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Catholic and Protestant Marriage

When you start dating do you think that you should date and marry someone that goes to the same denomination as you? Do you think that its ok for a catholic to marry a free methodist?

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If you haven't married yet. I think its very smart to search out and find a spouse that has similar beliefs as you. It could save a lot of angst in the relationship and it is much better for future children not to be torn between two faiths or between a believer and non-believer. One should also ask a lot of questions while dating and know what you are looking for. I was straight up with my wife while dating and explained to her that i was looking for a wife that would attend church with me and grow in faith together. that appealed to her and she embraced it and we ended up marrying.
---Aaron on 2/14/09

Hi, It is not God that created divisions but people. Surely it is evil to marry someone you don't love, just because they are the right religion, i married my wife because i loved her not because of her religion. If you declare that you wouldn't marry someone of a different faith then it stands to reason that youwill marry because a person fits a preconceived mould, not out of love.
---doc on 2/12/09

I am a Catholic very happily married to a woman who was raised in a Baptist church. My wife was persecuted within her church and now attends a pentecostal church. We have a beautiful son who has been baptised in the Catholic church and who attends both churchs, he will find his own path when the time is right.

My wife and i have grown, and continue to grow together in faith. We now pray together regularly and everything about her life is blessed. We attend church together.

It is important to pray and obey the will of God, he will show you the partner you should marry. All things are possible with Him and it is not for us, his children, to limit his will. I am praying for you and your boyfriend.

God Bless you.
---doc on 2/12/09

I am a Protestant (grew up in the Reformed/Presbyterian tradition, though I currently attend a Baptist church), and I am in a relationship with a wonderful Catholic man right now, who is a believer. (So clearly, this is an issue I have thought about quite a bit...) I believe that if both parties share the common bond of Jesus Christ as Lord, then dating/marriage, with work, commitment, love, and prayer, is acceptable between a Catholic and a Protestant.
---jmthom on 10/19/08

REf:Laura:11/05/07. I'm in Love with a Protestant, I'm Catholic. I hope we marry. I didn't choose my faith. It was inherited. Everyone's is. To make "Potential children" an obstacle to your own happiness is crazy. If I'm blessed with children -THEY decide, just as I did at my Confirmation. God does NOT recognise man made obstacles. If you love Him, you are duty bound to love the person exactly the same way. This may sound harsh but in order to love your children firstly you must love what God has made you and the beautiful union between the two in love overrides everything. So, Love your God, your partner, the rest will follow.
---Tony_Kelly on 10/11/08

Having a born again and catholic marriage is workable but difficult, it will depend on the where the strong side is, if the born again partner is strong in faith big possibility it will work out. Still, if you are single BA christian and you have a non-BA partner not advisable 2 marry, especially if she has a closed mind and heart, you'll know in the relationship if she has closed heart. If you alrdy married, BA and a non-BA again partner, the work is uphill climb you will need prayer and the God's word 2 endure, God will make a way, allthings work together 4 good. In any marriage communication & understanding the key, put issues together and meet at the center, hopefully, what you agree is in accordance to the infallible word of God
---ral on 7/16/08

jazqara, 9 years? wow, remember 1 Cor 7:9 "it is better to marry than to burn (with lust)", or God forbid, to succumb.
---Todd1 on 5/28/08

WowHolly::You are still not antiquicated by standards, you have much get up and expressed by vim and vigour oops forgot Vinegar.I do know,a bit of your backdrop.God bless you Holly.
---Emcee on 5/27/08

Thank you for your prayers and kind sentiments Emcee! I will definitely take the Godly, loving husband, however, I am tad bit past the child bearing age! I am 50 and no longer able to bear children...which is fine with me since I have a 28 and 23 year old and a 1 1/2 yr old grandson...I've done my tour of duty! And Emcee...bantering with you keeps me young and in my Bible!
---Holly4jc on 5/26/08

I'm not a Catholic, and my husband is not pentecostal. That would be an unequally yoked marriage. I think a charismatic Catholic and a pentecostal could get along though.
My husband came out of the Church of Christ, a very legalistic denomination. No instruments, no this, no that, but Church of Christ-ers have no problem jumping in their pickups, turning the radio on immediately. That's strange, isn't it.
---lisa on 5/26/08

