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Disabled People Treated Badly

Why do people treat disabled people badly? I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and people treat me differently and don't understand me.

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 ---Deb on 5/3/05
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i have 12 physical disabilities and 5 mental disabilities. i look normal but I am in surgery every 2 months or more for lufe sustaining surgeries. I am missing over 6 body organs due to infections. my family treats me horrible because they think im lazy. my family thinks they should sit around or lay in bed all day because they have to work, and that I should wait on them hand and foot because I dont work. I spent my entire childhood working and had to stop because of a tumor hanging out of my face the size of a watermelon. it was removed and over 30 of them kept coming back. I am tired of people being jealous that im disabled... its really NOT fun.
---israel on 5/2/19

I am disabled with RSD/CRPS and my SSDI is a joke! I was a RN making good money providing for myself now I barely make enough to feed myself. Everything goes up but not my SSDI. People look and me and shake their heads when I park in Handicap spaces. I have an invisible disability but people are so judgmental these days they don't care about others! Its a very sad world we live in. I only take comfort in knowing Jesus and spending time with Him everyday.
---DAnn on 3/6/17

My daughter has a disability that causes obesity. Everyone seemed to treat her like a sweet little girl when she was little and now that she is a big kid people do not show any empathy towards her. They will give me advice and not help or assist. At the end of the day I am the one who will always be there so I try to see it that way when I choose how to treat her. People are so quick to come up for solutions and they are quick to leave too so I'll take care of her the way I want.
---Sophia on 6/4/16

Some people are so shallow they can't see truth if it hit them in the face. It is easier for them to pick on others than admit the truth about themselves. A person can only help pain through medicine but ugly can be cured by shutting up. I live with pain all the time, except when the medicine helps it,due to two failed back operations leaving metal in two places in my spine on nerves yet some people are convinced it's in my mind. One thing I know God won't put more on me than I can bear. He is with us all when we call on His Name He will answer. Glory
---Darlene_1 on 3/13/16

hi,would like to add my 2cents to this topic I could really get into it.Try'n legallyblind or just blind some people treat you really bad others are very kind and appreciate you being alive and using what you have,my sight has gotten worse the cpr these days make writing very easy if you really get used to the cpr or android does it all you just got keep up..thank God for the little left they tell me no more lenses period so I am ok used to it now.thankyou for posting this topic! love of Jesus!
---Elena95555 on 3/12/16


That's OK. We all make mistakes, myself included. What irritates me is people who constantly misinterpret things, but are so intent on pushing their own agenda that they have no interest in apologizing nor actually learning the truth. An attitude of "My mind is made up. Don't confuse me with the facts", rather than the praiseworthy fact-finding attitude of the Bereans "who searched the scriptures daily to see if these things be so" (i.e. diligently doing research to verify facts, rather than merely taking them at face value and parroting them mindlessly). Unfortunately, there all too many people on these blogs (and others) that are set in their ways like that.
---StrongAxe on 6/26/15

Strongaxe, I am sorry as well. I jump to quickly myself without reading all the posts.
Thank you for explaining. Cluny was right.

I am praying for you.

BTW, that quote of Churchill is my favorite.

I also like the Iron Lady's quote "Soon you will run out of other people's money to give away."

The English are sharp.
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/25/15


You said: So are you joining them hating on me and Deb?

No, no! I'm sorry for the confusion. I was answering two posts in one message, one from you, and one from HHH.

HHH said: Take comfort. When someone snarls, "Well, you don't LOOK disabled," remember that they probably don't look stupid, either.

I replied: This appeals to my sense of ironic justice, especially if you tell them that to their face.

This is sarcasm, similar to the famous interchange:
Lady Astor: Mr. Churchill! You're drunk!
Winston Churchill: Yes, and you're ugly, but tomorrow I'll be sober.
(with the unstated implication "but you'll still be ugly")
---StrongAxe on 6/25/15

I can assure you that StrongAxe was not mocking you.-Cluny on 6/25/15

If you were not, I am sorry... --Nicole_lacey on 6/25/15

That's why I wrote both. I wasn't sure how to take his comment.

I believe he misunderstood my statement thinking I was being harsh to Deb. He might had read my statement too quickly.
I know Deb's pain, but I am just telling her that the world is hard and people are mean as I have learned first hand with my disease. Only true friends understand.

But, I didn't know he has leukemia. Thanks for telling me. He is in my prayers.
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/25/15

\\I hope you were not putting me down with my autoimmune disease.\\

I can assure you that StrongAxe was not mocking you.

Don't forget, he is fighting leukemia, which has few externally visible symptoms.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/25/15

This appeals to my sense of ironic justice, especially if you tell them that to their face.--StrongAxe on 6/25/15

I don't think I understand your comment?

