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Raising Another Child

I have an 8 year old little girl that I adopted at birth. I prayed for her for 3 years I remarried and my husband says he is having a hard time raising another child. He finds fault with everything she does. She is a sweet child but his behavior is changing her and making her timid but angry at times.

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 ---Crystal_Constable on 1/12/14
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Unless Crystal comes back and adds more to her original question I think we should all cease commenting on this.

The word abuse is being used by several people here but nowhere does Crystal say that her husband abuses the child. She says "my husband says he is having a hard time raising another child. He finds fault with everything she does" and that might not be good for the child but is not the same as abuse - unless you have a different use of the word abuse in America from our use of the word in the U.K.

We need clarity on this and if we don't receive any should keep silent.
---Rita_H on 4/28/14


\\aka and Cluny Thank you both but I read the Blog correctly,I understand it is the husband who is abusing the girl but what you must have not realized from the Blog is that the mother enabled it by staying and keeping a child in a situation she can't get herself out of and that makes the mother an abuser too. \\

Wrong again, as in everything you say, Darlene.

If the child's mother can't extricate herself from the situation, as you admit, she's not responsible for it.

See how much discernment your getting slain in the spirit gives you?

Christ is risen.
---Cluny on 4/28/14


catherine...The Lord did not tell you to say such a thing.

Crystal...Sounds to me like you are starting to find reasons to get out of this marriage. This is the only post I will put on this question. I do not keep on discussing something when the original poster doesn't respond.
---KarenD on 1/21/14


I say you all have a problem! Some would say find the Lord. I do not believe in being religious. Try to get some outside help. The Lord told me to say this.
---catherine on 1/21/14


Crystal, I believe that this problem you are having should be brought out with him. Put your faith in God and then ask him that you want both of you to seek counseling. It is very important for both to go not just you.
You need to know why he is having trouble with her and why he is finding fault on everything she does. You both are responsible for her life. God has put both of you in charge of her. Put her first before anything. Do not worry you might lose him because you are looking for her well being. She needs you a whole lot, more then he needs you.
---Mark_V. on 1/16/14




I don't see the word abuse in the original question. It says that the husband is 'having a hard time raising another child'.

Finding fault is not good for the child but does not necessarily become ABUSE. We don't know enough to really comment but abuse might be too strong a word here. It's sad that the husband did not say he did not want to raise someone else's child from the beginning. Having just one parent is better than having two where one does not want the child.

Maybe counselling would help the father.
---Rita_H on 1/14/14


aka thanks but thats ok,ha ha,we do things like that. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 1/14/14


Darlene, my initial response was a response to crystal: "Reread darlene 1 and act now."

sorry for not being clear.
---aka on 1/13/14


Why specify that the girl is adopted?
---KarenD on 1/13/14


aka and Cluny Thank you both but I read the Blog correctly,I understand it is the husband who is abusing the girl but what you must have not realized from the Blog is that the mother enabled it by staying and keeping a child in a situation she can't get herself out of and that makes the mother an abuser too. When the parent of an abused child stays with the abuser then that parent becomes an accessory to the abuse. When a parent doesn't stop the abuse or get her child out of it then she too becomes the child's abuser. That leaves a child with no one to turn to and no where to go. God gave even the wild animals the instinct to protect their young and he would expect the same or better from humans. Blessingas
---Darlene_1 on 1/13/14




Reread darlene 1 and act now.
---aka on 1/13/14


No, Darlene. Crystal's HUSBAND is the one abusing the child.

Crystal, did you have a really deep conversation with your husband about his raising a stepchild?

Serious counselling is in order. You HUSBAND is the one with the problem, not you.

Christ is baptized!
---Cluny on 1/13/14


Your husband has let you know how difficult it is for him to raise another child and is abusing your child but it is you who are the abuser because you force her to live with him. You admit he is ruining this childs life and making her angry and yet you want to "fix" things instead of protecting your child. That child is in the pits of emotional hell,and can't help herself,its up to you to get her out of it. Your first responsibility is to your child. Take her and get out,protect her from the abuse she is going through. A mothers first duty is to love her child and therefore to move heaven and earth to protect her and that does include getting her away from her abuser. She is sweet now but there will come a day she hates you.
---Darlene_1 on 1/13/14


When you decided to get married he should have accepted you as a package. It is not right for him to treat your daughter that way . This can ruin her emotionally. You married him, but maybe you should remind him by marrying you he was accepting her as his daughter too.Would he treat his natural daughter this way? Probably not.
---Maidon_Marion on 1/12/14


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