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Wonder About Spouse's Past

I know we can't change the past. However, does anyone "wonder" about spouse's sexual needs/desires before you met them. I was under the impression wife was virgin. Not anymore. I'm hurt.

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 ---jim on 11/23/12
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Hello,karen may God bless you. I got to say to you, you are very correct about that post Francis put...priviously,I had it on my mind. You are right it is not for Christian blogg. It is uncalled for to talk like that certainly not going to help Jim in his situation. God help bro.Jim to do as he feel lead. In JESUS name.ELENA
---ELENA on 11/27/12

At this point you can only "move on". What made you think she was a virgin when you got married, and now you aren't sure? Did she tell you? You should seek a qualified marriage counselor, but talk with your wife first to see if there is any truth in what you state about her not being a virgin before marriage. (Make sure you explain your "impression & wonder".)
---wivv on 11/27/12

actually it is spelled adultery.
---shira4368 on 11/26/12

\\Jim, sorry, I meant the woman caught in the act of adultry,\\

The word is spelled "adultEry".

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/26/12

Jim, sorry, I meant the woman caught in the act of adultry, however the woman at the well is another great example of our God loving us in spite of our past.

Lord bless you and your wife.
---trey on 11/25/12

Jim, Cluny gave the best advice. Everyone fails in life even you. Do you expect for the other person to tell you every detail of their lives and if they don't want to talk about something in their past, they are not good enough? She has to answer for her own actions to God, not to you. If you are worried about who she slept with before you, you are in big trouble. You have a cancer. Something that will always eat you up inside. And nothing will change that. No matter how good a wife she is. Later, you are going to be worried every time she goes out to shop or even looks at someone. You won't be able to work, always thinking she might leave you one day, there is someone better then you. Ask God to help you, this problem only God can get rid of.
---Mark_V. on 11/25/12

MODERATOR...Could we remove the FILTHY post from Francis please? His credibility just went out the window.
---Karend on 11/24/12
what word in my post do you find filthy?

Ask jim what his REAL concerns are and he will just repeat my post. I just went to the heart of the matter and not beat around the bush

---francis on 11/25/12

Jim, I have an older brother that has done it all. He is the black sheep of the family and when he was younger was a great example of what not to do. One day I was speaking very badly of him to my Dad. Dad turned to me and said, "trey, we've all sinned." I thought of the woman at the well and what Christ said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."
Jim, I don't know about you, but I know me. There are many things in my own life I would like to be able to go back and do differently. I bet your wife feels the same way. We can't change the past. We have to live in the now.
Lord bless you.
---trey on 11/25/12

It's Jim. Why not tell the truth before marriage? Why is this so hard for people to do? Marriage is trust, honesty, this is what a marriage is built on. How can a marriage be started on anything but...
---jim on 11/24/12

MODERATOR...Could we remove the FILTHY post from Francis please? His credibility just went out the window.
---Karend on 11/24/12

Bro.Jim.this is ELENA please stop playing chinese torture.. you are just like bro.Cluny stated 'it what you imagine she did'.Well this reminds those soap opera shows..thereNO forgiveness much, so, talk to God and let him help you. No one.likes to be ridiculed You really want out or revenge for something ' maybe' she did.or did not do.Think before you blow a good marriage.All marriage have ups & downs.It hard being alone.Takes JESUS! Keep me, It takes dedication. For real. It a shame I do not have friends here.I don't because I choose a clean "saved" life systle.Once God get a hold of Detroit honest good people can be happy but we got to plead the blood now every minute.
---ELENA on 11/24/12

Jim...If you were a virgin as you expected your wife to be, how do you even know that she was not a virgin? GET OVER IT!!!!!
---KarenD on 11/24/12

---jim on 11/23/12
You are not hurt, you are jealous. You wander if the last man or men wee better in bed than you.
Let me put your mind at ease

YES THEY WERE. They were bigger and better. She probably secretly wishes that she could have you as a husband, and them as lovers.

is that better. NO?
well do as cluny says LET IT GO

No one can compete with the past

---francis on 11/24/12

anything that happened in her past should stay there. you married her because you loved her and wanted to spend your life with her. I doubt if your past was pristine either. I would not even wonder about past...just look at now and the future. If I were in her shoes I wouldn't want to bear dirty laundry either.
---shira4368 on 11/24/12

Did your wife tell you she was a virgin, or did you just assume it? If she lied, then you need to talk to her, and then let it go. If you just assumed she was a virgin, then just let it go. Either way, it's not like she cheated on you. Her past, before you met, does not concern you.
---Trish on 11/23/12

And were YOU a virgin, jim?

As one of the characters in STEEL MAGNOLIAS said, "These days, if you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past."

Let it go, as you want God to let go of YOUR past.

Remember what I told you when you brought up this matter a couple of weeks ago? "You CAN control your thoughts if you wish."

It's not your wife's actions that are hurting you. It's what you IMAGINE your wife's actions to be that are hurting you.

In other words, you are hurting yourself. Quit playing Othello. It's not healthy for either of you.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/23/12

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