ChristiaNet MallWorld's Largest Christian MallChristian BlogsFree Bible QuizzesFree Ecards and Free Greeting CardsLoans, Debt, Business and Insurance Articles

How Involved Are Pastors

Should pastors be allowed to be involved in the private/home life of their members and, if they should, to what extent should that reach? Where are the barriers?

Join Our Christian Dating and Take The Christian Living Quiz
 ---Rita_H on 5/18/15
     Helpful Blog Vote (2)

Reply to this BlogPost a New Blog



Joh 10:14 I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.

Act 20:28 Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.

Pastors are to be like Jesus, shepherds who sacrifice themselves. They have Spiritual authority to shepherd, i.e., protect, guide, and guard sheep. The pastor is not "the authority" over your life, in your home, or in your marriage, your husband (or Jesus) is - Eph 5:24.

If you are unmarried, the pastor may need a bit more latitude. All home visits should be accompanied by his wife (or elderly female).
---aservant on 6/11/15


Christians have an obligation to confront their brothers who are engaged in sinful behavior. It's often difficult to do so as many of those being confronted resent correction. Yet to intermeddle in, and micromanage the lives of a household not your own is sinful. God created the model of the family and the priesthood of father and husband. Interlopers are not welcome. Please look up the Emergent and Shepherding movements. As an aside, if your Congregation is run as a for profit corporation, is pharisaical, over controlling, or asks you to affirm a covenant, please feel to run.
Genesis 1:27, Proverbs 14:16, John 12:40, Galatians 6:1-10, 1Timothy 3:1-13, 5:8, Titus 1:5-9, Hebrews 3:12-19, 1Peter 3:15.
---Glenn on 6/10/15


I was able to forgive the people who abused me.
---Monk_Brendan on 5/30/15

Forgiveness, good for you and better for them.
From another view these people were suffering from whatever brought them to that level.
You forgave them because they were not normal...sick, lame or blind.
While it pains us all to see the innocent treated badly. They are innocent. Judged as being innocent.
Luk_5:31 Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.
Mar_2:17 When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
---Trav on 6/1/15


Trav said, "Post where he stated he was sexually molested. Believe you are reading something into his story or trying to build a case out of nothing."

He never did say he was sexually abused. I was making generalizations, saying that no child deserves the bad treatment that some parents visit upon their children.

I was never sexually abused.

I did have some traumatic things happen to me in childhood, including physical and emotional abuse. But, after a long time, and a few visits to a shrink, I was able to forgive the people who abused me.

Pray for me,
the unworthy monk Brendan
---Monk_Brendan on 5/30/15


Trav said, " I feel strongly for your mom from the reflections given.
Shame on you Trav! No child deserves to be sexually molested.
---Monk_Brendan on 5/29/15

Go take a chill pill.
I'll stand by my statements with the information he gave. My heart goes out to his mother.
Shame on you for defending what you know nothing about.

Post where he stated he was sexually molested. Believe you are reading something into his story or trying to build a case out of nothing.
Are you fighting the pedophilia rampant in your cult? You've never mentioned it here.
Your cult's peculiar life ruining problem. Along with other related abomination problems.
---Trav on 5/29/15




Trav said, " I feel strongly for your mom from the reflections given.
Sounds like you took after your dad.
Shame he didn't let her chasten you just a little more for all of us.
Would have hurt you a little and spared us much rod...(love) work."


Shame on you Trav! That is just evil, writing about Cluny's parents in such a foul manner. No child, even the child of a satanist (not Cluny or me. Both of us had a good Christian upbringing in spite of our parents) deserves to be beaten. No child deserves to be sexually molested. And no child deserves the type of emotional abuse that you seem to delight in.

Pray for me,
the unworthy monk Brendan
---Monk_Brendan on 5/29/15


A wise pastor would have asked to see both people and might have asked the couple for their permission to bring his wife also. There are several better options than the one he chose. Possibly, a better first step would have been to invite the couple around for coffee one morning and just test the water initially. No-one should use a sledge hammer to crack a nut.
---andreea on 5/29/15


You would have to not believe the person to believe the person above the Bible. But then you are contradicting yourself.
---Samuelbb7 on 5/28/15

The above is Sam talking to Sam and it leaked out here. (Can't wait to see your (free) book, you totally exceeded ellen g. with that paragraph)

Glad to see you denying the false prophetess now for what she was and is. A foolish dead woman with a head injury.

