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Roles Of Pastor's Wife

To the wives of pastors. Are you an official pastor's wife with a specific role in the church or are you a pastor's wife for no reason other than that you are married to a pastor? If the former - did the church tell you that you had to fill a particular role if your husband were to be appointed pastor?

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 ---Rita_H on 11/24/12
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Why bless you Elena, thank you honey :) Always glad to bless when I can, love and hugs, Mary :)
---Mary on 12/9/12


Hello,Mary! I am so glad everytime I read one of your posts....I feel very glad. You are a good lady. God be with you & keep you feel " up & strengthened!" God bless your hubby too! Hugs! Remember you everyday in prayer.ELENA
---ELENA on 12/9/12


Hi Elena, God bless you dear, you take care of other people even though you have needs of your own. May you have sweet dreams when you nap honey and may God minister to you richly. :) Love and hugs, Mary
---Mary on 12/8/12


This for Mary, they say I am doing better but maybe it was all the worry this lady in a house alot of men. I tell her look out for your kids. I go back. January. He's out of town. They said "I ' m holding on NO tumors. I feel really tired. I have to nap in the day. But trying some more alternative.

good days & not so good. I stayed in touch with "m" because she was out of depressed but leave the kids to fend for them selves. She likes get totally wrapped up in these men. I told her your kids are more important & told her God wants to help. Me upset worry..hair fell out. Headaches. glad she with family now.
---ELENA on 12/7/12


Hi Elena, great to see you on here too :) So how is it going with the cancer honey? What are they doing about it? Are you getting any chemo or surgery? I had the works and I'm sure thankful today. I will be praying for you, God bless you for what you do for many people. :) Love and hugs, Mary
---Mary on 12/7/12




Moderator permit- thanks! This for Mary so good you on here..have to talk/ b.cancer..hope you won't mind.see you another blogg. Lol God bless, ELENA
---ELENA on 12/6/12


Paul on the subject.Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things,

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
---J_Marc on 12/6/12


Hi everyone, my singing would empty a building faster than the word "fire"! :D But God loves me anyway lol :D
---Mary on 12/6/12


Hello,Pastora Karen.smile! That sounds very excellante the way you got the ministries, different operations in the church.It really is very much serious. The most important thing to me, I am very impressed the way you have it really organize and yes! You are correct! I am looking for a good church.I love way it sounds! I would like to visit.Meet your spanish sisters & all the sisters. just have a good time in the lord.wow! thankyou! Dios os bendiga! God bless you! ELENA
---ELENA on 12/5/12


Elena...We welcome anyone who can play or sing if they can do it well. We appointed our Associate Pastor as the Music Director and he has the primary decision making in the music area. He is also an ordained minister. We have had several people come and want to play or sing and they just don't have those talents. We also have a policy that all workers in the church have background checks and must wait at least six months before working in the church if they are unknown to the leadership of the church. This gets rid of those who are just coming to "perform" and not to serve the Lord. We see a lot of people who just want a "position" and expect it to happen immediately.
---KarenD on 12/5/12




Sis. Rita, what you said is true of the church today,
"This way, the totally unchurched will cease coming after a few meetings OR they will begin to like what is being shared with them."
When God by His grace awakens someone from their spiritual death to spiritual life, that person will want to know everything there is to know about Christ. They don't leave the church, they hunger for the Word. Many today are not born of the Spirit, they go to socialize with others corrupting many. When the music stops, their joy is gone. If a church cuts the social gatherings and the music in half and add the other half to the word of God, half the church will leave. But if a person is been taught by God, he will want to know the Son.
---Mark_V. on 12/4/12


Hello,sis.Karen you have a wonderfull attitude as a pastor' wife refreshing to hear you encourage the people. I have seen controlling jealousy and negativity. I am respectfull and take it slow and some church' leaders were shock' people told them I play & sing ..never gave me a chance.thankyou Sis.Karen for sharing this about your ministry.beautifull!
---ELENA on 12/3/12


We leave the zumba and exercise classes to the professionals somewhere besides the church. God's house is for Godly things. Of course, there are those of us who could benefit from the exercise classes. LOL
---KarenD on 12/3/12


Mark V, many of these 'social gatherings' are not, necessarily, part of an "either/or" situation. Many churches ensure that ALL meetings have some Christian content. This can be done by starting and finishing each meeting with a hymn and/or bible reading and a prayer at each end.

