Divorced And Now Dating A Girl
I was divorced by my wife (certainly a part, how much I don't know) was my fault, and now I've met a girl, but I'm not sure if it's right to be anything more than friends with her.
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---Peter_Koronaios on 4/29/05
Helpful Blog Vote (8)
1 Corinthians 7:11-15. Seems clear enough to me.
---Graham on 2/12/09|
If you left her (which you didn't) you would not be free to remarry unless she committed adultery. The Bible is silent in the case where the other leaves you, except in the case of a woman who is sent away from her husband. Here the husband must give a write of divorce so that she can remarry. That's OT, but you see what God expects in this case. Seems like you are ok, but study the word on this for yourself. Where the Bible speaks, there should always be obedience, where is it silent there is generally liberty. My only pause would be, did she leave you because of adultery? The Bible is silent here too though, except for all those stonings.
---Dan on 2/9/09|
The Bible says that if a woman leaves a man, the man is freed from marriage. Men must not divorce their wives. It's very specific! You may persue this relationship, I just hope you are both happier than you were in your first marriage.
---Graham on 2/9/09|
He alone sits on the Judgement seat.
He alone knows the hearts of men.
He alone sent HIS WORD in flesh for Repentance and Remission.
This means Forgivness...WHEN ASKED.
Christ alone is PERFECT...
Not one of US IS...
Christ didn't die for nothing...
---char on 2/5/09|
The law of God says "What God hath Joined together, let no man put asunder"The essence of God in your FIRST marriage is still there.God cannot be disected, since you made a choice followed by a contract.You would be in error to take on another with the view you anticipate.Leave her alone to find her own destined mate.You have already been slated.
---MIC on 9/18/08|
It would depend on why you were divorced.
---chatter on 9/18/08|
Come'on Peter... you don't know how much of your marriage failure was your part?
If you really don't know then accept the whole blame. Just don't make excuses for what you are doing now.
Your meeting "this Girl" sure sounds quick to me to even begin thinking of any relationship.
---Elder on 3/18/07|
michael is right. but listen to the Holy spirit and trust in God. trust me if you just hold on to your own integrity and be honest and godly with her then this will play out God's way. pray about it
---matthew on 7/31/05|
well i had a date with this guy about 4 months ago, he seemed a great guy i realy liked him,but I had to let him go on account of the fact that his divorce was not for reasons of his wife commiting Adultary
---susanna on 7/31/05|
Peter, unless there was fornication (a sexual affair) that divorce paper means nothing in God's eyes. I don't know how long you have been divorced but the bible says let not the wife depart from her husband (or husband from wife) if she(he) does let her(he) remain unmarried or reconcille with her (his) hsband/wife. go find out where you were at fault, repent, and stand for your marriage. You would be surprised how much true repentance can change a marriage. Your wife may be waiting for you to "get it" figure out where you were at fault.
---tami on 5/3/05|
Peter, It is brave of you to ask this question and to question yourself. This is a great beginning to finding the answers. Go to Christian counseling. Check out Scripture and see what God has to say about divorce. Pray about this situation; let God work on your heart. You need to know yourself before you become involved in another relationship. If you date prematurely after this divorce, you will repeat the same mistakes. Believe me, every divorce, disagreement, or relationship problem has two sides-ours and theirs. God will honor you as you pray and search for truth in this matter.
---Elsie on 5/1/05|
Peter: I agree with Elder. If you are unsure of how you contributed to the break-up of your marriage, how can you even begin to think of starting a new relationship? Take some time to let the Lord work on you to help you self-examine and see what you did in your marriage that was unhealthy and dysfunctional.
---Madison on 4/30/05|
Divorce has always been a controversial issue among christians through out the centries. I can only give you my opinion, but let the Holy Spirit guide you into the truth. One, Fault is not the issue, and what was done was done, did we learn from it? Now you have come in contact with another person to whom you wish to associate with. Where does God fit into that picture? Only you and God can answer that question. Let God Work through you. My prayers are to support you in the decision.