Holly :: You are indeed a very nice lady loyal,that is a rare attribute I also pray you find a man to compliment you with equal devotion desire and steadfastness,who will love honour cherish you as his wife his sweetheart and Mother of His children.Blessings PS then the heat will be off you fighting with me Kidding XX:-)
---Emcee on 5/26/08

Only if one denomination gets shorted. How can a true Catholic marry a true Protestant. Esp if you have children. Either you will bapized the babies or you wait as the Protestants do. To me the only way both can remain married if one gives up part of his or her faith. If the Methodist is willing to pray the rosary as a family. Okay.
Or if the Catholic is willing to baptize their kids much later okay.
But, my question is which Bible are they are going to use. The one with 73 books or 66 books?
---Nicole on 5/26/08

I am married to a pentecostal man. I am Catholic. The great thing about it is we are both Christian. He loves the Lord and so do I. Most all Christians Love the Lord and worship Him as the Gospel says.
Those of you who set discord here should be ashamed of yourselves.
One Lord One Spirit One Eternal Father. Jesus Christ.Everything hinges on Him! Thank you Jesus for my husband!
---lisa on 5/26/08

i am a 31 yr old catholic, my girlfriend who ive been in a relationship with for nine years is a born again christian. we love each other very much. she was born a catholic, when she went to work in another country, she found God through the born again community,it was our faith and love that kept us together, after nine years we are still together. we just keep praying, i know in my heart that love will prevail, God will show the way. Godbless
---jazgara on 5/10/08

Hello, I have a similar problem as some of you have pointed out in this blog. My girlfirend is catholic while I am a baptist, we both are serious believers. When two people meet and fall in love, isn't God's guidance involved, especially when both believe in Jesus Christ?
---George on 4/4/08

1) Emcee...I only want what God wants and I will accept and be grateful for whomever He brings into my life for marriage. But, God is the one who said we should not be unequally yoked, and to marry a practicing Catholic would be in violation of God's Word. God does not go against His Word. I have been waiting and praying for a very long time and the some of the attributes I have been praying for in a mate (Christian man) are not those that would be found in a man who is practicing Catholicism.
---Holly4jc on 3/26/08

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2) I know that God has great plans for me in ministry with my future spouse and as the Bible says:

Amos 3:3
Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

And thank you Frances for your encouraging words! :-)
---Holly4jc on 3/26/08

Holly::If God sent you a catholic man would you then refuse His Guidance.I wonder what excuse you would give?Just a simple thought?
---Emcee on 3/26/08

Holly, may God provide you with a wonderful partner (Protestant and a genuine one!)
---frances008 on 3/26/08

I personally would not date a Catholic, since I am protestant. (Actually I don't date anyway, I am waiting on the Lord to provide my mate). The differences in beliefs are way too different. And the Bible says to not be "unequally yoked" and this combination would be entering into this situation that the Bible says not to get into. Now I would marry someone who is an ex-Catholic, for then we would be on the same wave-length.
---Holly4jc on 3/26/08

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Wow, after reading these posts I'm wondering now more than before. You see I'm a Christian and I've just married a Muslim woman who I love very much. I never really thought of the confusion that children might have. But we are both certain that God has put us together. I'm sure he has a plan to work it out for us too.
---Arthur on 3/26/08

I was brought Anglican, but never taken to church as a child. I later became a Baptist & then I met & married a Roman catholic. Our son was baptised Anglican.
It is the non-church going catholics that seem to have the problem,which they use my son's "spiritual upbringing' as the attack, which is now causing a divide. My family are not christians & do not care!
---Lee on 3/26/08

My girlfriend is a Roman Catholic and I am a protestant. We've already encountered opposition despite our deep commitment and love. When we are all sitting before judgment, surely God will smile on those who attempted to unite Christians. Some people hold tired man-made traditions higher than the beautiful Christian love that God graced me and my girlfriend with.
---Tom on 2/10/08

