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Marry Doesn't Feel Right

I was married once, and my husband, though a Christian, left me and then divorced me.

Four years ago I remarried, but now it doesn't feel right. What do I do?

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 ---Mina on 11/25/13
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Mina: God knows about the remaining doubts or confusion that lingers in your mind. Please continue discussing your mind with the Lord until HE clears everything for you.
---Adetunji on 12/11/13


Mina, what is past is past, you cannot change it. Everyone feels that they could have done things much different in life, but we cannot change what has already happen. You should be looking ahead, and the blessings you already have. your lucky you even have a husband when many women don't. Maybe someone has been kind to you outside of marriage, and you feel that you made a mistake, because that person treats you different then your husband. And you regret you ever got married. No matter the reasons, put your faith in the Lord, trust in Him, and your life will be full of joy. Even if you do not feel Him close to you, be assure He is always with you. That is a promise from God. He will never leave you. That should bring joy to you.
---Mark_V. on 12/10/13


Adetunji, when I have prayed about it, I have never felt a condemnation of any sense, but neither have I really felt a direct feeling of a definite support - a feeling of some acceptance of some nature I feel after praying about it, but never a direct understanding that there I made no mistake in remarrying....

I am just a bit confused, but thank you for all your good advice
---Mina on 12/9/13


Mima: Humanly speaking, you are OK. But you can sincerely ask God to show you what HE feels about your situation. HE is a gentle Father who speaks to His children. No man can tell what HE feels about you until HE reveals it Himself to you or through whoever HE wills.
---Adetunji on 12/9/13


Adetunji: I had that feeling, but I posted this thing because I was not sure about it......

In some way I felt that while I did not divorce him, maybe at least I made a mistake in remarrying.

It may have been me getting over concerned, of course

But I wanted to check I did not do something silly in the process.

My current marriage is fine, but every so often I have this feeling of 'maybe God would have been more pleased if I had not remarried?'.
---Mina on 12/8/13




Mina: If I understands this situation well. Mr.A married Miss B, then Mr.A divorced Mrs. BA(without issue of adultery on the part of Mrs.BA). Ms.B is not under any bondage to Mr.A anymore. Now Mrs B married Mr. C and things do not feel right presently. The best thing to do in my opinion is to commit the situation unto the Lord in prayer, and pray for the improvement of the 2nd marriage. Do not look back, look forward with your focus on the Lord Matt.14:28-30.
---Adetunji on 12/6/13


the one that ask for divorce (except on basis of adultery) demonstrates lack of faith in God to solve the marital issues & with reference to 1 COR.7:15 can be regarded as an unbeliever.
---Adetunji on 12/1/13\\

The question was not about the past, but about what to do now.

Or do you say that the past affects what can or should be done now - perhaps you would say it does, but....
---Mina on 12/5/13


Mina and Adetunji:

I was actually making a joke. Somewhat reminiscent of a famous saying from W. C. Fields (who was a notorious drunk), who once said "Everybody needs something to believe in... I believe i'll have another drink!".
---StrongAxe on 12/5/13


Cluny: In my opinion, Yes.
---Adetunji on 12/5/13


\\the one that ask for divorce (except on basis of adultery) demonstrates lack of faith in God to solve the marital issues & with reference to 1 COR.7:15 can be regarded as an unbeliever.
---Adetunji on 12/1/13\\

Can he?

Glory to jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 12/5/13




aka, scroll down to my earlier post and see that Peter signs it but answers as Mina !
---1st_cliff on 12/4/13


Wow. This blog sure puts what we perceive as 'christian' and deception in perspective.

Mina-Peter...lol.

especially the time and thought we put into it.

does anybody really know what time it is?
---aka on 12/4/13


StrongAxe: Thanks for answering the question Cluny asked. From my little understanding , the one that ask for divorce (except on basis of adultery) demonstrates lack of faith in God to solve the marital issues & with reference to 1 COR.7:15 can be regarded as an unbeliever.
---Adetunji on 12/1/13


It appears to me that Mina and Peter are the same person.
Am I right?
---1st_cliff on 12/1/13


StrongAxe: You commented 'What if one says "I don't believe this marriage can work" - he's technically an "unbeliever" :)'

You may feel that way about my ex, and I guess I could feel the same way if I wanted to....

