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Saved With Atheist Partner

I have been with my atheist partner for 8 years and we have 3 children. I have never been in love with him or felt attracted to him and had always planned to eventually leave him. But then I unexpectedly became a Christian. Should I marry him or leave him?

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 ---Emma on 8/5/16
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You planned on leaving him but had three children with him????

Are you kidding??
---NurseRobert on 8/14/16


Beloved sister in Christ. My advice to you is pray , fast and pray , listen to that still small voice . I take it your born again but not sure your spirit filled {baptized in Holy Spirit} do your self a favor and read the first four gospels Matthew ,Mark, Luke and John straight through and pay attention to WHAT JESUS SAID. Your answer to your situation is there between you and Jesus. His advice is best.
---Robin on 8/12/16


Your children are under the Curse ????????????????????????????

Romans 3:10 As it is written , There are none righteous, no not one :

( All of mankind is under the curse )

Just Wrong !
---RichardC on 8/11/16


1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife . . . else were your children unclean, but now are they holy.

Now your children are under the curse of the bastard. (Don't get mad. Do the research.) Start here: Dt 23:2, Heb 12:8

If you are TRULY saved (i.e., Holy Spirit indwelling), you can save your partner by marrying him, AND you can remove the curse (after marriage to their father) by apolgizing to God for conceiving outside marriage, and repenting.

After marriage, you will still have to ask God to remove the curse, because you have repaired your disobedience.
---aservant on 8/10/16


"Pray and open yourself to His guidance." Emma I now realize that this advice, contributed by me, and directed towards you, was unnecessary. Your maturity and openness to Fathers Divine influence is evident in this statement, "But praise God that he brought me to salvation". I say that because there are people, based on what I've heard over time, that actually seem to think that they some how contributed to their own salvation, as evident in their statement, "I got saved" on such in such date. So Emma my final statement to you concerning this is trust the Father that He will continue to guide and influence you in the way He would have you to travel through this life, in this and all things.
---josef on 8/10/16




"I stand by my comments" As well you should Pg1.
My apologies if I gave you the impression that I was arguing your truth, I was simply conveying my own, and what it was based on, the challenge issued was uncalled for on my part. My statement on 8/8 should have ended with "I have made no such attempt, I simply referenced a biblical fact."
---josef on 8/9/16


Emma....You need to stop living a life of fornication. You know what you should do. Do it.
---KarenD on 8/8/16


I stand by my comments
---Pg1 on 8/8/16


Corrections, However, [feel] free to point out to me where Father changed His standard of a man joining with a woman and becoming one flesh is marriage. [That] copulating [equals] marriage in other words:o)
---josef on 8/8/16


"Josef You are making reference to OT customs and practices that have changed throughout the centuries and attempting to pass them off as God's standard for modern times.---pg1 on 8/8/16
I have made no such attempt, I simply referenced a biblical fact. However, fell free to point out to me where Father changed His standard of a man joining with a woman and becoming one flesh in marriage. Copulating the marriage in other words:o)
---josef on 8/8/16




Josef
You are making reference to OT customs and practices that have changed throughout the centuries and attempting to pass them off as God's standard for modern times.
---pg1 on 8/8/16


P.S Lynn, I wasn't referring specifically to your being married to him in the Father's eyes, but rather in the sense of the "common law" of marriage that exist in modern society,(assuming that you have lived with "your partner" during that time), which states cohabiting couples are legally considered married, without having formally registered their relation as a civil or religious marriage, if cohabiting for a certain length of time. You will honor the Father by forgetting those things which are behind you, and reaching forth unto those things that He has before you. There is nothing that you can do to change the past, whether you should marry or leave him, should come from within. Pray and open yourself to His guidance.
---josef on 8/8/16


"Josef So by that... I'm 'married' to .... The person I lost my virginity to? " Yes
"If someone has had sexually intercourse.... that ... remarrying each time?"---Emma on 8/8/16" No. That would be like committing adultery over and over again. Fortunately Father does not hold us responsible for what we do not know. Like Jesus said to the Pharisees in so many words, If you were blind, to that fact, you have committed no sin., and this prayer can be received by you, as applicable to you, "Forgive them Father, for they no not what they do." Besides, the law was never meant to condemn us, but rather to lead us to Christ. Now that you are in Christ, yield yourself to His empowerment.
---josef on 8/8/16


Josef

So by that logical, in Gods eyes, am I not 'married' to the person I first slept with? The person I lost my virginity to? If someone has had sexually intercourse with say 5 different people, that would be like divorcing and remarrying each time?
---Emma on 8/8/16


In many states you would be common in law married. Since you have children. So it does not depend on how you feel. But the laws of your state.

