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Advice About My Current Affair

I'm having an affair with a married man and we love each other deeply. He is having troubles at home and it breaks his heart and he can't stand it anymore and he wants to breakaway and be with me. advice

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 ---jojo on 4/29/05
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Of course JoJo is here, she's never but a stone's throw away, Alan. Alan of UK.
---Mike on 1/1/08

What is it that people don't understand about a 'marriage covenant'? God has one with His Bride and that is called the Ten Commandments. Read them! God does NOT shack up! He can't be your God IF you refuse to SHOW your love (John 14:15) Satan does everything possible to break this up. If anyone gets involved in the break up of a marriage he/she will be held accountable.
---Dr._Rich on 12/31/07

Yea, you do need some marbles. Go find some. Get about one million or more. You do not really believe that you will ever see God, do you?
---catherine on 12/31/07

The question was asked in 2005.
I wonder if JoJo is still looking here for advice?
---alan_of_UK on 12/30/07

wow, do you by any chance have a southern accent because your post sounds like a song I just heard on Grand Ol' Opry. All kidding'll only be hurt. Pray.
---sue on 12/29/07

After you've finished playing with your marbles, please stick them back inside of your head.
Be sure that there are none remaining because you need every single one of them.
---Mike on 12/29/07

I am a wife whos husband (now ex)left me for another woman.I cannot tell you the pain and anquish I have endured.We have a disabled son.Neither had any guilt.We had many problems but they could have been overcome if my ex had put God first in his life.I have asked God to help me to forgive them.They have been together for 4 years now.All I can do is pray for my ex, her, myself and my son.Just thought someone who is having an affair see it from the wife who was cheated on.
---Sharon on 11/22/07

personally you people that split up or come between a married couple should be ashamed of yourself and the blame lies with you guilty parties not the betrayed wife.pray to god you never feel the pain and sadness you put the wife through cause your wanting a relationship with her husband,think about the children if he has any that you have destroyed their relationship and the way they will now look at you and their father.
---Angel on 8/29/07

Dear Lady, Are you a Christian? If you are, then get AWAY from this married man. GOD will hold you ACCOUNTABLE for helping to further break up his marriage. GOD takes the marriage vow very seriously! That man belongs to his wife as she belongs to him, as long as they are still married, NO MATTER how unhappy and miserable they may be. You are STEALING private property that you have no business having. Even though the man is welcoming you, it is really a trap set by Satan to DESTROY you both eventually!
---Gordon on 8/22/07

If you will read what you wrote, all you mentioned is: A) How you "feel". B) How this married man "feels". I keep reading what you wrote and see nothing about what the Word of God says. Love is a command, not a feeling. This man is commanded to love his wife, his present wife, whether he feels it or not. Then, feelings will come. By the way, do you think you'll be immune to his immaturity?
---Tony on 8/22/07

ask yourself this if he told you he loved his wife and that everything was great between them would you still have the affair with him? remember your the one he is lying to cause he is keeping you secret....and god wil not bless such a union or children that result even if he leaves his helped him break a vow not only to his wife and children but to god.....if you can live with that than by all means continue living in sin for the rest of your life.
---Angel on 8/21/07

My best friend is thinking of doing the same thing. It hurts me to know someone can be so naive that it wont happen to them.
She thinks she is happy with what they have but in time it wont be enough. Find someone to share your life with, it isnt him.
He wants you for one thing, and one thing only.Find love somewhere else.Find someone to love you and only you who can give himself completely to you
---Colleen on 12/31/06

If you continue with this, don't be surprised if you look back and realize you waisted a ton on time with this man. He won't leave his wife and you will be stuck waiting and waisting a lot of time you could have spent with a single available guy. Look at why you are in this relationship. Are you avoiding something by being with an unavailable man?
---Becky on 7/6/06