1Jn_4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.
Isa_8:20 To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.
---Trav on 5/29/15


"You ended up worshiping ellen g's head-injury" Trav

I worship GOD and no person. So why are you making a false accusation?

I believe the Bible is inspired. I do not worship it.

The Bible is the highest authority on Earth above the writings of all people including E.G. White. Something she also stated.

How can a person make themselves above the Bible. If they state over and over that the Bible is above them and all people.

You would have to not believe the person to believe the person above the Bible. But then you are contradicting yourself.

On Christ the Solid rock I stand.
---Samuelbb7 on 5/28/15


\\Telling it here is not gossip as no identification is involved. If I passed it on to another person face to face that WOULD BE gossip\\

You may be fooled by externals, Rita, but God is not.

Gossip remains gossip, be it spread face to face, by telephone, by letter, or by internet.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 5/28/15




So what is gossip Cluny - the fact that the wife told me or that I am telling it here? Without identification I don't see how it's gossip here but, if you wish to say it is, that is your prerogative. If a husband can share so can a wife and she'd probably have had a nervous breakdown had she not shared it.

Unless you recognise exactly who I mean there has been no gossip. I have no more to say to you on this.
---Rita_H on 5/28/15


\\ then surely it's O.K. if the wife then shares the fact this happened with a friend. \\

Are you the wife in question, Rita?

If you're not, then it's gossip.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 5/28/15


Cluny - "Therefore any comments you want to hear will be based on gossip that you yourself are spreading." If a man takes his troubles to a pastor and that's considered O.K. then surely it's O.K. if the wife then shares the fact this happened with a friend. Her story - not gossip. Telling it here is not gossip as no identification is involved. If I passed it on to another person face to face that WOULD BE gossip
---Rita_H on 5/28/15


Cluny is not describing being chastened but being beaten
John 3:16
---Samuelbb7 on 5/27/15

Jhn 3:16, explained by some you cannot use: Joh_17:9 I pray not for the world,...
Matt 1:21..."his people"
Lk 1:77..."his people"
Lk 1:68...visited redeemed "his people"
Cluny didn't the word beaten. He said "being me".
He didn't die from the "chastening rod". I see the poor mother under some kind of stress that these two males didn't help any.
Is not a normal woman's nature to beat her children and attack her husband.
Regardless, Cluny ended up believing Christ, forgiving his mother??
You ended up worshiping ellen g's head-injury.
Cluny benefited the more.
---Trav on 5/28/15


Dear Cluny

I am sorry to hear about the mother you had and how she treated you. That was a terrible thing to do to a child.

Trav Cluny is not describing being chastened but being beaten. Your attack shows a very unchristian attitude of hatred.

Pray about who is the one acting like Satan here/

John 3:16
---Samuelbb7 on 5/27/15


He would pull her off me when I was a small child to keep her from being me without mercy.
Shall I go on?
---Cluny on 5/27/15

Not necessary for me. I feel strongly for your mom from the reflections given.
Sounds like you took after your dad.
Shame he didn't let her chasten you just a little more for all of us.
Would have hurt you a little and spared us much rod...(love) work.

Pro_19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Pro_13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Pro_29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
---Trav on 5/27/15


Read These Insightful Articles About Christian Marriage


Rita, you ask if a pastor should say, "I need to see the two of you together about this". I would say so (c:

But our Father provides real pastors for His children. But we need to obey how He guides us to the one He trusts. And a group needs to obey God's standards for who is qualified to "take care of the church of God" > 1 Timothy 3:1-10.

However, there are groups that are short on pastors, because they do not obey how God would take care of them. So, they themselves are their real problem.

And, for marriage, ones choose who they want to use, instead of seeking how the Lord guides us "continually" (Isaiah 58:11). And so they reap trouble.
---Bill on 5/27/15


Rita, you're not talking about YOUR husband, YOUR pastor, or YOURSELF.

Therefore any comments you want to hear will be based on gossip that you yourself are spreading.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 5/27/15


Cluny, you answer my third paragraph, do you have anything to say about the first two?
---Rita_H on 5/27/15


\\Maybe your father said nothing because there was nothing bad to say about your mum\\

Oh, there were bad things. Trust me.

He would pull her off me when I was a small child to keep her from being me without mercy.

One time she tried to stick her fingers in his eyes. Another time she threw a sugar bowl at him.

Shall I go on?

