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My Boyfriend And I Never Kiss

My boyfriend and I of three years have never kissed and will do so on our wedding day. My friends make fun of me, what do I say?

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 ---edna9754 on 4/30/05
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Being a virgin has its high points. The virgin is so blind to the facts of marriage and sexual pleasure that he/she does not know what real satisfaction and pleasure is--yet. But she/he will find our sooner or later. If both are virgins this can be a delight in itself. If not-the virgin would be the one stroking the ego of the other.
---Robyn on 4/21/11

Virgins are a rare breed these days. I think it strokes the male ego, more than anything. But does very little for the female. The male usually has had some experience with the females, before marriage. What is he bringing to the marriage bed that is so clean and wholesome?
---Robyn on 4/19/11

I would at least look at his teeth and get close enough to smell his breath. If the teeth are dirty and crooked, he would have to fix this before marriage. Kissing is very important in marriage. I hope both of you know how to it(kiss) reasonably well.
It is much easier and cheaper to find out these type things before the damage(wedding) has taken place.There are other things one need to know before marriage.
---Robyn on 4/18/11

\m/ my mom told me that if u really love each other,u know how to's awesome to think that u manage to keep yourselves preserve.wouldn't it be nice if u face the altar clean and untouch?:D don't listen to your friends.tell them that u and your partner love each other very much that u guys are willing to wait. my mom had her first kiss too during her wedding.and don't be ashamed about it!!when i grow up(yup,am still a kid),i wanna do what u and my parents did,keeping myself preserve until the right man comes to the altar :D
---Nikolai on 4/17/11

It is the ways of the Amish to keep themselves pure, for the wedding also, and many others as well. It takes courage to go against the flow of what is currently accepted.
---gayla on 8/17/08

Wow!! sounds great,I mean not a lot of people can manage to live for three years without even a kiss.but then,if i were you,would have done it on my wedding day.atleast for a change.That's why may be your friends find it very funny that you cant kiss even on your wedding day.
Tell them that's what you believe and nothing else.
---sungani on 8/15/08

What comes to mind first is that you must have an issue with it if you are bringing it up...I would pray and seek the Holy Spirit counsel..
---manda7995 on 6/29/08

Enoch63: I would not marry you. A kiss on the hand on my wedding day would be a totaly insult to me. I am a Christian female who desires more than a kiss on the hand.
On my wedding day all signals would say GO!
---Robyn on 6/26/08

Sometimes it is better to say nothing at all. The question is, who are your friends? Remain steadfast in your beliefs, they sound as if were from Gods word?
---William on 12/30/07

Wow! I admire you. Don't listen to them.
---Linda_Smith on 4/19/07

that is great. the Lord has dealt with me on this as well. good for you
---r.w. on 9/1/06


I am a young minister in my early 20's, and i totally live by only kissing my future wife on our wedding day. I havent found her yet but when i do, i will respect and honor her by doing that. It is something that i have decided for myself, not every one has to wait but it is my personal decision.

Here is something extra, the only kiss i will give her, however, is on her hand...
---enoch63 on 6/26/05

Edna...I personally know a couple who has made the same decision. It shows how deep your love is for one another and that you are true to each other. Not to mention it's very romantic!! You are making a decision that could very well be helping you two to stay true to the Lord. Don't worry about your friends, you do what you feel is best for you, and that will be one special kiss on your wedding day! One worth waiting for! God Bless!!
---Chelsea on 5/13/05

Edna, Most of us still support your decisions. You go girl!
---John on 5/11/05

Edna; It's your prerogative to hold this view,and persue it!To me the whole scenario seems "unnatural" If you see kissing only as a form of foreplay,then you've got the wrong slant on human touching,hugging,kissing, all forms of "communication" (we're talking 3yrs here) OK for "mail-order"brides,or cultures where parents choose your mate. I dont understand it but it's your privilege.
---1st_cliff on 5/11/05

Albert, Animals know how to do that. Your case does not hold water. Get some wisdom dude.
---Bob on 5/9/05

