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My Wife Hits Me And Wants Others

My wife hits me alot and it leaves marks on me, and when I was laying on my stomach watching TV she put her hand under the back top of my pants and yanked them ripping them right off of me, and she's always sexually flirting with other guys. What should I do?

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 ---West on 4/30/05
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Victims of abuse can become abusers. If she was abused as a child, it can lead to permissiveness, flirting, and adultery in the future of an abused woman. It doesn't have to happen, but without Jesus Christ, it can. Spiritually, it opens up the door to a spirit of lust and/or Jezebel spirit. A deliverance may be needed.
---Cindy on 2/11/08

Maybe your wife feels like she's not getting enough attention from you.
---Anonymous on 2/11/08

I need to know how to convince my wife that i'm being faithful. When i speak of friends she asumes that i have female friends and that i'm cheating on her. WHAT SHOULD I DO SHES DRIVNG ME CRAZY!!!
---joe_somebody on 10/26/07

Are you living with Sasquatch?
---anonymous on 11/9/06

John T, this may be true but other men may be experiencing abuse from their wives and can get some help here.
---Norma7374 on 11/8/06

did your wife act like this when you were dating because to me it sure sounds like something that has, and now you are tired of it. I think you need to see a counsolor.
---Jared on 11/8/06

This blog is over 18 months old. I doubt if original poster in still here
---John_T on 11/8/06

West, You should be the head of the house. Set boundaries. Scold and rebuke her sharply and aggressively, and deny her certain things if necessary! Unless she is the bread-winner and is using that to her advantage to ride-over you. Make it clear that you will not accept her behavior or her hitting you even ONE MORE TIME. First and most important, lift it up in prayer definitely, and go with a different approach from all I just said if the Holy Spirit directs you thus.
---Okebaram on 11/7/06

U have the right to be safe especially in your home. So U need to "leave" at least for now to be safe she needs to get a handle on anger and lust. If U pick pastoral help, anger managment etc.& wish to work on the marriage fine but your safety must come first. I am a female & was abused by my husband, tried all kinds of help,but he was just violent.I realized after he had tried to even kill me I was a valuable person or Christ would not have died for me. If my God valued me then I had to.
---Jeanne on 11/6/06

If I was lying on my stomach watching TV, I would be thinking what a lazy slob I am"
That is now, when I am a widower and have no wife. Had I done it whilst she was alive, I would think the same, because my wife would actually be doing something useful.
But of course the Bible says the man is head of the household, so whatever he does is right, and the wife is always wrong if there is any domestic dispute.
---alan8869_of_UK on 6/30/06

Eric, What t. shirt? Anyway, move away. If somebody treats you bad, get away. I know it's not easy, but for your son you should either go get counsling or get out of there.
---sue on 6/30/06

This makes my eyes swell. Living the same story, bought the house and t-shirt. I have a son who sees it. But how do you tear your family apart (divorce)and how much of this kind of thing do you need to take to be a man? I'm tired of the ,"well its youtr fault I get so mad", and "I just want us to be a family but you dont meet my needs". I have no idea what those even are anymore- nor my own at this point. Good luck, buddy.
---erik on 6/30/06

Stop making excuses. This is a drama queen. People can say it is this or that. If someone treats you badly get away from them. Let them find a willing victim to put up.
---aj on 5/22/06

Are we a confused people? Your wife is abusive and sounds close, if not "there" in adultery. Surprised at some of the blogs. I hope you don"t have children.
---Alexandra on 4/21/06

There are men who are sexually excited by being abused and humiliated, especially by women and their wives in particular. I suspect you are one of those "men." However, if you truly are a man and you do NOT get a thrill from her treatment then do something about it. Do you really need my opinion or the other couch shrinks on sites like these to tell you to act like a man? Set her bags on the curb and change the locks.
---M on 4/21/06

u sould report ur wife or sit down and talk 2 her my real dad used 2 hit my mum and sister and stop hitting my mum when she was pregant with me so always say dont live in fear staceyjane
---staceyjane_malcolm on 2/16/06

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You need to consider leaving, and also find an Alanon group they are very supportive and will help you through this (if she also has a drinking problem). Your wife is abusive.
---annie on 7/29/05

hi,im living in an abusive relationship of 9 wife is an alchoholic and becomes especially mean when she drinks.we have a son that is 6 years old and is becoming verbly abusive also.i need to get out but dont know how.she is very vindictive and threatens me in so many ways if i leave her
---michael on 7/29/05

My ex was mentally, verbally, in the end started to get physically abusive. He cheated on me and drank/drugs. I had to get out. It is so hard to leave, but...

