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My Husband Was Offended

My husband was offended by someone in our congregation and refuses to attend the Passover service because this person will be there. Should I attend without him or stay home and partake of the bread and wine with my husband? We do this only once a year so it is very important.

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 ---Simone_G on 4/8/14
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To Shira4368,My Sister that's quite a wonderfull testimony,wow! He really changed,love the Lord..God bless his soul. Thankyou,for sharing with us.love agape
Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 6/11/14


My husband wouldn't go with me to church for years but I kept going alone then he was saved and you couldn't keep him away.
---shira4368 on 5/28/14


Dear Simone,
There is no reason why you should not attend without your husband. If he doesn't want to attend, then he shouldn't. I believe what is more important for him is his feelings towards this person, and has forgotten what is more important. Your husband has his rights. Do not try to make him do what he does not want to do. If you do the bread and wine once a year do not miss it. It is better to be among other brothers and sisters when you do communion, but it is also ok to do it at home. Agape
---Luke on 5/25/14


I attended a Home Prayer Meeting for years one night a week. I was the Praise and Worship leader,we also had Bible reading. Our main purpose was praying for those who were sick,anointing them with oil and following the Bible guide for it and also needs of those and others who weren't there. God moved in a mighty way all the time unless the unity was broken by some man or woman who wanted to have more control in the meeting. We gave God the control and followed His leading. That kind of person who put self before God didn't have the move of God like those who surrendered all to God and didn't last long. Rita Yes God is with us any time we invite Him to be. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 5/20/14


Darlene 1, when my children were young their father worked away from home quite often and I didn't drive. Church was not close and in bad weather we stayed home and had a 'service' in the house. We sang hymns and choruses, the children did readings and said a little prayer and we had a 'talk' about Jesus - all of us having a little input in that.

We don't have to cease Sunday worship because the man of house is not present. As you said, we were gathered together in God's name. Our house became HIS house for that hour and the children gained much from that.
---Rita_H on 5/13/14




Simone, Satan will use every means possible to keep us out of church. You cannot force your husband to go but he cannot force you NOT to go so whenever something like this happens I suggest you go without him.

Satan is using your husband to get at you also. Don't allow this and tell your husband that you won't allow this and that he should not be allowing it either.

He should go regardless of how many people have offended him. He goes (or should go) to worship God not to worry about what others feel about him.
---Rita_H on 5/13/14


Dear Darline,
Both of your answers are right on. We do not have to be in church for Christ to be with us, He is with us always. We are commanded to gather together to help each other. And that can happen anywhere, any place, any time. We are not restricted by any laws anymore. Thank you so much for your comments, agape
---Luke on 5/7/14


Darlene, I can relate to your comment about not being able to go to church. For the past 4 years I've missed a lot of church. My husband was not saved at that time. I've had pneumonia 6 times between 2005 until 2011. Scars on my lungs hinders my breathing. I'm on oxygen a lot. I can tell when I miss church my spiritually life lacks. I take anti biotics every day I live. today I feel great and can't wait to be in church today. The girls I use to sing with called me last night and wants me to sing with them today. Accappella " Jesus Savior pilot me"
---shira4368 on 5/4/14


Simone, sounds like your husband is still on the milk. My sister wouldn't go with me to church because of hypocrits. If I didn't go to church because hypocrits go, I would never go. I'm not letting anyone keep me out of church.
---shira4368 on 5/3/14


Welcome to the world of fallen man. Is your husband perfect. Cause the last perfect person I know of, they crucified him. So he gets a little offended. Oh well.
---Bryan on 5/3/14




Ask your husband this question: would he quit his job if someone at work offended him?

Your question reads like your husband has to eyes focused in the wrong direction. If he is focused on Christ, being offended by someone in the church should not bother him. But,if it does, I would suggest he talk to the person who offended him, (in private). If that brings no positive results, see if the pastor will mediate. If that doesn't work, take it to the deacons or leaders of your church and let them mediate.

Talk to the person first, because it has been my experience that what was said may have been taken out of context and the only way to solve the problem is with the direct, but nice, approach.
---wivv on 4/14/14


Adetunji Thank you for your input. This goes back to the Bible verse,where two or three are gathered there I am in the midst. Two gathered and God is in the midst of them just like He is in a large church,you don't have to be in an organized church to have church with God's Spirit just as present and strong as when many come together,I know that from personal experience. God wants our obedience where ever we are and He is with each person and if a couple are taking the Bread and Wine at home it is just as meaningful. God is always with us even to the end of time even when we are alone and if we minister to Him He will minister to us He won't wait until we are in an organized church. I know you know that because you love God. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 4/10/14


Cluny now you are changing the subject we were talking about two people taking the bread and wine at home by themselves. Now you bring in that he shouldn't take it because he is offended those are quite different. We all know that we must forgive and have nothing against anyone in anger before we take it. That wasn't the question that was asked. Cluny I spent many years thinking I had to be at church for all services and to help and work in many things because frankly in my ignorance I thought it was the Christian thing to do. Thank God He showed my loyalty should be with God yes but to my husband before many things at church. Boy did I have to repent for meaning well but being blind.
---Darlene_1 on 4/10/14


Darlene_1: An husband & his wife makes a couple, starts a family. I do not think that a couple on their own is a church.
---Adetunji on 4/10/14


"Since husband and wife are ONE person in God's sight, they cannot do Communion by themselves."

