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Dating Non Christian Man

I have been dating this non christian man for a month. He treats me so kindly, but I know I should not be seeing him because he's not saved, I have tried to break up with him but I hurts just like a knife. How can I break this off without the pain?

Moderator - Because if you don't break it up now, it's going to hurt like two or three knives later.

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 ---leenell_jackson on 4/15/13
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I know what it's like. I know how it hurts to truly love an unsaved person. It took me months to break up with someone that I loved enough to die for, but I had to, because in the end I love God more than any person. God died so that we could be free from sin and its influence. As the light, we can never truly have communion with darkness, even though for awhile, our minds can strive to think that we can somehow change them, or show them. It can't work, not if you really love God. He has a purpose in this, even if it may hurt. It is hard, but you're not alone, in the name of Jesus Christ who died on the cross for you, who knew you before the world began, you know what you need to do, you have my prayers and, more importantly, God's strength. Go.
---A_servant on 7/18/13


The way around this and through this is definitely pain because your emotion is involved. Time heals hurts and pains. Trust God to bless you with a man who loves God and let go. You are only letting go to get something far better. Trust me i've been there.
---Adebisi on 7/17/13


francis, I didn't say she was I said she MAY have been. lots of things happen in a war.
---shira4368 on 5/8/13

good for you
---francis on 5/8/13


francis, I didn't say she was I said she MAY have been. lots of things happen in a war.
---shira4368 on 5/8/13


it seems the woman you mentioned was kidnapped and was in a forced relationship. don't tell me to read my bible,
---shira4368 on 5/7/13
God's word not mine
---francis on 5/8/13




francis, you don't even know what you are talking about. why don't you study the "unequally" yoked topic. do a little research.
---shira4368 on 5/7/13


francis, it seems the woman you mentioned was kidnapped and was in a forced relationship. don't tell me to read my bible, you better read yours. you have a non biblical explanation for everything especially the law.
---shira4368 on 5/7/13


--shira4368 on 5/6/13
READ YOUR BIBLE

Deuteronomy 21:10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,
And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife, ... and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.

Does this sound like the woman and the man has same beliefs at all, or even believe in the same God?
---francis on 5/7/13


francis, marrying someone who's fundamental beliefs are different from yours, that is unequally yoked. God has given us many boundaries and that is just one of them.
---shira4368 on 5/6/13


---shira4368 on 5/4/13
The bible does not advise that when two people are married, one is christain the other is not that they get divorced

There is a war time law that allows men of Israel to take women who are captives, as wives even if they are not Israelites

one is unequaly yoked when sin is pr4esent in your life as a result of the union, be it with a boss or with a mate
So being married to one who is not of the smae faith is not nessesarily unequaly yoked

Then also consider how many people hace work contracts and are parterns in business with those of other beliefs
---francis on 5/6/13




francis, you give yourself too much credit. since you know everything especially about the law in regards to being unequally yoked, tell me.
---shira4368 on 5/4/13


Oh yes it says not to be unequally yoked.
---Shira4368 on 5/1/13

I am not sure that you know what unequally yoked means


Deuteronomy 21:10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,

Deuteronomy 21:11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife,

Genesis 41:45 And Pharaoh called Joseph's name Zaphnathpaaneah, and he gave him to wife Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On.
---francis on 5/4/13


Oh yes it says not to be unequally yoked. It says to love your neighbor as thyself. It tells us we are to be a good testimony to everyone but it does not say we have to learn another denomination.
---Shira4368 on 5/1/13


francis, no where it is written for a girl friend or boyfriend to learn the others faith.
---shira4368 on 4/29/13
stand down you are baptist you don't know what the bible says


1 Corinthians 9:20 And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews, to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law,

1 Corinthians 9:21 To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.

1 Corinthians 9:22 To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all [men], that I might by all means save some.
---francis on 5/1/13


francis, no where it is written for a girl friend or boyfriend to learn the others faith. when I married he was not a Christian. I was in a Godly home and married into the family from hell. my life was quite miserable until he was saved 50 years after we were married. my life is an example of not ever getting married to an unsaved person.
---shira4368 on 4/29/13


Dating anyone not of your religion, must first require and understanding of his religion, although not an acceptance of it, but acceptance of him.

