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Wife Had Another Man's Baby

My wife had another mans baby and everyone that knew she was pregnant knows she cheated. Should I forgive?

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 ---Les on 12/9/12
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Born, in your response it seemed as if you were indicating you are going through the same problem. If you are then what you said was just awesome. It takes a real great man to do what you say.
Every sin has a consequence, and you are willing to take that consequence no matter how hard it might be and put it on the hands of God. I command you for doing what you are doing. It is never the child's fault. peace I leave you.
---Mark_V. on 3/2/13

My marriage has gone the way of most. My position: I LOVE KIDS. I don't care if they are mine or not. Psalm 127:4-5 "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in ones youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." I like children more than pets. I won't divorce my wife because adultery. I don't want her to have an abortion regardless of the unborn being mine or not. Hosea had the same situation you have. Still he showed love for Gomer. Read Hosea. Michal, the wife of David took a second husband without divorcing her first and the wife of Samson did the same. Of course in the Bible a female is to have only one male. David did not divorce Michal nor is there mention of any of David's wives divorcing him.
---born on 2/27/13

Les, forgiving is a very hard thing to do. It is easier to be mad than to forgive. Forgiving is never to bring it up again. And that is also hard to do, when another problem arises. But that is the only answer anyone can give you that will settle your own heart. A couple can forgive their children real easy because they are your blood and somehow that love is different. But your spouse is not your blood, so it is harder to forgive. For your sake you need to forgive. If she cheats again, then I would say, you have to take a different course of action.
I belief that when a person breaks the bond of marriage, it is easier to do it again, but if the person really loves the Lord, they will not do it again.
---Mark_V. on 2/27/13

First, are you both born again Christians? If so, you can forgive, but it will take time to forget. You will just have to discipline yourself to forget: for example, don't show a lack of trust if she's out with the "girls". Second, I'd ask her "why" she felt this need to cheat. Third, how do you know it's not your baby? Even though you forgive her, she has to accept your forgiveness, if doesn't accept your forgiveness, she may just decide to do it again knowing you will forgive her again. Forth, it would still be wise for both of you get marital counseling from a Christian counselor that neither of you knows or is recommended to you by someone in the church, unless it's the pastor.
---wivv on 2/25/13

Les, It will be very hard to forgive someone who has cheated on you. You have very hard decisions to make. One, If you descide to do to stay, you will have to forgive her. There is no way you can live with her if you do not forgive her. You will always be concern where she goes and what time she gets home. The only way you can is if you are totally committed to Christ. Only a person who is truly committed can forgive a person who has betrayed him. Remember, she has to answer to God, not to you in the end. And you have to answer to God for what you do. If you stay with her, you will also have to deal with the baby. Remember, it is not the child's fault he/she came to be. It was permitted by God.
---Mark_V. on 12/19/12

hi les,my advice is yes forgive your wife,and dont think about wat everyone else knows,forgive her and treat her like she was the best wife in the world to you,forget her sin,that my friend would be love,im not saying it wil be easy,tel her your love her!have a good day!
---jamea3475 on 12/17/12

Brother,I am a female & I had a husband who impregnate our so - call best friend. I was young bout 19 pregnant too! He left me. They didn' last long, she ask me forgive her.She was 40. I was hurt so angry got ill, my baby died. I went into a coma. I did NOT honestly know much a bout God. I remember she kept try to talk to me. I refused. I moved to another city. her baby was 4 mo.old
She one day just drop dead in the kitchen. I felt bad honestly about it. I learn from that day better to forgive. I almost took my own self out. I felt so bad about being so mad. Nobody won. It took me 2 years to get my head together again.I will pray God lead all of this. You are a brave man. God bless you! Love of JESUS. ELENA

---ELENA on 12/11/12

Jesus said that if you do not forgive God will not forgive you. That's the answer.
---KarenD on 12/11/12

Les my brother, u can forgive, but It doesnt mean u have to keep her. My ex slept with a few people at my job before me, we broke up, she left and is still sleeping with people at my job, lol. I could hate her, but I dont. I forgave her, but want nothing to do with her.
U have a very heavy and stressful burden to bear. I personally would not want a wife who cheats, then goes off and gets pregnant.
If she is not remorseful and u are strong enough to let her go, then do so. Because she probably invited a demon in the house from the cheating.
If not, keep her and deal with the pain.
I will pray for u.... And find a holy man or woman to pray with, they take the pain away.
---Jcb on 12/11/12

Cluny: "Something tells me that the SDA does NOT observe the commandment of Numbers 5:12ff."