I know exactly how Deb feels. Because I have been a victim of being called a fake or accused of being lazy.

So are you joining them hating on me and Deb?

Because I had MCTD since 1992.
I know how mean people are to those suffering with pain, but have no visible signs of being in pain.

People are mean!
I hope you were not putting me down with my autoimmune disease.
If you were not, I am sorry.
If you were, you should be ashamed of yourself.
---Nicole_lacey on 6/25/15


You wrote: Alas, there is no direct test for it at the present time. It's a diagnosis by elimination.

I read an article very recently that someone had actually discovered a measurable difference in fibromyalgia patients. They had enlarged and overly sensitive nerves. Now that a measurable physiological difference is known, perhaps it will be taken more seriously.
---StrongAxe on 6/25/15

I know several people--men, no less--who have fibro. I know they suffer greatly.

While identified in the 19th century (when it was called chronic rheumatism), it wasn't considered a real disease by the AMA until 1995.

Alas, there is no direct test for it at the present time. It's a diagnosis by elimination.

Pray for those who suffer from this.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/24/15


You said: They assume you are FAKING so you can be lazy. So no pity nor respect is given to you.

The same goes double for any kind of mental illness. An all-too-common attitude is that if you have a physical illness, see a doctor, but if you have a mental illness, you're supposed to deal with by sheer force of will.

HHH said: Take comfort. When someone snarls, "Well, you don't LOOK disabled," remember that they probably don't look stupid, either.

This appeals to my sense of ironic justice, especially if you tell them that to their face.
---StrongAxe on 6/25/15

Sorry Deb, but the people are not treating you bad because you HAVE Fibromyalgia, but because they don't think it is a TRUE illness.

I have MCTD an autoimmune disease like Lupus as your disease.
People can't see your pain.
They assume you are FAKING so you can be lazy. So no pity nor respect is given to you.

I learned the hard way.
Don't try to get others to believe you because the pain doesn't decrease with their understanding.
Just keep saying to yourself, I know my pain is real and I am not crazy.
Only Jesus understands your pain.
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/24/15

Take comfort. When someone snarls, "Well, you don't LOOK disabled," remember that they probably don't look stupid, either.
---HHH on 6/22/15

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I once went with my sister to walmart in georgia. she was and is handicapped and had her handicap tag. we watched a young girl park in a handicap parking space and my sister had to walk a long way...with my help. we reported her to walmart officials and they said there was nothing they could do. the girl who stole the parking place used it to "run" in walmart. It was so obvious she wasn't handicapped.
---shira4368 on 6/8/12

I am 24 and I had hip surgery. Today I parked in a handicapped spot and a man drove behind me. I got out of my car, but I forgot to put my card up, I was going to get my walker out of the backseat. The guy said, "You know that's a handicapped spot right?" I was trying to be nice and tell him, "Yes, I know. I have my card." He kept say, "What?" Then I felt very offended and I yelled, "I am handicapped!" His attitude seemed as though he thought I was lying. He replies, "Oh...okay...Well, I didn't see your card." In which I replied, "I know. I have it, I didn't put it up yet." I started crying because I was barely out of my car and I got hounded because he didn't see my sticker.
---Felicia on 6/7/12

Hello,family,glad bless be on here again.Notice several aids patients are feel comfortable now,talk with me when they see me(these are folks who didn't know) when I used to help aids patients yrs.Ago when people were paronoid people with Hiv/aids. they talk nice 'n we hug! I never had issue bout that. They know that I have cancer. My own belief (I could be wrong) I believe that the pressure on to save all aids patients but,here not so,much cancer patients. I had cancer kept after them please tell the truth... Trust only the Lord! Now my opinion for myself. Thankyou
---ELENA on 4/30/12

Cassie, I wish I could say something that would console you. People who make fun of anyone for any reason are as low as whale cr__p. No one respects them and neither should you. Hold you head as high as you can and keep going. I can't imagine what you are going thru at such a young age. God bless you sweet girl. My prayers are for you from this day forward.
---shira4368 on 11/10/11

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You know, you shouldn't feel ashamed of what happened.. you shouldn't even care. I'm disabled too, I had a stroke two years ago and I am now only 15 years old. Its very hard dealing with disabilities. Especially at a young age or at any age period. People are constantly making fun of me and my disability. I don't understand, I'm still the same person. I'm just a little different physically. What hurts the most is that my ex bf and my ex best friend are getting people to gang up on me & make fun of me. But you know I just gotta be strong and not worry. I hope this kind of helped.
Just worry about yourself and nothing else whatever makes you happy counts. :)
---cassie on 11/10/11

