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Husband Talking With Woman

I found out my husband has been "talking" to another woman-who is married. We have 3 children. He claims no intimate relations with her. However I have found conversation from him stating things that are inappropriate and that she wanted to leave her husband for him. What do I do?

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 ---Stephenie on 4/9/13
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Jesus did not call us to inaction, but to confrontation with the troubles of the world (both that that are ours, and those that are not). Though it may render your heart and tear it asunder, you must confront him in the love of Christ if anything is to be salvaged. Remind him of his responsibility to his children, you, and most importantly, his God. Remind him of whom he swore an oath before, not the white clad punitive of man, but before the throne of God his sacred covenant was established. But above all else, love him, hold him, and God will bless and strengthen you to fill the task before you.
---A_servant on 6/17/13


The question you should be asking is, "Why is he talking to another woman?"
---wivv on 6/17/13


\\Cluny, contacting another person and discussing things is exactly the same whether face to face, on the 'phone or via the internet or in a letter sent by mail.\\

No, it isn't. And your saying so doesn't make it so.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 6/17/13


Josef, another great answer you gave concerning what to do,
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." Pro 3:5,6
"He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered."
(Pro 28:26).
Anytime people try to fix things they normally get worse. The fixing people do is only temporally. Only God can do a perfect job. We need to trust God with all our heart for all things. Only He can change a person.
---Mark_V. on 4/17/13


You may not be married, Nikki, but that was a good comment about how my wife 'handles' me!
---Peter on 4/14/13




Stephenie, tell him what you already know, and how it is inappropriate to you, your marriage and family. Tell him to please stop speaking to her since it is worrying you.
Your marriage is worth it. If your husband refuses, ask him why?

Stay calm and keep a low tone if you wish for your husband to discuss the matter with you.
Let him finish his point of view even if it is hard to hear.
I'm not married, but men seem to shut down if they think you are starting a fight.
They are not a talkative bunch.

---Nikki on 4/12/13


Exodus 20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that [is] thy neighbour's

why do you suppose, man servant and maid servant is included but NOT HUSBAND?
---francis on 4/12/13


Talk with him some more - in a setting where you won't get disturbed by the phone, people knocking at the door or children Tell him you are still concerned about his contact with this other woman. Ask him to break his communications, of any type, with her, for YOUR sake. If he won't, you may have problems in the marriage that should be examined right away. (Even if he says nothing is going on, or any other excuse, remind him he is doing this for you! Don't accuse him of anything! This about you and your desire that he break if off with her.)
---wivv on 4/12/13


Ask him to limit himself, brief words only. Suggest that he tell the woman to go to pastoral counseling with her husband. Your husband should remind the woman that if she divorces her husband, she is to remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband (1 Cor 7:10) and that any man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery and that a man who divorces his wife to marry another woman commits adultery. Have him remind the woman, "I'M MARRIED." Other than that, THIS IS THE CHURCH TODAY. Couples will soon divorce to marry their own gender. I'm even waiting for pastor to do this. Soon it will be illegal to speak against any such things.
---Bug on 4/12/13


"What do I do?"
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." Pro 3:5,6
"He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered." Pro 28:26
---josef on 4/12/13




Cluny, contacting another person and discussing things is exactly the same whether face to face, on the 'phone or via the internet or in a letter sent by mail. People are exchanging views, planning something illicit or illegal, etc. It makes absolutely no difference.

If a man has an inappropriate conversation with a woman (not his wife) it makes no difference what method of communication he chose to use.

I doubt that God will see a difference so why do you?
---Rita_H on 4/11/13


By "talking", do you mean text-messages on his cell phone or e-mails?

These are NOT talking, which is done with the vocal mechanism.

Please clarify.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 4/9/13


Stephanie: 'However I have found conversation from him stating things that are inappropriate and that she wanted to leave her husband for him.'

Do you have this in a way that you can show him and demand an answer? If you do, it is probably best to do that.

Especially as many people, both men and women, will say things they do not mean, and showing things to him will bring him back to earth.

If you can't show it to him, then the question becomes how sure you can be of what is really going on......

Blessings
---Peter on 4/9/13


If you are a Christian and if he claims to also be one then ask him again if he has someone else. If he says 'no' and you have proof that he has then ask why he is lieing and ask what he thinks God will do with him because of this.

If you can cope with giving him another chance (if he actually wants one) then try to give your marriage another go. If you cannot because he's been with someone else then plan your departure or, if it's possible, tell him to leave the marital home.
---Rita_H on 4/9/13


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