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Wife Attends On Occasion

1. A Methodist minister marries a Salvation Army captain. She retains her membership of the S Army.
2. A Presbyterian minister marries a member of the Methodist Church who also retains her membership of the Meth. church. Wives attend hubbies churches occasionally. Acceptable or not?

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 ---Rita_H on 6/21/14
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Hello,Sis.Rita much respect and I really love you from the bottom.of my heart,always have..my apology wrong name.I can't see good,you know but,feelings the same He's wrong! You like me have med.problems,I'm in my 60's I am honest to tell you I have to sing by memory my sight worse so I can't be search for words but no ashamed to say I had to stop in a song my concentration went bad a brother talking,interupt honest I forgot the words and not ashamed to say I politely sat down,no one laughed or "brawballed me "
They said we love your singing next time,ok don't worry.
No big deal.That Pastor has no.wisdom,no patience at all.like a 3 yr.old..or worse no manners!
Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 6/27/14


Elena, I'm pleased that you are so concerned that a pastor should speak to someone so rudely but it was to me that it was said, not to Shira.

I love to read your sincere and caring posts. You are an inspiration here.
---Rita_H on 6/27/14


sorry cluny to inform you my church is one of the few that isn't dead. The Holy Spirit visits with us every Sunday, some Sundays just more than others. sometimes our pastor don't even get to preach many times.
---shira4368 on 6/26/14


Hello,everyone got a comment for
Sis.Shira4368 concern that pastor who talked to you that's
Just rude tell someone "by now you should know all the words,"especially when you've under gone Cancer treatment!
It's hard to remember much anything! I had a lot of hard times my neighbors did nothing but steal from me. God has been my shield and has helped me remedy the situation. I no longer allow them.much more than."hello!"
now,I'm very alert and don't allow people take advantage of me.It's been lots of prayer and crying out to the Lord.
I thank God for his protection.
Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 6/26/14


\\ it isn't the denominations that are dead, its all the churches. \\

You're word "all" would include your own, shira.

I agree with you, your church is dead.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/26/14




"Cleaning toilets is something I have done many times. That is not serving. That is just normal upkeep."

Wrong...doing anything in the field of normal upkeep is serving God when done in the church setting and without charge. If that person did not do it the church would have to hire someone to do it.

I tend to think that God smiles down on those prepared to do the dirty jobs with a much sweeter smile than He, perhaps, has for those who wish to 'SERVE THE LORD' whilst on show at the same time.

God gave us all different abilities to ensure that ALL would get done. To call one thing 'upkeep' and another 'service to the Lord' is insulting.
---Rita_H on 6/26/14


Shira I know what you mean about a pastor being treated badly but I have seen a 'charismatic' pastor almost destroy several families. He seemed to think that he could force people to speak in tongues, raise their arms when singing choruses etc. and those who did not conform were virtually ostracized. I know this from family members more than personal experience because I left after 3 weeks having been shouted at from the front "Put down that chorus sheet - you've been coming here long enough to know the choruses by heart." They wanted arms free to be held high. They felt that they could order the way a person worships God.

They also wanted to know every detail about members' private home lives, work and income etc.
---Rita_H on 6/26/14


it isn't the denominations that are dead, its all the churches. I watched an on fire church die. God wanted no part of what happened there. a church who treats their pastor bad, that church will surely die. one of my pastor friends was so hurt by 3 churches, it finally killed him. Ive never seen a pastor that was as broken as he was. He never got well. a beautiful church my friend and his wife worked 18 hours a day to build that church. at that time I was to help a lot. my heart was broken for him and his family. he was in his early 50's and died. no he was not sick, had no disease but a broken heart and spirit.
---shira4368 on 6/25/14


RitaH...So true about wanting young pastors today. We are the fifth pastors in ten years. We have been here five years. All the other pastors were younger than us.
---KarenD on 6/25/14


Elder your latest post here is 'spot-on' and needed to be said.

Many churches hire a young minister - thinking that he'll stay longer and they won't need to go through the process again for a long time.

Because they hire a young one there is more likelihood that he will have a family during that time and the wife will be fully occupied in the unpaid post of MUM. That period goes on for a very long time if the children are to have a stable background.