Howard, that is the saddest thing I ever read. God bless that sweet man. Personally I have never seen anyone treated bad because of a handicap but I do know it happens. I just hope it doesn't happen in front of me. There is a side of me that will come out...quick.
---shira4368 on 10/6/11

people treat disabled people badly because theyre disabled and enjoy making fun of disabled people and i catch hell from it im sorry i was born with better genetics than you were born with
---Cr1ppl3_fl4m3r on 10/6/11

wow! I too,many handicapps since 18yrs. Now 2nd tm with Cancer.. Can't tell you but,yes, mistreated. Believe it or Not! God has given me such A Peace ... spiritual Peace Of mind! I believe Jesus is so close, His Love has done so Much for Me! When I have felt pain Immediately I get to prayn' and Thankfull to say.. It Works! God is Real! Pain goes... Away! Thanks to My Lord!People will not bother you if (I beg not to offend becuz we all goin thru different handicaps) just tryn to Encourage all here! Be carefull! 'found out of our own conversation... Can be a Hindrance! The bible say " ...Death & life are in the tongue!" God is Real!
---ELENA on 6/9/11

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You may want to go on Google and get online a Fybromyalgia support group. There are some and you may gets some tips.
I have had this for 9 years and people do not seem to understand. My meds from a pain clinic help a lot and I quit explaining why I can't go and do things sometimes. One good thing, it is not life threatning and one has to learn to work around it. Also one can get disabiity if it keeps you from working.
---Virginia on 4/26/11

dear friends i am a disable christen woman who only see her whole life comming to a bad end, because i have been save i dont worry about the the way i must go out of the world i just want you to let cear about those who want to help them selfs, and who are will to pay all there disabilty to get out of dept, i have search this pc for wekks looking for just one group who will trrust me one of gods children to pay back the loan i neeed to be able too live a normal life again. i was sexully abused all my life and i thought i could try to be around men and others in a work place but all i did was go out screamming every time i saw some one looking at me, so i sit here everyday of my life wanting to work from home, its true
---shirleyjune_vernon on 3/6/11

Part I

Fibromyalgia is a real cross to bear. If people don't treat you "differently", they may believe "it's all in your head"!

If a disability is evident, many people would like to help, but fear accidentally offending. If they rush to help, they may deprive someone of the dignity of independance. If they stand back, they may appear uncaring. Some disabled people are defensive and react strongly to innocent small talk. (e.g. I greeted a hospitalized paraplegic patient once with "how do you feel?". His angry response? "I don't feel!")

It's normal for disabled persons to feel anger over their condition, but if they do not master that, they will find themselves sadly isolated.
---Donna66 on 6/18/09

I also have Fibromyalgia and Lupus, etc. and for years I never told anyone in my Church. Finally in our Ladies Bible Study Group I told them. Needless to say they had never heard of some of them. Some knew a little bit about Lupus. Since then they have been asking me about it and wanting to know.

A couple of weeks ago I had a complete and total flare. While getting over it I tripped and fell and hit my head and shoulder on a table. I ended up with a concussion. I missed not going to church for 3 weeks. Today I went to our Bible Study and they couldn't do enough to help me.

I think it's because they don't understand and if they don't understand something they put their heads in the sand.
---Norma on 6/18/09

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I have a friend who worked for an energy company. Over a period of 16 months, due to a strange disease, he endured 13 hospitalizations, 17 surgeries, 6 amputations, and died 3 times in the OR (ultimately loosing both legs above-knee). During the same time, his wife left him. He was pushed to the brink of poverty and homelessness due to legal and medical bills. Yet his boss, who lived in a mansion on the Outer Banks, fired him for some insignificant oversight, just to get rid of him. Now he is homeless, unemployed, and relying on public assistance. Yet the boss thinks of himself as a big Christian person. Amazing how evil people hide behind Christianity.
---Howard on 6/18/09

ok i thank you
---mellissa on 3/26/09

Rare is the person who is capable of intuitively understanding how to interact with the disabled in a way that preserves their dignity and remaining abilities. I have FMS/CFIDS and other auto immune diseases now, and I was one of the callous not so long ago. I understand, there are others too. For those who don't, chalk it up to a lesson on compassion the Lord hasn't taught them yet.
---lisa on 1/11/09

Anne 6984 & Frances008~ Frances, Those were very understanding comments, and I appreciate it. Hi Anne, I also have an autistic son who is 14. I know your struggles and pain, but I agree with you that these autistic ones are sort of like God's angels. They are actually so pure, and each day I feel so blessed to have a special needs child. I think perhaps the reason there are so many autistic people around now, is that they are some of the few people God can actually tolerate still here on earth. :) You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers. I've actually met a lot of people who adore my son, so I've been blessed, but I've also met the opposite...I just try and realize that it is an area that they have not grown in yet.
---Anne on 11/11/08