This way, the totally unchurched will cease coming after a few meetings OR they will begin to like what is being shared with them. Such meetings might be the only times they ever hear God mentioned other than as a swear word and it could be the start of a new life for them.
---Rita_H on 12/3/12


Hello,Trish, God bless you.just glance back on here again.Try' to read & get the drift of the forum.well,there are churches that offer exercise,zumba,class for seniors/former church they did alot activities.They help the community even attorneys svc. Not when church services.It sounds good to me like Karen church.happy tooyou back.Get with me, when like I get my cpr.would love to hear more.thanks! Lol in JESUS! ELENA .
---ELENA on 12/3/12


Sis Trish, I am not against everything you do. Bible studies are not social gatherings. Learning about God is awesome, but you said,
""My church has women's retreats, Bible studies, a Christmas tea with a speaker, Ladies Night Out, exercise classes, and craft nights." Trish"

With the exception of Bible studies, everything else are social gatherings. Man always thinking of ideas how they can keep the flock together and happy. Do you know who falls away? unbelievers. They are not happy with the Word, they want less of the word and more happy gatherings. Man thinks of ideas how to win souls so they have dinners to invite friends. This is not the work of God but the work of man. The gospel wins souls.
---Mark_V. on 12/3/12


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Goodmorning, for Sis.Karen you really are quite active & sounds good to me, about your activities and positions in your church. Please think about be my penpal when I get my computer.wow! I sure would like to hear more about your church.hope you will consider sis.Karen. You are give good advice many times on these bloggs.God bless you! ELENA
---ELENA on 12/3/12


MarkV: Why do you bring up my past discussions of my professions when I have not mentioned them in this blog question?

I have asked you a question which you have not answered. How are Bible studies and retreats, where there are multiple time of preaching, NOT Spiritual?

Also, I made it very clear that these activities do not separate the women from the men during the worship services.

As KarenD has pointed out, there is nothing wrong with fellowship opportunities in the Body of Christ.

My church has strict Bible teaching, and opportunities for men's and women's Bible studies during the week.

Also, as has been pointed out previously, Scripture does not discourage fellowship opportunities.
---Trish on 12/2/12


Karen, there is many positions in the Church that need to be taken care of. They are not done by themselves. There is no reason why woman should not gather together if they so choose to do so. Just not during Church services. Church services are for preaching of the word.
My response was only because of Trish's profession that she brings out. I love her, and wish she would not have to do that. She's trying to convince whoever she is answering about how much she knows concerning her profession, even when it concerns the Word of God. We are depended on God alone. He will supply all our needs. His Works. Not our own. That was all, peace I leave both of you.
---Mark_V. on 12/2/12


It is funny to me that men who have never attended a women's fellowship meeting are putting them down. The early church met in homes and it was a social gathering situation on many occasions. Another role I have in the church is that of office manager and bookkeeper as I have over 40 years experience in that area. Never read of an office manager in the Bible, but they are definitely needed in every church.
---KarenD on 12/1/12


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\\Cluny, shopping for food is a worldly activity. We were talking about the Church of Christ. What people do during Church time. \\

When are Christians NOT on Church time?

I'm ALWAYS a member of the Church.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 12/1/12


Cluny, shopping for food is a worldly activity. We were talking about the Church of Christ. What people do during Church time. Not shopping.
Here was what I understood about Trish. She talked about two things, her knowledge of her profession and all she knew, and the Lords works. If she is speaking concerning the Lord, the matter should be about faith in God, not faith in what she says concerning her knowledge as a person who studied some profession. Then they would have to depend on her knowledge together with depending on the Lord. The Church is not for social gatherings. It is to preach the gospel Truth. And edify the believers in the things of God, not for dances or bingo's are ladies getting together and learning about their own kids.
---Mark_V. on 12/1/12


christan:

Nowhere in the Bible does it say not to do that either. If you seriously believe that everything not explicitly mentioned in the Bible is un-Biblical and should be avoided, you should get off the internet right now, and throw your computer away before it does any further damage to your soul. And turn off all your electric lights too, while you're at it.
---StrongAxe on 11/30/12


\\ If something is done in a church that is worldly, it cannot be of God. That is what I believe he is trying to convey.
---Mark_V. on 11/30/12\\

Shopping for food and working at jobs are worldly activities. We don't see Jesus dong either of these things. Therefore, they cannot be of God.

See where your reasoning leads?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/30/12


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The problem with Christan and those like him is called a hardened heart. No one is perfect but how can one claim to know God and yet be so cold at the same time.

There are a lot of people who claim to be Christians but are merely cold, religious and legalistic.
---WiseOwl on 11/30/12


MarkV: How are a Bible study and retreat NOT Spiritual?
---Trish on 11/30/12


Sis. karen, you are talking about prayer nights, worshipping God and been in love with Christ, that is not what Trish was talking about. She was talking about social gatherings. You and her have two different points. If something is done in a church that is worldly, it cannot be of God. That is what I believe he is trying to convey.
---Mark_V. on 11/30/12


\\"You're truly an amazing liar. \\

If you knew anything at all about Jewish customs, you would know that dancing at a wedding is considered a MITZVAH by traditional Jews to this day.

It's simply a case of manners that men and women did not dance together.