It stands to reason that if you are dating someone from the east, that there is a good chance that he has not being introduced to Christianity except by the misdeeds of Christians in the war theatre

An understanding of why you believe that the bible is true is the very first step, even before why you believe that Jesus is the messiah
---francis on 4/29/13


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One of the keys to winning men to Christ, or being fishers of men, are Godly men themselves.

If you are involved with a none christian man, allow him to socialize with some of the manly Godly men of the church.

Men who are hunters, fishermen, you know rugged outdoors men who also are men of God. Men who will help a woman in need, and still around discussing scripture.
---francis on 4/21/13


Let me add a word of wisdom to you, and all other female dating none christian men:

It is very possible, i dare say easy to win these men over to God
Step 1: Watch your language
Do not ask any non-christian men to "love Jesus!" Ask him to partner with, covenant with, follow after Jesus, but not love uh uh, no way, no how

2: ALL Men of God are 2nd amendment Christians. they are MEN. Find a church where the men are still men 2nd AMENDMENT MEN!!!

3: Great men of the Bible:
1: Joshua
2: King Saul
3: King David

Talk with your men about these man
---francis on 4/20/13


---leenell_jackson on 4/15/13
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
1 John 4:11 if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

Explain to your boyfriend what love means to you a chriztian.

Love in having the best interest of another person at heart, with the ultimate goal of salvation

If the goal is not salvation is is not love

Then ask him to take sme online bible studies with you, one day a week just the two of you

free bible studies at amazingfacts

you do not have to break up unless he refuses
---francis on 4/17/13


Matthew 12:35 "A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things."

Luke 8:15 "But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience."

Matthew 24:43 "But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up."

2 Peter 1 advices on seeking virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness and charity. Those are never far from an honest and good heart.
---Nana on 4/16/13


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Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers.

If you knew that he was not a Christian when you first dated him you created the problem but if you have recently found out (which is unlikely - we usually have ways of recognising fellow believers) then I feel that you must explain to him that you cannot continue seeing him a.s.a.p..

I did this when I was 22 and I knew in advance that he was not a Christian. I dug myself into a hole which was difficult to get out of but when I did he just said "I knew this day would come and you are quite right to stop seeing me"

It could have been much worse and it might not happen quite as easily as that for you but you should do it nevertheless. God will give you peace about it then.
---Rita_H on 4/16/13


You may think it hurts now, wait until you get married and you have kids. The Bible is very clear about a Christian marrying a non-Christian, and as a marriage counselor I know this is true even now.

2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV)
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
---wivv on 4/16/13


The Moderator is correct. It will be 2 or 3 knives later.
I dated a man last year for about 2 months. We eat out and talked on the phone for hours.
But, he wasn't practicing his faith. He was kind, good looking and gentle.
But, I prayed to God to please stop our gathering together if He isn't pleased.
After a week, the man stop calling me for days. But would come back after 10 days. He had poor excuses for not speaking to me. I cried for 2 days. But, to my surprise I didn't care for him anymore after the 3rd day.
God help me. I prayed to God and He answered me. He is great.
---Nikki on 4/16/13


Leenell, I will just tell you my experience from the past when I dated a non-Christian girl.While I could just say we were 'just going out for a meal together' it seemed innocent, but we got closer.Neither of us wanted to break up, so I tried not to get too close to her, and the 'mess' lasted over a year, just because I was too timid to break up myself

In the end, after I think it was 15 months, she gave up on me, I was crying for over a week, sending her letters of apology because I knew it was all my fault..

If you know you should not, it is better to stop now

Sorry, because I know what I am saying is painful, it's just that I know that the alternative will be even worse

Blessings
Peter9556, from Greece
---Peter9556 on 4/15/13


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You may be aware of how quite a number of people have fallen in love with abusers, and some number of church leaders have ordained predators, and did not have a clue. So . . . someone acting kind and talking smart religion does not prove the person should be trusted.

Now, you may not be good at knowing real people from not real, but at least this time you know he's an unbeliever.

But we need to become able to tell the difference with Christians, also . . . no matter how they act. So, if you can be fooled together with him . . . you need to become able to tell who is really of God's love.
---willie_c: on 4/15/13


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