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Am I Really Married

We have been together four years. We had a private ceremony just us two and asked God to join us as man and wife. Are we married in His sight?

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 ---Sammie on 11/4/14
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Micha, I laughed so hard at your last sentence. THANKS

You wrote:"The only thing I see that is an exampled over and over in the Bible is the women being 'given' in marriage usually by the father from Eve on down."

I agree, that's why I gave your very same answer:

Genesis 2:22 When He brought her to the man.

You forgot, that God is Eve Father and did exactly that in your last sentence.
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/25/15


/So if they needed a blessing you better believe this couple does as well.\-Nicole_Lacey on 6/23/15
-So, why are you cursing them then?
/Heck no, you are just trying to convince yourselves you didn't commit a mortal sin or many mortal sins.\
-And what mortal sin(s) did they commit?
/Anyone can use that excuse when they are in the moment.
It's called LUST.\
-Sounds like judgment has been made. All that's left is the execution.
/no Pastors for 500 miles\
And why a pastor?
/Get Married for REAL\-Nicole_Lacey on 6/23/15
-What do you mean by "Real"?
The only thing I see that is exampled over and over in the Bible is the women being "given" in marriage.
Usually by the father, from Eve on down.
---micha9344 on 6/25/15


Micha, God married Adam and Eve. The same words are used during a marriage ceremony. 'Brings these two together'
Genesis 2:22
When He brought her to the man,..

Or Genesis 1:28
God blessed them saying:"Be fertile and multiply, (only one way to multiply)"

So in other words Adam and Eve did not come together without a blessing.

The couple above were not alone on earth as Adam and Eve. So if they needed a blessing you better believe this couple does as well.
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/23/15


Who married Adam and Eve?
Who was the first person to perform a marriage ceremony?
When did God give that job to mankind?
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
If their commitment was before God, why are some here trying to put it asunder(separate it) as if it wasn't of God?
---micha9344 on 6/23/15


Heck no, you are just trying to convince yourselves you didn't commit a mortal sin or many mortal sins.

Anyone can use that excuse when they are in the moment.
It's called LUST.

Unless you live in a isolated area and no Pastors for 500 miles and 5 years, then I can see the private ceremony.

Get Married for REAL
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/23/15




You are ONE in FLESH.-aaron on 6/22/15
Agreed.
So, why not be married in man's eyes as well?
Wouldn't God also be pleased with following the laws of the land that didn't go against His glory?
Official with God and official with man are two different things, but they don't have to be and aren't necessarily diametrically opposed.
---micha9344 on 6/23/15


You are ONE in FLESH.
---aaron on 6/22/15


Trav:

You said: Mr marriage advisor...who doesn't admit if he is married or isn't... or to a male or female.

Marriage advisors offer their opinions on specific people's marriages. I am not making comments about anyone else's particular marriages. I am also not offering my opinions on anything, because they are not relevant. I am stating things that are provably true about what the Bible says or doesn't say about this subject (and, at other times, on other subjects).
---StrongAxe on 5/8/15


There is nothing in the Bible that records any specific formula for a marriage ceremony.
---StrongAxe on 4/30/15
Mr marriage advisor...who doesn't admit if he is married or isn't... or to a male or female.---Trav on 5/1/15

Now, WHAT'S YOUR AGE? ---Nicole_Lacey on 5/6/15

Hunny bunny, old enough to be ur daddy......--Trav on 5/7/15

Asking for your age means you return with a number as I did with you.

Example: 67, 63, 59, 49.
Any combination of numbers between 0-9

All that writing and you still didn't answer my question.

Now you know why I accuse you of jumping.
---Nicole_Lacey on 5/7/15


In Genesis chapter 38, Tamar is first described as marrying Judah's eldest son, Er. Because of his wickedness, Er was killed by God. By way of a Levirate union, Judah asked his second son, Onan, to provide offspring for Tamar so that the family line might continue, with any son born deemed the heir of the deceased Er, and able to claim the firstborn's double share of inheritance. However, if Er was childless, Onan would inherit as the oldest surviving son.

