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Friends With Parish Priest

I was close friends with my parish Priest, and even after he was transfered, I visited him several occassions, thinking our relationship was very real. However, he suddenly, and inexplicibly stopped being my friend. I'm so hurt and confused over this and can't seem to get over it. Any advice?

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 ---AnnieM on 7/24/12
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Anne, you do know he is a Priest and married to the Church right?

He might have been afraid you were taking the relationship more than just friendship.
That's how Priests, Man in general get in trouble. Would you be this friendly if he was married to woman? His Wife would put a stop to it as well.

The other reason is maybe he was having feelings for you and stopped the relationship before falling into sin.

Parish Priests can get lonely, and fall into sin with women.
Religious Priests have each other to help keep a holy eye on each other.

I know you might be hurt, but you should think about him if he is truly a friend.
Act like a friend and let him go to service God as God wants him to serve Him.
---Nikki on 6/18/13


I think we've to comment also about the Epistle of St. Paul from the Bible where it is asked to remain as he (Paul) himself was (as unmarried) and to get married rather than being burned by the sexual desired. So how can the teaching of celibacy become devil's doctrine? I don't understand. About the friendship with a priest, it's like a friendship with any other person, except the fact that he can be emotional at times, as he lives alone (as I've seen). I trust Catholic priests and they have been my light for more than 2 decades!
---varkey on 6/18/13


"Parish Priest"?? Here are the qualifications for true leaders! Titus 1:4-9 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God, not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre, But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate, Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.
---J_Marc on 11/15/12


God called>>> prophets, preachers, priests, must be careful who they befriend. Get over it. I believe this priest was showng good judgment. His primary concern should be the "living God". GOD MUST COME FIRST, in a world that's growing more hostle toward Him, everyday.
---pat on 11/14/12


Trish, wee have had those same issues here,Michigan. They move them,then after it gets worse,they get found it but also,here even in the so called strict protestent church.evil don't have too much bounderies. I know some cuban.men now,but they were young when they come be refugee and they told me such incident happen to them.
God.help children.
---ELENA on 10/6/12




Cluny: An European Catholic lady informed me that this practice of barring Catholic-Priest from marrying started at a time in their history, when the Church-head was also the political-head. And this was causing a lot of inheritance problems then.If this is true, situations are now different & a review needs to be done to solve some current problems too.
---Adetunji on 10/5/12


celibacy is not to blame for the priests who rape children

Trish I completely agree with you however, although priests are not reason we have sexual predators what I do believe is unnatural state of maintaining celibacy for religious reasons, the religious rites and lies associated with celibacy make men believe they live a pious untouchable life. many priests do not have strong sexual urges yet most are struggling with the unnatural suppression of their desires. I don't believe their tendency are toward children I think because they have unsupervised access to children and live in their religious bubble they use and know their power will protect them if they act on their urges and violate children.
---Follower_of_Christ on 10/5/12


Trish, wee have had those same issues here,Michigan. They move them,then after it gets worse,they get found it but also,here even in the so called strict protestent church.evil don't have too much bounderies. I know some cuban.men now,but they were young when they come be refugee and they told me such incident happen to them.
God.help children.
---ELENA on 10/4/12


Follower: While I totally disagree with any religion that requires any of their clergy to take a vow of celibacy, that celibacy is not to blame for the priests who rape children. Pedophilia is an evil unto itself. The reason there have been so many pedophiles in the priesthood is because it is a profession that gives the pedophiles easy access to children.

The reason so many priest/pedophiles have been in the news lately is because the Roman Catholic Church has been caught in covering up these crimes, and simply moving their pedophiles from one parish to another. In Philadelphia this has been a huge problem in the news in the past year.
---Trish on 10/4/12


Thankyou, my friend Follower of Christ,please know how your response put me at ease. I have often put him in the CNT prayer room,and believe it or not he gets well! Healed, for real.. many times he told me,he cannot.leave but, he very much troubled. I wanted to. Know what could have I done, for him to act. ...this way.we never have no disrespect, so,anyway I just ignore him,don't look.at him.may God help him. I pray he will be ok. May the lord bless you. Love agape,ELENA.
---ELENA on 10/4/12




You may have felt this was innocent friendship however if others within this religion witnessed this relationship they may have told him to discontinue his friendship with you. It is unnatural for any man or women to take a vow of celibacy and it is a doctrine of devils. false religion can invoke many strange feelings and moods and many priests find it difficult to keep a vow that suppresses natural urges, why many priests have molested children and have affairs. although priests preach they are perfect they are no different although their false teaching makes them think they are better than others, and here lies the problem with hollow friendships and apparently you were easily cast aside. peace be to you while you recover from your loss.
---Follower_of_Christ on 10/4/12


family,anyone can tell me,because no one in my family was never in the. Catholic religion , for starters since the priests are never ever to marry,my question.? when couples havd problems the priest is prepared or gives. like counseling, to married couples? Is this a regular responsinility for the priest??
---ELENA on 10/3/12


==HE recommended that a Priest should be the husband of 1 wife. Is God's prescription bad==

The idea is you make up your mind BEFORE you are ordained.

