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My Fiancee Has A Male Friend

My fiancee has a male friend. She knew him before we started dating and she continues to talk with him and see him occasionally now that we are engaged. Is it okay in God's eyes for her to have this friendship? Should I ask her to stop seeing him except when we are together?

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 ---Roy on 10/15/12
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Hi Roy, had this same thing happen to me twenty five years ago. All I can say is "WATCH OUT!!!" (By the way, I found out before we got married. Two years later I met my wife.)
---trey on 1/7/13


If she wanted him my guess is that she would be with him since she knew him first. Marriage is about Trust first and foremost and if the two of you don't have Christ in your life your marriage has a slim to no chance of long term success. forbidding her to see or talk to him does not mean there will not be others. If her heart is yours then she will want you and only you. From a spritual standpoint the two shall be come one flesh and the desire should be to please only God and each other... forsaking all others.
---gwendolyn_Wilson on 1/5/13


I do not know that there is a problem with that as such, though sometimes it can make you feel uncomfortable.....

All people will feel a bit uncomfortable, and you can tell your finacee that, but it is best to let her know that it is a reasonable friendship, but one that happens to make you feel awkward.

I cannot say there is something wrong, but it would be good for her to reduce seeing him once she knows you feel odd about it
---Peter on 11/3/12


If you love a woman the way she wants to be loved then you have a relationship that no man can separate.

Yes any man can separate a relationship it is called temptation. When one spouse is determined to tempt temptation (essentially tempting Satan) from the beginning it is a marriage that is doomed. What works for feeling of love today may not work tomorrow, and the man a women regularly entertains outside of her husband may creep in to fill a void of the way (feeling) of how she wants to be loved

1 Thessalonians 5:22
Abstain from all appearance of evil.

suspicion can ruin the best of a loving marriage why if a women seeks to be married would she entertain the appearance of being with another man?
---Follower_of_Christ on 11/3/12


A man must initially woo the woman. Once wooed, the man must continue to woo her, it's the excitment of the lifelong chase, that will build a strong bond between the man and the woman. Two imporatant issues you must keep in mind: one, love, and two, trust. Both are communicated through body language and words. If you love a woman the way she wants to be loved then you have a relationship that no man can separate.

Besides, you have taken your significant other with all that she currently has and she has take you for all that you currently have, for better and for worse, including friends and family so actively bring everyone together joyously in Jesus' name.

Read 1 Corinthians 13.
---Steveng on 11/2/12




Come again. I'll stick with the Bible. Thank you.
---pat on 10/26/12


It has more to do with weather your fiancee is Left Brain or Right brain dominate. Most likely she is Left brain dominate. In a relationship we are naturally inclined to seek out our opposite.

The core values of a Left brain dominate person are Career/Security, Hobbies/Free time, Family/Friends & Relationship/Sex in that order. A Right brain dominate persons core vales are opposite. Relationship/Sex, Family/Friends, Hobbies/Free time & Career/Security in that order.

A left brain dominate person doesn't have a problem putting friends and family over their relationship.

If you want to know more about these concepts check out Dr. John Kappas' book Relationship Strategies. Rev. Tom Zegan CCHt.
---Tom_Zegan_CCHt. on 10/23/12


Aka: Thank you for that quote. The stat is more specific than FOC's was. So basically my stat was correct for first time marriage. FOC should have been more specific when he gave his statistic. We don't know how many times this couple has already been married, if at all.
---Trish on 10/22/12


I have thought that in Jesus we are family with a lot of brothers and sisters. If we are married, a number of our brothers and sisters are very good friends who even help us in our marriages.

So, if this man is your own Christian brother . . . you might want to get to know him. What you do with him you are doing with Jesus, I offer through Matthew 25:40.

But if he is not a trustworthy person . . . and she considers him to be a friend . . . it can be good to find out what is true about someone before you marry the person.
---willie_c: on 10/21/12


thank you aka

Roy, Is it okay in Gods eyes?

Mark 10:8
And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

To allow your wife to see this man when in your presence is absurd, will you monitor her phone calls, emails, and other communication and treat her like a child? if your fiance wants a marriage with you then she will leave her single life behind and become married to you, otherwise you will marry a women who likes the idea of marriage yet acts as if she is single. This would not be a women following 1 Peter, or Proverbs 31 and would not be a good choice for you if you are following the Lord and living your life as a Believer. don't tempt temptation in marriage.
---Follower_of_Christ on 10/20/12




"Various studies on US rate of divorce show significant differences when a comparison is made in 1st, 2nd and 3rd marriage breakups in America. The marriage breakup rate in America for first marriage is 41% to 50%, the rate after second marriage is from 60% to 67% and the rate in America for 3rd marriage are from 73% to 74%. "

i am not allowed to post urls. just type in your search: Divorce Statistics and Divorce Rate in the USA or copy the above quote in your search engine.

now, i wish that they would do a study about the percentage that is married. the divorce rate is actually dipping a little because the expense of divorce has skyrocketed.
---aka on 10/19/12


Aka: I'd like to know the source of the 70% stay.

As for my personal divorce issues, I mentioned that in response to something follower said.
---Trish on 10/19/12


trish, foc did not skew anything. anybody can look this up.

i am not trying to be facetious when i say this, but you seem to claim expertise on everything that you have done or been through. does the fact that i have been divorced twice make me more expert in divorce statistics than you?
---aka on 10/19/12


foc is right about the divorce rate, trish.
---aka on 10/18/12


Follower: Skew the stats all you want. I know full well about divorce. My 25 year marriage ended 11 years ago. I don't need you to educate me.
---Trish on 10/18/12


Follower, the divorce rate is not over 70%. It is just over 50%.

just over 50% for first time marriages, however many people who divorced (of that 50%) go on to marry again, and divorce yet again!! if 50% of elementary school aged children are a by-product of a blended family it is very clear the divorce statistic is skewed and much higher than 50% considering many wait until after children finish high school, and many more divorce prior to having children.

however believe what you want I'm sure nobody could ever convince you otherwise, however just check with a divorce attorney if you wanted a better understanding of the staggering divorce rates and the real truth.
---Follower_of_Christ on 10/18/12


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Follower, the divorce rate is not over 70%. It is just over 50%.
---Trish on 10/17/12


In marriage withholding sexual relations you place your partner in path of temptation. Your fiance can commit a lifetime to you, or she can remain single and have lots of male friends. Set boundaries now, because later she may meet men who are not just friends, however by allowing now opens up doors for future men. Temptation comes in many forms and Satan seeks to destroy marriage the evidence is all around. The divorce rate in USA is more than 70%. A strong foundation in marriage consists of one man and one women, not man women and womens male friend. Marriage was made for two people, not two plus an occassional third wheel.
---Follower_of_Christ on 10/16/12


I agree with Kevin.

BTW, don't confuse your view of things with God's view by asking "Is it okay in God's eyes.....".

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 10/16/12


If you are planning to get married, I would say your relationship is not like any other, and with God you do good to share with each other in making decisions about this and other things . . . so you become more one with each other and agreed. And do not go any further except with you together as one being satisfied with what you choose to do.

If he is a really Christian guy, he can be very good for you, too. If not, may be she is outreaching to him for Jesus. Is she evangelistic?

Or, are you both needing to become more spiritual and sound before you make any big decisions?
---willie_c: on 10/15/12


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highly encourage You to discuss this with Her,and discuss Your friendgirls also :D
---kevin5443 on 10/15/12


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