I know 2 very nice men who were victims of abuse from their wives. They put up with the abuses: physical, mental, verbal for years and years finally got out. It is not okay for this to continue.If you see any marks document by taking photos, keep a record. Seek help via Pastor, Counselor, support groups, even a lawyer. Pray To God
---Mary on 5/16/05

West, Yes, I am praying for you too. God bless you.
---John on 5/16/05

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My neighbor, Walter is going through this right now. His wife is physically abusing him. Please pray for Walter!
---John on 5/16/05

Abuse is never acceptable and I dont think that God wants us to stay in an abusive marriage. You said that she is also flirting and mentioned an affair? I would first try talking with pastor and christain councilor.
---Randy_G on 5/3/05

Gregg: I used to be like this man's wife. My acting out was for a lot of reasons, and he was not to blame for any of them. I was sick and didn't know how to act right.

This guy's wife needs individual therapy and a kick in the pants....figuratively of course.
---Ellie on 5/2/05

Men do get abused physically by women. They are not wimps. They are victims. The police and ERs are aware of domestic violence where women are the abusers. They should not blame you.

I suggest you seek the advice of an attorney and move your things out of the house, or kick her out.
---Madison on 5/2/05

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I hate men who hit women but it breaks my heart that some men(often the kind ones) are on the receiving end of domestic abuse cos that's what this is.It's a scary thought that she won't get disciplined by the law cos 'she's a woman'. Get a lawyer if u're sure u've done nothing wrong. recommend counselling. If she doesnt change,let her go. U deserve better.
---mya on 5/2/05

Come on, Alan.. its not in a playful/sexual way.. that would be different!!!.. The woman is abusive!!! Dont make West more of a victim than he already is, just because he's male!...
---Kat on 5/1/05

I reckon many men would be thoroughly aroused if their wife tore their pants off. You should treat it as an invitation..

And the flirting with other men? Well, sdhe may be trying to make you jealous, because she wants more loving from you.
---Alan_of_U.K. on 5/1/05

This is to Shira 5965..Why would you feel that is the right thing to do is to give that wife a taste of her medicine! Two wrongs is not going to make the issue any better then her.I would have to say that YOU (Shira)should do some follow up on how to prevent domastic violence... Silva
---silva on 5/1/05

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hi gregg. i read your reply on this, but in particular do not agree with you. I just think that you should yield a little bit more understanding into this guy's situation.
---Philio on 5/1/05

I don't hit her back, and I already tried talking to her about the violence and the sexual affairs. I have a job and I go to college, and I clean the house too. I was going to call the police to have her put in jail, but I know that they don't punish ladies, so they probably would put me in jail instead eventhough I'm the victim. So I have to divorce her.
---West on 5/1/05

What would Jesus do to you if you were on your stomach watching TV and there was work to be done around the house? The sexual advances your wife is making toward other guys is a maneuvre to get you to do something because of not being satisfied physically. Yes, what should you do?
---gregg4933 on 5/1/05

I would tell her to stop or else, and then do the else(which would be to leave, not hit back). I would almost bet that you are a kind person who love's his wife, and she takes addvantage of you. Let her know you Love her, but you will not put up with her abuse. My God Bless You
---a_friend on 4/30/05

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Dear Brother in Christ, This behavior is called abuse. In the secular world, hitting is called battery and is a felony. Unless you and your wife go to Christian counseling, this behavior will escalate. This is not Christ-like and is unacceptable in a civilized society. Some of the other responses in this Blog were right on! Bless you and don't get tempted to hit back. That is not O.K. either. God is with you; ask Him to calm your wife and only talk to her when she is approachable; otherwise pray for her and for you. Our God can move mountains including bringing your wife to her senses.
---Elsie on 4/30/05

Hey, it was very brave of you to admit what goes on with your wife! You're not less of a man because your wife won't act Christ-like!! Forget about the nasty, un-Godly comments and just pray about this, pray WITH your wife and things will change quickly!! xox
---Cathy on 4/30/05

Hi, No matter what the cause, your wife's behaviors are inappropriate and she's "acting out", and you realize that, or you wouldn't be writing herein. I'd agree with one writer to seek Christian counseling, because her behavior is definitely abusive, and nobody has the right to abuse another. Pray for strength and guidance in this matter, too.
---Kristine on 4/30/05

Shira: Are you suggesting that he do the same thing and hit her?
---Madison on 4/30/05

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what the heck did she do that for? I beleive she wants more attention. But not sure. For sure she should NOT hit you.
---sues on 4/30/05

It sounds like your wife may have a personality disorder with which I am familiar. She needs psychotherapy, not just counseling from your pastor. Get her to see a psychologist or psychiatrist.