Josef is correct.

Agape
---Samuelbb7 on 8/8/16


"Please point to Scripture that says cohabitation without making it legal is considered marriage." Please point to one that says it is not.
In the Fathers eyes, consensual intercourse, freely engaged without monetary considerations, between a man and a woman constitutes a marriage. Examples: "Isaac brought (Rebekah) into his mother Sarahs tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, And it came to pass in the evening, that (Laban) took Leah his daughter, and brought her to (Jacob), and he went in unto (took her, or had intercourse with) her," and Leah became Jacob's wife. There is no mention of any formal ceremony or legal documentation being necessary. Gen 24:67>Gen 29:23
---josef on 8/7/16


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Please point to Scripture that says cohabitation without making it legal is considered marriage. I cohabitated for nine years and not once did The Lord ever tell me to marry that unsaved man. Not once did He or any believer tell me he was already my husband because we were living together.It was quite the oppsite. The Lord said not to marry him.
---Pg1 on 8/7/16


Emma tell him the truth, If you haven't already, then if you truly "wish to honor God" in all you do, your answer is written. "And the woman which has a husband, [and don't be deceived, if you have live and laid with him for eight years, and bore him three children, you are his wife], that believes not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. However, "if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God has called 'us' (believers) to peace." 1 Cor 7:13-15
---josef on 8/7/16


Prayer is the only answer and it is, almost certain what God has been wanting you to do for many years but, as a non-believer, you were not aware of that.

NOW you must seek His will for your life. Tell your 'husband' how you became saved and ask God to save him also. What a fabulous future you will have if both of you are Christians, you marry and go through life as a Christian family. Encourage faith in God in your children and, even if Dad isn't interested yet, he might see how wonderful the change has been in you and (possibly) the children you have had together.

Personally, I think that leaving him will be a disaster for everyone of you but seek God on this.
---Rita_H on 8/7/16


When I said I unexpectedly became a Christian What I mean was, becoming a Christian was something I never imagined would happen. I was an atheist and had no time for the church and considered Christianity to be illogical. But praise God that he brought me to salvation.

I do wish to honor God in all I do. However, it's difficult to keep up the lie that I am in love with him and that I desire him sexually when I just don't.

My other issue is that he has been married and divorced (for non biblical reasons) before.
---Emma on 8/7/16


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Becoming a christian and geting saved by giving your life to Jesus are two different things, how is your heart? A new creation? Washed by the blood of Jesus? That atheist you have in your house, you have been joined together since your first love and body intimacy, you have the evidence, those children, win your family to Christ, John 10:10 , Jesus came that we may have life in abundance, not leave our spouses. Love one another.
---Lilian on 8/7/16


Scripture tells us not to be unequally yoked. You are a Christian. He is not. You also stated that you are not in love with him. Don't ignore the obvious answer. It would be different if you were already married. You have no oblgation to stay in the relationship. How can two walk together except they agree?
---Pg1 on 8/7/16


"But now I have become a Christian I can't make a decision purely on what I want to selfishly do, God comes first.
---Emma on 8/6/16"
Exactly. Listen to that still small voice within, the voice of your conscience, allow it to guide you. The answer to your question is internal, not external. Set your course in life by faith, as an unwavering confidence in, and reliance upon the Father revealed will, principles, and promises for the life of His children, not by sight, as that which is revealed to you based on the external perceptions, and carnal desires of your senses.
---josef on 8/6/16


When we first got together I had very low self esteem and little support. I decided he was a nice guy and he managed to convince me he would make me happy. We had our first child very soon after. I was very straight with him from the start and told him about my lack of attraction for him. I even told him I would probably end up cheating on him.
As the time went on I started to tell him the attraction and love was growing because I felt mean telling him otherwise. I have been living a lie. In my hearts of hearts I knew I couldn't go on like this forever I would have to eventually leave him. Maybe when the children got older. But now I have become a Christian I can't make a decision purely on what I want to selfishly do, God comes first.
---Emma on 8/6/16


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Well you must have had at least three bursts of friendliness if you have three children, don't you think?

Why have you been living with him if you don't love him?

How do you "unexpectedly" become a Christian?

If you are really a Christian, you know what you should do.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 8/6/16


My best advice would be to marry him, love him, and hope that your sterling example of Christ will lead him to Christ
---Monk_Brendan on 8/6/16


How did you unexpectedly become a Christian Emma?
---Leon on 8/6/16


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