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Divorce The Back Slidden

I am a Christian who's been married for 5 years. My wife cheated in 2010 and is completely back slidden, won't go to church and hates when I talk about God. I want to divorce and marry a good Christian woman who's boys have no Father figure in their life. I would leave her with bills she cannot pay.

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 ---needing_advisors on 7/13/13
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God hates divorce. "If an unbeliever wishes to stay, let them stay." When you promised her for better or worse, I am assuming you meant it. I also assume you are living to please God instead of yourself. I would question the relationship you now have with this "godly" woman, who, I am guessing, has taken it upon herself to be your escape, instead of encouraging you to lean on God and do what He wants. But, then again, I don't expect much from anyone, even Christians. The point is, I am sorry for your pain and the darkness that is now happening to you, but what you and the world need are not another Christian that did what was easy, but one that did what was right, come what may.
---caleb8446 on 1/21/14


I don't usually bother with WHINING issues, but if you've been married for five years (2009/2008), and she cheated on such a great husband as you within 2 years, then what were you doing wrong that inspired her to be unfaithful?. Don't be so quick to play innocent (you are THE MAN of the house) and request sympathy from others (what is the WHOLE STORY?).

I had parents that divorced (the SET of parents broke up,...meaning that I never should have been born, I shouldn't exist).

Statistics are that most children of divorced parents suffer a DEPRESSION into adulthood and even BEYOND ADULTHOOD.

YOU oh great christian VICTIM care NOTHING about your CHILDREN (or else you would be expressing the highest sympathy for THEM).
---faithforfaith on 1/21/14


What kind of father figure leaves his wife to marry another woman?

What have YOU done to try to restore your marriage?

It is your responsibility to love your wife as Christ loved His Church. When did you meet the good Christian woman? How long have you known her?

Have you tried marriage counseling? If your wife won't go with you, why don't you go alone?
---Ms._G on 7/22/13


---needing_advisors on 7/13/13
Sin has consequences, the consequence for adultery may be being divorced, and being left with bills you cannot pay

Also your are already interested in another female, who has sons. No father figure does not mean no father.

get divorced because you NEED to get divorced, not because you want to marry another!!!
---francis on 7/21/13


//I found it amazing that this man thinks that he will be leaving his wife with bills she cannot pay. Wondering if he has any idea what he will end up paying in a divorce.//
---KarenD on 7/17/13

Revenge is a dish best served cold. klingon proverb. Sounds good at first but hate comes back to haunt you.
---Scott1 on 7/19/13




Needing Advisors: Look, on the one side you COULD say that the fact you wife cheated on you could be classed as a Christian reason for divorce......

BUT

The second part of your blog is more iffy. If you just said you felt that because you wife had cheated on you and you could not bear it any more, I would understand.

But the way you write it, it sounds more like you just want to move from one marriage to another

This is not DIRECTLY condemned in scripture, but the way of thinking does not seem appropriate

A Christian needs more than anything else to constider WHY he is doing things, and the way you write this I am unsure that it is being done for really good reasons

I do hope you can sort this out well
---Peter9556 on 7/18/13


needing_advisors...I read this question again. I found it amazing that this man thinks that he will be leaving his wife with bills she cannot pay. Wondering if he has any idea what he will end up paying in a divorce.
---KarenD on 7/17/13


about others telling you how she feels > you can always find people to agree with you.

"Test all things, hold fast what is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

Right now, test yourself and your situation, for all the good that is possible with God. Consider how those brothers betrayed Joseph into slavery, but Joseph stayed with God and how God used their evil for His good purpose. So, test for how God uses this.