You also may need therapy to help you in dealing with this and deciding what course of action you may need to take in your marriage.
---Madison on 4/30/05

You need to pray to our dear lord for answers. I know that he will guide you on the right path and give you the strenght courage wisdom to do what is right. Only God can help you like he help me throught that horrible time of my life. I also realize that just being around, and talking to good Christian people from church helped alot. God help me step by step with what he wanted me to do. I finally made it with his help. Praise God he is Awesome. And God will help you to if you let him.. The lord doesn't like this kind of behavior! Man and wife should respest each other. Silva.
---silva on 4/30/05

You need to pray to our dear lord for answers. I know that he will guide you on the right path and give you the strenght courage wisdom to do what is right. Only God can help you like he help me throught that horrible time of my life. I also realize that just being around, and talking to good Christian people from church helped alot. God help me step by step with what he wanted me to do. I finally made it with his help. Praise God he is Awesome. And God will help you to if you let him.. The lord doesn't like this kind of behavior! Man and wife should respest each other. Silva.
---silva on 4/30/05

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How much attention do you pay to your wife? She may be hitting you to flirt with you but your watching TV and when she gets really aggressive sexually you complain. If you don't give her attention then she will flirt with other guys and find someone who wants her instead of the TV.
---SONJA on 4/30/05

Are you a man or a wimp? Why do you put up with that sort of mess? Give her a taste of her own medicine.
---shira_5965 on 4/30/05

If you love her and want your marriage to work, try to get her to go to christian couseling, even the counsel of your pastor. If she refuses counseling and doesn't try to repent , then I would recommend a separation with hopes of reconciling when or if she changes. If no changes are made permenant separation or divorce. It's not right for people to abuse others, whether it's man against woman or woman against man. Abuse is ungodly, unhealthy and dangerous. Continue to pray and seek GOD daily through this situation and believe that HE will deliver you.
---Lashonda on 4/30/05

you do not need to put up with this kind of abuse. tell her to stop. she is abusing you physically and emotionally. she is not respecting you. she needs professional help and so do you. even thou you are not the abuser, professional help will help you even if she refuses to get help. it will help you learn how to make changes to stand up to this kind of behavior in others. if you are putting up with this from her, you may be putting up with stuff from others.
---barb on 4/30/05

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I know a man who was married to abusive women twice,two days ago this same man chased a purse snatcher and caught him,is he a man?it has been said that a man looks for a woman that reminds him of his mother and a woman looks for a man that reminds her of her father,there is some truth to that.However don't get used to the abuse and take it,or it won't stop,you deserve better treatment than that,good luck in your choice,God bless you.
---RUSSELL on 4/30/05

it sounds like your wife is in need of alot of attention. i suggest getting help. hitting is wrong no matter who does it good luck vickie
---vickie on 4/30/05

Your wife is abusive. Both physically and emotionally. Please seek help and check out the book "Love Must be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson. It sounds as if you are enabling her to continue in her ways. Is she sorry when she exudes such behaviors!? .. Or does she even know that she has doen something wrong? Seek God and counseling.
---Kat on 4/30/05

i had an abusive husband, my preacher said i had grounds for seperation. talk to your preacher. i don't know how dangerious she is but she isn't showing love to her husband like the bible commands. I'll pray for you .
---barba3644 on 4/30/05

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It sounds like to me that you might need to pay her a little attention.

When was the last time you let her know that you really loved only her and really cared?
---Elder on 4/30/05

Are you a man or a little kid? People are very concerned over the divorce rate and they cannot figure out the answer. Little lazy kids should not take on the responsibility of a man.
---gregg on 4/30/05

your wife sounds like she is an abuser. go to counseling, and see if you can help her repent of such behavior.
---curt on 4/30/05

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