No Women Since My Heart Attack
After heart attack no women want me. I'm on this date site+others. Massive heart attack 3 years ago, my heart fairly damaged & limits my activities. Am a good Christian w/my spiritual heart in tack. Have great talks with women until I tell about my heart, then they drop me like a hot potatoe. Really hurts.
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---Jim on 4/4/05
Helpful Blog Vote (9)
Hi Jim, Maybe you are telling too much too soon. Get to know people first then share more information. After people learn something about you(kind, christian, loving man) then they may be willing to stick around longer even if you are not in the best of health. The bible tells us to draw persons with kindess. Increase your kindness and decrease telling too much ,too soon. Read James chap 3. It tells us about that little pink thing between our teeth that can do so much damage. Happy hunting....
---Robyn on 5/31/07|
Another point: People are also leary of sickness/illness. They don't want another doctor bill on their hands or a patient. In other words someone to take care of. Most people are already swamped with too many responsibilities. Are you on disability?Social security? Do you own your own home? You might need to drop this into the conversation with the women. If you know what I mean......blessings.
---Robyn on 5/31/07|
I read your blog and I would like you to meet my mom. She gets the same reaction as you when she tells people her medical condition, rhematoid arthritis. She has prayed for someone special to come into her life and she does not know that I am doing this. My mom is 54 year old black woman, 5'3, single, very sweet, cute, and funny, she is a christian, lives in fort worth texas, if you are interested email me and I will inform her.
---Tangie on 5/31/07|
Becky...some very well put questions and comments, and it's true, we often view ourselves as worse off than we are. My main handicaps come from being overweight, which alot can be done to change. People with bad hearts are also encouraged to exercise within reason.
---Kristine on 4/15/05|
Jim...are you sure it's not the five children that are scaring the women away?? lol Dealing with the after effects of a heart attack seems mild compared to raising five children.
God Bless you!
---Teach on 4/9/05|
Jim, is there nothing you can do through diet exercise and therepy to strengthen your heart? Sometimes we say too much too soon. Surely you can meet people other than on a site. Also think of developing strong male friendships and maybe the need for a woman in your life will diminish. We need friends of the same gender.
What things does it limit you to do? Surely you can still walk. Can you swim? Can you ride a bike? Can you go bowling? Can you go fishing?
Can you read,watch movies, do board games, go to church,worship,pray? Sometimes we limit ourselves by how we view ourselves.
---becky on 4/7/05|
What has happened to you is common. I, too, am disabled, and am out of sync with any dating scene. I feel that someone with a similar problem would be more understanding, after all, like understands like. We disabled folks should have our own "clubs". Maybe your church can be of help finding someone who would be more understanding. Meanwhile, be your own best friend, and keep Jesus at your side. Best wishes!
---Kristine on 4/6/05|
HI Everyone. I wrote the blog. Thank you for replying to my blog. I wasnt able to include more information due to number of word restrictions. I am a 47 yr old white male that lives in the Rochester, NY area. I have 5 beautifull children.
---Jim on 4/5/05|
Jim I have had the same problem. Having had a serious illness in the past and 2 divorces I find that when I tell all I don't get an anwser. However, I am secure in God's love and His intent for me is to be faithful and serve Him. God loves me just the way I am and He loves me today. The past is past. It is today that is important. I wish you God's blessings and keep looking to Him for the answers to your heart's desire. I feel that people that have gone thru a lot of hard times have a great deal of depth and I find them very interesting.
---Karen on 4/4/05|
If a person is afraid to be friends with someone who may have health problems then they are more concerned about their own happiness than others. Maybe if you told your age, it would help to receive more 'mature' friends. Sometimes a woman has been through tough times with a husband who was ill a long time before death, and she is afraid of having to go through that again. I know the feeling, but don't think that is enough to stop a new friendship. Just keep holding on and trusting in our Lord for His perfect plan.
---Jean on 4/4/05|
I know how you feel. I'm disabled with Fibromyalgia, good days & really painful days. I'm 57 & haven't dated in 14 yrs. It's taught me much needed humility & given me the opportunity to really know God. He provides me with everything I need & more because I know that He is all I need. When he thinks I'm ready, He'll put that soul mate before me. Pray and be patient. God loves you.
---Sherrie on 4/4/05|
Well,as a born again Christian female I empathize with what you are experiencing. I own a worship cd that I use for my morning devotions and it is relaxing background music when reading and responding to email.
Haven't you heard people who are in relationships say there are times when they experience loneliness.
God says he will never leave us or forsake us.We won't be lonely in Heaven.
---kathy on 4/4/05|
I have found the same since I fell and injured my hips ,no one wants you. I feel completely alone in this world ,so please write me Eva
---Eva on 4/4/05|
Yes...it hurts. But at least you know who you really can trust and depend on in times of troubles.
---Jeanette on 4/4/05|
My ex-fiancee was 11 YOUNGER then me, had several problems and was going to be in a wheel chair later in life. It didnt matter to me, I loved him and would take care of him as long as he would be faithful to me he failed there. More then one time. So I ended it. He had it made with me. I am not ugly. I had more energy then he did. my savings is gone FOR HIM. Faithful to him. Its been a year now and I STILL havent gone out. If you love someone it is for better or worse sickness or health.BUT, NOT cheating. God will give me my soul mate,and he will you too sir.Jan4876
---Jan on 4/4/05|
Hello Jim, just remember at least you got a heart....most men I meet don't have one. Hang in there, God knows your needs before you even ask.....but he does say to ask and believe...and he'll give you your hearts desire.
---Pardoned_2 on 4/4/05|
Remember to pray for the right mate and wait on God. He will provide her if your heart is pure. My husband of 20 years died 3 years ago after a 9 year illness, so I can see both sides. God bless and I will also keep you in my prayers.
---Barri on 4/4/05|
Dear Jim, I work with a Doc. who practices in Seattle WA, past Pres. of American Heart Assoc., Board Certified in Emergency Medicine (ran a trauma ER center for many years); also certified in Hollistic medicine. A wonderful believer. I don't know how sceptical you are about natural means of helping the heart, but if you want to learn what works for us, I have a CD on a cardiovascular "rejuvenative" I can send, developed by 1 of 3 experts on the subject in the world. This doesn't answer your romance question directly--my hope would be to help your heart heal in both respects if I can.
---Judi on 4/4/05|
Don't take it personally. I don't know how old you are, but remember older women have their own health issues to deal with. Most of them don't want to become involved with men who may become invalids, and require the wife to take care of them, therefore,they are careful not to have a serious relationship with someone who may be disabled. I'm sorry they hurt you,but don't blame them for looking out for their future, and using wisdom in their choices in life, and knowing their limitations.
---Darlene_1 on 4/4/05|
I have found the same thing. I do not believe that it is you as such but their fear of what might happen, try and reasure them that you are in good hands. I had a bypass X4 and I got yelled at after I went extreme mountain bike riding almost 12 mths later. Keep your eyes on God, seek Him for the perfect marriage partner. God bless, Steve...<)))><
---Steve on 4/4/05|