And I notice how the seven churches each were told pretty much one or a few things for each whole church. A whole church can be right or all can be wrong, together. So, make sure you make sure with God!
---willie_c: on 7/16/13


The first thing you must establish is her relationship with God. If she says she is not a Christian, you may be qualified for a divorce, IF she committed adultery, based on the Bible. Matthew 19:9 (NASB77) "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery ." But, there is also another factor, to leave her with all the bills is not a fair or a Christian thing to do. Plus, to leave her with all the bills, (even if she caused them), would certainly leave a very poor Christian testimony. There is the question of remarriage.
Mark 10:11 (NASB77) And He said to them, " Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her,
---wivv on 7/17/13


The first thing you must establish is her relationship with God. If she says she is not a Christian, you may be qualified for a divorce, IF she committed adultery, based on the Bible. Matthew 19:9 (NASB77) "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery ." But, there is also another factor, to leave her with all the bills is not a fair or a Christian thing to do. Plus, to leave her with all the bills, (even if she caused them), would certainly leave a very poor Christian testimony. There is the question of remarriage.
Mark 10:11 (NASB77) And He said to them, " Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her,
---wivv on 7/16/13




Right now, you can be and do all that our Father desires with you . . . instead of thinking and wishing about where you are not.

Now be that person > "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 3:4)

You can learn how to love, by staying with her. Have you not cheated on our Groom Jesus? > by arguing, complaining, being unforgiving? We all have had our affairs with Satan > Philippians 2:14-16 > by arguing and complaining and being bitter (Colossians 3:19, Ephesians 4:31-32) and losing our temper about not getting our own way.

But God has proven how He is able to succeed with us. God bless you (c: Bill
---willie_c: on 7/16/13


Mark 10:
2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.

3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?

4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.

5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.

6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife,

8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
---A_servant on 7/14/13


needing advisors: you are doing the same thing as your wife did. that means you have committed adultery in your heart already. see your sin is just as big as hers. now go get your wife and level with her and seek the face of God. God is in the healing business and your marriage needs fixing. Jesus told the woman go and sin no more.
---shira4368 on 7/14/13


Sorry if I confused you. I don't think there's a statute of limitations on adultery. I am wondering how much effort was made to get marriage counseling to heal your marriage after you learned that your wife cheated. Was your wife a practicing Christian up till recently?
---Grandma on 7/14/13


\\ For the record I'm convicted that I should not be with my wife anymore, but I don't want to be fooled by my emotions. Does that make sense?\\

The only thing you are being convicted of is what your emotions are wanting you to do.

God HATES divorce. This is in the Bible.

Be reconciled with your wife. As St. Paul said, you may be the salvation of your wife.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 7/14/13


needing...Yes, I understand what you are going through as I have been there as far as the spouse's infidelity. However, this does not give you the right to start mentally shopping for another woman. It is sad that friends (hopefully they are not Christian) are already setting you up for someone else.
---KarenD on 7/14/13


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No not dating Grandma, I haven't shared how I feel to the woman or anyone else till now but I can tell how she feels and others have told me as well. So there's a statute of limitation on divorce for adultery? Does everyone else agree on that? For the record I'm convicted that I should not be with my wife anymore, but I don't want to be fooled by my emotions. Does that make sense?
---needing_advisors on 7/13/13


You say that your wife cheated. If you mean that she committed adultery you DO have scriptural grounds to divorce her. See Matthew 19:9.

However, it is unwise for you to think of being with any other person until a divorce is completely over. If you are seeing this other woman you are leaving yourself open to being accused of committing adultery yourself and could come out of all this looking as if it were you who cheated on your wife.

Pray about this and seek God's will for your life and pray for your wife also, particularly that she be reconciled to God and return to church.
---Rita_H on 7/13/13


According to St. Paul's words in 1 Corinthians, she might have right to leave you, but you do not have the right initiate divorcing and remarry.

Remember when you got married and you promised God, "For better or worse?" Did you think you could break your promise to God if you didn't like the way things got worse?

Remember, you fail God every day, yet He forgives you and takes you back. Are you not willing to show the same mercy to your wife?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 7/13/13


needings_advisors...Only one advise is the true answer to your question. You are committing adultery in your heart if you are already lusting after this other woman. According to Jesus you are already as guilty as your wife.
---KarenD on 7/13/13


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Are you dating this good Christian woman? If so, she's not such a good Christian, and neither are you. You're being a hypocrite dating another woman while married.

Get your own Spiritual life in order, and seek the Lord's will for your life.

If you were going to divorce your wife for her adultery, you should have done it a lot sooner than now.
---Grandma on 7/13/13


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