BTW--I was the only one in two generations who went to church.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 5/27/15


Read These Insightful Articles About Debt Consolidation


Cluny are you seriously saying that if a woman mentioned some marital problem to her minister he should turn up unannounced to see the husband to discuss this? Shouldn't he have said "I need to see the two of you together about this" Most men would be equally offended if they opened the door to find the minister there armed with information about their marriage and just expecting to be invited in to hear the husband's side?

This is not how such things should be sorted out. Ideally, of course, both parties should agree together to ask the pastor to advise them on their problems.

Maybe your father said nothing because there was nothing bad to say about your mum and he did not want to invite questions from anyone.
---Rita_H on 5/26/15


Cluny you have a good point. As a woman we do talk a lot getting consolation where ever we can get it esp from our Pastor and girlfriend.
I heard my mother a few times but likewise I A NEVER heard my father.
---Nicole_Lacey on 5/26/15


\\ I think most wives would find it difficult, to truly welcome a pastor who turns up out of the blue having been consulted by just one half of the couple.\\

And how many women tattle on their husbands to their pastors, girlfriends, and anyone else who will listen?

I've seen it a lot on these blogs myself--and have questioned just what the husbands would say about this.

I saw it with my own mother when my parents split. She told everyone in earshot what a louse he was. OTOH, I never heard Dad say anything bad about Mom.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 5/25/15


"I understand that a trustworthy pastor will be welcomed to be involved in personal things" There are two important words here 'trustworthy' and 'welcomed'. I think most wives would find it difficult, to truly welcome a pastor who turns up out of the blue having been consulted by just one half of the couple. Also the husband might trust the pastor more than the wife does. Nothing like this should ever happen without a couple discussing it and, until invited by BOTH a minister should not assume he will be welcome.

I would be devastated if something like that happened to me and all women I have asked say the same. Also, I believe that if the boot were on the other foot most men would not just be upset but would be very angry.
---Rita_H on 5/24/15


Send a Free Angel Ecard


"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

I think this means the sheep personally know leaders so they can feed on their example. And this example will effect their personal lives.

I understand that a trustworthy pastor will be welcomed to be involved in personal things. But the leader is not to lord himself or herself over and "control" anyone.

In Hebrews 13:17, we have, "Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive". So, I would say God has leaders whom He trusts . . . if He commands us to obey His approved leaders.

So, an interesting question could be, "Do you have a pastor whom God trusts?"
---Bill on 5/23/15


Anyone logging onto this question (hoping to find helpful answers) will be disappointed because less than a third of the answers, so far, actually deal with the subject I raised.

I wish that we would all ignore the headline given to questions. I did not ask How involved ARE pastors, I asked how involved SHOULD THEY BE.

If we just answered the question as it is asked (AND any follow-up information given as an early answer) we might all get involved in the initial subject, and be enlightened, instead of going off of totally different subjects.
---Rita_H on 5/23/15


Psa 117:1,2

O praise the LORD, all ye nations: praise him, all ye people.
For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the LORD endureth for ever. Praise ye the LORD.

I Praise the LORD that Jesus said to tell the Gospel to all. Matthew 28:19,20

He helped a woman of Samaria and Canaan. When his disciples did not.

Haggai 2:7
And I will shake all nations, and the desire of all nations shall come: and I will fill this house with glory, saith the LORD of hosts.

Jesus is the desire of all nations.

Jesus loves the little children all the children of the world.
---Samuelbb7 on 5/22/15


Now, show me where Jesus instituted revivals, altar calls, hymnals, and everyone having his own personal Bible.
---Cluny on 5/21/15

I agree with you on revivals and altar calls. Hymnals...have to look for it. Personal Bible, is a witness unto itself allowed us to break away from the orthodox and catholic cults.

Show us where Jesus wore a kalymmafchion, skoufos or thousand dollar robes. Show where Christ taught to kiss icons. Show where Christ instructed any to pray to his mother or any saint.

Do you kiss the priest hairy arm every day or just the back of his hand or ring? Seen photos online of arrogant looking priests getting arm smooches. Who knows may have seen you or strongAxe??
---Trav on 5/22/15


Read These Insightful Articles About Refinancing


Trav the true Israel of today is the Church.
---Samuelbb7 on 5/21/15

Does a Half truth stand? Or a whole truth?
Every prophet should support you. They don't.
Christ should declare your statements. He doesn't.
You post Paul. He doesn't either. Your chiseling scripture with a hammer of misunderstanding creates a statue doctrine of Sam.

Isa 11:12 he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth.

Rev 21:12 And had a wall great and high, and had twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and names written thereon, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel:
---Trav on 5/22/15


Paul set up jobs and leaders in the church who had to fulfill certain conditions.

