ChristiaNet MallWorld's Largest Christian MallChristian BlogsFree Bible QuizzesFree Ecards and Free Greeting CardsLoans, Debt, Business and Insurance Articles

I Verbally Abuse My Husband

I am a wife who verbally abuses her husband. I feel sick at myself. I want to change but don't know how. I lack self control. My husband is amazing and one of the most beautiful people on earth. How I can treat him like this I don't know. I can't afford counseling. Anyone got advice on how I can change?

Join Our Christian Dating and Take The Relationships Quiz
 ---Mel on 11/17/12
     Helpful Blog Vote (1)

Reply to this BlogPost a New Blog



Are you Christian?What I mean is, if you are,then I think you need to take this problem to Christ in prayer and fasting.The bible does mention the importance of watching your tongue.I believe that Christ died for us and not only that but wants to help us with our daily difficulties.It probably won't be easy to shed,but with Jesus,I think it can be done.
---twotoes on 11/28/12


Christan: I don't stop being a loving light to the people I work with. I am the same loving Christian in and out of work. I share Christ with the people I am associated with outside of work. But, I don't stop being a Christian when I interact with my patients.
---Trish on 11/28/12


"To suggest I go ahead and evangelize my patients shows your ignorance of people with mental illness." Trish

Did I suggest you evangelize to all your patients or anything of that sort? I was merely replying to your comment "What I do in my professional life is totally different than what I do in my personal ministry."

My point is if you're a Christian, how do you separate between your "professional life and personal ministry" if Christ is the centre of your life? Are we to have "two" kinds of lives?

To NurseRobert: this comment also applies to your respond. I'm not implying you evangelize at the expense of the work that God has provided for your livelihood.
---christan on 11/27/12


Christan: I do not expect to be paid to evangelize. But, if I were to evangelize the psychiatric patients I work with I would expect to be fired. Proseletyzing psychiatric patients on the job is unethical, and not only could I be fired. I could lose my social work license. I show my patients Christian love, and help them adjust to life in the hospital.

You obviously know nothing about working in the mental health field. Proselitizing patients is not in the job description for any staff member at the hospital. To suggest I go ahead and evangelize my patients shows your ignorance of people with mental illness.

I can still be a Christian witness in my words and deeds.
---Trish on 11/27/12


In work and in play, no exception of when or where.
---christan on 11/26/12

When I was in the Army, there was one soldier who spend all his time witnessing . The problem is, he neglected his work and everyone else had to pick up the slack. His "witnessing" destroyed any credibility he had as a Christian.

You are a witness for God in words and deeds. Sometimes you have to focus on your job and provide a witness for Christ that way.
---NurseRobert on 11/27/12




"When I work, I am not paid to evangelize my clients." Trish

Evangelizing comes with a "pay"? Are you serious? Were the prophets and apostles paid to evangelize? Did Christ get paid for dying on the cross? All I know is Christ PAID WITH HIS LIFE that His people may have eternal life. And I can also testify according to the Word that the prophets and apostles also paid with their lives.

Christ's instruction to His disciples (a Christian is His disciple) were specific and that's to witness and testify repentance to the Father. In work and in play, no exception of when or where.
---christan on 11/26/12


Mel: WHY do you say you verbally abuse your husband?

It may be true, but in this day, we must test everything, because we are told that everything is is abuse, and so we may also be told that things that are not abuse are abuse

If it is abuse, the best thing I can say, because I know at times I was 'troubling' for my wife as well is to accept what you did, admit it, tell him you did it - confession solves a lot

Blessings

PS Many of the apostles, if seen from today's eyes, would be in the same boat (one denayed his Lord, one dismissed the resurrection). Don't give up
---Peter on 11/24/12


Christan: When I work, I am not paid to evangelize my clients. My clients are psychiatric patients who are in a crisis. My job is to assess them upon admission, make phone calls regarding their after care, and write their treatment plans for their care at the hospital.

I don't stop being a Christian at work. I treat my clients with Christian love, as well as my coworkers.

God bless.
---Trish on 11/24/12


"What I do in my professional life is totally different than what I do in my personal ministry." Trish

You mean to tell me that a Christian leads a double life or at best practice double-standards? I'm not sure about how one after becoming a Christian by the grace of God can separate his/her love for Christ with the things of this world.

One may struggle with this but I'm sure everything we do in the world will always lead us back to the Truth. And the Truth is what a Christian is commanded by Christ to witness and testify that they may have peace with God Almighty.
---christan on 11/24/12


Mel the best counseling is prayer, seeking God to heal you of anger.

