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Dress Code For Clients

Dress code for massage clients? My husband is a Medical Massage Therapist, the only male in in a chiropractic office, and uses draping. I have a problem with female clients giving my husband a free peepshow! We have been married 32 years. I love and trust my husband. Please help me find a solution.

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 ---Beth on 1/8/15
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There is nothing worse than being accused of something you haven't done and nothing worse than a jealous nagging woman. Also nothing worse than a man who can't keep his eyes on his wife. I've been to a message therapist and there was nothing ungodly that happened or come close to happening. He was very respectful in everyway.
---shira4368 on 1/17/15


Beth

First you need to get educated on what draping is because your remark that women are giving your husband a free peep show is so far off base to what draping is that it makes you appear highly ignorant.

Second your remark about loving and trusting your husband is irrelevant because if you did then his profession would not be what you believe would drive a wedge between you and your husband and most likely there are many things your husband does that you constantly find issue with about other women and his profession is just a decoy for your own insecurities.

The solution is you because you cannot "trust" someone yet find fault in them when there is no fault in them to begin with.
---beenie18 on 1/17/15


Oh, he is a "medical" massage professional. So, he is not going to get so personal, possibly, with people who come to him.

And, "of course", a lady worker can prepare each patient, and stay with them, then he can leave before the patient gets out from under the cover.

And, "of course", he may already be doing this. Have you actually talked with him about what is really happening?

By the way, I have found that women trying to flash themselves are not very well-developed for relating personally. Plus, they can look wasted and used, because of the ugliness of their sin. So, if you have love with each other, he can see your superior beauty (c: of God's love > 1 Peter 3:4.
---com7fy8 on 1/15/15


It could also be that you are projecting what you yourself are in what you called her husband.
---Cluny on 1/13/15

Ha. I've seen me as a jerk in the mirror many times. An you ... more. (almost joking)
The difference between me and you is I'm man enough to admit it.
Dr low is obviously telling her of she wouldn't know.
He could resolve the problem, which is him.
Notice that you'd rather keep this on a worldly level than discuss scriptures detailing that GOD was Jealous and married. Your tell is what you don't/won't/can't discuss Cluny. You can't, for orthodogma reasons we'd suspect.
You talk some talk but don't walk any talk.
---Trav on 1/14/15


\\he may be the jerk as I'm suspecting in telling his wife stories.
---Trav on 1/13/15\\

It could more likely be that he's trying to be as open with his wife as professional ethics permit.

It could also be that she cross-examines him every day and despite her protestations of love and trust, does neither, as she's terribly insecure.

It could also be that you are projecting what you yourself are in what you called her husband.

Christ is baptized! In the Jordan!
---Cluny on 1/13/15




You need to pray to the Lord about your jealousy and evil imaginations.
---Cluny on 1/12/15

I have no remedy here. You say Pray...you'd be right.

Jealousy is not her problem it is very natural as seen by our own GOD.
GOD is a Jealous GOD. Israel the wife was warned and she still persisted.

Exo_34:14 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:

Psa_79:5 How long, LORD? wilt thou be angry for ever? shall thy jealousy burn like fire?
Pro_6:34 For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

The Husband could find the solution easily...he may be the jerk as I'm suspecting in telling his wife stories.
---Trav on 1/13/15


I thought that this was a blog where you could talk about problems and get advice from other christians.

You are getting advice. It just not the advice that you want. You want to "grab the bull by the horns" and fix a problem that is only a problem to you (I have not read that your husband is complaining that he can't do his job).

Your husband has seen their lady parts for 6 years: he has not left you. Thus, none of them have managed to lure him away from you. Your husband can't control their actions. The company is not going to take any stance that causes them to lose money.

The only real solution -- pray. Only Jesus can really fix your unrest.
---aservant on 1/12/15


\\The problem is not me, but the seductively dressed Jezebelles that get some kind of sick thrill from showing themselves to my husband while he is just trying to make a living.\\

And how many times have you seen this actually happen?

Or does your husband tell you about it?

As long as he does, you have nothing to worry about.

But I really think you're just imagining things. NO health professional would allow a spouse to chaperone treatments.

You need to pray to the Lord about your jealousy and evil imaginations.

What did you expect or want? "Oh, you poor girl, how much you suffer"?

Christ is baptized! In the Jordan!
---Cluny on 1/12/15


The problem is not me, but the seductively dressed Jezebelles that get some kind of sick thrill from showing themselves to my husband while he is just trying to make a living. Thanks for the comments but I guess no one else has experienced this problem in their life. So I am outta here.
---Beth on 1/12/15


\\The problem is when female clients expose themselves to him before getting the massage\\

And how many female clients have flashed your husband? Can you give me an exact number?

I'm sure any exposure is accidental.

You yourself admit that your husband is acting in an entirely professional and ethical manner.

The Bible says that perfect love casts out fear.

Why are you so afraid and insecure? You need to search your heart, and then give it up to Jesus.

