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Coping Skills For A Death

June 30,2012 my boyfriend was hit by a Durango truck and died at4:20am. I am hurt and heart broken. I had just talk to him the day before this happened. I would like to know what coping skills could I use to get through this moment of grief?

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 ---Parris on 7/2/12
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Phil, great answers you gave brother. That is the hope we as believers have.
---Mark_V. on 7/8/12


Jesus Christ will raise him up from death when He returns. Death is a repose, a sleep, it is temporary. If your friend was of the elect saints, he will be resurrected to meet the Lord in clouds to be with Him for the ages to come 1Th 4:17. You will once again be with him, as well as with all the Body of Christ, to serve God unhindered by death and corruption reigning in the heavens with Christ, and this is our expectation .1C 15:49 2C 3:18 Col 1:20
---Phil on 7/7/12


Parris, there really is no perfect thing you can do to cope with what you are going through. Everyone is different. When my wife died, I use to go to the cementary everyday after work. I missed her so much, so I went to visit her. While there I met many who would go everyday, some once a week. I saw a woman lying down on the ground one day and I was worried she was hurt. When I spoke to her, she got up and told me her daughter was buried there, and if it was wrong for her to do what she did, and I told her there is no right way for all. If it made her feel better to ly down, that was fine. There is many who never go, but it is many times because of the pain. The Lord will comfort you and time will take the pain away but not the memories.
---Mark_V. on 7/7/12


Parris,how tragic and heartbreaking. Cast all your cares upon Him, He is Comforter, Healer, Provider.
I watched a son for 2+ years agonize over the death of his best friend. Anger and bitterness towards the person held liable consumed him. Recently in court he spoke at the sentencing of that person, and there seems to be a softening of the heart that had such bitterness and blame, now is able to have compassion while recognizing and not excusing this persons responsibility. Without the Lord, my sons grief was multiplied and compounded with thoughts, feelings, and actions destructive to him and others close to him. God is ALWAYS the answer to our problems.
May He be your Comfort and strength in this difficult time.
---nmom on 7/4/12


Shira, my apologies, my response to you was incomplete and might seem confusing. I said "yes" to the portion stating its about the peace that passes understanding. In Him alone do we find that peace. Originally I intended to say more at that point. When one has had much grief and come to know the Comfort of God, they in turn can offer that comfort, and peace, to those in need.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, SO THAT we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also OUR COMFORT ABOUNDS THROUGH CHRIST. "
---chria9396 on 7/4/12




Shira, I am deeply sorry for the loss of a husband and a daughter AND the unkind words the person said to you--such a shame. Someone once told my mother when we lost our brother "at least you have 3 other kids", ugh people don't always mean to be unkind but they can.
---Mary on 7/3/12


shira: "It is about the peace that passeth all understanding. I lost my daughter and my husband."
Yes.
It is the Comfort with which we ourselves have been comforted that enables us to offer Comfort and Hope, keeping in mind that God is our Hope, our Comfort. God bless
---chris9396 on 7/3/12


parris, it isn't about coping skills. It is about the peace that passeth all understanding. I lost my daughter and my husband. I even had a lady at my church to ask me if I was happy about my husbands death. that sure cut thru the heart. I told her all my tears were used up when he was sick. Of course I miss him every single day even tho it has been 5 years.
---shira4368 on 7/3/12


The best thing you can do right now is cry, and cry and cry some more. Ask a good friend, or family member to sit with you a little each day, just so you can talk about him, and cry and be comforted. They don't have to talk to you, just ask them to listen to you.

It's okay to feel hurt and cry. Grief takes a long time.

Attend his services and ask a friend or family member to go with you. You don't have to go through this alone.

Please accept my condolences on your loss. I know how much it hurts to lose someone you are close to, who you loved and knew they loved you. It still hurts sometimes.
---Trish on 7/2/12


Queen Elizabeth of England once said something that echoes Mark Eaton's words. "Grief is the price we pay for love."

BTW, there is almost always some unresolved guilt at the death of a loved one: how we could or should have done something better, or the thing we should have said, or left unsaid.

Use this loss as practical lesson in how to be more loving to those still with you. That's how we grow.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 7/2/12




The best answer I could give you is to grieve now while it is time to grieve.

There is no "coping" with the pain. It is normal and natural and reflects the level of your relationship. The more it hurts, the closer you were to the person.

You do not want "cope" with the pain now and have this be an unresolved grief later. Most of the tragic addictions we see are linked to abuse or unresolved grief.

Don't fear the pain. If you mourn now it will get better over time and you will smile again when you think of him.
---Mark_Eaton on 7/2/12


the book of job especially Job 38 - 42. Grieve it is natural but God is still God and God is still good.
---Scott1 on 7/2/12


Dear soul, what you need is TIME!

You don't expect to get over it immediately and act as if nothing had happened, do you?

One thing: you are stronger than you think you are.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 7/2/12


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