Meditate on Proverbs 31 and the writings of Peter.

Start today by writing out as many things you are thankful for about your husband and rereading and adding to that list daily. You're in a rut of negativity and have created a habit of verbal abuse, the way out is to replace this habit with a positive one, this requires effort to physically start new habits that embrace all of the appreciation, love, respect, and gratitude you have for your husband. You will have days you stumble and fall, don't beat yourself up just keep being thankful and eventually you will automatically begin to create a habit of uplifting loving comments and praise for your husband
---Follower_of_Christ on 11/24/12




Christan: I share the Gospel with unbelievers, and teach younger believing women according to Titus 2. That is Scriptural.

What I do in my professional life is totally different than what I do in my personal ministry. I do not exalt myself. I exalt the Lord, and point women to the Word of God in my ministry.

Try reading Romans 12:1-2 and Titus 2. Everything I do in my ministry is based on the Word of God.
---Trish on 11/23/12


Trish, I'm twisted for telling you that instead of teaching someone to fear and glorify God, you were busy blowing your trumpet of self-exaltation on 11/21/12.

Mind you, this all started with your "behavioral science" issue. Instead of teaching people the devastation of the fall of man which is the very reason of what's going on a around us, you're busy psycho-analyzing the human. It's all because of SIN!

It says so the the Scripture, "...the man that executeth my counsel from a far country: yea, I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass, I have purposed it, I will also do it." This declaration is without exception.

Does it sound like science to you or the work of an Almighty God?
---christan on 11/23/12


Christan, you are twisted. I don't mentor unbelievers, but believers. Try reading Titus 2, and learn what the role of an older woman in the church is. I teach younger woman to seek the Truth of God's Word so they can raise their children in a Christian home, being a Christian wife and mother. Only a twisted individual would say what you said about me.
---Trish on 11/22/12


"In my personal ministry, I mentor women to learn how God can renew their minds and change their thinking, finding the peace that passes all understanding." Trish

Wow! I thought anyone who's called to be a Christian is because they were "born of the Holy Spirit"? So why do you take the centre-stage sounding like you're the "mediator" between God and man? I thought that was Christ's role. No one but Christ can make peace between God and sinner.

Poor Holy Spirit of God, where's He in all your personal exaltation of yourself? Not even a breathe of His existence is even mentioned in your life that God has so graciously blessed you with. But instead, you glorify yourself and not God.
---christan on 11/22/12


sorry to hear you are so mean to your husband. one day you will wake up and he will be gone. there is no explanation for your abuse. just stop. stop
---shira4368 on 11/22/12


Christan, I am a born again, blood bought Christian who is a mental health professional. In my personal ministry, I mentor women to learn how God can renew their minds and change their thinking, finding the peace that passes all understanding.

It would seem you have a huge ignorance of mental illness, and the need for there to be Christians working with those afflicted with it.
---Trish on 11/21/12


Read These Insightful Articles About Personal Loans


My mistake and apologies.

"...still don't see the connection." Trish

That's your problem.

"And, don't tell me to mind my own business. What everyone posts on here is open for comment or question."

Seems you practice double-standard, while it's "opened" for you, it's "closed" to all whose name isn't Trish.

"What Phil said was true, from a behavioral science perspective."

Christ declared, "It is the Spirit that quickeneth, the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life." Scripture's got nothing to do with "behavioral science", that's why you "don't see the connection.".
---christan on 11/21/12


"Scripture has everything to do with mental health/behavioral science." Trish

"Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure: Calling a ravenous bird from the east, the man that executeth my counsel from a far country: yea, I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass, I have purposed it, I will also do it." Isaiah 46:10,11

If it's "health/behavioral science" that controls the man's mental faculty than God must be a liar when He declared what He did in the above verses.

Seriously, you call yourself a Christian?
---christan on 11/21/12


Christan: Who is Nana and what does she have to do with our discussion.

Scripture has everything to do with mental health/behavioral science.

Romans 12:1-2 "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of Gods mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Godthis is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what Gods will ishis good, pleasing and perfect will."
---Trish on 11/21/12


"...still don't see the connection." Nana

That's your problem.

"And, don't tell me to mind my own business. What everyone posts on here is open for comment or question."

Seems you practice double-standard, while it's "opened" for you, it's "closed" to all whose name isn't Nana.

"What Phil said was true, from a behavioral science perspective."

