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Apologize To Ex-Husband

Should I contact my ex-husband on FB 2 apologize 4 not being the wife he wanted me 2 be? I don't want 2 re-kindle anything. I'm married 2 another man for over 20 yrs. This is something that's been bugging me 4 some time. I want 2 do right!

Moderator - I don't think your current husband would appreciate the gesture?

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 ---Terry_A. on 8/30/12
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I think you should only contact him with your husband only after you prayerfully review your motives.
I think that you are not completely healed and that you need the forgiveness to heal.
Again...It must all be done in the light and with your husbands blessing and your x must know that you and your husband agreed to this together and why and that there will not be any privacy between you two. If your x is saved, you will be in heaven together anyways!
If your husband agrees (after he prays about it) than that will affirm that it is God's will. Remember to invite your x's current wife into the conversation also.
---Sue_Coals on 2/23/14

Terry, the One you should contact is God and confess to Him what a terrible wife you were, and to forgive you and change you to a more wonderful loving wife now that you are married again. It's time to change.
Contacting your ex will only cause problems for him and bring back memories he wants to forget.
There must be another reason other then to confess your mistakes to your husband, not the one you told us. Leave your ex along.
---Mark_V. on 9/9/12

Terry A., I think you should first learn to type out words instead of substituting them with numbers like a fourteen year old girl on a cell phone before you make yourself look like an idiot to your ex-husband.
---Jed on 9/4/12

Hello,sister from experience,those old feelings are not apologize but,it like kendal the flame and tarnish the good more than likely,good caring happy guy ..this is not good for neither you or present, If I were you. Do write a letter. To God and let it be a prayer, Satan love to destroy a happy family with doubt,discouragement and lill soap opera mixed in... get over the past! Be happy,healthy,wise ..ELENA
---ELENA on 9/3/12

Leave it be. He already knows, or think he knows, you weren't the wife he wanted or you would still be married to him. All you will do if you contact him is 'open a can of worms'. Don't contact him.
---wivv on 9/3/12

Do not fan the old flame!!!!
---KarenD on 9/2/12

people use excuses to contact their former spouse all the while the real agenda is not the reason they are stating they want contact no matter how much they say they don't want to rekindle. There is nothing you will make right by contacting your former spouse. If former spouse is married you could cause strife in his marriage. Believing you need to apologize for actions 20 years ago is red flag you have another motive. Instead seek God in prayer and ask for forgiveness and work on focus on your current marriage. You cannot focus on a past marriage and your current marriage and expect to give your all to the present when your mind is dwelling in the past. There is a reason the past is the past.
---Follower_of_Christ on 8/31/12

If the old flame is married, I doubt that his wife would appreciate you contacting him either.
---KarenD on 8/30/12

Just be the good way you can be now, with God. How you were is not who you are now, right? So, that isn't even you, anyway (c:

We have different answers here. Each person is different. Therefore, your husband and the one you were married to "may" not be the way ones here are assuming, and so they "mightn't" react like ones of us think they will (c:

Possibly you know how you and your husband relate and what you two would want to share about. I would not do anything in secret from your own husband, but even maybe let the other man know you both will be reading anything he sends back. If that doesn't sound like a good idea . . . "maybe" don't write to him! (c:
---willie_c: on 8/30/12

it sounds like you want to exonerate yourself.

get over yourself. believe me he did over 19.5 years ago.
---aka on 8/30/12

Uhm, I think it would be a really bad idea, 20 years later to recontact him.

I think this would be an affront to your current husband and disrespectful of him as such. Have him pass on your statement to the ex, you stay out of it!

Old wounds do not need reopened.
---chip on 8/30/12

Your use of text speech and digits for prepositions show you're not really serious about this adult matter.

If you write like an empty-headed teenager, then you THINK like an empty-headed teenager.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 8/30/12

Terry_A...NO!!!!! Absolutely not!!! This sounds like you are being tempted to do just what you said you don't want to do - rekindle something. Leave him alone!!!!
---KarenD on 8/30/12

I don't see anything wrong with apologizing on FaceBook. That may be the only way to get in touch with him. And if the Lord has it on your heart to apologize, then do it.

In fact, I did this very same thing, apologizing on FB to an ex-girlfriend for my previous failings.

Just don't do it on his Wall or Timeline.

I sent a private message, and made it very clear that my intentions were simply to apologize and express remorse for the hurt I had brought her 15 years earlier.

Have your husband read what you write, so that he knows your intent.

But don't be surprised when your husband wonders if the guy wrote you back
---James_L on 8/30/12

yes or no I don't know, but definitly NOT on FACEBOOK.
---Scott1 on 8/30/12

I agree with the moderator and even go a step farther.

Ask your husband if he minds you contacting your ex-husband on Facebook and making an apology to him.

I believe you may receive an answer you are not expecting. Your husband may even state that you need to make an apology to him!

You should understand your motives for making the apology. You need to make sure that no one is harmed as a result.

If you can, send a letter instead.
---Mark_Eaton on 8/30/12

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