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My Husband Of 28 Years Died

I'm 46 years old, my husband of 28 years has just died. He was sick many years, but died from an accidental fall. The loneliness is overwhelming. I still have faith in God, but this is harder that I thought it would be. Any friendly advice? Judy

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 ---judy on 4/25/05
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Sister Shira, I'm so sorry for your lose. Your husband and your daughter. I cannot even imagine what it feels to lose a child. I hope that never happens to me while I am alive. When I lost my wife, I missed her so much. We had fun together. As a Christian I kept busy with my lessons and helping with programs in the Church. But I knew I did not want to be alone while old. I saw my mom alone all her life and I felt so bad for her. When I went to visit her in Texas, as I left her house, I always thought about what she looked forward to. Almost if she was waiting for her death, since many of her friends had already died. Been alone is not good at all. We all need someone just to talk. God will take care of you sister. He will provide for you.
---Mark_V. on 8/3/12

Judy, when my husband of 50 yrs died, half of my body was gone. It has been 5 years and it still seems he will come home and get in his favorite chair. It is the 2nd hardest thing I ever endured. When my daughter passed away at 41 from a brain tumor I guess was one of the worst things a mother could go thru.
---shira4368 on 8/2/12

Judy, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.I am 44yrs.old. I just recently lost my husband. He passed away from melanoma cancer. We were married almost 25yrs. I thank GOD for the time HE allowed us to spend together. I know exactly how you feel. It hurts so deeply knowing I wont get to see him physically but I do know some day I will be with him again in Heaven. I truly do believe that. Having faith and trusting in the LORD is the only thing that gives me peace and comfort in my life. GOD said HE would never leave nor forsake us! We just need to hold on to HIS word. I will continue to pray for you sister. I know JESUS will help us both!! May GOD be with you always, Charlene
---federer on 8/1/12

I am so sorry for your loss. Jesus says in the bible that he is your husband. Take your pain to God and let him comfort you. Ask God to take away the lonliness and imagine yourself putting your head on his shoulder and letting him hold you and it will give you peace. I break the spirit of grieving over you and I command it to go in Jesus name. It 's ok to grieve but when it continues too long, it can become a unhealthy stronghold. Get connected with your church and get involved in doing stuff. When you get your eyes off yourself, and you stay busy, it will bring you joy helping others and it will keep you from thinking of the situation. Get your sisters in Christ to pray for you and support you at church
---janine on 2/11/09

Hi Judy:

I just read your note and i impressed to ask you, how are things now?
---Janze on 2/11/09

i want you to know i am very sorry for your lost. i also lost my husband of 30 years in march and still don't understand. he was never sick and just had a massive heart attack on the job so i have many unanswered questions but one thing i know forsure is that God will see me though somehow. i am so lonly and resent these people who do not cherrish there time with there mate.
just pray that God will contuine to stengthen me and we will met again on the other side with our savior
---jackie on 2/10/09

My heartfel condolences to you and your family. I have recently suffered a loss as well. I lost a young son through a hit and run accident. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I still have my faith also but it is a very difficult experience.
My advice: Pray a lot and read scripture. That is the source of real strength for you. You are young,perhaps, you may want to remarry,in the future. God does not make mistakes or errors.He will not put more on you than you can bare. Time heals all wounds.You will feel better as time goes by.You are not alone. I will be praying for you, as I am sure others who know you will,also.
My prayers and christian love
God bless you friend.
---Robyn on 10/11/08

Remember him the best way you can in celebration to his life. Eventually through time it will get easier you'll never forget him because that's impossible but try attending little groups in the community, you never know you may help some having gone through a bereavement just as you and use your experience to encourage others to the lord as you find peace in his word perhaps not right now but eventually.

keep reading, keep loving and keep God in the center of your life and prayers and may the Lord of Grace grant you his loving comfort during this time of your loss and always.

LOve CarlaX
---Carla3939 on 10/11/08

First, my deepest condolences. Being twice widowed myself (I'm 51), I do understand the pain and sorrow that you are going through. My suggestion is to take things one day at a time and try focusing on your work and the children. Healings do take time (around a year or so in my former bereavement) but the Lord will definately be leading you every step of the way. Put your heart and mind at peace. You are in good hands,day after day.

Best wishes,
---Janice on 10/10/08

Judy, please accept my condolences for the tragic loss of your husband. It is a deep wound but with God's help it will heal. We will surely remember you in our prayers.
---Albert on 4/17/08

Hello sister, I also lost my wife of thirty two years in 1998. I missed her so much that I went everyday to visit her for two years. I promise that you will get through it with God's help. Every one has a way of dealing with this so don't compare yourself to anyone. I met so many each day when I went to see her and everyone deals different. We have no control over what is going to happen to us only God. All with a purpose. You are special just like me in the sight of God. Blessings to you and family in the name of Jesus,
---Lupe_Ventura on 4/28/07

Advice? - you are already an excellent example. You have not lost your faith.
Such a life style change as you have had, does take alot of readjustment. Time. Prayer. Faith. Friends that continue. New friends that you are making even here are all important.
When we are weak, then we see how strong God is. God will let us all lean on Him.