Christ declared, "It is the Spirit that quickeneth, the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life." Scripture's got nothing to do with "behavioral science", that's why you "don't see the connection.".
---christan on 11/21/12


Read These Insightful Articles About Auto Insurance


Christan, I know you were addressing Phil. I didn't see what those two verses have to do with what Phil said. I looked at it again, and still don't see the connection.

And, don't tell me to mind my own business. What everyone posts on here is open for comment or question. What Phil said was true, from a behavioral science perspective. Not everything posted here is totally based on Scripture. Nor does every answer have to be totally based on Scripture.

Finally, if you need to quote Scripture, at least make it contextual.
---Trish on 11/20/12


mel, see what i mean?

akallyll (don't know how that happened.)
---aka on 11/20/12


\\Because if you know and Love Jesus, you won't want to verbally abuse your husband. Are you saved?\\

You, of course, are so sanctified that you never sin, right?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/20/12


Do you know Jesus? I mean REALLY know Him? Because if you know and Love Jesus, you won't want to verbally abuse your husband. Are you saved? Is he saved?

Study scriptures on this subject (what comes out of your mouth). Romans tells us that "By the Spirit we are putting to death the deeds of the flesh."
Study the Word of God, Pray and seek counsel.
---anon on 11/20/12


Locate Houseparents Jobs


Trish, OPEN YOUR EYES, I was replying to Phil comments and they were - "Heredity, environment and circumstances determine how we choose to behave." I offer Isaiah 46:10,11 and Numbers 23:19 to contradict his understanding and theory.

So, do yourself a favor and mind your own business unless it's addressed to you. Unless you want to join in the "party", you're free to do so, just like you're doing now. Are you that perfect in your replies that you always stay on the topic that's given?
---christan on 11/19/12


Christan: What on earth do those two verses have to do with the topic?
---Trish on 11/19/12


Hi Mel,
You don't need a counselor. You need Jesus!
Isa9:6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counseller, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Pray earnestly, read your bible. Seek God! It doesn't happen overnight, and when you slip, ask for forgiveness and pick yourself up and try again. Keep working at it, and over time God, who is the great refiner and purifier will change you!

Lord bless you dear Sister! Your conviction shows God is already working!!!
---trey on 11/19/12


"Heredity, environment and circumstances determine how we choose to behave." Phil

Is this Scriptural? Here's what God declared,

"Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure: Calling a ravenous bird from the east, the man that executeth my counsel from a far country: yea, I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass, I have purposed it, I will also do it." Isaiah 46:10,11

"God is not a man, that He should lie, neither the son of man, that He should repent: hath He said, and shall He not do it? or hath He spoken, and shall He not make it good?" Numbers 23:19
---christan on 11/19/12


Read These Insightful Articles About Holidays


Heredity, environment and circumstances determine how we choose to behave.

Many have chilhood experiences hidden in their souls and hearts that are unknown and unobservable.

This may be the case for you. All sin is a heart issue, and none escape its presence.

Change can come. It is through believing what is in the Holy Scriptures. Only truth will free you. You must seek the Lord with all of your heart, and believe His word.

Study Paul's letter to the Romans. Meditate on it. Find yourself in it. It will free you.
---Phil on 11/18/12


I do not know you but you probably have a bad experience (can be simple, intentional, unintentional)against someone else (not your husband) maybe as a child. There is a difference between knowledge of an event and the feeling of the event. The mind works by saving the emotion and during a trigger (some similar event to previous bad experience) you lash out your emotion mostly onto your husband. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT but you need to do some soul searching and let the holy spirit find and rewrite the emotion you felt during the experience. It is probably someone you need to forgive or you are trying to hide something that scares you. God bless. This from a christian counselor of mine. Word of God prayer counseling Greenville SC.
---Scott1 on 11/19/12


Find an elderly lady in your church, say around her mid 60's or older, who is Godly in her everyday living. Someone who is respected & loved by her family. Ask her to pray with you & counsel you on how to be a good wife for your husband. Another thing, put yourself in your husbands shoes, how would you feel & react if he treated you the way you treat him. Consider the fact that he don't have to keep taking your abuse. He might just leave & never give you another chance. Is your uncontrolled mouth worth that risk? If you really love him, you will get help & stop hurting him. Hurting, & controlling someone is not love.
---Reba on 11/18/12


you do realize that you are seeking counsel from a gathering of people who is predominately verbally abusive?
---akallyll on 11/18/12


Read These Insightful Articles About Health Insurance


Mel, unless anyone of us is in the same situation as you, we are in no position to counsel you on what you should do. We too have our own sins to deal with.