There was nothing evil about Tamar. Judah did not give his last son to Tamar as he should have, and Tamar tricked Judah, where Tamar conceived, giving Judah twins. Tamar was not sent back to her father because she was found .......??????
---kathr4453 on 5/7/15




Trav, I don't want to debate a kid.
Strongaxe is trying to teach you the art of debate.
Now, WHAT'S YOUR AGE?
---Nicole_Lacey on 5/6/15

Hunny bunny, old enough to be ur daddy. Similar to my own childrens arguments when they were learning, so far you don't have any platform for a debate.
Patronizing in retreat, confirms your lost argument. It's O.K., we all think we know until, scriptures reveals conflict.
Scriptures and lack of scriptures ate your Mary premise early.
Wax on...wax off.
Love ole StrongAxe but, Crayola is also art. So far his/your debating is not Crayola level.
Word,debate in scriptures: Pro_25:9 Debate thy cause...
Isa_27:8.
Isa_58:4 ...debate,...
Rom_1:29...debate, deceit,
---Trav on 5/7/15


Genesis 24:22

22 And it came to pass, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold,

No nose ring listed! But two bracelets are. Cluny, why so argumentative?
---kathr4453 on 5/7/15


\\We know at least from the time of Moses, marriage was a legal binding agreement that could only be broken by a written bill of divorcement.\\

The key point is the document. Before the time of Moses, divorce took place by merely sending the repudiate wife back to her family. This happened with Judah and Tamar.

\\ Rebecca was given a bracelet, and a marriage proposal.\\

My understanding is that it was either an earring or nose ring (depending on the translation) Rebecca received.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/6/15


Mark 10:4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.

We know at least from the time of Moses, marriage was a legal binding agreement that could only be broken by a written bill of divorcement. In those days daughters were not free to marry anyone they wanted. They were property of their father. So marriage contracts were legal binding covenants between families as well. Rebecca was given a bracelet, and a marriage proposal. Jacob worked 7 plus years before Rachael's father gave his blessing. Ruth belonged to another and Boaz redeemed her giving him the right to marry her, both being older, when Ruth was a widow even.

It appears Sammie has no such legal document.
---kathr4453 on 5/6/15


Trav, how old are you?

I don't want to debate a kid.

Strongaxe is trying to teach you the art of debate.

I have been smart with you in the past, but I realize you might be a boy or young man in your twenties. (early twenties).

What is your age? Since you wanted to know if Strongaxe was married, man or woman, I will start to make you comfortable.

I am 43 years old. Catholic and proud, Black Puerto Rican. Live in the Bible Belt.
Not married nor have any kids.

Now, WHAT'S YOUR AGE?
---Nicole_Lacey on 5/6/15


Trav:
God will marry Israel THE SAME WAY a bridegroom marries a bride. But does NOT say WHAT that way IS.
---StrongAxe on 5/6/15

The Ceremony.
Same as 1st time. Gather, sanctify, assemble the Old and Young and babies. Let Bridgegroom go forth and the bride out of her closet.

Joe_2:16 Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breasts: let the bridegroom go forth of his chamber, and the bride out of her closet.

Hey...you've discussed/seen/admitted Israels re-marriage. You're the first!

Mat_25:1 Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
---Trav on 5/6/15


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Trav:

I said: No, you didn't. I said that there is no example in scripture of a marriage ceremony.

You said: You provided nothing edible.

That is ridiculous. If I said the Bible does not mention George Washington anywhere, do you seriously expect me to quote every single verse and show that it doesn't?

Isa_62:5

This says God will marry Israel THE SAME WAY a bridegroom marries a bride. But does NOT say WHAT that way IS.
---StrongAxe on 5/6/15


Trav:
No, you didn't. I said that there is no example in scripture of a marriage ceremony.
---StrongAxe on 5/5/15

You provided nothing edible. Scripture provided GOD. Scripture no one ever sees or hears. Including me, until it was pointed too.
New Covenant Ceremony.
Joe_2:16 Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breasts: let the bridegroom go forth of his chamber, and the bride out of her closet.
Isa_62:5 For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee.
---Trav on 5/5/15


Trav:

You said: Someone should do the scriptural proof work, so I posted scripture which speaks a surer testimony.