But I did not feel it was right to reject his faith just because he refused to act like a Christian husband

Maybe I should, and say that I married a non-Christian was was acting like a Christian - but that also did not seem right to me.
---Mina on 11/29/13


Cluny: on the 28th of November you wrote back to Mina in a message that seemed a bit unpleasant, telling her something that was hard to understand.

Her point was that while there was a 'curse' for the husband who divorced her, there was less guidance for her as to what she should do now
---Peter on 11/29/13


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Cluny:

You asked: And how does this apply when BOTH are Christians?

What if one says "I don't believe this marriage can work" - he's technically an "unbeliever" :)
---StrongAxe on 11/29/13


\\(2) 1 Cor.7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
---Adetunji on 11/29/13\\

And how does this apply when BOTH are Christians?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/29/13


Mina: (1) As Cluny had already told you, God is not partial, some verses applies to both genders though the masculine pronoun may be used therein. (2) 1 Cor.7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
---Adetunji on 11/29/13


\\In the Sermon on the Mount there are many accusations for the person who divorces his wife without reason, but no guide for what the wife should do then!\\

Women who have enough sense to be Christians should have enough sense to apply the "male" passages of the Bible to themselves.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/28/13


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1st_cliff on 11/27/13: I take it you understand why I ask this....

My idea was not that I return to my ex husband - he would not have me back. The question was whether, as Christ says on the Sermon on the Mount, I am now committing adultery because in the past I committed myself to someone else.

It has worried me, even while my marriage is fine, and so I just wonder what to do.

It is just that I do not see a proper solution

But I do not want to say 'I don't see anything better so I won't think about it'

That is why ask all of you about it
---Peter on 11/27/13


Mina, Personally I would continue with a marriage that is already solid.
There's no way of going back to your first husband who is not without blame for abandoning you.
This is your decision ,ask forgiveness and put it behind you and continue to build a Christian marriage.
There's not a person on here who never makes mistakes!
Blessings!
---1st_cliff on 11/27/13


1st Cliff: you ask why my first husband left. He said he felt he had been led to marry me, but now realized he had not been led, so the whole marriage was a mistake.

My point is, if I was divorced, was the best thing to remain unmarried.

I did not understand that then

But now I am married.

Should I do anything now?

In the Sermon on the Mount there are many accusations for the person who divorces his wife without reason, but no guide for what the wife should do then!

Thus I ask for your advice, after making what may well have been a mistaken decision

Should I try to change it? Should I just ask god for His forgiveness? What should I do now?

Blessings from one who is likely in error
---Mina on 11/26/13


Cluny: You are right, of course.

But the point was, those same words were said the first time.

Do the first vows hold me now?

I know my husband left me, so, four years ago when I remarried, I felt the first vows did not hold because my former husband broke the bond of marriage.

But I do not know that he has cheated on me, so I am not sure I really have the right to remarry.

As I said to 1st Cliff the Sermon on the Mount says what the husband is to do, but never what the divorced wife is to do!

Thanks, Cluny
---Mina on 11/26/13


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Maybe someone put you on a guilt trip. If that's the case don't worry about it. God forgives over and over and over.
---shira4368 on 11/26/13


Mina, Four years ago it felt like the right thing to do , how come four years later "it doesn't feel right"?
You don't say why 1st husband left...must have been a reason huh?
---1st_cliff on 11/26/13


Mina. You aren't stuck. You however need to honor your vows unless you are mistreated or abused. if your husband is not saved, you need to pray for him and encourage him in every way.
---Shira4368 on 11/26/13


You're stuck.

You never promised to "feel right," but to love and cherish.

What do you think the words, "Until death us do part" meant, anyway?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/25/13


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