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Should We Confess Our Affair Sin

The Bible says God allows divorce for adultery. That being said, would not God want the spouse to confess this sin to his/her spouse?

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 ---old_poster on 5/2/05
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NO, NO ,NO....I realize that we are living in a time where everybody wishes to butt in everyone's business. "BUT, I HATE IT. Spy's are everywhere. People are asked to spy on each other by the government. And the gossipers are everywhere. And I HATE IT". Saith the Lord thy God, and so says Catherine.
---catherine on 10/25/10

Unless you've ever been in these shoes, you just don't know. My spouse and I both had affairs. I know I didn't confess all to my spouse but I knew what he could take and vice versa. The Bible does NOT say we have to confess our sins to our spouse. The King James Version says in James 5:16 "confess your faults to one another." If I confess my faults to a Christian friend then I'm abiding God's word. Psalm 51:4 says "Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, [and] be clear when thou judgest." 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, HE is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness."
---Pam on 10/25/10

A fellow came to me once asking if he should tell his wife about one affair he had 15 years ago. He has been a loving husband and great father. In a situation like this, telling his spouse would not be a good idea because it would do much more harm than good as it would most certainly break up his family and hurt many people. He has confessed his sin to the Lord and never done it again.
---john on 6/5/09

Well, what are the other 9 commandments? I am sure all of you would love to be working with or hiring an unconfessed murderer, or thief. That would be a happy partnership wouldn't it? Why is adultry exempt from this confession and penance? If you do not confess it, you do not have to be sorry, be forgiven or admit your wrong doing. "oh wreched man that I am" even the apostle Paul admitted his sin to us. The marriage will not work unless the sin is confessed. It might limp along on three legs, but it will not be the marriage that the Lord planned for us and you are sentencing your spouse (one flesh) with you.
---Natalie on 6/4/09

If God is in us.We are the temple of the Holy Spirit.I dont believe that we can live free of unconfessed sin.The Spirit will convict us, by a guilt consciousness,by a restlessness on our part.There will be no peace for us.But if we continue in this sin we can sear our consciousness.It wont seem so bad.We have put our will above God's.If you are a Christian you need to seek God's forgiveness and break it off.You are both in the sin at this point.Do whats right in the sight of God.
---shearon on 8/26/08

Any marriage that is built on any deception will fail.
---denna7667 on 9/7/07

Do not confess to your partner because of your own guilty conscience. If you are going to ruin your life, the life of others, including children only confess to the lord AND A GOOD CHRISTIAN.repent,pray,he will heal you.if he forgives us, who are WE not to forgive ourselves.dont hurt your family to ease your conscience.grow with god.
---christina on 9/7/07

God wants mankind everywhere to confess and repent of whatever their sin may be.
---Elder on 5/9/07

I am sorry I used such words but after reading the question and then seeing your answer to it I was shocked. I hope your decision will be a good one for all concern. Divorce is never easy and confessions hurt so much. Do you really need to know? I think so long as God knows, we can live with out knowing.
---Lupe on 5/9/05

Old-P, every situation is different. You speak of your free will as if you need to know everything. Its all about you. well God thinks of everyone connected with that sin. Not just you. He cares about the families and children. You only care about satisfying you. To confess or not is different in every case. Free will does not give you the right if in return it hurts so many. Maybe God wants you to go through something that only He knows. It will always be what God wants not what you want.
---Lupe on 5/9/05

Old Poster, if you had an answer to your own question, why did you ask? Was it to see how other Christians feel? So you can tell them shame on you. What do you get out of that? People really have a problem with confessing. Some don't. You don't know how the other person is going to react. Are you ready to lose everyone? My wife didn't have to answer to me but to God. She had her own relationship with Christ. Her Lord and savior. God is the focus of our lives. You question others, and then shame them.
---Lupe on 5/9/05

Old-P: Looking at it from the other side, would you want your spouse to withhold the knowledge of her adultery from you?
---Jerry on 5/7/05

How much God must hate adultery that he allows divorce for it. For those who believe they don't have to confess to their spouses, shame on them for taking away the spouse's God-given right to free will.
---old_poster on 5/3/05

The very acts that we do, impacts the enviroment we live in, often with consequences. What is your reason for wanting to confess? If he is faithful to confess their sins He will forgive their trespasses. Are you willing to pay the consequences then confess to your spouse. If she is a Godly person as she should be she will forgive. God bless you and yours.
---Blue on 5/2/05

"...THAT BEING SAID" GOD HATES DIVORCE. Yes, there should be open dialog between a husband and wife. If one is thinking murder, then it is better to divorce. Malachi 2:15 makes it clear, GOD HATES DIVORCE. Christ Jesus further makes it clear that people divorce because their hearts are HARD. Paul commands AGAINST divorce. Divorce should not exist among believers. Read closely 1 Corinthians Chapter 7. A husband must not divorce his wife. A wife must not separate from her husband. Do not seek a divorce.
---michael on 5/2/05

When I was still married and my husband was having an affair, I wished someone had told me. If not him, his family or friends. It was like they didn't think I had a right to know. If I was not so nieve maybe I could have figured it out.
---Ulrika on 5/2/05

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When one confesses to a spouse the act of adultry, they must be prepared for the possibility of breaking a heart beyond repair. Before the confession, repentance must be sincere, a time of growing closer to God, and asking Him for guidence during the period of wooing the spouse back; understandably, the shock could cause them to withdraw beyond reach if a ground work of kindness, sincere acts of love, and consideration is not laid first.
---Lorna on 5/2/05

One would think that if the sin remains unconfessed, then you are only compounding them. In addition to adultery you are then adding deceit and dishonesty.
---Kat on 5/2/05

The way you ask your question suggests you are asking a tricky question but here is my straight answer. First, the Lord hates divorce. So he would just as soon we did not hide and have (an) affair(s). Second, He does not like his children to suffer for others' selfish escapades. In this situation He would probably prefer confession on the part of the guilty one but not to bring about a divorce with much suffering but hopefully to bring healing with less suffering.
---Pierr7958 on 5/2/05

Scripture says we are to confess our sins one to another. This is particularly important in marriage. Also,Jesus said that the reason the Father granted that provision for divorce is because of the hardness of our hearts (Matt 19:8). Basically, God hates divorce. Confession can indicate repentance, and true repentance can lead to forgiveness and reconciliation - which is always God's will. Hope this is helpful. daphn8897
---Daphne on 5/2/05

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