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I Love My Fiance So Much

I love my fiance so much! When we do spend time together, it's not for very long. He's a christian man who loves the Lord with all his heart. What can I do to spend more time with him outside church functions?

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 ---twinkle on 4/23/05
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Honestly, your blog question does not say very much about the specific in's and out's of the relationship. I only know so much from it. I know that you both go to church functions and you wish to be with him more than you are.
---Justin_in_Cali on 10/24/07

Also, it sounds like you want more time with him... but you are engaged. I, too, recently became engaged and I always want more time with my soon-to-be wife no matter how often we see each other. I try to have other relationships, too, but a majority of my time is with Julie. The point I am trying to make is that most engaged couples are naturally going to want to spend more time with their significant other because (hopefully) they haven't begun to live together and desires grow.
---Justin_in_Cali on 10/24/07

My one piece of advice would be to communicate your desire to be with him more. Let him know that you wish to be with him more than you currently see him. If you can arrange more QUALITY chances to see him, go for it! If it's going to come down to patience in waiting for the wedding day, then so be it. I wish there was an easier answer, but that's all I have. A guy can only share so many words.
---Justin_in_Cali on 10/24/07

Time w/ your fiancee is very important to build a strong relationship. Don't rush into marriage as it could end w/ alot of heart ack. Be honnest, let him know you want to spend more time w/ him outside church as that is where you learn more about each other beyon the church. Money a problem? Then choose things like a park, w/ a packed lunch. A drive in the country enjoying God's creation, walking around down town. You may see things you like, express how you feel about it seeing if he has a comment about it. Until then enjoy what God has Blessed you with. matth3369
---matth3369 on 4/18/07

TWINKLE.. First of all you sound very young and if this is the case then you need to grow up alittle bit and realize that your fiance loves the lord with all his heart! There is nothing wrong with this.Do you see something wrong with that out side of him not spending time with you? Is it so wrong for you to spend quality time at his Church Functions.It sounds that you want something more then time! All I will say to you twinkle that pray for God to direct you with your fiance to the church functions..
---silva on 5/1/05

Talk to him very directly about his- perhaps he's scared he will be tempted outside of a chuurch setting. Ask him directly if this is the way it will be when you're married , or if he has a specific reason for not spending too much time with you outside church? If it is due to temptation , try other christian forums - christian concerts , or maybe get toether with his parents or your parents.
---BeckyH on 5/1/05

Pardon the directness...but have you talked to him about it? If you can talk about things like this now before the marriage..the liklihood of you being able to discuss difficult issues after the aisle are about the same. While its good to spend time together make sure you are being secure in god on your own. Neediness is often a turnoff.
---Heidi on 4/30/05

Twinkle, some of the advices you received may or may not be good for you. It depends how old you are. We older people have more experience and know our limits more than younger ones and from the sound of your voice, you sound quite young.
---Albert on 4/29/05

Agreed Alan. This website has produced a number of people who seem to think we should still provide chaperones for a couple out on a date - seemingly right up to their wedding day. It is with God's help that we will resist temptation, not because another person is looking on. How can anyone ever get to know another person sufficiently to know they want to spend their life with them, if they are never alone to talk freely about anything?
---Paul_James on 4/24/05

Once again, I fully agree with Alan. When my fiancee' came over, we spent lots and lots of time alone and we talked and prayed and went out for drives and walks together in order to get to know each other.

Look at each other with respect and dignity - give each other hugs and kisses and keep remembering that you're heading towards a holy union.
---Albert on 4/24/05

EJ you say "Don't ever be totally alone with him. That could lead you astray from God"

You do have a low respect for other peoples morals. It does surprise me that so often here it is implied here that if a boy and girl (or man and woman) are alone together, they will fall into sexual sin.

Nonsense! If you feel you might fall easily for this temptatrion, do not assume others are as weak.

Go for your walks in the parks and forests, and talk together without having to worry about what others will make of your chatter
---Alan_of_U.K. on 4/23/05

Honestly - if he's your fiancee, then he must be SO in love with you and wants to do nothing more than spend time with you ... If this is not the case, and you only spend time at church functions, then there is a problem. You could always initiate a date or dinner together, but ultimately it is the man's job to "court" the woman and (like the Bible says) treat her like God treats his church. Talk to him and tell him how you feel.
---Ryan on 4/23/05

My Dear Sister in Christ,
I think that you should try to plan some outside activities that would cater to your fiance's spiritual needs. Try to plan picnics in the park, rent some religious movies, or even plan some senic day trips. Try to let him know ahead of time, that you are making plans for whatever activity that you would like for the two of you to partake of, so that he may be able to fit that into his schedules. If you do not learn to get him involved in other activities now before you get married, he may not want to get involved, after you are married. God bless you, my sister!
---frances on 4/23/05

Well, be patient. Soon he will be your husband and you will spend more time with him.
---Eloisa on 4/23/05

You said in your posting, that, your Fiance was a Christian. You did not say, where you were or not. I know, that, you would like to do other things with him, outside of Church. But,the best place that you can spend time together, is at Church! By spending time at Church, with other Brothers and Sisters-In-Christ, only makes, the time you spend together, outside of Church, even better.
---Ruby on 4/23/05

Try active sports activities such as bowling, putt putting (miniature golf), or roller skating at the skating rink. If you have an ice skating rink, that would be a good one, too.

Don't ever be totally alone with him. That could lead you astray from God in your spiritual walk with Him; and besides, you don't want to spoil things before you are married. God Bless you as you endeavor for Him. (smile).
---EJ on 4/23/05

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