That's why in the Orthodox Church, the canonical age for ordination is THIRTY, and most bishops will not ordain a single man who is not a monk before the age of 40.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 10/3/12


Cluny: you are trying your best to twist our discussion to what you want. But thank God for His word, HE recommended that a Priest should be the husband of 1 wife. Is God's prescription bad and why should the Catholic Priest be exempted from marrying(by his denomination)?
---Adetunji on 10/2/12


FoC, spiritual things are spiritually discerned.

Were you only a saved Christian and truly what you call yourself--a follower of Christ--you would understand this.

NOW--you see just how UGLY the things YOU say sound?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 10/1/12


Hello,family,I had such a friend, who was also, a catholic priest, he the only person always came to the door christmas,bring me goodies, take me out for pizza, when I had been so long inside hospital, for cancer.He never came to my home or. nothing like that, but, it was still almost start. summer, he told me he disconnecting his phone,even Cell.fon.and. said nothing, but, he seemed fear of something. He helps out. school.need and after now he still be there and I felt hurt too, but I am not know what to say, so,I go to my house. Baffles me,but I will not dare to talk.He was my only friend. All the people are stress out. Pray God remedy.all.this
---ELENA on 10/1/12


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\\every catholic priest who claims God told them to remain single is a liar because the teaching of celibacy is a doctrine of devils .\\

In other words, you cannot provide a number. Remember that elswhere St. Paul DID teach celibacy ("I wish that all were as I), and even Jesus mentioned it as a counsel.

This passage in 1 Tim is talking about those who forbade marriage TO ALL and looked down upon it as sinful in itself, as certain pagan and gnostic sects did.

Now I understand why you do not know the Bible. You don't even understand simple English questions you are asked.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 10/1/12


Please give me the number of ALL the Roman Catholic priests that you know that God did NOT tell to remain single to serve Him.

every catholic priest who claims God told them to remain single is a liar because the teaching of celibacy is a doctrine of devils .

1 Timothy 4:1-3 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils, Speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their conscience seared with a hot iron, Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
---Follower_of_Christ on 10/1/12


\\But as regards the Catholic's practice of barring all Priests from marrying, it has no reference/foundation in the Bible.\\

Please give me the number of ALL the Roman Catholic priests that you know that God did NOT tell to remain single to serve Him.

As a matter of fact, a Pentecostal preacher once said, "If God calls you when you're married, plan on staying married. If he calls you when you're single, plan on staying single."

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 10/1/12


Cluny: IF God had told you not to marry and serve HIM, please continue obeying the specific instruction that God has given you. But as regards the Catholic's practice of barring all Priests from marrying, it has no reference/foundation in the Bible. Even the Catholic church has not declared that God instructed them to be doing so(unlike you).
---Adetunji on 10/1/12


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\\If you know anyone whom God told not to marry because of HIS service, kindly tell me.
---Adetunji on 8/8/12\\

Me, for one.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 9/30/12


Cluny: From 1 Cor.7 that you quoted, you will find Apostle Paul say in verse 9, //But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn//. If a Catholic Priest decides to marry, he will be asked to step down as a Priest, this is not in line with Gods word. If you know anyone whom God told not to marry because of HIS service, kindly tell me.
---Adetunji on 8/8/12


Annie, have you thought of anyone other than yourself in this matter? Sometimes our obedience causes others to be hurt. Your priest might have been too tempted that he would sin if your relationship continued. Priests are just as subject to temptation as everyone else. Given that, he may have felt it necessary to end his relationship with you, rather than hurt you deeper by allowing himself to sin with you. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, pray for him. He might also be hurting for the loss of your friendship.

Also, get yourself involved in some sort of ministry to help others. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, or food bank. God has so many opportunities for us to be His hands and feet with people less fortunate than us.
---Trish on 8/7/12


\\This can't be right. Priest are suppose to be examples of goodness - and, inexplicably making someone who has been your friend feel so badly is just wrong! He is a phony bologne!!!
---AnnieM on 8/2/12\\

You, of course, NEVER do wrong things or make mistakes in your relationships, and ALWAYS make everyone around you feel good. Right?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 8/5/12


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He, of course, has not spoken for himself here. If he really is fake, how come you were not able to tell the difference? There are religious people who are in darkness so they do not see who they are marrying or how their leaders really are. But they pretend people are the way they dictate people have to be, so they can use them. Then, after marriage, or after getting to know a priest or pastor . . . the proof is in their face, that they won't be able to use the person, and this gets them upset, etc. and in divorces.

in my opinion
---willie_c: on 8/4/12


\\I have not heard God told anyone not to marry because of HIS own service.\\

And you think that God tells you His plans for other people?