I am a Junior at a private, catholic college, although I myself am not Catholic. I consider myself a Christian but do not belong to any denomination in particular. My girlfriend is Catholic along with her entire family... Im afraid of what her grandparents and parents will think when they find out im not Catholic. What should I do?... we really care about each other alot.
---Tyler on 12/6/07

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Please have this thought above all else said here. PUT YOURSELF IN THE POSITION OF YOUR POTENTIAL CHILDREN. Most likely if you keep both your faiths your children will have NO FAITH- and it WON'T be their fault. Its not good either to get rosy-eyed and think it will all work out somehow- it usually doesn't. Statistics show this. It is a VERY selfish and unkind thing to do to children giving them no SOLID spiritual life when that is THE very essense of life. Love means putting others first.
---Laura on 11/15/07

From my personal experience, the division can be felt once you have kids. What church will the children go to? Will they get baptized Catholic and go to Catechism? It also makes it hard when the children get older. Are the two of you willing to attend the others church occasionally? Is the spouse who isn't Catholic going to feel OK not taking the Communion? These are all questions I feel must be answered BEFORE you commit to marriage. God Bless You!
---Sumiko on 11/2/07

Yes, If she is willing to follow her husbands faith whether he be Catholic or Protestant. If she is not willing to follow his faith then No. This I think is biblical concerning Gods order.
---Marcia on 7/11/07

The divisions that regrettably exist between Christian communities should not affect the unity of a marriage between two baptized Christians. Rather than splitting up families of differing confessions further, a mixed marriage should be an occasion when all Christians can come together despite their divisions, according to the Lords prayer "that they may all be one" (Jn. 17:21).
---Matilda on 7/11/07

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Thank you Emcee for offering your advice to me based on your life experiences. And thank you again Caring for your support and for validating my beliefs and choices. Your response made me feel good.
---Chris on 3/12/07

Chris, I think that many of those on here can use some advises from you instead of you from them.

You'll get anything from "good boy" to "you're disobeying God" statements from here.

Ignore the negative replies and follow your conscience which I think it's heading towards the right direction.

Seek the advice of a good priest who knows you.
---Caring on 3/11/07

Chris & intended ::I am the last one to fault a union in LOVE which is Christ. I just pointed out pitfalls that I have seen in my life time,which incidentally You asked for.I offer you my Congratulations & love of Him who has asked us to share that Love May you both Have a long & prosperous life the wisdom of God is greater than the supposed wisdom of sinful man.Peace & love be with Both.Mine lasted54 years hope yours is longer.
---Emcee on 3/11/07

Mima, Why you think my fiance and I are unequally yoked without ever having met or talked to us? And why do you think we are unequally yoked? I dont think I have convinced myself that up means down. Please look at 1 Corinthians 4:5 before you condemn a Catholic-Protestant relationship.

1 Corinthians 4:5 Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time, wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of mens hearts.
---Chris on 3/11/07

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Thank you Caring and Marya3575 for your love, support, and open mindedness. It is always a breath of fresh air to be accepted and not be judged by other Christians. Your comments really meant a lot to me. Thank you.
---Chris on 3/11/07

Emcee, You are right that there are some simple differences in the beliefs of Catholics and Protestants. However, in my opinion, the differences you cited are differences that can lead to a better understanding of Christian faith when openly discussed. The number of children we have is not a concern for either of us. As for birth control, Catholics believe in natural family planning which is different from birth control avoidance.
---Chris on 3/11/07

Emcee (cont.), As for raising our children, we plan on teaching them Christian religion rather than indoctrinating them with a Christian religion. We will likely choose a single church and after each message teach them how other Christian religions might interpret the message and let them decide on their own which viewpoint to accept.
---Chris on 3/11/07

Emcee (cont.), Both the methods of Confession and the role of Communion (aka Holy Eucharist) are both Bible based beliefs that each religion interprets differently, and we will likely let our children choose how they think those verses should be interpreted. And for schools, it really doesnt matter to us, if we end up living in a good neighborhood, we will probably just send them to public school.
---Chris on 3/11/07

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Emcee (cont.), And lastly, we will probably say many different prayers with our children both traditional Catholic prayers and we will teach them how to have conversations with God. Ill admit that I may not have all the best answers, and my beliefs on what different verses mean change as I learn more. I have found that by keeping an open mind and an open heart, that I can more fully do Gods will for me.
---Chris on 3/11/07