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No Jeff, I'm not exaggerating. If you're hungry, you eat - if you're thirsty, you drink, if you love, you hug and kiss and I do that in abundance.
---Albert on 5/9/05

Mary, if it's not paranoia, it's an abnormality.
---Albert on 5/9/05

Jerry, You are definitely taking that scripture out of context! It does not pertain to their situation. Pray for wisdom before giving advice to someone, because you could lead them down the wrong road. You could minister life or death to someone, and I hope you will minister life. Be careful, because we all have to answer to God.
---Peter on 5/8/05

2Co 13:12 Greet one another with a holy kiss.
---Jerry on 5/7/05

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albert-- That's a pretty drastic statement there. Don't you think that's exaggerating some?
---Jeff on 5/2/05

Albert.. That might have been the way you did as it was the way most of us did, but they decided in their heart to do this for God. This is not paranoia. Maybe you just have a paranoia view on life. Fear is a tormentor.
---Mary on 5/2/05

You do not need to justify your actons to anyone. I think it is beautifull to look forward to that 1st kiss on your wedding day. Many times kissing can lead to other things which you do not want before marraige. Your friends are the ones with the problem as they view kissing as the world would not as God would. Be proud and hold your head high. Tell them you are waiting for something so beautifull that they will never experience if they do not also wait. Also, make sure they are really friends. A true friend would respect your decision and support you in this.
---Marla on 5/2/05

John, when I kissed my then fiancee' it led her to believe that I love her and she loves me when she kissed me back.

Paranoia is very harmful mentally, physically and morally.
---Albert on 5/2/05

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1st Cliff and Albert, your both missing the point here. If they choose not to kiss, than that's their right. Nobody said that it was a sin, and kissing a baby is definately not the same. Even a child knows that. They want to do this for the Lord, and who are we to say different. Also, with some people kissing could lead to something more serious.
Let God be glorified in this.
---John on 5/2/05

Edna, that is a choice you two have made BUT, kissing one's partner even before marriage is not a sin.

Why kiss a baby or a family member and don't kiss one's fiance(e')? I used to kiss my fiancee' and used to hug her affectionately. So what?

If she didn't kiss me, I would be concerned.
---Albert on 5/2/05

I'm talking from experience,Jeff.
---1st_cliff on 5/1/05

Pay no attention to that 1st cliff behind the curtain! What surprises? Edna, your both doing a wonderful thing for God! It gives me hope. Thank you.
---Jeff on 5/1/05

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Edna ; I dont want to be the only negative voice on here,but weddings are emotional enough without any unecessary " surprizes".
---1st_cliff on 4/30/05

Hooray for you both! Carry on with your abstinence in spite of the barbs! God is smiling on you, believe me. People may harrass you but this issue is between you and God, not them. Fidelity to God will enhance your marriage and your wonderful experiences together. God bless you both and congratulations! May you both always be a beacon of light in this dark world.
---Elsie on 4/30/05

Tell them that others have done it in the past and that everything that you keep for your marriage stays special after the wedding day...Don't worry, I want to keep everything (even the kissing) for my wedding day and I have friends that had their first kiss in march, at their wedding day and I heard it was AWESOME!!! xox
---Cathy on 4/30/05

I like/respect you for that! Too many women today 'give in' to men who aren't even worthy of being their husbands! Why? They start down a path that's intended to bring a husband and wife closer than any other. Once they do, it's not surprising why many get pregnant before ever marrying... that's how our bodies we're designed. I wish more guys weren't such jerks about this. AND girls, if you meet one who stops your physical advances, give him the respect he deserves instead of calling him odd and worse. That's how Christian men are supposed to act!
---danie9374 on 4/30/05

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I agree with Terry, I think they may be jealous that they didn't honor each other in that way to please God and keep temptations away. God bless you both!
When is the wedding day?
---NV_Barbara on 4/30/05

Edna, I really admire you both. I believe that you have something special. Your friends don't live your life. You will be really blessed in the end. God bless the both of you.
---John on 4/30/05