My advice is that this isnt love, you are tearing a family apart and I dont think that God will ever bless that. I wouldnt want to face the consequences of those actions. Do you only care about your own feelings? Think of the wife who has done nothing to have her life turned upside down. You reap what you sow! You need to read God's word, your life isnt about you and what you desire, it is about what God says. God didnt bring the two of you together to destroy a marriage and he didnt send him a mistress!!
---katherine on 6/9/05

Jojo...just a little advice, my husband and I have been separated for awhile, he went on with his life, moved out, is engaged and fathered a child, while still married to me. I will pray for you also, for I am a wife who has been dumped for another woman. I do not know what will happen with my marriage, I do know that the Lord is in control of my life his consequences for breaking any of the 10 Commandments is quite severe. God Bless You Always,

---Annie on 6/6/05

What makes you think whats happening to his family now wont happen to you once you together,and further more you are fueling the troubles because he has a soft landing on you,you are WRECKING a home REPENT my sister and read THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
---peter on 5/31/05

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It's not worth it. I have been in a relationship with a friend I have had for years. Its now almost 3 years later. since we started he got engaged , married and now a father... never left her - just continues to grow in a relationship with her. I am now starting to realize all this time i have helped him in his relationship.... makes you wonder if I wasnt there all that time, what would have happend between them. What i do know is that he still would not be with me. You'll see it soon too.
---meghan on 5/29/05

God will punish the unjust. What you are doing is wrong and I think you know it. You may have to learn the lesson the hard way. Think of the hurt that you are causing.
---Linda3939 on 5/11/05

Jojo, if you weren't so emotionally invested in this situation you would be rational enough to know that a leopard can't change his spots, and if he is willing to cheat on the wife of his youth, to whom he made sacred vows and had kids with, them he will do the same to you down the road, when the passion has subdued, the dipers are smelly and piling up, the pressure is on and your body has changed due to child rearing. Can't you see the beast in this man for abandoning the woman that gave him her youth and beauty. I could never love a man who was willing and able to do this. Really, can you?
---lisa on 5/6/05

SSTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPP!!!!! Are you a child of God?
What part of DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY do you not understand.
And coming from a position of been there done that, He will NOT leave the wife. So get out while you still have sense to ask the question.
---Julie on 5/5/05

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I hope you will take a long look at yourself and your situation. To enter into a romantic relationship is very destructive. What do you want to tell your children years from now? That you destroyed a marriage? Do not participate in any relationship which you can't tell your future children about.
---Madison on 5/3/05

LOVE ???

If you loved him, you would want him to repair his marriage to his first love.
---Alan_of_U.K. on 5/3/05

Advice? Repent and run the other way.
---Heidi on 5/2/05

Dear Jojo,just remember this one truth,and it is true,"if a married person will cheat with you they will cheat on you"it comes from a character problem,if he is not willing to work problems out with his wife,why would he work them out with you?he is the kind who runs from problems and doesn't face them.If you care about him talk him into working things out with his wife,he will love you even more and it will be proper the right thing and be blessed ,do the wrong thing and face the penalty.Please do the right thing,God bless you,
---RUSSELL on 4/30/05

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A little nugget of truth to help you: pray for his wife. Praying for her is what Jesus is doing as Mediator and as prayer for her flows through you, so will HIS heart for her and the marriage.
---Linda_Smith on 4/30/05

Jojo: YOU are the problem. You have encouraged this man (weak as slime though he is) to betray his wife and his God. He would not have come on to you in the first place if he had not seen opportunity. Now you have put three lives in misery. Run girl! Run away from him and run to the Lord for forgiveness.
---Jerry on 4/30/05

Why in the world would you settle to be the "other woman". Your "man" needs to take care of his business at home before you gets involved with anyone else and you, my dear needs to look in the mirror and ask yourself, what you are doing with another womans husband? Walk away while you still have some self respect (?).
---isirhnow on 4/30/05

You love each other deeply? My dear sister, you need to learn what love is. True love cannot possibly exist between 2 people who are breaking God's law! I'm sorry but I can't say anything encouraging to you.
---Robin on 4/29/05

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Can you touch fire and not be burned? The answer is "NO"! You cannot take some other woman's husband without eventually getting burned. Run from this situation as fast as you can. Pray and ask God to help you do the honorable thing. Judy5486
---judy on 4/29/05

First off Jojo you are the other woman, unless of course you are a man yourself, we can't tell from the name.