She has her hands full already without running youth club, arranging flowers and serving tea.
---Rita_H on 6/25/14




One thing I have watched over the years is one church will split and start their own church. I know of a baptist preacher would start churches and rake in the money, get the bldgs in his name then desolve the church. My friends dad ask for his land back that he donated for the church and the preacher said sorry, that's mine now.
---shira4368 on 6/25/14


karend, I just responded to what you said about delegating to others different things to do in church. the impression I got was not good. Ive seen churches where the pastor and his wife done everything that is done in a church and I absolutely agree it should not be. everyone should do their part.
---shira4368 on 6/24/14


Maybe some of you folks need to understand that God gave the wife to first minister to her husband and not the church.

Her service in the church is/should be a willing offering to the Lord that benifits the church. This is providing that her main duty to her husband/Pastor is not negelected.

She is the helpmeet to her husband not a mule for things others don't want to do!

A church that tries to "hire" two for the price of one is in error and sin.

Deacons are supposed to preform duties in the church so the Pastor can give himself over to the ministering of the word.

How many do that? Maybe you folks are chasing the wrong rainbow!
---Elder on 6/24/14


Karen, anytime we do anything in the house of God, its service to the Lord. someone has to do it. we have 2 families a week to clean our church. they volunteer.
---shira4368 on 6/24/14


There is a big difference between servant and slave. Cleaning toilets is something I have done many times. That is not serving. That is just normal upkeep. A servant is used in many ways. The Lord has brought me through some trying times which gives me the opportunity to minister to sick and dying people and their grieving families. Being the Childrens Church teacher is a joy. These kinds of things are serving. When people in the church expect the pastor and wife to do everything for them, that is slavery. My husband does all the maintenance and upkeep on the property because he has the skills. We are servants, not slaves.
---KarenD on 6/24/14



Let's see.

KarenD calls two entire historical denominations dead, but gets upset when I suggest that her church may not be all it should be.

Do I understand her correctly?

Jesus had a word for this, and applied to the scribes and Pharisees.

Glory to Jesus Christ!

---Cluny on 6/23/14


Actually, it was I, not KarenD who got upset because you jumped on KarenD for doing exactly what you do everyday on these blogs, which is to bash and discredit other denominations in attempt to make yours seem superior. Yes, Jesus did have a word for that indeed.
---Jed on 6/23/14


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Let's see.

KarenD calls two entire historical denominations dead, but gets upset when I suggest that her church may not be all it should be.

Do I understand her correctly?

Jesus had a word for this, and applied to the scribes and Pharisees.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/23/14


karend, are you trying to tell us a pastors wife is too good to clean the toilets? that is what we call a servant. are you a servant? I would be happy to clean toilets. Ive done it many times.
---shira4368 on 6/23/14


Karen, what can be archaic and dead at the same time? you are too busy attacking people here and nothing you say is nice.
---shira4368 on 6/23/14


\\...Thanks. Cluny is just afraid I will mention his archaic and dead denomination so full of tradition that it cant relate to todays unsaved people.
---KarenD on 6/23/14\\

The Orthodox Church is about relating to God, not to people.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/23/14


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Jed...Thanks. Cluny is just afraid I will mention his archaic and dead denomination so full of tradition that it cant relate to todays unsaved people.
---KarenD on 6/23/14



\\As far as these two examples the denominations mentioned are all pretty well dead churches anyway,\\

So's your church, KarenD. It's dead, too. It merely has a form of godliness.

Now, how does THAT sound to you?

Then don't say it about anyone else again.

Glory to Jesus Christ!

---Cluny on 6/22/14


YOU make derogatory statements about other denominations all the time. And then you deny that your church is a denominational church so that you can bash other denominations. This is the pot calling the kettle black if I've ever seen it.
---Jed on 6/23/14


\\As far as these two examples the denominations mentioned are all pretty well dead churches anyway,\\

So's your church, KarenD. It's dead, too. It merely has a form of godliness.

Now, how does THAT sound to you?

