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Should A Lady Make First Move

Is it appropriate for a lady to make the first move toward friendship, by greeting a gentleman in church, smiling, and saying hello, or should she stay back and wait to see what God will do?

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 ---shari on 4/27/05
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Hi, I partially agree with you Steveng. :) Yes, worship should be the first and primary thing one is looking for at church--and not romance! But I believe church can be a very healthy place for people to find friendships and nothing wrong with seeking them out in a God-filled place. :)
---Mary on 5/2/11

Women have been making the first move since the beginning - in their own stealthy way - to attract someone they like without the guy knowing they are being corralled. But a church is not a place to find romance or friendship, It is a place of worship. It is a time for God only. If a person is looking for friendship or romance, then their heart isn't on God.
---Steveng on 5/1/11

I think it proper for a woman to greet visitors to the church if they are couples.
(Women are often better at this than men)
Direct your gestures of friendship toward the wife, but include the husband in your conversation.

Under other circumstances, it's not a good idea
because, sadly, no matter how innocent your intentions, someone is bound to think otherwise

One of the "perks" of being an "elderly woman" (I'm old enough to be the mother of most church goers AND clergy) is being able to talk to anyone in the church, anytime! First time in my life I've really felt free to do so.
---Donna66 on 4/29/11

i think there is nothing wrong in that..friendship is a kind of relationship that is so pure and gentle.
---mj on 4/25/11

Ask God by praying & fasting
---Patrick on 4/23/11

I would smile and be friendly. If he is available and so am I, might invite him for coffee. A lady has to be careful.Especially these days. There are evil people everywhere. Even in church. I would move slowly. Most guys get the wrong understanding when you take the lead. This is the sad part.
---Robyn on 7/23/07

I personally don't see anything wrong in smiling and saying hello, as long as you don't invite him for coffee or so, let him be first to do that.
---Marian on 7/23/07

Hi Shari!!
We have the same question. i fell in love with this christian guy whom i see thrice a year. i heard from a friend, i am special in this guy's heart. For me, there's nothing wrong making the first move of friendship. But i could not do, coz he's of different culture, a conservative one. So i just pray and hope that God will give him the boldness to talk to me the next time we meet.
---Gin on 5/5/05

i am only speaking from experience. men who are decent will wait for the Lord to guide them. what the movies have always portrayed is simply wrong.
---curt on 5/3/05

what a question! Curt, you are a mess boy!! I think if you hang back far enough the more outgoing and prettier gals are going to snag all the fellows. I know, I was always the one who waited for someone to approach and my friend got to date every new fellow that showed up in our church. Now she is married and the field is clear and I am too old and tired to try. Ask God to help you be yourself and put your best foot forward. Look for the qualities you know God wants you to have in a mate and then get in there and show yourself a friendly person, someone will notice!
---Julie on 4/28/05

Steve, yes church is for loving God but it is also a familly reunion! The most appropriate place to make friends and find a future mate IS the church! Christians are to be friends and married to other christians and minister to people of the world, love them and show them Jesus...
---Cathy on 4/28/05

I agree with chuck. Steven what is wrong with making friends at church?
---bethie on 4/28/05

It doesn't matter if the girl make a first move, greeting a boy with smile is with a kindly smile is appreciative.
---riza on 4/28/05

As a young man I don't see anything wrong if a girl greeted me with a smile.I would only be uncomfortable if she invited me for coffee or something.
---Oliver on 4/28/05

Curt, men who make the first move are not creeps. I made the first move with my wife and I'm millions of miles from being a creep.
---Albert on 4/28/05

Steve, church is for praising God, fellowship, friendship and, if the chance occurs, can be the right place of finding a spouse.

What's wrong with two people falling in love?
---Albert on 4/28/05

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there is nothing wrong with a lady to make the first move of friendship,as long as she does not cross over the friendship line and not looking for more than the gentleman is willing to give back in frienship.
---Pamea5547 on 4/28/05

Greeting at church should be normal for boy, girl,or anyone else. We are pleasing God by greeting and making welcome those coming to our church. To shy off and ignore them would please the devil. After all who wants to go where they are not welcomed?
---chuck on 4/28/05

of course it is okay for a lady to make the first move toward frienship. he may be interested also and too shy to say anything.
---rue on 4/27/05

Shari :I have to smile,so long as it is not in church it is ok before or after is always acceptable, Marriages are made in heaven.If God thinks it is suitable he will give you every opportunity,you have to seek in earnest & so must he.Have you ever caught a fish without Bait, your smile is the bait.She smiled at me & we lived together for 54 years,God blesses those who follow him in all ways,we had 13with his love & blessings.Good luck hope it turns out well.
---Emcee on 4/27/05

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call me old-fashioned, but i don't think any such activity should be going on in a church, no matter who starts it. church is for loving God, not finding a spouse.
---steve on 4/27/05

You obviously are a lady for contemplating waiting. Etiquitte would dictate that arranging an introduction would be proper rather than introducing your self. However, today many (gentlemen & ladies) do accept public greetings between males and females. Your example is very proper and God gave you the smile and a voice.
---mike_fl on 4/27/05

Friendship is not a commitment to a closed relationship with one person, but a time to get to know a person on a friendly basis. As long as each of you knows that. A friend is just exactly that a "friend" and nothing else. With Christ we will have many friends, enemies and followers. But we need to be harvesters of souls for Christ. How does that fit in the picture with this "friend"?
---Blue on 4/27/05

please make the first move. decent men such as myself never pursue a woman until she lets it be known that she is interested. men who make the first move are usually creeps.
---curt on 4/27/05

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I think it is appropriate.
---Michelle on 4/27/05

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