The latter church set up men as special offices above the laity. Not to be servants to the people but their masters.

A Pastor is supposed to serve the sheep. Not command them. He is supposed to lead and protect. Not demand high titles and special privileges.

This happens in all churches where there are hired men pretending to be Shepherds.

Many here are blaming Paul for what men did. 2Peter 3:16
As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.

agape
---Samuelbb7 on 5/22/15


\\Paul wrote 1/2 the NT where he set up church laity distinction ,together with all the rules , a whole new system not of Christ's making ~\\

So, you are saying that St. Paul and therefore a large part of the NT teach things that Christ didn't allow for.

Do I understand you right?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 5/22/15


Cliff, Paul explained the new Covenant or system however you wish to phase it.
It was Jesus who made the New Covenant. Only God.
Men follow. Paul was a man.
---Nicole_Lacey on 5/21/15


Read These Insightful Articles About Franchises


Cluny ** It's all through the NT**
Again, no specifics !
Of course it's throughout the NT, Paul wrote 1/2 the NT where he set up church laity distinction ,together with all the rules , a whole new system not of Christ's making ~
---1st_cliff on 5/21/15


1st Cliff said, " Cluny, B C V where Jesus instituted Deacons, Bishops, Elders. Laity."
Acts 20:20
Jn 20:21-23
Acts 6

The Apostles were all Bishops, instituted by Jesus when He breathed on them and said, "receive the Holy Spirit, etc."

The rank of Deacon was instituted by the Apostles in Acts 6.

As far as Presbyters, (priests,) this did not come into play until Ignatius of Antioch, who mentions Presbyters in his writings. However, when our Lord instituted bishops, He also gave the Apostles the ability to ordain to the diaconate and Presbyterate.

The laity are the people not in holy orders or in consecrated life.

Pray for me,
the unworthy monk Brendan
---Monk_Brendan on 5/21/15


\\Cluny, B C V where Jesus instituted Deacons, Bishops , Elders . Laity .

---1st_cliff on 5/21/15\\

It's all through the NT.

Now, show me where Jesus instituted revivals, altar calls, hymnals, and everyone having his own personal Bible.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 5/21/15


Since we all are human (c: I consider that a pastor has had issues, too, and private things. So, a mature person is not likely to be surprised or impressed by what might seem a major thing, to you. Humble it (c:

Hebrews 4:15, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 > Jesus has been through things of this life so now He can feel for us, out of His own experience, and minister to us the grace which made Him successful. Likewise, a mature Jesus pastor has been through things so now he can help you, with his wife helping, I would consider. You can find one who is mature and sound so he can help you with anything, how God makes him able. God makes His approved ones able, like this (c:
---Bill on 5/21/15


Read These Insightful Articles About Lead Generation


Cluny, B C V where Jesus instituted Deacons, Bishops , Elders . Laity .

---1st_cliff on 5/21/15


Trav the true Israel of today is the Church. Not a denomination but all the Born Again followers of JESUS.

All went from whatever they were before to children of Abraham and be bought into Israel.

Rom 9:6
Not as though the word of God hath taken none effect. For they are not all Israel, which are of Israel:

Rom 9:31
But Israel, which followed after the law of righteousness, hath not attained to the law of righteousness.

The problem is many people have tried to turn a Jewish church into a Gentile church.

Agape
---Samuelbb7 on 5/21/15


\\Elders in the sense of older more experienced \\

Actually the PRESBYTEROI were the second order of ministry between EPISCOPOI (bishops) and DIAKONOI (deacons).

It did not necessarily mean "more experienced.

Try again.
---Cluny on 5/20/15


Cluny, Yes, I've read "Acts" (Written by the only non Hebrew bible writer, not even an apostle) but we won't go there at this time.
He writes that the elders in Jerusalem sorted out issues, like the issue of circumcision, but this in no way resembled "Church hierarchy" Elders in the sense of older more experienced , Elder was not a "title" ! like "reverend" or "Excellency"
---1st_cliff on 5/20/15


Read These Insightful Articles About Mortgages


...talking gibberish has never been Orthodox praxis.
---Cluny on 5/20/15

Your orthodoc's praxis has always been un-orthodox gibberish.
Save two of your twenty dollar words and buy one of those $40.00 baptismal towels you sell in your "box".
Orthodox as a term first used 1587.
Probably because of the split with your Scarlet daughter the Roman Universals.

