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Pay Child Support

My children's estranged father hasn't paid the government guidelines for support for years. I am struggling whether to report him to the government agency to collect what is owing to my children. I know if I proceeded he'll be outraged. I have forgiven him. Should I defend my children or let it go?

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 ---Lisa on 11/16/14
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Actually, that's incorrect Lisa. Parents that are uncomitted to making their children #1 or are not taking responsibility is what hurts children. It would be better for a parent to be removed, then to not be fully committed and responsible.
---Jed on 4/2/15


Jed, I'm not sure where you live, but refusing visitation is only hurting the children, and is not recommended by any court.
I have obtained a temporary order for support to start again, and we are back before the judge in June.
He is hoping to 50/50 custoday to nulify support. Three well adjusted teenagers who have never lived with him. I'm feeling positive.
Thank you for everyone's input.
---Lisa on 4/1/15


Wait, why is he seeing the children when he is 't paying child support? Don't you know that delinquent child supporters forfeit their visitation rights?
---Jed on 3/10/15


Hello everyone and thank you so much for your input. I HAVE completely forgiven this man and moved forward. My children to this day suffer his wrath when he continually belittles their mother. Years of trying to protect them has got to come to an end.
You will be happy to hear that we have day in court next week. I am optimistic and faithful that justice will be served.
I am heading in self represented and have done the best possible job preparing my case.
Prayers would be greatly appreciated. I will update when the dust settles.
---Lisa on 3/10/15


"Yes", you should proceed to report him and get the child support. It's great you have forgiven him, but this doesn't excuse him from his obligation of paying his child support. If he gets mad, that's his problem, not yours. (Don't allow him to "lay a guilt trip" on you. Again, let me urge you get the child support - even if he gets outraged. (You are the one who should be outraged, not him. He's cheating you and your children out of what he's obligated to give you.)
---wivv on 11/17/14




If you aren't living with another man and haven't married someone else, since you write "children's father" indicating more than one child and that you have "forgiven" him, then why don't you invite him back into your (plural) lives or return to him? Then the child support matter is no longer a matter.
---sin5694 on 11/17/14


Lisa, you need to read carefully, think about it. Here, my true story, A man came grab me threw me in a car Rape beat me, threaten me, my family becuz sad for me, I look JUST LIKE his exwife..the guy who grabb later show me, said he was paid to do it all!! Wife sue his boss for childsupport.Some men will kill before they pay child support.It took me a long time to just sleep at night!!
I never put her dad my own child father in court.He was a vet came bk mentally NOT able to do nothing. ME and my late mother took care of my daughter.I could been dead if NOT for mercy of Jesus Christ!!
---Elena_9555 on 11/17/14


Lisa: If you and your children have coped & are still coping without receiving any dime from him for years, i believe you should not press any charges against him.
God might have been blessing you in special ways because you were not receiving his part.
If you now take him to the govt agency, I am not sure if God will be happy with you or not Matthew 18: 21-35.
Please pray over it, if the Lord directs you to press him for the charges, then go ahead.
---Adetunji on 11/17/14


The debt forgiven is between you and you husband. You don't have the right to forgive the debt of the dad to the children.

And the Children need the protection of the law because neither of you will.
---aka on 11/17/14


Thanks you so very much. In the thick of a situation there seems to be fog, but all of your responses (removed from the situation) brought true clarity. So appreciated!!
Ecclesiastes 12 states - " All has been heard, the end of the matter is: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man (the adjustment of all inharmonious circumstances and foundation of happiness) and the (duty) for every man."
Enough said :)
God Bless
---Lisa on 11/17/14




This has nothing to do with whether you have forgiven him or not,this is about a Deadbeat Dad that doesn't do his lawful duty. Yes report him and have it set up where he has to pay through a State Agency like the Child Support office. He owes that money to the children and you and it should never be considered if he is going to get furious,so what,it is a legal debt. You have a responsibility to your children not their Dad. Report him right away he doesn't deserve any consideration since he has lived his life as he pleases and partly on the children's money. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 11/17/14


Learner2 Having forgiven someone does not take away a debt, especially when the law of the land says he should be paying. He is not just depriving his children of what is their right he is also breaking the law.

Lisa, forgiveness takes away the bitterness and might give you peace of mind but it does not feed and clothe the children he brought into the world.

I believe that he should be reported and brought into line but that is up to you because only you know if the 'outrage' he'll feel might mean VIOLENCE which is to be avoided at all costs.
---Rita_H on 11/17/14


1 Samuel and Psalm 119 both state we should keep the law and be submisive to authority. I am defending my children. I hold no grudge and have totally forgiven him. I struggle because I have forgiven him and have let it go, yet I want to do what is right.
---Lisa on 11/16/14


Lisa, if you have truly forgiven him, why have you asked us about this?
---learner2 on 11/16/14


If the estranged father has a job and works, he should be singing on his way to work, I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.
I owed to 1 daughter a year. When she graduated college didn't have to pay any more.
---Lawrence on 11/16/14


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