As a matter of fact, St. Paul in 1st Corinthians says, "Are you unmarried? Then don't seek a spouse. The unmarried person cares for the things of the Lord. The married person how to please the spouse." (Paraphrase, yes, I know.)

FWIW, most Orthodox parish priests are married before ordination to the Diaconate.

Monastic priests are another matter, of course, though many are widowers.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 8/4/12


Cluny: My point is as follows. It is God that calls people to serve HIM (both the priest of old in Judaism, & the apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors & teachers of today). I have not heard God told anyone not to marry because of HIS own service. I feel that a group working for God should not have a regulation that forbids marrying, abstinence should remain a personal thing not a group thing.
---Adetunji on 8/4/12


Annie: Scripture says to avoid all appearance of evil. The priest did nothing wrong in stopping the relationship. He may have been tempted to sin in his friendship, and chose to end it for both their sakes. Scripture says to flee fornication.

Of course, I am just speculating. I also believe what Romans 8:28-29 says, that God makes all things work together for good... So, while this woman may have been hurt, God is at work in her life.
---Trish on 8/3/12


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This can't be right. Priest are suppose to be examples of goodness - and, inexplicably making someone who has been your friend feel so badly is just wrong! He is a phony bologne!!!
---AnnieM on 8/2/12


\\God stipulated that a priest should marry one wife that is a virgin.
---Adetunji on 7/30/12\\

Actually the Jewish Cohen and the Christian Presbyter are not the same things, though the word "priest" is used for both.

And because you are not Orthodox, that means that your own practices do not agree with the Word of God.

\\Augustine, who wrote that it was all right for a couple to procreate but that it was a sin to get any enjoyment from the act itself.
---Smitty on 7/29/12\\

Consider St. Augustine's libertine life before his conversion. His idea is NOT something the Orthodox Church accepts, btw.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 8/1/12


I do not agree with the Catholic doctrine that forbids priests from marrying because God stipulated that a priest should marry one wife that is a virgin. Some Catholics have tried to explain their belief in what they practice but I still believe it is contrary to God's word.
---Adetunji on 7/30/12


It is a shame what Christianity has done to hinder relations between the sexes, beginning with Augustine, who wrote that it was all right for a couple to procreate but that it was a sin to get any enjoyment from the act itself.
---Smitty on 7/29/12


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Thanks, but it still hurts a lot. I didn't see it coming, and also feel embarrassed and as though I did something wromg - though, not sure what :(
---AnnieM on 7/25/12


AnnieM, there is a centuries-old maxim (I've heard attributed variously to St. John Chrysostom and St. Jerome and others) guiding relationships between priests and parishioners. "Avoid friendships with women."

Protestant ministers might do well to hearken to this advice, too.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 7/25/12


You say you're "so hurt and confused". Well, if you were close, this can show you got emotionally involved, though not in a romantic way. You're a lady, and in American culture ladies can get much more emotional in relationships, than their men might. So, I consider this a "warning" to myself, how I need to be sensitive to what is happening with lady friends of mine. I may be cool, but they might not. What do I do, then?

I would say make sure you are with Jesus, so you are less able to get in trouble about changes like this. And get into more and better relationships, with more people (c: Changes do come, but loving is worth it! (c:
---willie_c: on 7/25/12


agree with trish and cluny but he still does need to communicate what happened. Not knowing is sometimes worse than knowing the truth.
---Scott1 on 7/25/12


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So sad. Why would he just stop talking to this poor girl when she hasn't crossed any lines (assuming she is giving us the facts correctly)?
---TaraX on 7/24/12


I agree with Cluny. He probably was finding himself tempted to go against his vows, and needed to be away from you. Priests are still human, and face the same temptations that others do. His feelings for you were most likely changing from friendship to romance.

Pray and ask God to examine your heart. Psalm 139 is good to read, especially the last two verses. It may be that deep down, you might have also developed feelings and desires for a more intimate relationship. If so, it means you are human, because that could happen to any woman who is friends with a man.

Pray for him, and ask God to help you let him go. Thank God that he was willing to let you go, rather than violate his vows.
---Trish on 7/24/12


Catholic. He is a lot older than I am, and our conversations never went any where near the inappropriate realm so I never imagined that any problems existed with our friendship.
---AnnieM on 7/24/12


You've not said whether you're Roman Catholic, Orthodox, or Anglican (in their various kinds).

But if the first, there's a possibility he found his relationship with you a serious temptation.

In this case, the most loving thing you can do for him is commend him to the Lord, and get on with your life.

This applies to the other cases as well.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 7/24/12


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