\\ But to come together and make merry in the name of the Lord, I see nowhere in the Scripture that instruct us to do such a thing.\\

Nor is it forbidden.

Where are we commanded to use computers, or even have our own copies of the Bible?

And as I've said elsewhere, the ability to quote scriptures is NO indication you are giving the Word of God.

I rejoice in your opprobrium. Keep blessing me.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/30/12


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christian...Do you even attend church? Our church still has Sunday School, Sunday morning services, Sunday night services and Wednesday night services as well as prayer meeting once a week. And, we "make merry" in all these services. The Bible says to make a "JOYFUL NOISE" to the Lord. We don't have dances and we don't play bingo. But, we do have a wonderful time of praising the Lord and fellowship.
---KarenD on 11/30/12


are we to do it socially to attract unbelievers to Christ in this manner of gatherings? Personally, I think not.
---christan on 11/28/12

Jesus went to dinner parties. He was even called a glutton. He called Matthew and Matthew brought his friends to dinner with Jesus Matthew 9:9.
---Scott1 on 11/30/12


Sis. Trish, I don't know why you do not get what Christan is saying. I have read all of the answers, and you kept insisting that the social gathering are in the name of the Lord. That is the reason why so many call todays church apostate. The reason Steven G, says the church today is created by satan. I oppose his view only because not all Churches are like that. Maybe those he has attended. He even said he taught at many churches. Many churches today are just social gatherings. I believe that is what Christan is trying to make you understand. Cluny opposes him also because at the RCC they have dances and bingo and other functions that are worldly.
---Mark_V. on 11/30/12


"Of course, the Wedding Feast at Cana, where doubtless Jesus danced with the groom and other male guests, wasn't a social gathering, was it?" Cluny

You're truly an amazing liar. Where does it say in John 2 that Christ "danced"? An amazing miracle happened at Cana. And you continue to pile on your lies through your own assumptions, when Scripture doesn't even say so. Harken onto Revelations 22:18,19 for your soul sake.

"Where are they forbidden?"

Do I object to "social gathering"? Of course not. But to come together and make merry in the name of the Lord, I see nowhere in the Scripture that instruct us to do such a thing.
---christan on 11/29/12


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christian...It is sad that you are so judgmental about social gatherings for Christians. The early church was primarily built by meetings in peoples' homes and many social gatherings at the time. I guess the women who are born again at these fellowship meetings aren't really saved by your thinking.
---KarenD on 11/29/12


\\I don't remember anywhere in Scripture, be it OT or NT of any such "social gatherings" by the prophets and apostles, let alone when Christ was on earth. \\

Where are they forbidden?

Of course, the Wedding Feast at Cana, where doubtless Jesus danced with the groom and other male guests, wasn't a social gathering, was it?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/29/12


Christan, if you can't see the Spiritual opportunities in a retreat or Bible study, you are twisted.

As for the annual tea or Ladies Night Out, why should Christian women have the opportunity to get together for some fun fellowship. A speaker talks about the first Christmas at the tea, and there is devotional activities at the Ladies Night Out. These events happen once a year.

That doesn't mean my church's emphasis is social. Pastor preaches the Word plainly and with passion. We had seven people accept Christ last week.
---Trish on 11/28/12


"Again, you twisted things. If you can't see the Spiritual opportunities in the ministries I listed, then again, your thinking is twisted." Trish

You keep calling me "twisted", on what grounds? Anyways, I'm merely comparing what you are declaring as doing God's work through these social gatherings to what the Scriptures testifies.

I don't remember anywhere in Scripture, be it OT or NT of any such "social gatherings" by the prophets and apostles, let alone when Christ was on earth. Basically what I am saying is when we witness and testify the Word - are we to do it socially to attract unbelievers to Christ in this manner of gatherings? Personally, I think not.
---christan on 11/28/12


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Christan: Who are you to judge? The retreats and Bible studies are Spiritual growth opportunities. The other things are opportunities to bring friends in to the church during the week. The tea and Ladies night out are once a year opportunities, and each has a speaker who speaks the Word. Both are opportunities for bringing friends in to hear the Gospel.

My church also has two food pantries that distribute food to the community, as well as a ministry to the homeless. We have women involved in both of these ministries as well.

Again, you twisted things. If you can't see the Spiritual opportunities in the ministries I listed, then again, your thinking is twisted.
---Trish on 11/28/12


"My church has women's retreats, Bible studies, a Christmas tea with a speaker, Ladies Night Out, exercise classes, and craft nights." Trish

Sound like "your church" is a social gathering venue, period. And you dare say, "You have something seriously wrong with your thinking"? What has those things you have mentioned to do with "worshipping God in Spirit and in Truth"?