Act_8:3 As for Saul, he made havock of the ekklesia, entering into every "house", and haling men and women committed them to prison.
Imagine that. In every house an Ekklesia: (a calling out,(concretely) a popular meeting, especially a religious congregation... Christian community of members on earth or saints in heaven or both)
---Trav on 5/20/15


\\Which of the 12 apostles did Jesus set up in a church/synagogue as "pastor" with his little flock of listeners ?\\

Who would meet on a given day to sing , clap hands, pray,have pot luck suppers,talk in gibberis\\

I guess you've never read the Book of Acts, which mentions apostles and elders in charge of the Church there (and similar structures elsewhere), eating in common, and the like.

Though talking gibberish has never been Orthodox praxis.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/20/15


Cluny, I think you got a faulty connection on your hot line to heaven!
Which of the 12 apostles did Jesus set up in a church/synagogue as "pastor" with his little flock of listeners ? Who would meet on a given day to sing , clap hands, pray,have pot luck suppers,talk in gibberish....you know the whole 9 yards ???
---1st_cliff on 5/20/15


1Peter 2:9
But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people,...---Samuelbb7 on 5/20/15

Connecting the scriptural dots to Peters scripture above.
Chosen:Deu_7:6/14:2 ...an holy people unto the LORD thy God, the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself...
Royal: Isa62:3... a royal diadem...
Holy: Deut 7:6/14:2.
Peculiar People:
Exo_19:5...a peculiar treasure unto me above all people:...
Deu_14:2 For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God,the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all...
Deu_26:18...his peculiar people, as he hath promised, ...
Psa_135:4 LORD hath chosen Jacob unto himself, Israel his peculiar treasure.
---Trav on 5/20/15


Read These Insightful Articles About Personal Loans


Actually the priesthood of the laity is taught by Paul it is the post nicene church who started making them different.

One forgotten element of the Protestant reformation was the priesthood of the Believers.

We all can go for ourselves and others directly to Jesus and do not need anyone else to go for us. We have only one High Priest and we are his priests.

Hebrews 3:1
Wherefore, holy brethren, partakers of the heavenly calling, consider the Apostle and High Priest of our profession, Christ Jesus,

1Peter 2:9
But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people, that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:
---Samuelbb7 on 5/20/15


What would any of you do if your spouse handled something really private that way and how do you think the pastor should have handled it once he had this information?
---Rita_H on 5/18/15

Wow. Wouldn't go to that Church anymore. Her husband is an idiot.
He'd get a lesson in keeping home things at home.
Personally have no use for those calling themselves pastors.
Have met one in 58 years.
Those choosing the position are not pastors.

Jer_23:1 Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! saith the LORD.
---Trav on 5/20/15


\\Christ had no intention of this type of distinction when He rebuked the Rabbis for insisting on being front and center of all functions !\\

Yes, He did, and He told me to tell you that you're wrong.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/19/15


The pastor sometimes needs to get involved in personal matters if a person in leadership is involved. For instance, a praise and worship leader going to the "game store" and renting adult games. Clerk at store wants to know why a man who is studying for ministry is looking at stuff like that. Pastor would need to deal with that worship leader. My husband (a pastor) does not get involved in marital problems unless asked to do so. Then he will only counsel both parties together, if possible. We do not take sides in divorce.
---KarenD on 5/19/15


Read These Insightful Articles About Auto Insurance


Rita, The separation of clergy and laity is the invention of Paul.
Christ had no intention of this type of distinction when He rebuked the Rabbis for insisting on being front and center of all functions !
---1st_cliff on 5/19/15


Someone told me recently that her husband had (without her knowledge) visited their pastor and told him something very private about their marriage. Instead of the pastor asking to see the two of them together he approached the lady and started hinting about many things, more or less telling her how she should be behaving in the marriage. She shrugged it all off - until the next time and soon realised that he knew quite a few things that he should not know. She was devastated that either of these men thought that this was the correct way to deal with a problem.

What would any of you do if your spouse handled something really private that way and how do you think the pastor should have handled it once he had this information?
---Rita_H on 5/18/15


There's a joke: "Now you've stopped preaching, pastor, and have started meddling."

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/18/15


Matthew 28 describes the process. A pastor should not be talking to one spouse and not the other. The pastor can talk to each individually but not exclusively. "One seems right until both sides of the story are told"
---Scott1 on 5/18/15


Read These Insightful Articles About Holidays


Copyright© 1996-2015 ChristiaNet®. All Rights Reserved.