Emcee (cont.), I think that the beliefs that unite Protestants and Catholics are far greater than the differences that divide us. Food for thought: Ephesians 4:12-14 Until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching...
---Chris on 3/11/07

Helen 5378, You are right to say It is what God says that matters. However, I do not see myself as disobeying the Lord by planning to marry a Protestant. 2 Corinthians 6:17 is referring to unbelievers. I dont see Catholics or Protestants as unbelievers. Perhaps look at Colossians 3:14 Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.
---Chris on 3/11/07

Chris::while Catholic & protestant are alike yet they are different in the simple yet important things of daily Life>to name a few Children,their upbringing & your responsibility as a catholic Or as a Protestant Number of Children.Birth control avoidance of Childrenwhich church doctrine will you follow acknowledgment of Confession Holy Eucharist what schols will you chose for them.As a family which ich church will you attend what prayers will you say together will you incorporate Mary as your mother.
---Emcee on 3/10/07

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Chris::while Catholic & protestant are alike yet they are different in the simple yet important things of daily Life>to name a few Children,their upbringing & your responsibility as a catholic Or as a Protestant Number of Children.Birth control avoidance of Childrenwhich church doctrine will you follow acknowledgment of Confession Holy Eucharist what schols will you chose for them.As a family which ich church will you attend what prayers will you say together will you incorporate Mary as your mother.
---Emcee on 3/10/07

You are not "unevenly yoked" if you marry another Christian. In spite of what many protestants believe Catholics ARE Christian. If everyone were as intelligent and open minded as the both of you are we would have a much better world of true loving Christians and the hope of turning many more of the lost to Christianity. The Catholic Church has come a long way in the past 50 years and advocates Bible study and evangelism. Pray about your relationship together. God will give you the answer.
---marya3575 on 3/10/07

Chris, very mature statements from a young person. I commend you for your mentality adn true Christian spirit.
---Caring on 3/10/07

---Chris it is very difficult to argue that UP means DOWN. But continue on, perhaps You have convinced yourself. Scriptures tell us " do not be unequally YOKED together". But continue on, perhaps you will learn to see in the darkness.
---Mima on 3/10/07

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Chris - ("..and have been forced to defend each others faith to people who think that what we are doing is wrong") -- Chris, it is not what people think that matters. It is what God says that matters. You are in disobedience to God according to 2 Corinthians 6:14-17. "Come out from among them and be separate" is what God says. If you are born-again then you must obey God and leave your fiancee. Anybody who tells you otherwise is lying to you.
---Helen_5378 on 3/10/07

Val, that is precisely why we have so many divorces. If you want to have a good marriage, do NOT date anyone that you would not consider marrying if your courtship is successful. Date three times, by the third date, you will know if you have a potential marriage partner or not. Then you court to see if you are compatible and if you discover that the relationship will not proceed to marriage within a reasonable time frame, say 18 months, break it off completely. Do not proceed on a may be.
---lorra8574 on 3/9/07

I am a devout Roman Catholic, and my fianc is a devout Protestant. Through our relationship of 4 years, we have probably learned more about God and religion than we have learned in our entire 20+ years of being single. We have talked with my priest and her pastor, done many bible studies, and have been forced to defend each others faith to people who think that what we are doing is wrong.
---Chris on 3/9/07

People need to realize that its not the same religion that will make a good relationship, but rather belief in the same God who loves people regardless of whether they were gentiles or Jews. What makes so many mixed marriages difficult is ignorant people who have indoctrinated, closed minded beliefs, that constantly insist that there religion is the one, true religion and say that the only reason that they dont support a mixed marriage is because they just want what is best for that person.
---chris on 3/9/07

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If they really wanted what is best for someone, they would encourage and support their relationship, instead of nit pick beliefs. If more people researched Catholic and Protestant beliefs (with an open mind and using unbiased sources) and their origins, they would likely find that the seemingly contradictory beliefs are both supported in the Bible. The difference is how we interpret those beliefs. I fully agree that the Bible is without error, but humans do make mistakes.
---Chris on 3/9/07