I think this is beautiful , and if you need to tell your friends something tell them that it's a surefire way to make sure you don't do anything you might regret before you get married , and that you'll have plenty of time to kiss because you're going to be married untill death do you part!
---BeckyH on 4/30/05

All joking aside, the reason, I think, that your friends are making fun of you is because they probably think that you think that you would betray your boyfriend if you kissed him. But that is a greeting in the Eastern world, in Israel, and around there. We are asked biblically to kiss one another with a holy kiss and a kiss of love.
---gregg4933 on 4/30/05

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If for yuo, it is right not to kiss before yuor wedding, it is right. So stay with what is right for you

BUT, there is nothing wrong or sinful in kissing before the wedding ... and I think you need to be careful not to sound self-righteous when you explain your decision to yuor friends. Because perhaps most Christains do kiss before marriage, and it does not lead them into temptation, and so that is OK for them.

Neither is better than the other.
---Alan_of_U.K. on 4/30/05

Tell them that you want your wedding to be special, and so in this way it will be. You and your newly wed anticipating the day. You are a good role model for others to follow.
---Eloy on 4/30/05

Hey, i was sooooo glad to read your post! i am also doing the same thing. my boyfriend and i both agreed that it will lessen the chances for temptations to arise and take over. we both wanted to be 100% pure for each other. my friends too have made fun of us some, but i just tell them, i have to do what God shows me to be right. and most of the time, they drop it. so, let's just stand our ground, because it will be worth the wait! :) if you'd like a friend to talk to, feel free to msg me @ Christianet using my user name.
---chriss2995 on 4/30/05

Dear Edna,if that is the choice you and he have made,it's no one's business.Do as you are led.Bless you.
---RUSSELL on 4/30/05

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You know..that's ok. When your friends ask or make fun of you both, for not kissing. Just tell them that both of you love the Lord and are doing everything in your power to stay pure before the Lord.And before His people. There is a verse in the Bible that says something like do not do anything that would look like sin. And we do know that kissing could lead to sin. Good for you and your fiance.I know that God is pleased.So dont listen to their barbs.For you are right. Be Holy as God is Holy.
Bless you both.
---shearon on 4/30/05

Edna:-(WHY?--- do you consider it wrong?,a kiss is a question of compatibility,& stirring of emotions.It is natural & not sinful, kiss before you marry, it may give you different answers & feelings,may save you heart ache later.A kiss of sweetness is like a sip of wine.Don't worry about friends because they do not understand your underlying emotions& thoughts,God Bless You Lady.
---EMCEE on 4/30/05

You know..that's ok.
When your friends ask or make fun of you both, for not kissing. Just tell them that both of you love the Lord and are doing everything in your power to stay pure before the Lord.And before His people. There is a verse in the Bible that says something like do not do anything that would look like sin. And we do know that kissing could lead to sin.
Good for you and your fiance.I know that God is pleased.So dont listen to their barbs.For you are right. Be Holy as God is Holy.
Bless you both.
---shearon on 4/30/05

How do you feel about it? If you find comfort in your decision in the eyes of God, hold strong to it. When is the wedding planned? God bless you two, may you have a everlasting relationship with your decision of uniting as one in marriage. May God be the center of that decision and continual decisions in the future together.
What to say, "It is our decision between God and us." would be good. God bless.
---Blue on 4/30/05

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thank heavens there is a couple out there who are serious about keeping marriage pure and undefiled. tell your "friends" that they should not let the unsaved world influence them.
---curt on 4/30/05

Realize that your friends "making fun" is more than likely jealousy. If you and your boyfriend have agreed to this it is wonderful and your wedding day will be even more sacred. There are many others doing the same thing as you two. God Bless You and continue serving Christ!
---terry9798 on 4/30/05

I say GOOD FOR YOU. I have friends who did not kiss til their wedding day and it was beautiful!How old are you? My friends were 30 & 31 =)I wouldn't say anything to be honest. The Bible points out in many places that there is often more silence in wisdom.
---Heidi on 4/30/05

That is the old fashioned way because that is what they used to call 'making out, or 'making love.' But that is your call. Have you kissed anybody else?
---gregg on 4/30/05

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