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Anne, if I were you I would seek out, or start a group where you did something for such grown up children. Something they could enjoy and if possible be trained at the same time. In Japan they have trampouline clubs for autistic grown ups and children. The teachers are WONDERFUL!!!! They get severely affected adults to do great things on trampoulines. Could you do some research or get something for yourself. God helps those who help others and themselves :-) All the best. Include a relaxation time for all the parents to be together while they watch.
---frances008 on 11/10/08

Anne, I have seen in church a single woman (not middle aged but younger) telling off a woman whose son has autism - this happened outside the church hall, because he was playing on the stairs. The mother had removed him from the church due to potentially disturbing others and she was listening over an intercom to the service whilst watching her son. Autism and other diseases are not easily recognized. However, some people who go to church are just white washed tombs, hypocrites. They have no love in their hearts, let alone discernment.
---frances008 on 11/10/08

I have been disabled all my life. Born at 26 weeks gestattion,I have cerebral palsy in the lower half of my body. An accident in my 20's increased my disabilty so I must now use a wheelchair when going out in public. I have a college degree & a wonderful daughter,but I find most people,especially those at church treat me like I have no brain or feelings. It is so difficult to understand why people react like that,so I usually sit in the back of the church & stay out of people's way. I pray most for my disabled brothers & sisters because I know what they are going through.
---sharon on 11/10/08

People do things out of ignorance. Pray for such ones, they know not what they do. Anyone can become disabled at any time. What we sow, we will reap. God will not be mocked.Flip side: I have encountered disabled people who were arrogant and haughty and refused help of any kind.
---Robyn on 9/17/07

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Deb, I am disabled as well so I do understand what you are saying. The main thing that I have encountered is by doctors. If you are on Medicare, as I am and probably you too, I have noticed that if you do not have great insurance coverage, you do not get good medical treatment compared to someone who has excellent insurance. Has anyone else experienced this who has Medicare?
---Cynthia on 9/5/07

It seems to me that our government will not do enough to help the disabled American works lead a better life. God put this on this earth to help other people, in my opinion.
---Chris on 9/5/07

If people had the fear of God in them what a better world it would be. But that is not the case. No fear of God no regard for man. The weak is always most vulnerable. Wicked people the devil will use to hurt the most vulnerable. What can I say the devil is MEAN.
---catherine on 4/16/07

it is not bibical for people to treat anyone badly diabled or not. Remerber CHRIST loves us no matter how our body/mind is. All we have to do is love him and live for him
---sandr5737 on 4/16/07

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I read this sweet promise of Zephaniah 3:19'I will rescue the lame and gather those who have been scattered';Maybe there's fear of the handicapped.We get scared to see another who is "not like me".
I happen to be petite,(4 ft 6") and when I walk with my pocketbook,many people seem to wonder if I really am an Adult.The truth is we need to look inward & Outward to find the real Person. We all have hearts,feelings,minds and dreams.God made us Unique in a very Special Way.
---rosem4839 on 4/16/07

being treated badly espiecially by Christians who tell everyone to "pull yourself up by your bootstraps because all you need is faith..." is par for the course, it is part of being disabled... -someone who lives with a disability...-
---thoma9534 on 4/16/07

Deb, I think if people can't see your disability they have a tendency to dismiss it. They don't realize how hard it is to deal with constant crippling pain. I am disabled due to pain and 2 failed back surgeries but I must walk with a cane and people are wonderful and kind to me,but due to the cane they can see there is something wrong. I'm so sorry you are mistreated. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 9/13/06

People treat others badly because of sin. Many people will never understand, but God does since He knows all. Seek Him, the comfortor...I know this is painful since I had a serious accident at age 6, spent 6 years having surgeries, may be frightened, in pain, physically and emotionally, asking why?...the enemy tries to use these things to discourage, create self pity in us, bitterness etc, whereas God uses such for the good to develop things like compassion...Bless you
---christina on 9/13/06

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Fibromyalgia was first describe din the medical literature in the mid 1800's where it was called "chronic rheumatism." ONly in 1995 did the AMA consider it a real disease--there are many doctors who still do not.

But the PAIN is real to the sufferer!

There are many men who have it. I know several myself. And someone has started a fibro block just today!

