. I also had in mind the parable of the Prodigal Son, who DID ask his father for forgiveness.
---Geraldine on 6/18/12

Hi Geraldine (c: in case I have some idea of what you mean > let's say a man hurts a woman, but then he becomes a Christian and forgiven, and even gets free of legal punishment because he says he now sees his wrong and shows he intends to do better. But she is still unforgiving, wants more revenge of jail for him. So, she feels hurt. God is not hurting her, in this case. Her own weakness of not loving makes her able to keep suffering and be bitter.
---willie_c: on 6/18/12

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