Christian But Wife Is Not
I feel an unusual distance from my wife (who is not Christian, I became a Christian after I got married, but that was not a problem before).
But now she seems not to want to communicate with me oven almost anything, and it is greatly bothering me.
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---Peter9556 on 5/14/13
Helpful Blog Vote (6)
Peter, when things like this happens to us, it becomes the biggest thing in our lives. You wake up and go to sleep thinking about her. I know the feeling. people can talk to you and you won't hear. You have to understand that you cannot change her, you cannot make her feel what you feel, or make her believe what you believe. She is her own person. Things you should not do,
You should stop talking to her about it. The more you talk the worse things get.
You should never beg her. The more you do, the more powerful she gets.
You should not tell her to read the Bible. She will dispise you for that. Things you should do,
pray for her,
Keep loving her, be patient
and depend on God to change her and you. Sometimes that takes time.
---Mark_V. on 5/30/13|
Francis: I hope that I have not been unkind to my wife, though I fear that all people when we speak will unconsciously say things in a way that makes us look better than we are - sorry.
Mark V: Yes, talking at a quiet time will be good, though I do not feel she is as concerned about it as I am, so I am worried that she will feel 'pushed' to talk about something she does not want to talk about?
---Peter9556 on 5/29/13|
Proverbs 18:17 He that is first in his own cause seemeth just, but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.
People come here sayinghow bad thier spouse is. If we heard from the spouse it would be a different matter
---francis on 5/27/13|
Bro. Peter, I'm so sorry to hear what your going through. There is no telling what changed your wife's attitude. It's easy to assume but you might be completely wrong. Here is the time when we trust in God more then ever. When we go through the worst in our lives. All you can do right now is pray and be loving to her in anyway you can. If something terrible is going to happen ahead, it is nothing you can do to change it. If she made up her mind about something, you will not be able to change her mind. I have been there and done that. Put your trust in God, keep her in your prayers. In the mean time allow God to change you, so that you can become the husband God wants you to be.
---Mark_V. on 5/27/13|
thanks for all the prayers. prayer is powerful and I thank God for praying Christians.
---shira4368 on 5/19/13|
Set down with her, (make sure you to it at a time when both of you will have no interruptions), and tell her how you feel and WRITE down in a list what are her's and your concerns. Than go over the list again, one point at a time and discuss with her, what is causing this problem and what can be done to solve it. (Just make sure you don't compromise your own Christian convictions.) You can start the conversation,(if you need to) be stating that the communication seems affected and you are concerned about this. If she is reluctant to start the conversation, you start it by expressing what you feel is hindering your communication.(But only start the conversation if she doesn't since she may bring them up herself.)
---wivv on 5/19/13|
I need prayers for both of them and their precious son who is 11.
---shira4368 on 5/17/13
Sorry about your pain, no one should go through a divorce, it is not the plan of God
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family
---francis on 5/19/13|
Shira: my heart aches with you for your grandson. I'll be praying.
---Grandma on 5/17/13|
my son and his wife signed divorce papers today. she wanted it because she didn't love him or need him anymore. after 13 yrs a family torn apart. both have done things that were not right. I need prayers for both of them and their precious son who is 11.
---shira4368 on 5/17/13|
Peter9556, do you think your wife might have depression?
Peter, if you can live on less pay, then sometimes you have to do what is best for your marriage.
From only hearing your side, it seems your Wife doesn't want to improve your situation.
Can she move closer to you?
Peter, I say this all the gentleness. Make sure there isn't another man.
You can't drive. You are away 5 days out of the week. If I am not mistaken, I thought you also stated in another blog state she ignores you when you are away.
I pray it isn't someone else, but you have to FIGHT for your marriage.
If it someone else, it doesn't mean the end of your marriage.
Please get private counseling to voice all of the problems.
I am praying for you.
---Nikki on 5/16/13|
peter, there is a song called meet in the middle by diamond rio. we were in the military for 23 years so I know what its like to be apart and I was alone for many days and nights. just go get her and take her to where you are. that is her responsibility.
---shira4368 on 5/16/13|
Nikki, my wife may feel betrayed, though I feel she more just feels left alone.
The left alone is worse because a years ago, my job was moved about 100miles away, and as for medical reasons I'm not allowed to drive, we agreed that I would be away Mon-Fri and come back for the weekend
But I can see she is not happy - but she also refuses that I find another job, because she feels this job pay better, and my explanations that we can get by on less have not helped....
So I feel stuck
---Peter9556 on 5/16/13|
An elder in the church I used to attend had an unbelieving wife. She attended church regularly as did their childen but remained unsaved. Much pressure was put on her to 'commit' and one day she 'was saved' (or so everyone was told). It was a sham because 'the church' wanted the wife of the elder to be saved.
Just pray for your wife so that, when it happens, it will be genuine. This woman should not have been pessured into faking something so important. She is one of the nicest people I've known but is still unsaved years later.
---Rita_H on 5/14/13|
Peter, I feel for you. Your wife feels betrayed that you became a Christian after the marriage.(even if she won't admit it). You are getting the silence treatment as one of our best talent.
Make her feel special. She thinks she is in competition with God.
Plus, non-Christians do not like Christians because they feel like they are being judged.
Let go. Don't let go of her. Faith comes from God. Pray and talk about her conversion only to God.
Remember God's punishment to women in the garden. She will come around. Months or years?
You being faithful to God will rub off.
I love your answer to the lady wanting to get a divorce.
Staying in the marriage is love itself.
Join a GOOD CHRISTIAN MEN'S GROUP. ONLY MEN!
---Nikki on 5/14/13|
And now you have us communicating with God, in prayer for you, Peter.
Well, I would say appreciate however she does share with you, and maybe show her how greatly you do appreciate her communicating with you. Be ready to build and create with whatever you do have, now.
After all, whatever you have had, before, could have not been really showing what she was really feeling and thinking.
It does seem that a lot of people who get married do not know each other. So . . . trust God that you could actually get to know one another and get into love together?
---willie_c: on 5/14/13|
Peter9566, "But, to the rest speak I (Apostle Paul), not the LORD: If any Brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away...the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband...But, if the unbelieving depart, let him (or her) depart. A Brother or a Sister is not under bondage in such cases: but, GOD hath called us to Peace...how knoweth thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife...?", I CORINTHIANS 7:12-16. So, it is possible that if the unbelieving wife is content to dwell with her believing husband, the husband sanctifies the home and his influence could lead her to Salvation. If she is discontented, she is free to leave. That's Bible.
---Gordon on 5/14/13|
Just keep loving her like Jesus loves you and pray that the Holy Spirit will speak to her on your behalf that she would feel the presence of Jesus and surrender to him. 1 corinthians 7 12-16.
---Scott1 on 5/14/13|