But, what I can tell from your statements is that you and he are both in sin and don't seem to care.

Next I can tell you don't know what Love is and you don't seem to care.

Then I know you are spending your time with this guy fulfilling your lust and you don't care for the things of God.

Apart from stopping this activity what advice do you want from us?
---Elder on 4/29/05

I agree with NV Barbara, Annie & Chrissy. I, too... have a cheating spouse... and- even though his first wife cheated on him- he turned around and did the same thing to me. One would think that when you have experienced the pain from this rejection- you would learn your lesson. LEAVE this man- and seek God!!!! Sincerely!
---Kat on 4/29/05

I can't even believe that this question was on a 'Christian' site! First and foremost, you are committing adultery! And secondly, if he's willing to leave his wife for you... who will he leave YOU for? I know, some people can change, but are you willing to risk it? No doubt he loved his wife at some point in time, but now he's in love with you? Sister, I strongly advise you to pray for a relationship with God... He is our only reason for living, and He will guide you to TRUE happiness! Trust Him, He knows the future! I'll be praying for you!
---Chrissy on 4/29/05

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I think is called adultery.
---a_friend on 4/29/05

Don't put yourself in that position. If he wants to break from his wife, let him do it on his own. If you break with him, and he still wants to leave the wife, at least you will know that you are not a homebreaker, If things work out after that fine, but you need not to see him anymore while he is married
---Audrey on 4/29/05

Jojo:Bitter Pills come sugar coated, you will live to regret this action as you are breaking up a marriage,& you are helping him .that is the truth Sorry, Christianity is a hard cross to bear sometimes; you will be the one to make the choice here now & hereafter!!!!
---Emcee on 4/29/05

It is not the end of the world if we make mistakes, but a lot of our mistakes comes with a high price, because there may/are others that can be hurt in our circle of events. If we can't see these people, than we are showning a very selfish part of yourself. As christians we are to learn to love one another and not just pick and chose whom we wish to love. When we marry on the basis of love we tend to lose the real reason we are here as christians. He made a vow to love and forsake others, to charish, that one until death. My prayer of support.
---blue on 4/29/05

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I was once the wife of a man who was blatantly cheating. My life at the time was like I imagine hell to be. I do not understand how any decent woman with an ounce of compassion could treat another woman in a marriage covenant, with such disrepect and disregard. My experience was two years ago and I am still trying to deal with the pain, humiliation and complete crushing of spirit that this woman and my unfaithful husband caused. While they are living together, "in love" building their happiness on someone elses misery. I think your request is a joke.
---annie on 4/29/05

What would Jesus do? Since it is the man, you say, that wants to breakaway, my advice would be to the man. Get away from that girl as soon as you can. Yes, we all will die, but if you keep encouraging him to sin, death will come sooner than you want.
---gregg on 4/29/05

Please don't continue doing this. Not only is the married man committing adultery by having an affair with you, you are also committing adultery by having an affair with a married man. Adultery is a sin, as is any sexual activity between a man and a woman outside of marriage. God can not bless you in this sin. This man needs to get his life straightened out in regards to his wife prior to becoming involved with any other woman. Two wrongs will never make a right.
---Vel on 4/29/05

Jo Jo, you are a real piece of work. He is having trouble at home because of you. Why don't you do the honorable thing and YOU break away.
---shira_5965 on 4/29/05

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Just make sure you are not the cause of his troubles at home.