Christ is baptized! In the Jordan!
---Cluny on 1/12/15




Beth, you probably are not going to find such a blog. I do understand your dilemma as far as you have told. I do agree with wanting to protect your family as well as yourself. But, as far as advice, a coin with one side is not worth anything and all we can do is speculate. And that is not good for you or family.
---aka on 1/11/15


Yes there is several differences. He is trained in draping and exposes only the area worked on a the time and only works the glutes covered and does not massage the breasts or genitals. The problem is when female clients expose themselves to him before getting the massage. I thought that this was a blog where you could talk about problems and get advice from other christians.
---Beth on 1/11/15


NurseRobert, I have a feeling that this does not bother your wife. Nursing includes clinical observation and exams, and it really is not the same.
---aka on 1/11/15


the only "solution" is to ask him to choose another vocation that does not involve nudity if it bothers you so.
---aka on 1/9/15

Well, guess, Im up a creek, aka. In my 30 years as a nurse, I have seen more nudes that Hugh Hefner. Not ONCE have I been tempted.

A LMT deals with the human body and has seen breasts, buttocks and vaginas. It comes with the job. The OP needs to sit down with her husband and that with him, NOT come here for advice..
---NurseRobert on 1/11/15


Cluny,

Suitable help...that is short and sweet.

Thanks.
---aka on 1/11/15


\\my compliments to you. the actual hebrew word used does not actually mean help mate. \\

There is no such word as "help mate" or "helpmeet".

This is a mistaken reading of Genesis, where two separate words are used: "Help"" meaning counterpart, and "meet" meaning suitable or appropriate, as in the liturgical phrase, "it is meet and right so to do."

Christ is baptized!! In the Jordan!
---Cluny on 1/9/15


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If your husband is a Spirit-filled Christian, he already has a "Husband" and does not need you to shield and protect him 'as you would protect your children'. Your husband is not your child and you can't possibly shield and protect as well as Jesus can.

Refs to being married to God. Is 54:5, 62:5, Jer 3:14, 31:32, Hos 2:16, 19, Rom 7:4, 2 Cor 11:2

You're in fear and are insecure. Both are from Satan. It's not a peepshow if your husband is seeing a client he needs to help.

Seriously suggest you spend an hour a day in prayer, and listen to praise music a few hours a day.
---aservant on 1/9/15


Eve, a help meet.-Beth

my compliments to you. the actual hebrew word used does not actually mean help mate. this has the connotation of secretary or side kick. the actual word means forward shield and protection.

look where the ribs are. look what the ribs protect. the Fathers breath of life in man. in turn, the arms of a man, his strength protect the second weakest bones in the body. 2 as 1. also, spiritually and physically, man needs to have proper nourishment and not take in what might injure from the inside.

it sounds like your pleas are being dismissed...making you feel vulnerable.

i surely hope the solution does not come after a real problem. nagging will not help now. be patient and be ready.
---aka on 1/9/15


He has been a Medical Massage Therapists for 6 years.
In Genesis 2:18 God said that it was not good that man be should be alone,then he created Eve, a help meet.
Sometimes God reveals to a spouse things that the other does not see. A married woman who loves and trusts her husband should shield and protect him from potential harm, just like you do for your children.
---Beth on 1/9/15


If he can handle contact without getting in trouble, I would say seeing her would not be so much of a thing.

I find that now that I have had love with a lady, I do not care much about what other women look like or feel like. Because love satisfies me more. If I start looking, I also can get "homesick" for how I could be in love, instead.

Possibly, contact and sight, for him, have become commonplace. What they can show him can't come close to the love you share (c: But it can be good to talk, but consider keeping your mind on things above > Colossians 3:1-4 > be prayerfully careful about what gets your attention, in your conversations.
---com7fy8 on 1/9/15


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married 32 years...great.

how long as a Medical Massage Therapist.?

nobody can truly search a man's heart. the only "solution" is to ask him to choose another vocation that does not involve nudity if it bothers you so.
---aka on 1/9/15


If you truly loved and trusted your husband, you would have no trouble, now would you?

It's not up to YOU to find a solution, as you are not the licensed professional who has to deal with this issue.

It sounds to me like he's acting in a totally ethical manner.

Would you have the same problem if your husband were a gynecologist or breast cancer surgeon?

Search your heart, dear soul.

Christ is baptized! In the Jordan!
---Cluny on 1/8/15


Perhaps a female in the office can fully prep and position any female patient so that your husband is the final contact person.

Another thought: a Lion will not eat straw under any circumstance. Thus, the lion cannot be tempted by the notion of straw.

Likewise a fully satisfied husband cannot possibly by tempted by the 8,000th female form he's seen, especially where love and trust have been the foundation of 32 years of faithful satisfaction with his wife. It is quite likely he sees you as you were when you were his new bride, and thinks he is the most blessed man alive.
---aservant on 1/8/15


Yes! He says that he can not control how people dress, but I think that there is someway he could let them know that it is for their safety and his they dress appropriately. He owns his own business and should be in control when they come to him.
---Beth on 1/8/15


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Did you talk to him about it?
---Scott1 on 1/8/15


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