No, you didn't. I said that there is no example in scripture of a marriage ceremony. Saying "God was married to Israel" does not in any way contradict this, because it can't - there IS no scripture that gives a formulamarriage ceremony. Plenty that talk about marriage FEASTS, or about the STATE of being married, but none about HOW people get married.

Discover in scripture that "widows" are not "effeminate" men pretending.

What does this have to do with anything being discussed? And what does it have to do with Is 8:20?
---StrongAxe on 5/5/15


Trav:
So how does God's marriage to Israel invalidate my point?
---StrongAxe on 5/4/15

Rebuttal? Who is debating? Only you it appears.
Scriptures of GOD posted, there is no debate.
You stated opinion...which is a lazy, man adulterated blah, blah, blah which may or may not have substance. Leaving questions always.
Someone should do the scriptural proof work, so I posted scripture which speaks a surer testimony.
Which you could do too...download eSword or something. Discover in scripture that "widows" are not "effeminate" men pretending.
Isa_8:20 To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.
---Trav on 5/4/15


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Trav:

I said: There is nothing in the Bible that records any specific formula for a marriage ceremony.

You said, in rebuttal: Somehow you missed GOD's marriage to Israel.

I replied: direct your attention to the TOTAL ABSENCE in this verse to any actual formula for marriage.

You said: Point...is the absence. GOD doesn't need a ceremony, just a vow and declaration of love.

Exactly what I have been saying. So how does God's marriage to Israel invalidate my point?
---StrongAxe on 5/4/15


Our God is Spirit, so He also in a sense had spiritual laws. The only verse that I believe will also apply in marriage and or a covenant is on Galatians 3:15 Brothers, Let me take an EXAMPLES FROM EVERYDAY LIFE.Just as no one can set aside or add to a human COVENANT that has been duly established, so it is on this case. julie
---julieta on 5/3/15


Trav:
I direct your attention to the TOTAL ABSENCE in this verse to any actual formula for marriage.
---StrongAxe on 5/1/15

Point...is the absence. GOD doesn't need a ceremony, just a vow and declaration of love.
Eze 16:8 Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love, I spread my skirt over thee, covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, thou becamest mine.
Deu_7:7 The LORD did not set his love upon you, nor choose you,...ye were the fewest of all people:
Deu_10:15 Only the LORD had a delight in thy fathers to love them, he chose their seed after them, even you above all people, as it is this day.
---Trav on 5/3/15


Trav:

You said: Somehow you missed GOD's marriage to Israel.
Israels marriage was quite a ceremony. (Jer_3:14 Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD, for I am married unto you:...)


I direct your attention to the TOTAL ABSENCE in this verse to any actual formula for marriage. THAT people married in the Old Testament is not in dispute, but the Bible never records HOW people got married. It is assumed that HOW was well known to the readership, but is not sufficiently important to give any rules for.
---StrongAxe on 5/1/15


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There is nothing in the Bible that records any specific formula for a marriage ceremony.
---StrongAxe on 4/30/15

Mr marriage advisor...who doesn't admit if he is married or isn't... or to a male or female.
Somehow you missed GOD's marriage to Israel.
Israels marriage was quite a ceremony. (Jer_3:14 Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD, for I am married unto you:...)
Unheard of today, as per your own testimony. Israels divorce quite messy for generations, (Jer_3:8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce, ...)
The Remarriage to House of Israel...ah now there's a ceremony that will never be duplicated.
---Trav on 5/1/15


There is nothing in the Bible that records any specific formula for a marriage ceremony. Just several incidents of marriage feasts. Marriages have traditionally been common law (i.e. a mutual covenant between groom and bride or her family) acnowledged by peers. The involvement of churches in marriage is fairly recent, and governments even more recent.

On the other hand, we are commanded to respect the higher powers, so if one's government does not recognize common law marriage (e.g. most U.S. states), it is wise to jump through the legally-required hoops.
---StrongAxe on 4/30/15


\\Easy answer scriptures do not demonstrate this concept of having a private ceremony between to people and through their private ceremony they declare they are married. \\

What kind of public ceremony did Isaac and Rebecca have?