I do not stand in judgment of what you do with your "personal time" but to do these things and then to say it's in the name of the Lord, that I do not understand. What you do is no different from the world of unbelievers, but at least they do not use the name of the Lord in vain.
---christan on 11/27/12


Just a little point I want to add. I am not a servant to the church like a lot of pastor's wives become. Instead I encourage the congregation to get involved in the Lord's work. This is a great way to find out what talents the Lord has given to people. Some pastor's wives previous to our coming here insisted on controlling everything.
---KarenD on 11/26/12


The role of a pastor's wife should be no different from that of any other man's wife unless she and her husband were employed as a couple with specific roles in the church. If the church advertised for a pastor that is who they employ. If the wife is happy to take on duties the church have received a bonus.

I know 2 pastors' wives who refused to attend interviews or meet any church members until after their husbands had been appointed. Their reason being that they felt a husband should not be selected based on what his wife was like.

I think that was very wise of them.
---andreea on 11/26/12


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Thank you Cluny. As an older woman, I am doing what God says to do.
---KarenD on 11/25/12


Christan: You have something seriously wrong with your thinking.

A women's ministry does not mean the women worship separate from the men on Sundays. It means they have organized opportunities for fellowship and spiritual growth geared for women. My church has women's retreats, Bible studies, a Christmas tea with a speaker, Ladies Night Out, exercise classes, and craft nights. What's great about the women's ministry activities is that they are great opportunities to invite friends who may need Christian fellowship, or don't know the Lord.
---Trish on 11/25/12


The principal role of the pastor's wife is to take care of the pastor and his family and see to his domestic needs.

She's not a free employee of the congregation.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/24/12

and a good pastor will protect his wife fiercely.
---aka on 11/25/12


Christan, yes sadly many church members DO expect more than that from a pastor's wife. Some churches expect her to run the creche, take Sunday School and women's fellowship, maybe sing in the choir or play the organ PLUS accompany her husband whilst visiting the sick and a heap more things.

How and when they think she has the time to also do her washing, cook for her family, go shopping or get some badly needed sleep I really don't know.

As one answerer says, she is not there to be a free employee of the church but that is exactly what she seems to be considered in many churches
---Rita_H on 11/25/12


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\\Did God instruct the children of Israel when they come together in worship of Him to separate the man from the woman or even the children?
\\

As a matter of fact, women DID stand separately from men in Jewish worship in both the Temple and to this day in Orthodox synagogues.

St. Paul does say that the older women are to instruct the younger women.

This is one of the things that deaconesses, such as St. Phoebe, were originally ordained for: ministry to other women in a society where men did not mingle with women not their relatives.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/25/12


In the U.K. it is not uncommon for a man to be pastor of 3, 4 or even 5 churches. These are sometimes many miles apart so there might be a great deal of travelling to do between morning and evening services.

This means the churches rely on lay preachers on all the occasions when an ordained man cannot be with them for Sunday services, prayer meetings and bible studies. This is true in many different denominations. It is far from ideal.

The wives of many of these men do have active roles and some have none whatsoever, it is their free choice to be involved in their husband's ministry. Some just accompany their husband as he moves from church to church each Sunday
---Rita_H on 11/25/12


When we hear that there's a "women's ministry" in a "church" or gathering of God's people, is that even biblical? Did God instruct the children of Israel when they come together in worship of Him to separate the man from the woman or even the children?

So the wife of a pastor, the keyword is "wife" is to behave like a Godly wife to the pastor, period. Is there something more that one expects out of the pastor's wife?
---christan on 11/24/12


---KarenD on 11/24/12

You have my deepest respect, and highly covet your dispostion.

When we are translated at His coming in clouds for us, you will be requited for all you've surrendered of your own personal life.

It will be no difficult matter to submit to you in all that God requires of us then, knowing of your faithfulness here and now.

In and among the celestial beings at that time, those understanding authority will wield it proportionally to what Christ has accomplished in them here and now.

I dare say, in expectation, even more than we can imagine.
---Phil on 11/24/12


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The principal role of the pastor's wife is to take care of the pastor and his family and see to his domestic needs.

She's not a free employee of the congregation.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/24/12


As my husband's wife I am his partner in the ministry. My duties at the church is to support him in whatever his decisions are. As Women's Leader, I teach the Women's Bible Study as well as "delegate" tasks for the other women's activities. Fortunately, we pastor a church which is full of volunteers who love to do the work of the Lord. I feel that my main ministry to our congregation is one of encouragement to everyone.
---KarenD on 11/24/12


Many pastors and their wives are both ordained clergy and serve their churches as a team most work out very well for mutual benefit of the congregation.
---Blogger9211 on 11/24/12


I don't know what my church's policy is, because my pastor has been at my church for a while. However, I do know that the Pastor's wife leads the Women's Ministry that we have, and also teaches the Ladies Bible Study in the morning. At least the last three pastors' wives did.
---Trish on 11/24/12


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