If you just accept whatever one church teaches you, you wont likely get the full picture. Or better yet, figure out what you believe on your own through reading the Bible (with an open mind of course). Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is, you should never judge or condemn a mixed marriage or a person of a different belief. It is not the job of humans to judge, that is the job for God.
---chris on 3/9/07

You should love all people and treat them how you would like to be treated, regardless of their faith. People in mixed marriages can be happy if you let them. It is really unfortunate that so many people disapprove or think that they are so right. There is a difference between loving God and loving religion and people need to understand that. We are all Gods children.
---chris on 3/9/07

Personally, I think it is important for both marriage partners to be of the same religion. This will make things easier when educating children in the faith. I do not think it is wrong to simply date a person of another denomination because one of you may be converted later on. But if it is a serious relationship heading towards marriage then I think that you should be the same. I wish you the best of luck with your decision and encourage you to pray and consult God on this topic. God Bless.
---Val on 3/5/07

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Put God, of course, before your parents.
My deceased father was Catholic and my mother from a very traditional protestant family. They were very happy together.
As it says in Corinthians 13, you might have faith to move mountains, but if you have no love, your faith is meaningless. It's all about Love at the end of the day!
---Ed on 2/28/07

"I need an unbiased opinion."
---Chris on 2/27/07

Good luck with that. ;)

Why not study the Catholic Church so you'll have a better understanding of it's teachings, Chris? This way you can explain to your parents *why* the Church teaches the things she does and worships the way she does.
---augusta on 2/28/07

I was raised Baptist and have met a Catholic girl. I must admit that I know little about Catholic beliefs. Should I pursue this relationship? My parents are devout baptist and I am not sure how they will take it. I need an unbiased opinion.
---Chris on 2/27/07

I suspect that Catholics and Protestants are often in love with their own religion rather than with Christ. I know lots of mixed marriages where the people love each other very much and produce happy families. It's acutally sad when people rant on against mixed marriages, when in opposing such a thing, they could be helping in denying the Love and happiness that God intends between two people. At the end of the day Christ is about Love, not Protestantism or Catholicism.
---Ed on 2/19/07

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George::"I would never give my Daughter in Marriage to a Catholic""First it is not Your call.Its her life.2nd.Honestly why do you hate CARHOLICS?& have such an aversion to them??Just Being a curious george!!
---Emcee on 2/18/07

I have no idea why you people have a problem with Catholics being married to Protestants. My husband and I were happily married for 20 years. The reason why I say were is because he passed on of malignant brain cancer. I would never ever change what we had for a million years.
---Linda on 2/18/07

Ed: yes love is the most important thing. But for physical partnerships, like marriage or businesses, I would NOT give my daughter to a roman catholic, ever. and I prefer a million times do businesses with no- flags protestants. I could be friends even with the Pope, if he didn't claim authority over me in order to be brothers. catholic people can be nice when they are unaware of their doctrines. if you are aware and are still catholic then I would watch my back.
---george on 2/18/07

MaRK::1st commandment says love thy God.I do not see understand .The reasoning Power given is to enable to guide us on this earth till we become like God.The understanding of God Led to Protestations. The first Ism was born.Jesus instituted the sacrament of Reconciliation.To forgive our sins through the priest & His Power vested in them.If there is no contrition the priest May refuse absolution,so also God will notforgive that is the meaning of loosed on earth will not be loosed in Heaven
---Emcee on 2/18/07

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Emcee: What does it mean "what ever you bind on earth will be bound in Heaven"? Is this a reference to Catholic traditions? Caring: I am sure you have heard a lot against Protestants - I can also assure you that most of what you have heard is a lie. Laura8574: I cannot speak for most Protestant Churches, but I believe if you accept Him, you are saved. Everyone; thank you for your responses. I am NOT pointing fingers...I am trying to gain a better understanding.
---Mark on 2/17/07

It is always good for two people to be of the same faith. I think. Its hard enough to make a go of a marriage and then have to deal with your lack of beliefs, as well.
The denomination does not matter but both should love the Lord and be born again christians. This is my understanding. Without Christ in the marriage you are skating on very thin ice. The ice is a bit thicker with Jesus.
---robyn on 2/17/07