Where is it described in the Bible?

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 4/30/15


Cute and I'm sure it was sweet and special many children do this too and forget their vows months later. For legal purposes without a witness you are not married, and in USA you must present a valid certificate from a person who has a license to marry. Also someone having license to marry cannot marry themselves to another.

Are you married in Gods sight? Easy answer scriptures do not demonstrate this concept of having a private ceremony between to people and through their private ceremony they declare they are married. You may reply that scriptures do not outline everything in life which is true and is used to sidestep Gods instruction. Many don't want to follow Gods instruction and still want and expect Gods blessing.
---LeahMary71 on 12/20/14


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Sammie, in reality, you may "feel" like you are married.Look at the big it big picture, you need be legally married in case of emergency, legal matters which may come up, matters of financial matters, all these things are important..if you truly love this the woman God bless you & her get married. Simple ceremony, what ever then you no longer in doubt...be blessed
Love of Jesus!
---Elena_9555 on 12/13/14


Church marriage is about vows made to God in front of witnesses.

Civil marriage is about vows made to the state in front of witnesses.

Did you make marriage vows to an "authority" in front of witnesses?

If not, you need witnesses.

Mat 18:16 . . . in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
2Co 13:1 . . . In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.

Though marriage vows to God in front of witnesses would establish your marriage in God's eyes, your marriage would still be illegal in the eyes of the state because a person licensed by the church or the state must sign the marriage documents.
---aservant on 12/13/14


To Aka , Post 12/5/14
are you right Yes! Was it in good standing with God? Probably Not!
Women & men, old saying "have jump the broom!" It defiitenitely, not in order with God laws.just my opinion you start a good debate..worth giving thought.God wants the best fr us for His highest!alot of christians live together before they marry...many reasons, we know that!



Love of Jesus!
---Elena_9555 on 12/13/14


Marriage is biblically done in a specific way where there is agreement with your parents, Male/female,your gathering or Community, All must agree to all the biblical principle of marriage, being equally yoked together and hence agree to marry. That is what agreement is, that you both come into the AGREEMENT OF BIBLICAL MARRIAGE. If your government agrees and it mirrors the word then you can say through salvation and in acknowledgement of his statues, Law and Commandments according to The Faith in Christ you are Married.
---Carla on 12/13/14


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God calls Christians not to give any appearance of evil. I agree that we need to obey the laws of the land concerning marriage. A legal marriage certificate and taking marriage vows among witnesses is a clear cut statement that you are married in the US. Why not be a good testimony, care about others and take away the doubts so that you are not known as a fornicator?
Fornication is serious and can lead to hell. There is a clear cut difference between a marriage that God honors and fornication. If you choose to be married then put and end to the confusion. If you plan to stay together then bring clarity to your relationship. You will find peace in the will of God..
---Marie on 12/10/14


I have quoted straight verses a few times and every time, they will not post it.
If many "christians" were honest...
---aka on 12/6/14

Ha. Who can figure. Only a couple of times in the last month have they not allowed a post to go through. They were tame and proof through anyones research type post. But...then provable or research is not always popular in scripture. If you're showing something scripturally inaccurate to the continent of diamonds post might just get cut.
---Trav on 12/8/14


//...good one.
Don't think I'll post all my totally honest stuff online here.// trav

I cannot believe that made it through.

I have quoted straight verses a few times and every time, they will not post it.

If many "christians" were honest...
---aka on 12/6/14


Contracts/covenants can be verbally sealed.
If many christians are honest, ...
---aka on 12/5/14

Bodyshakes...good one.
Don't think I'll post all my totally honest stuff online here. Besides...those honest episodes are as far as East is to West now.
Psa_103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
(Two parties swearing in below)
2Ch_15:12 And they entered into a covenant to seek the LORD God of their fathers with all their heart and with all their soul,
Eze_16:8 Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love,... I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine.
---Trav on 12/5/14


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I agree with 5694.

Contracts/covenants can be verbally sealed. They can be sealed with action (or inaction). They can be sealed with a gesture like a handshake or a "bodyshake".

