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Divorce After Twenty Years

I've been with my husband for 20 years. I want to break free. Please help.

Moderator - Why?

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 ---maria_kaake on 8/24/12
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Takes courage to ask that. The essence is in "break free".We use those words when we are imprisoned. Persue Christian marriage guidance, get a number of opinions. Get "The five love languages" book and "His needs, her needs" and assess his response. Folks will tell you about a kind, loving and forgiving father for all the other mistakes we have made, but not now. Scripture does not say that we will not be forgiven, unlike those who fail to provide for brothers and sisters in poverty, troubles and in jail. God knows that we live in a fallen, unloving and mad world, and forgiveness and reconciliation is still the same. I bless you with finding the answers you need, even if it's not what you want to hear just yet.
---Ron on 9/7/12


anon, it was not the FORTH. it may have been the FOURTH, but i only counted three. one, i simply disagreed based on scripture with something that you said on topic. the other, i was simply asking you a question based on what you told another. the third, you say you were not being judgmental but assumed the husband was to blame. that is being judgmental and that is also a no-no in God's eyes.

i may seem self-righteous to you, and that's ok. but i never said anything to defend or justify myself nor did i attack you. they were just comments based on your posts and a series of questions that you took offense to.
---aka on 8/31/12


aka, this is the FORTH time I saw that all you did was attack my responses, and not answer the blog question, why is that?

Why zoom in on my responses and attack them? and why don't you just respond to the bloggers question? Don't you have any advice for them? Are you that void of the word that you can't give out your own advice in stead of attacking others advice?
What makes you so sure your advice is always right? You come off self-righteous and that's a no no in God's eyes.
Moderators, please let this post. Thank you. God Bless.
---anon on 8/31/12


Why do you want to break free? Is he abusing you? Did he commit adultery on you? We are not your judge nor are we judging you, we are just here to tell you what God's word says. ((huggs))
---anon on 8/30/12

Why do you want to break free? Is he treating you fairly for the most part and you just cannot be satisfied? Are you or do you want to commit adultery?

We are not here to judge you, but we are here to prejudge that he is the problem.
---aka on 8/30/12


Maria, Read what Jesus said about Divorce. You can only get divorced for reasons of adultery.

Also, the Apostle Paul said, "If she does leave, she is to remain single."

Why do you want to break free? Is he abusing you? Did he commit adultery on you? We are not your judge nor are we judging you, we are just here to tell you what God's word says. ((huggs))
---anon on 8/30/12




Your husband is the one who needs help. Why do you want to destroy his life and your childrens' life if you have any?
---KarenD on 8/27/12


You probably have already, at least mentally and emotionally.

As a believer, you could not do this without suffering great loss at His coming.

You speak nothing of divorcement, but there is little difference between abandoning a spouse mentally versus physically.

There would be consequences in this lifetime as well.
---Phil on 8/26/12


You can't get bored with God. Even if the husband has not been good with you, with God you can have all that is good with Him. And Jesus makes us "free indeed" (John 8:36). Paul says that even if you are a slave and a Christian . . . you are "the Lord's freedman." (1 Corinthians 7:22) So, you can have freedom better than what depends on your husband or depends on getting away from him. Jesus is better. So - - with God, find out (c: It works to pray for God to have me loving and blessing anyone who is a problem for me. His love makes us better.
---willie_c: on 8/26/12


Maria: You have two very easy choices.

1. Obey God, and stay married. (Read 1 Corinthians 7)

OR

2. Disobey God, and get divorced.

You decide.
---Trish on 8/26/12


What help do you want?

More ear tickling to deaden your conscience so you can convince yourself that you have grounds to leave him?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 8/26/12




\\Outside of reasons for what would have brought about his stoning (hence freeing you) in New Testament times,\\

There is nothing in the NT that justifies stoning.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 8/25/12


Sounds like a midlife crisis to me.
---KarenD on 8/25/12


Outside of reasons for what would have brought about his stoning (hence freeing you) in New Testament times, and even then, there are not many good reasons for a divorce.

If you are a Christian, whether his is or not, you are told not to leave your spouse.

If you have kids, know that this will make a bit of a mess of them, no matter how old they are.
---chip on 8/25/12


As the mod said, why do you want to end your marriage? Most reasons for breaking up a marriage have at least some merit to them. Boredom and apathy are not good reasons.

Are you a believer? Is he a believer? Do you have children? If you have kids, how old are they, and do they live with you?

You have left a ton of questions unanswered.
---Trish on 8/25/12


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