Then don't say it about anyone else again.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/22/14


Many churches seem to be slowly increasing their congregations in certain parts of the U.K. so those denominations which are pretty much dead in some countries seem to be seeing an upsurge here. Not through mass evangelism or any other special outreach but just by the young generations (descendants) of older ones who left some time ago (some of whom are now deceased) seem to have a desire to go back to 'their family church'. Praise God, something is happening.
---Rita_H on 6/22/14


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In most pentecostal denominations this would not be acceptable as the husband and wife are to be a team serving the Lord. As far as these two examples the denominations mentioned are all pretty well dead churches anyway, so it doesn't matter. When we first came to pastor this church they did expect me to be their little slave. But, that soon changed as I know how to delegate and build a team to work together. It has worked very well as about half of the members are active in some form of ministry in the church.
---KarenD on 6/22/14


"Otherwise, the church is tricking the minister and his wife" Yes Peter, that is so and, unfortunately, there are more examples of what you state here than there are of churches making clear that they desire a pastor with a wife willing to take on many 'unpaid' roles.

With many working wives these days the churches are going to find it more difficult to obtain 'two for one' though.

There used to be many damaged 'children of the manse' through having to be virtually brought up by a housekeeper because mum was too busy to give them the attention they needed and should have been receiving.
---Rita_H on 6/22/14


The Methodist lady married 10 years before her husband entered the ministry and did not fully understand the teaching of predestination, at that time, and does not accept it, therefore did not wish to be involved in the ministry of that church but would attend now and again.

They are both recently retired from paid work and compromising still works well for them.
---Rita_H on 6/22/14


Thankyou,Sis.Rita. all respect -you certainly right!
my late husband was not acting as a pastor or much.else,he knew
I would have let.out his can.of worms,so.he was.glad I.never attended.
helped out after years as another church presbyterian some yrs.bk regular there.
Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 6/21/14


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Rita_H: The question you bring up in the blog question (of denomination) is fine - I mean it is fine for a minister to be married to a wife from another denomination. In any case, in reality there is only one denomination - Christian

The other questions, about whether the wife must work at the church with the minister, is different. If, when the church asked for a minister, it makes it clear that it wants his wife to work as well, the couple can discuss this.

Otherwise, the church is tricking the minister and his wife
---Peter on 6/21/14


"I will mention that some churches, mostly Protestant ones, think that when they call a pastor, they get his wife as a free staff member."

A pastor's wife I know very well would not attend the interview of her husband or visit the church or manse until a decision had been made as to whether or not they wished him to be pastor. Then at the first meeting the retiring pastor's wife wanted to tell her just how the women's meeting was run and she stunned this woman by telling her that she had a paid job and would not be running any meetings. Yes they wanted 2 for the price of 1 as this lady already suspected. All are Christians.
---Rita_H on 6/21/14


Are you one of these people involved?

If not, it's not your business.

I will mention that some churches, mostly Protestant ones, think that when they call a pastor, they get his wife as a free staff member.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/21/14


Are they all christians? Are any of them unequally yoked? Do the husbands occasionally attend the wives churches? Are these married couples submitting as husbands & wives to one another. Does the Bible require & support denominationalism?
---Leon on 6/21/14


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Well,my late husband so, extremely
was really not a true pastor, a faker,I have never went to his church..so much drama.
He had a baby with one of his members,she was supposed to be my friend..then long story short he said he was gay,quit the church altogether.
. I left went to.live in another city.
Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 6/21/14


Real quick Sis.Rita,I recall a boss of mine, he was in the episcopal church and his wife was old time pentecostal really strict..they ended up divorce! I went to.visit there sometime,they were really everything expensive,the pastor sold pictures of herself for $150'large or just $55 if you wanted a table top photo.

Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 6/21/14


I say acceptable unless (as I have said on another blog) the couple were employed as a team to both work for that particular church.

I know several couples who attend different denominational churches and just attend together for special events in each others'.

Only in the two mentioned in the question above were the husbands ministers though.

Christian couples are no more 'joined at the hip' than non-Christian couples are and should be allowed their individuality if it works well for them and causes no friction.
---Rita_H on 6/21/14


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