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Women Should Persue A Man

I am a 28 year old young woman, who had about 3 dates in my life, I want to be married, but there are no men my age in our church. I do not believe in persuing men what should I do?

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 ---susan on 4/13/05
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---jean on 7/20/07

I was never a persuer of men but I found myself being caught up with them. Until I rededicated my life back to Christ. And since I've been sold out, I've dated one guy and now I don't date. We have to wait on God when it comes to a mate. The bible says that a man that finds a wife, finds a good thing. As single Christians, we should not be dating just to date. We should date with a purpose to marry! I don't condemn you if you don't think that way because it took me awhile to get to that point as well!!! So, just pray about it and let the Lord lead you!
---Nikki on 5/6/07

How serious are you about wanting to meet someone, you have stated that your local contacts are limited. Use the personal system on ChristiaNet, BigChurch or ChristianCafe or one of the other matching services. Write a good narrative profile telling people who you are, what you are about, and what you are looking for in an suitor, paint an empressive word picture the longer the better. Make sure you have a high quality facial photo edited off line. Use the custom search features and initiate contacts.
---phia4633 on 6/30/05

Dear Susan, the Bible tells us not to be anxious of nothing.I don't think you are too old to start being anxious the Lord will never withhold anything good to them that love Him.So just be involved in church activities and pray about it and i tell you your mate will just come your way.esthe9688
---Esther on 6/30/05

My wife and I were 28 when we were married, the first time for both of us. It was as though God was saving her for me. We both were seeking for God's direction in our lives. When we met we didn't really think it was going to happen. We celebrated 25 years of marriage last December. God is faithful, so keep trusting him in everything.
---Jim on 5/15/05

I am searching for a God fearing woman. Let is both continue our prayers in this manner. Even when I was a boy,I loved it when I knew that a Girl had a crush on me,and I would let her catch me. God created emotions and I do not believe it is wrong for a woman to pursue a man for the reasons of Love,and desire for Marriage and romance. Pure God created,romantic Love. A gift from God it is. Read in the Bible,the Book,SONG OF SOLOMON. Beautiful romantic poetry between a husband and wife. Read what the Woman is saying to her husband. I am jay9897.
---Jay on 4/29/05

Dear susan,it has been said that a man chases a woman until she catches him.Somewhere there is a man hoping to find a woman like you.If you don't show him you're interested how will he know?Pray about it and be alert to who God sends.
---RUSSELL on 4/24/05

Well, if u think 28 is hard, u should reach my age w/o a husband, ooo. I question the fact of why the Lord does not bring me a mate either. I think I take very good care of myself, involved in church. So what is wrong, am a widow of 7yrs.
---mariana on 4/24/05

I have a similar problem,but I have no problem with a woman who would pursue me. I wish one would. God is not going to just give us a mate without our being willing to take steps ourselves to find one among the proper groups of people,with whom he has placed us. And maybe your age criteria is to stringint.
---Jay on 4/23/05

I have men and women friends, its a good balance. We often talk about what God would have us to do to find a mate, if its meant to be. Its good to have a male and a female perspective. I am presently seeing a friend of one of our 'group' who came with him one evening when we all met for dinner. I don't think it was a 'set up', but we hit it off and he is a nice Christian man. I'm 37, its difficult to meet men my age bracket without too much baggage! Nothing serious, but we'll see what happens!
---Kathay on 4/14/05

I have to agree with Nikki. I'm a mother of a 27 yr. old. She will not date just to date and she doesn't feel that having male "friends" is a good idea. She would rather just have close female friends to confide until she's married. At her age I had two children and was not brought up to pray for my husband or to pray about a husband. I married the man I loved and we just knew we'd figure out how to make it. We didn't consider God for many years and we had some very hard times. I am so proud of my daughter. Of course as a Mom I'm getting anxious for her to marry and have children.
---gayne on 4/13/05

Hi Susan, I know how u feel. I am also letting the Lord lead me to my partner....or my partner to me. The thing I have found is, how are u going to find out who is the one for u unless u do date.... be friends..get to know each other...and always keep God in the center of the relationship...he will keep u and him on track. go to christian church. Or u never know, could be right in ur own neighborhood....sometimes, when we get our eyes off our future partner, and on the Lord, He just comes along....ur sis Debbie
---Debbie on 4/13/05

Only three dates implies that there are no men in your area or you are unapproachable or you need to work on your appearance. Task should be to get involved in ministeries and activities that put you with some people your age. Smile and people will smile back. Be positive in conversations. Work on the weakest area of your appearance. Enhance your strongest area. Go.
---John on 4/13/05

Hi Kristine,

There are several reputable routes that you can take without "chasing" such as singles groups through churches and Christian singles nets. These are no guarantees and the same precautions need to be heeded via Christian singles groups and nets as any other. Simply put, there are good and bad folks involved in about everything, including church groups. However, I found very wholesome fellowship, overall, and wasn't made to feel like I was on a hunting expidition.

God bless!
- Pastor Don in New Mexico
---Don on 4/13/05

If there are no men INSIDE your church, then you have to look OUTSIDE your church. Do you know people from other churches that might have a good singles group or that get together for movies or bowling, etc? Also ask yourself: "If I were a man, would I want to date me"? Honestly appraise what you have to give to a relationship -- do not compromise Christian values - but see if you meet/address the areas of their greatest interest. An old quote says: "a man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him, than he is in a woman who has pretty legs"!
---Anthony on 4/13/05

Hello, the word "pursuing" sounds too much like "chasing" to me. Why not think of it more as meeting people...making friends with people who happen to be men? It's a more positive way of looking at things. There's nothing wrong or unnatural about your wish to want to meet a nice young man, and hopefully some day marry and have a family. If there are no elligible men in your church, there may be men elsewhere...night education courses, civic clubs anywhere, everywhere. Prayer also helps. God bless. Kris
---Kristine on 4/13/05

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Women have always pursued men, they just don't show it. If I were single, I'd join Christian groups, city wide choirs, study groups, singles clubs, travel clubs, take cruises sponsered by well known ministers or Gospel singers, do volunteer work with Charity groups who have men involved.You must enlarge the borders of your life to expand into new areas. Check on the internet for information what groups have the most single men. Bible says you have not because you ask not,it's Spiritual, but also applies to asking men to meet for coffee, even in a group.Don't be shy. Pray for God to lead and go for it.
---Darlene_1 on 4/13/05

You don't have to "pursue" a man but you can make friend with a man and let things fall in place by themselves.
---Albert on 4/13/05

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart! I'm sure you've thrown yourself before the Lord pleading for a man at this point, am I right? (I did). So, relax knowing it's in God's hands, and be content in the moment. Look on the bright side of being single. Enjoy the freedom of an undivided heart, and plenty of time to spend with the Lord. Build your relationship with God. When the Lord feels you are ready, you'll be surprised how quickly things move. Hang in there!
---Katie on 4/13/05

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