What's important is you acknowledge that you have sinned against God and your husband. Only God Almighty can forgive you and make things right, none of us has the ability to do that. For we ourselves are in need of God's mercy and grace just like you.

Just remember Paul's admonishment, "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". The question is, do you believe you're a sinner and that Jesus Christ is the only "way, truth and life"?
---christan on 11/18/12


I am going to make this simple: You can not change yourself. Unless the heart changes, you remain the same. You could get counseling, God tells me that they are the busiest professionals, today. but if the heart remains the same you remain the same. And only God can change the heart.
---pat on 11/18/12


Hello,Thankyou bro.Willie..god bless you! Well, appreciate God.way sweet,tested,tried.. got to give all my love comes from JESUS! women some of us like me,felt nobody.cared. Remember when finally a godly woman.came cross my path, god used her mightily a beautifull sister.Trish is very good,she was a counselor.Gratefull! God let me know, His love is true and not over bearing,his love is sweet, there is such wisdom in God, you will be just like so happy once you see he gives a peace the world can't give you.Make.Christ first and you will see blessings..spiritual, and more. I pray for spiritual blessing first and of course, will keep you my prayers! Love of JESUS!
---ELENA on 11/18/12


First and foremost have a personal relationship with God.confess your sins and accept healing deep within.
Remain attached to the vine (God) as John 15:5 says "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit, apart from me you can do nothing.
Only God can truly overhaul each one of us.
---mj on 11/18/12


Read These Insightful Articles About Christian Dating


You admit what you are doing is wrong. That's the first step.

YOU can control what comes out of your mouth, believe it or not. Every day, God gives you chances to exercise self-control over your speech. As the Psalmist sang, "Lord, set a guard over my mouth." (Psalm 141)

Obviously you have issues that you cannot handle alone. There is ALWAYS counseling available at a price you can afford. You have to look for it. You might also want to try CODA--Co-Dependents Anonymous.

Tell your husband EXACTLY what you have told us here. If necessary, cut and paste this into an e-mail to him.

God have mercy on you and lead you to wholeness.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/17/12


Mel If you believe that Jesus is Lord and has acknowledged and confessed Him as such, rest in Him and He will change you from within by conforming you to HIs image. One in His image will submit to His word. "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." Do this, and expect this as the result of the seed of your submission. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies,"
---Josef on 11/18/12


At this point, I can read the good things that ELENA and Trish have written. And others will probably share what is good, too. I would say share here with Trish and ELENA, more, and with others who give you what is good for you. But please find whoever you trust to talk about this. And learn how to relate with your husband so you two together can help each other. He's not perfect, he needs your help to do better as a person, too. Share! (c: Don't be two separate people, but be one with each other. You can do this together with Jesus > Matthew 11:28-30.
---willie_c: on 11/18/12


Mel, firstly ask God to help you. Ask him to show you how to control your tongue. You say that you want to change so allow HIM to do that through you.

If you don't already attend a church then do so. Find one as near as possible to your home so that you can attend regularly and ensure that it is a bible-believing church - some are not.

As soon as possible try to become aware of which other woman you can trust. Don't barge in there telling everyone your business but be discrete.

Being new you will be asked many questions. Answer carefully and economically at first.

God will guide you to the one who can help you. He really will if you trust Him.
---Rita_H on 11/18/12


Read These Insightful Articles About Health Treatments


Mel. Please know that I believe the fact that you are honest and ask for help! Great start..I believe start tonite get you a bible, you will need to read God's love letter to all of us.
Start just a hint.
ICorinthians 13 Chapter speaks on what is love. True love
I am a woman who suffered abuse and after it went way.out of control.it got worse..the abuse my late husband did to me, started verbal and begjin excallate to beatings, from there worse abuse! get into looking for a good church.sitting under the word..changes got to wake up! a small flower wait for blossom.
Start. Seek God ask and talk in prayer/ bible will help you so much!
---ELENA on 11/17/12


You need to first of all, accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Repent of your sins. Ask God to forgive you, and ask your husband to forgive you.

Then, get into a Women's Bible Study, and ask the Lord to change you into a Godly Christian woman. Also, ask Him to show you a mature woman in the study who can mentor you, and hold you accountable in obeying God's Word.
---Trish on 11/17/12


Copyright© 1996-2015 ChristiaNet®. All Rights Reserved.