---Blue on 4/30/05|
go back to your wife, whom you married "until death do us part". to see another girl is just adultery, plain and simple.
---curt on 4/30/05|
I can't believe it but I actually agree with you 100%, better make it 110%!! (smile)
---Pierr7958 on 4/30/05|
You are not specific enough so my answer is based on two assumptions. You admit that you are partially at fault for the divorce. If this means that YOU committed adultery along the way YOU ARE TO REMAIN SINGLE. Your second question seems to imply that you already would like to be more of a friend to the girlfriend. If this means that YOU WOULD ALREADY LIKE TO BE HER LOVER the answer is NO for now and in the future! In reality you probably need to take some time off and think what went wrong in the first instance and don't waste your time to quantify the blame!
---Pierr7958 on 4/30/05|
Dear Brother: You need to seek the Lord. Divorced christians are one of the most misunderstood groups in the body of Christ. I believe the Lord has an answer for each and every one of those individuals. Many times healing is needed in order for someone to move on. The issues and pain of break-up does not go away and needs to be placed before the throne of a merciful Father. We are still God's children and He wants the best for us. God will give you the words. Please don't allow the spirit of condemnation to overcome you. Take your time, seek the Lord first. Love in Lord Suzan5355
---Suzanne on 4/30/05|
Hi Peter,your whole question say's I don't know how to communicate and I can't make decisions.Don't feel bad you are part of the majority.One of the biggest problems we deal with in life comes from a lack of communication with people in our lives.About your former wife,she may be waiting for you to talk to her ,she may have divorced you to get your attention and get you to talk to her.Do you love her? if so,talk to her if she wants to listen,if not move on and be more open with your next relationship.That is hard for us men to do,but try it.Good luck either way,seek God's will,then follow.
---RUSSELL on 4/30/05|
How long have you been divorce. God does not like divorce. But He will give a person another chance at love. I was divorced for about 2years and have been remarried. And with all my heart, I believe that God sent my husband to me. We have a blessed Christian marriage. Ask God to forgive you from the marriage that failed and forgive yourself. Pray about a new relationship. Not that God likes us going from one to the other, But He will give you another chance.
---Linda3939 on 4/30/05|
You have free will. Choose this day what you want. You have already started down a road. You must see the end from the beginning.
---gregg on 4/30/05|
Be friend to each other,and it will grow if that wat God has in mind for you both,its great to have someone to care for and to do things with,even if it just the shopping,but most of all talk and be honest with each other,good luck
---dave4584 on 4/30/05|
Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Only if the divorce was as a result of fornication are you free to marry another, but if it was just because you both did not get along with each other it would be better to remain single unless you both get back together as long as she did not remarry.
---Michael on 4/30/05|
Peter_Koronaios: God's love provides a love for us beyond measure. No matter whose fault it was; the divorce happened.And just like God forgives all kinds of sins-He will also forgive divorce and 'as far as the east is from the west,so far has he removed our transgression from us'Psalm 103:12 Remembering God's mercies are new each morning-accept God's love and begin a new life in holiness-so long as your friend knows and loves the Lord.
---Eloia8896 on 4/30/05|
I would adivice you to take time and analyse the root cause of your divorce with you former parten.But did you have sincer comminication?
---shamilah on 4/30/05|
No,there is nothing wrong with you.Date her and court her. But follow God's rules. Do not have sex with her.Save that for a new wife,one that will not betray you by divorcing you and giving up. I experienced this also
---Jay on 4/30/05|
So what's the problem? Above all, keep things In God's perspective and not yours and/or hers. Keep it pure, keep it holy...
Just remember always "Seek Ye First..."
---Jim on 4/29/05|
Hi, i'm joana3459. none of us have it together but together we have it all. i'm going through divorce after 37 yrs.of raising 2 kids alone,finally had courage and would love to meet a Godly man when divorce if over. god love us, he hates sin, he is a loving & forgiving god. i want some happiness & someone to love & respect me for who i am. i never had that. i had lots of faults but i confess them to the lord,forgive myself,
---JOANI on 4/29/05|