If many christians are honest, they will admit that have been "married" to a few, several, many strange women and that adultery is much more prevalent than we will ever admit.
---aka on 12/5/14


Did Adam and Eve have a Certificate of Marriage? Are you saying that Adam and Eve's union does not count because they did not have a Certificate of Marriage? And what of 1 Corinthians 6:16? Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, The two will become one flesh. Do we not call Adam and Eve husband and wife? They will be our judge. (John 5:45, Matthew 12:27, Luke 11:19)
---Sin5694 on 12/2/14


Sin - when someone tries to obtain a certificate of divorce they will be asked to produce the certificate of marriage.
---Rita_H on 11/30/14

Rita...these came to mind. Verifications...of "the" Marriage, Divorce of GOD. Our law maker.
Isa_50:1 Thus saith the LORD, Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement, whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, for your transgressions is your mother put away.
Jer_3:8 I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
---Trav on 12/1/14


Sin - when someone tries to obtain a certificate of divorce they will be asked to produce the certificate of marriage.
---Rita_H on 11/30/14


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1 Corinthians 6:16-7 (NIV) Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, The two will become one flesh. But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

You are most definitely ONE. The only time you need a certificate is for DIVORCE. Deuteronomy 24:1-3
---sin5694 on 11/9/14


Yes. The Bible equates "knowing" (sexual intercourse with) someone with marriage. Why do you oppose formalizing your commitment with a legal document?


---jerry6593 on 11/8/14


Cluny in Genesis 24:67 we read
"And Isaac brought her to the tent of Sarah his mother, and he took Rebecca, and she became his wife, and he loved her. And Isaac was comforted for [the loss of] his mother."

It does not mention a ceremony as such but it clearly states that they were married (which would have been according to the customs of that time). That is what we must also do. Customs change (as does the law sometimes) but, regarding the original question, this sounds like a D.I.Y. job which does not apply to Isaac and Rebekah. They married according to the customs of that time. Sammie and partner did not - it would seem.
---Rita_H on 11/6/14


The Bible tells us to obey the laws of the land,therefore you aren't married until you have a lawfully appointed person such as a JP,Minister,etc marry you. I would think you may have entered into a covenant with your mate before God but it isn't a real marriage. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 11/6/14


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Sammie: YES, you are married. The 3 beings that forms a marriage were present in your private ceremony, God, man and woman.
But you have to formalize the marriage according to government rules using 1 of the many options that government normally gives.
---Adetunji on 11/6/14


Sammie, if you did consummate your union with God invited, why would you need to ask?

it seems either you are trying to leave or you are trying to convince someone to stay. until we know a little more, any answer here is really conjecture.

if you do not have children, keep it that way for now until you two are really committed to each other with no questions.
---aka on 11/5/14


There are no laws requiring couples who live together to be married. And there are no scriptures in the Bible requiring couples to have their marriages registered by the state or to have their wedding promises witnessed by other people.
---learner2 on 11/5/14


To obey God you must obey the Law which requires you to be legally married. So, if you have been living together without being married that is sin. You must ask The Lord to forgive you.
---helen4633 on 11/5/14


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In God's eyes I'd say certainly not because God tells us that we must obey the law of the land in which we live. Unless you live somewhere where this is considered a legal marriage, it is not one.

If you are not legally married according to the law of the land in which you live you will come across many difficulties in your life. You will not be next of kin and one will not be able to give permission for their loved one to have an operation (when they cannot speak for themselves). That is just one of very many examples.
---Rita_H on 11/5/14


\\Cannot find one scripture that says you are married.
---KarenD on 11/5/14
\\

Have you found a scripture that says a public ceremony presided over by a judge or minister is required?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/5/14


Sounds like another attempt to justify living in sin. Cannot find one scripture that says you are married.
---KarenD on 11/5/14


What do you mean by "private ceremony"?

Are you trying to say it's not registered with the civil authorities?

This might cause trouble for both of you down the road, if not. Not all jurisdictions recognize common law marriages now.

As far as how God views it, why don't you ask Him directly?

There's nothing about a ceremony for Isaac and Rebecca in the Bible.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/5/14


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