Widows/and orphans come under the special watch of God. God will even have a new importance to you.
Remembering you in prayer.
---barbara67 on 5/21/05

The loss you have now is not actually final, right? Christians believe that we are to meet our loved ones again. Me too, am keeping that hope.
---linda6546 on 5/6/05

Death is such a hard thing isn't it? And even when they're Christians, it still feels so final. Best advice I can give you is take it day by day. Allow yourself to grieve, but don't give in to thoughts of self pity or depression. If you do, get busy! Clean the house, go out with friends, busy your body and your mind to keep from falling into that trap. It's when we take our emotions and our tears to the Lord that he can bring comfort and sweetness in midst of the sadness. If we hold onto them, that's when bitterness can set in.
---Katie on 4/26/05

dear judy i also understand what you are going through,reach out to people always,remember jesus never forsakes. he is with you,and keep busy even with hobbiesgod bless you vickie
---vickie on 4/26/05

Dear Sister Judy, My loving condolences for your loss. You will miss your husband, and his death will leave a large hole in your life. Our faith in God does not guarantee an easy walk with him, but rest in the knowledge that He has promised that He will never leave us. Allow yourself to grieve, please don't try to put a brave face on your sorrow. It is OK to grieve our losses, as long as we don't allow grief to become our sole reason for living.
Cry, talk, think, remember. Include your family. God bless you in your sorrow.
---Margaret on 4/25/05

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Judy. . . Allow yourself to grieve. The grief is not only yours, it is God's also. We, each one of us, has felt loss in this troubled time. But, do not allow the sorrow to stop you from living. Your tears will be turned to joy.
---gregg on 4/25/05

My dear one, I know exactly how you feel and you are right, the lonliness is overwhelming and it is good to hear you still have that faith in God - just keep it!!!!
---cwd on 4/25/05

Hi Judy. I am very sorry for your loss. I understand what you mean - I lost my husband when I was 48. As Donna said give yourself time and whatever you do, don't give into any temptation that may isolate you from others. I fell into that for a couple of years, and it's bad news. May God hug you ever so close to His precious heart during this difficult time. Praying for you.
---CarolT on 4/25/05

Judi ... I sympathise so much with yuo.

My wife died 32 months ago. I feel so incomplete without her.

Many will say here that if you have God with you that is sufficient ... I do not find it so, and feel that God wantsd me to find someone else
---Alan_of_U.K. on 4/25/05

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Judy, I have been through this. I held onto God's hand and kept busy. I taught sunday school classes, directed the plays at our church, developed brochures for the Sunday School, anything to keep my mind busy. Not only did this help me to keep busy, it was very rewarding in my spiritual life. God will keep his word, if we let him. God Bless You!
---Cindy on 4/25/05

I share your sorrow my sister. I pray to you will find solace and comfort in your predicaments. Blessed are they that mourn for the shall be comforted. Be also of that great hope that we shall on meet on the ressurection morning t part no more. Grace and peace of God be with you
Obi Keep in touch if you find your self alone and need some to share with
---Obi_Oyeka on 4/25/05

Hi Sis, God is to wise to make a mistake and to Holy to do wrong. Get in contact with your pastor. Find out what work needs to be done in building the kingdom of God. As you find out your gifts and talents, utilize them for God and you will find yourself very busy. God can send you companionship, but He desires to fill every void that you have. Matt 6: 33...says Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto YOU>...
---mar; on 4/25/05

Hi Judy,
God see's your situation. He has sent the Holy Spirit to be the Comforter. He know's your loneliness and He cares for you. This accident with your husband did not take God by surprise. He has prepared a way for you to get through this. This is where faith comes in. I know there is nothing anyone can say to take away the pain, but it is good to know there are people here when you just need to talk. God bless you...Mike
---Mike on 4/25/05

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When my husband died of a heart attack, I was 47 y/o. I knew that I didn't want to live the rest of my life alone so I joined a singles web site that was exclusively for my denomination. (I would only consider someone of my denomination) I had great success. My new husband is such a blessing.. truely a gift from God! My past husbands memories will live on in my heart.
---Robin on 4/25/05

HI Judy, so sorry to hear about your loss and the loneliness that you are going threw.I found that singing out loud and with all my heart This is the day that the Lord hath made, is a good way to release hurt. Are you in a good church? Surround yourself with other believers. Listen to as much praise and worship music that you can or has good christian music, also you can go to and listen to great services and articles to read from your favorite pastor. God hold you close and keep you in his care. your in my prayers Judy. Love, Pami k
---Pami on 4/25/05

dear Judy, the Bible says in all things we have to thank GOD. HE knows you'll be lonely yet it was HIS will to take your loved one to HIMSELF. I pray for you that you still put your trust in HIM, for HE knows the plans for you.HE will never forsake you. Our GOD is faithful HE will definately put a song in your heart to sing and to praise HIS name soon, trust in HIM AND IT SHALL BE WELL WITH YOU. Amen and Amen
---Baaba on 4/25/05

Hi Judy,
Truly sorry for your loss. L.B. Cowman said, "God knows how to lead us to the point of crisis, and He knows how to lead us through it...There is no way out but God." Know that in your most desparate time of loneliness, God is right there. He hasn't gone anywhere. And hopefully friends will come to your rescue to help you and pray with you through those greatest moments of sorrow and lonliness. And cry as much as you need to, its ok. God is your ever present help.
---Mike on 4/25/05

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dear Judy, the Bible says in all things we have to thank GOD. HE knows you'll be lonely yet it was HIS will to take your loved one to HIMSELF. I pray for you that you still put your trust in HIM, for HE knows the plans for you.HE will never forsake you. Our GOD is faithful HE will definately put a song in your heart to sing and to praise HIS name soon, trust in HIM AND IT SHALL BE WELL WITH YOU. Amen and Amen
---Baaba on 4/25/05

Give yourself plenty of time,it may take a couple of years. Talk to a Christian counselor and it will give you some relief. Do not make any major life changes for the first year or two. I have walked in your shoes. God be with you.
---Donna on 4/25/05

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