I am Catholic, and my mother Protestant (father: Catholic) and my two closest friends: Protestants. I think it is a good thing that we Catholics and Protestants challenge each other. But at the end of the day Love is more important! My parents have had a very happy marriage, thank God, and always instilled us with Christian Love first, before Catholicism and Protestantism.
---Ed on 2/17/07

I dont see why not? This is a given chance 4u 2 minister the truth 2your partner. In God;'s own time, he/she will make a change and turn to Christ.
---jana on 2/17/07

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Sam, if you truly love him, than continue your relationship. You may want to consider switching to the Catholic Church.

You have probably heard a lot against the RCC - I can assure you that most of what you heard is a lie.
---Caring on 2/16/07

Mark, you say that it is wrong for the Catholic Church to preach its supremacy among the churches, yet how many Protestant denominations believe and teach that all outside of their own denomination are going to Hell. I have encounted many such groups. Further there are many Protestants even on this website that believe that by merely being a member of the Catholic Church we are damned and therefor they must rescue us. So, why is it OK for a Protestant Church but horrible for the RCC?
---lorra8574 on 2/16/07

It can be done, but it isn't wise unless you have fully explored each others family and faith traditions. Right now it is just you, but there will likely be children and there is nothing like a new baby to bring up all of the religious zeal and tradition of your youth. Before you marry, you must discuss baptism and child rearing in terms of religious education, sacraments etc. If you don't, no matter what either of you say now, there will be problems. not only with you but also with your families.
---lorra8574 on 2/16/07

im a member of the Church of Christ and my boyfriend is a RC, growing up i was taught how wrong the cathlic church is, but i didnt know he was cathlic until we were serious, idk what to do, i love him more than any thing( besides God) and i cant see my self with out him, im soo confused
---Sam on 2/16/07

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Mark ::How many Jesus's do you know? I only know one, God the son 2nd Person of the Blessed Trinity,who declared His church under Peter,Matt16;17-18 He was exclusive & so is His Church. Can you point out to me any other which Jesus declared as "MY Church".I would appreciate Chapter & Verse.Catholics do not declare other denominations are wrong. That is for you to Find out we say This RCC is Jesus True & only Church.
---Emcee on 2/11/07

Thank you for the replies. I do have one concern regarding Caring's post. While rare, it is not unheard of for Catholics to bash Protestants. From what I have read, the Catholic Church is anything but accepting of others. They believe their Church is THE Church, and all others are wrong. I find that disheartening, because according to Scripture, if you accept Christ as your Savior, you will have eternal life. Does it really matter what denomination you are? The Catholic Church appears very exclusive.
---Mark on 2/10/07

Interesting note; During the reformation in England if a protestant married a Catholic the Catholic, if male could be hanged, the wife forced to marry a protestant.

When Mary, a Catholic tried to return England to the RCC, Catholic/protestant marrage was reason for a death warrent.
---MikeM on 1/11/07

God created us all in His very image and if He wants you to marry a Catholic or Methodist, He will put it in your heart to do so cos He has a purpose there 4u 2 do so. You could be a witness to her/him n they could b thinking u r the one in darkness. Lets not judge friends. There r many good Cs n Ms out there.
---mam on 1/11/07

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Problems will arise if one of the partners starts denigrating the other's beliefs.

Mark, I'd be more concerned about her than about you because I doubt if she'll denigrate your beliefs. You can learn from what takes place on CN - Protestants attack Catholics' beliefs but Catholics don't attack Protestant beliefs.

Count your blessings that you found a Catholic future wife.
---Caring on 1/11/07

It is not ok for a born-again Christian to marry a Catholic. The Christian would be unequally yoked.
---Helen_5378 on 1/11/07

I continue to have intrapersonal conflicts about dating someone from another denomination. I usually only date Protestants (as I am one), but I am in a serious relationship with a Catholic right now. Currently, it's not a big deal, but I do know that we will encounter problems "if" we desire to get married. But then again, I am stronger in my faith than she is. But in response to the actual question, I think it is okay ... there are just a lot of red tape to be worked out.
---Mark on 1/10/07

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