It would have been more beneficial if you offered him moral support than allowing yourself to be his "partner.
---Albert on 4/29/05

You are asking for trouble. You can't build a godly marriage by being so blatantly disobedient to God in your relationship with this man. Break off your affair, and ask for forgiveness. Pray that he does the same, and asks for forgiveness from God and from his wife. You love each other deeply? Love God MORE deeply than you love him, and then see what happens.
---Nicholas on 4/29/05

They ALL say that and never leave their wives! Run away as fast as you can from that man, that's the best advice I can give you about that...
---Cathy on 4/29/05

Drop him like a bad transmission! You are in constant sin with this man! Are you a Christian? Is he? If troubles at home are 'breaking his heart', why doesn't he do something to help instead of drawing you into sin? That's a routine answer "trouble at home". Maybe its because he's with you and not at home? What makes you think he would be faithful to you? RUN to God and away from this guy~FAST!
---NV_Barbara on 4/29/05

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It may be very difficult for the both of you, but this is all very wrong. Get out of it. I was in one similar once. I did the right thing and moved out of town. I am so glad I did. The lady and I are still friends and she has great respect for me because I made the decision and moved out of the way. You are trespassing on this marriage. I will be praying for you.
---harle9478 on 4/29/05

God has given us power to tread upon serpents and scorpions and all power of the enemy. The enemy is the carnal mind (which is death) where thoughts and imaginations exalt themselves above the knowledge of God. Submit to God and resist the devil and he must flee. I am sorry this man is having problems but there is help for him that is greater than him running to another woman and that help is reconcilitory and restorative.
---Linda_Smith on 4/29/05

His love for her should be flowing out of the throne of God where there is mercy, grace, and unconditional love. On top of that, what if circumstances change when you are with him? Could you trust him in light of his present attitude toward his present wife? The wicked flee when no man pursues but the righteous are bold as a lion.
---Linda_Smith on 4/29/05

A husband who truly loves his wife as Christ loves the church will find joy in genuine unconditional love whether it is returned or not because that type of love flows directly out of true fellowship with the Father. In His presence is fullness of joy and that is despite circumstances. It is the carnal, Adamic residue that wants to place the blame on someone else when each of us is accountable to God for our own relationship with Him and others. I would be leary of a man who is willing to hurt his wife through an affair in light of the fact that true joy is found in Christ alone.
---Linda_Smith on 4/29/05

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Call his wife and ask her if it is okay with her first. I truly believe that there are two sides to every story and you are only hearing his side and basing a relationship on that alone. He has used his circumstances to manipulate your heart and that is demonic at best. It is not the wisdom that comes from above. No man who is having marriage problems has any business sharing those type of problems with a single woman. Usually, if there is a problem with the wife, there is a problem with the husband.
---Linda_Smith on 4/29/05

I know that you feel like you are in love;and you said that he is already having trouble at home. Unfortunately, if he leaves his wife for you, eventually he will leave you. Please receive this scripture in love "God said that He is not mocked, whatever we sow, that is what we will reap. Please ask God for His help, in getting away from this situation. And ask Him to send you your own husband that loves God 1st, then he can love you just like Christ loves us.
---LINDA on 4/29/05

you play you pay ( consequences ) dont blame God when chastisment comes and it will. ( God's holy word<- rules)fun/'passion') for a few moments doesnt seem worth it to me. I question why he is having trouble at home=> his soul is spilt. why would it break his heart for troubles at home?<=since he wants to break away and be with you???(and why hasnt he by now?) wouldnt it break his wife's heart to know he is having sex with another woman behind her back? .you ask for advice and I gave you mine. choice is yours. I would choose to do it God's way ( Bible )
---Jan on 4/29/05

would you want to marry a man that cheats on his wife? that is what he is doing with his present wife. why didnt he get a divorce first and then date? all this tells me is he will do it behind YOUR back too, I have seen alot of this, you cant trust a man that will cheat on his wife. is he a christian? are you? if so why are you having an affair , its against God's word. have him look up the word adultery, YOU look up the word fornication...WHAT PART DONT YOU UNDERSTAND? self pleasure is a road to un happniness...but , do as you wish you seemed to be so far. ( both )
---Jan on 4/29/05

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