Wow!! I'd like to see the Bible reference to this statement.

I'll accept the KJV, NKJV, NIV, a DIVA, a reference in Readers Digest or even Mad Magazine.

You were kidding, right?

Since when is a mate restricted from the Lord's Table when the other is in sin? This concept is not taught by Scripture.

We are to examine ourselves at this time not each other.
---Elder on 4/10/14


Cluny "Since husband and wife are ONE person in God's sight, they cannot do Communion by themselves." Please point me to the scriptures for that. I've never heard that before.
---Rita_H on 4/10/14


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\\Cluny LOL you are really reaching for something to make you right,but you're not.\\

You don't actually think that YOU are right, do you?

For this husband to try to take communion anywhere when he is offended by someone is a sin.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 4/10/14


Cluny LOL you are really reaching for something to make you right,but you're not. A man and woman become one flesh but that doesn't mean they are only one person in God's eyes,quite the contrary. If that were true then only one of a married couple would have to repent of their sins and ask forgiveness then both would be saved and we all know that every person must come to God himself and repent and ask God for forgiveness. Deuteronomy 24:16 :every man shall be put to death for his own sin. Although this verse is with others referring to father and children it is true for every person. Just because we marry doesn't mean in God's eyes we stop being a person by ourselves.
---Darlene_1 on 4/10/14


If we have something against another person and are not doing anything to put matters right we should not take communion. We each need to get right with God and lay issues aside before we take the bread and the wine.

Your husband's refusal to attend does not mean you must stay home. Attend on your own and leave him answer any questions about this himself.

One person should not be allowed to drag another one down.
---Rita_H on 4/10/14


Since husband and wife are ONE person in God's sight, they cannot do Communion by themselves.

Try again.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 4/9/14


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Cluny you say it doesn't prove it to you therefore it seems you are refusing the Word of God that is the only way you could say it doesn't prove God is in the midst of two or three who are gathered in His name when that is Bible. They didn't even have regular church buildings in the beginning and I don't see the difference in gathering to honor God then and gathering in a home now. Oh yes they did meet in people's homes then too. People don't need a pastor,organized churches,or a church building to honor and worship God for the Bible also says that we must worship God in Spirit and in truth. Many traditions taught by different denominations are really weighty chains hung on Gods people that drag them down. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 4/9/14


\\This proves that if the husband and wife come together in Christs name to honor Him they don't have to be in a large gathering or church. \\

No, it doesn't.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 4/9/14


I thank everyone who gave constructive, though conflicting, advice. I agree he needs to apply Matt.18 to the situation, but I cannot force him to do so. My concern about staying home is that I would be enabling him in what I believe to be unbiblical behavior.
1st Cliff, I am not JW. I attend a Sabbath keeping Church of God, which also keeps the annual holy days of God (Lev.23:1-) in their spiritual intent.
---Simone_G on 4/9/14


Cluny Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name,there am I in the midst of them. This proves that if the husband and wife come together in Christs name to honor Him they don't have to be in a large gathering or church. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 4/9/14


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One excuse will work as good as any other.

Has he ever refused to go to the ball game, fishing, bowling or any thing else because someone "offended" him?

Suggest another church to him and see how that works.
---Elder on 4/9/14


Simone_G: though the nature of the offence is unknown, let your husband know Christ's instruction to follow is in Matthew 18: 15-17, palatable or not. This should not hinder you or him from attending church services. Wherever human beings gather offences are never absent, even on ChristiaNet! If someone offends him at his workplace, will that stop him from going to work?
---Adetunji on 4/9/14


Simone, tell your husband to be a Christian man, and get over it. He sounds a bit wimpy!
---Warwick on 4/9/14


Jesus tells us to forgive our enemies up to 70 times 7 times, and that if we don't forgive our enemies, our Father in heaven won't forgive us.

If Jesus says to do one thing, and your husband says to do another, you have to choose which one is more important. It's a hard choice. He did, after all, say that he would break up families - likely for this very reason.
---StrongAxe on 4/9/14


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I would suggest that your husband find a away to forgive him. Forgiving that person will bring peace to you and your husband.
Matt. 5:9
Matt 6:14
---Scott1 on 4/9/14


\\Jesus wasn't in a church when He told the Apostles to drink the wine,its His blood and eat the bread its His flesh.\\

But it WAS in a gathering of believers.

It was not just a couple.

Try again, Darlene.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 4/8/14


Simone g , Sounds very much like JW, yes/no?
---1st_cliff on 4/8/14


Jesus wasn't in a church when He told the Apostles to drink the wine,its His blood and eat the bread its His flesh. Then He told them to do that in memory of Him. You do not have to be in a denominational church to partake of that in memory of Christ and there is no more fitting place than to be with the man you love and who loves you,by all means stay home and set an example to your husband showing him that he comes first before the organized church. A denominational church isn't needed to love Jesus and when you are being one with your husband you are loving him and Christ. Taking the bread and wine isn't a something the church started Jesus did and you are just being obedient.
---Darlene_1 on 4/8/14


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I'm not too sure what you mean by "Passover Service." However, the Eucharist or Communion is an act of the Church, not of individuals or families.

Your husband should make peace with the one who offended him. IT could well be a mutual misunderstanding.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 4/8/14


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