Would that something be the voice of Satan in your head? You are indeed the accuser of the brethren. No one mentioned SDA's but you. Shame on you! Stick to the blog question and stop your infernal denomination bashing. Good grief!

---jerry6593 on 12/11/12

Should I forgive?


And that forgiveness has nothing to do with whether or not it is known by others. Even if you were the only one to know, the answer is the same.
---Chria9396 on 12/10/12

I have heard it said that holding on to anger is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person will die.

If you don't forgive somebody else, this isn't hurting that other person - it's just hurting you.
---StrongAxe on 12/10/12

and as far as the child...God adopted a bunch of illegitimate children as his own. everybody knows how we cheat on GOd.

if you forgive your can love your child. if cannot be the dad as he is dad to us.
---aka on 12/10/12

Hi Les,

Christ said this:
Mr10:4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
Mr10:5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.

I would suggest that you seek to forgive. If she is remorseful your marriage can survive. I've seen many that were even stronger but it takes time and God. If she is not remorseful, she has committed fornication and you have a scriptural right to divorce.

I pray the Lord bless you and guide you and your wife.
---trey on 12/10/12

Something tells me that the SDA does NOT observe the commandment of Numbers 5:12ff.

Therefore, contrary to their claim, they do not keep ALL the commandments of God.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 12/10/12
hhhmmm remember this post
---francis on 12/10/12

Do you want God to forgive you?

Then forgive your wife.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 12/10/12

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Something tells me that the SDA does NOT observe the commandment of Numbers 5:12ff.

Therefore, contrary to their claim, they do not keep ALL the commandments of God.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 12/10/12

Les, YES, you definitely should forgive your wife. You MUST forgive her if you want to enter GOD's Heavenly Kingdom someday. Please read MATTHEW 18:21-35. If you want GOD to forgive you of all your sin, you must do likewise to all those who sin against you. It's a Godly Spiritual Law.
---Gordon on 12/10/12

Numbers 5:12 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man's wife go aside, and commit a trespass against him, And a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, and be kept close, and she be defiled, and [there be] no witness against her, neither she be taken [with the manner],
Numbers 5:15 Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest,......

Numbers 5:29 This [is] the law of jealousies, when a wife goeth aside [to another] instead of her husband, and is defiled,

---francis on 12/10/12

good answers from Scott and joseph, and probably others will also give good things.

I'm thinking . . . not only forgive . . . but how to love her.

Of course, does she want to be forgiven? Even if she doesn't, be ready with forgiveness, be there for her by being ready for however she wants to do better however God blesses her . . . instead of having bitterness ready to go and this spoils how you two could do better when she really wanted to but you are in stuff that keeps you from being able to love.

I know a guy who let his lady go because she wanted independence. He cared for the girls! Then she came back, and I received her, after years (c: We all welcomed her (c:
---willie_c: on 12/10/12

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Forgiving, forgetting and staying with a cheat are all different things.

If we don't forgive then we will not be forgiven.

Man doesn't forget unless God allows this to happen supernaturally. It is highly likely that you will always have the memory of what she did.

Deciding to make a life without her is a choice you have, scriptually, and no-one should condemn you for that (but some will). Some will tell you that it proves you have not forgiven her. Any who say that to you are the ones with a problem.

You should feel no guilt for this. Some people make it an art to make others feel guilty.

Ask God to guide you and take it from there.
---Rita_H on 12/10/12

"My wife had another mans baby and everyone that knew she was pregnant knows she cheated. Should I forgive?" Yes Les, not forgiving her would serve you no purpose, and would cost you. For "if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Mat 6:15
---joseph on 12/10/12

Forgiveness is for you not her. You can hold the anger towards her or you can be like Christ forgave you and your sins. Unforgiveness is like you drinking poison so that someone else dies. If you choose divorce or to recouncile it is a different matter and that depends on your heart and her heart.
---Scott1 on 12/10/12

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