God bless you, dear.
---Jack on 6/1/05

This is my pet subject. As a mother of a disabled 29yr old son, (Congenital Heart defect from birth, autism,
now schizophrenia) I find that even the church going Christians show little interest or compassion towards GODS angels. Very little is available, neither for them nor their 24hr-a day; 365days-a years carers...Anyhow, let GOD be their judge not me, Anne
---Anne6984 on 5/14/05

i think it is not part of this net and im not disabled but i know that when people make fun or treat u badly for ur illness it is horrible.i know that all u have to do is pray to god and he will help you.
---mandy on 5/12/05

Someone said I missed the point of the question - the point is about abuse not about the diagnosis.

However, different diagnosis, different type of abuse.
Abuse is abuse. Talk about it over and over again until someone listens and can help. Call a police counsellor if you need too. Tell your acting family doctor or your specialist. Tell you minister or religious confident. Just pray until you get help for the abuser. Once the abuser is helped you will be too.

But why? Essentially, I would say "sin" in the abuser is causing more "sin" in the abuser.
---Barbara on 5/6/05

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I thoroughly understand how you are feeling. I also have fibromyalgia. It's funny how now people only see the illness and focus on that. That alone has taught me not to focus on it and made me focus more on God and my relationship with Him. He is present with me through the good days and the bad. My own family doctor thinks it is all in my head. lol Little does he know but the specialist knows and has been very helpful. This illness has given me the opportunity to get closer to God and others now ask me how I cope. God has given me a precious peace through it all. John 14:27
---Susan4367 on 5/4/05

Dear One: Fibromyalgia is a relatively new disease. In time the medical gurus will nail this one too. That said, we can never know what another person goes through until we walk in their shoes. Jesus was our perfect example of compassion. If folks aren't responding to you with empathy, then just "shake the dirt from your shoes" and move on. The important thing is that Jesus said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Concentrate on this and be beautiful you, pray and stay anchored in the Word at the foot of the cross. Share Jesus with others as you learn from Him.
---Elsie on 5/3/05

Some might ask, why do people mistreat nurses... African Americans... short people... poor people... sales people... waitresses... fat people... skinny people... My point is, no matter how you identify yourself, there will someone who will mistreat you. But if you look for the good, you will see many kind people also.
---Robin on 5/3/05

I have been dealing with Fibromyalgia (FM)and Ankylosing Spondylitis/Osteo Arthritis for over 20 years. People are very understanding about the arthritis, but many for some reason think that FM is "all in one's head". I have even had some doctors say that FM is just a new word for hypochondria! They just don't know, and so I pity them and try not to take it personally. Anyone with FM or arthritis or other disabilities - contact me if you need to talk. I listen well and don't judge.
---Carol on 5/3/05

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I have a brother that is diagnosed with mental retardation. I am used to having people make fun of him because of his disability. I am so used to having people laughing at him that it really dosen't bother me anymore. I have come to understand that the more different people are the more they are made fun of. I just take from God that people are made different, and that we all have something wrong with us. No one person is perfect. I will be praying for you.
---erin on 5/3/05

I cannot agree with your generalization. I have been disabled through Parkinson for close to a year now and I NEVER have been mistreated in connection with my disability. On the contrary, there is not enough room here to show the many times I have benefitted from my condition. Sometimes I feel sorry for the "well" folks! (Ex. getting wheel chair service at airport + preboarding instead of standing in sec.l.,chin.l. and board.l.)
---Pierr7958 on 5/3/05

I also have fibromyalgia. I hurt and am so fatigued right now it is ridiculous. Medication does help. I am blessed with a supportive family. Since there is no test to actually show you have fibromyalgia many people think you are just making it up. Contact me if you want to chat. Be blessed and take care.
---kathy1014 on 5/3/05

You hear the diagnosis. You are numb in disbelief. Then you try to go back to the other normal life. You can't. Diagnosis is there and you haven't told anyone. Finally you take a deep breath and tell someone. It doesn't matter what they say really - it just a relief to say this is the way I am now and this is the reason for some new things in my life - like pills and more visits to the doctor. Now it is their adjustment not yours. Friends change in all stages of life. We are like ships passing through in the night. Sometimes we stop at the same port for awhile but then we move on.
---Barbara on 5/3/05

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The lack of understanding causes people to fear for their own health and mortality. It's far easier for others to brush it off, ignore it or rationalize their own behaviour, than to face the fact of their own frail humanity. "But for the Grace of God, there go I." Just my opinion. Hang in there Deb. You can choose to be a tremendous blessing to all you meet. God bless you!
---CarolT on 5/3/05

It is a mistake and lack of understanding to treat disabled people badly. Jesus associated with all kinds of people and if we too need to follow his example. Ignore them and do you what you does.
---bob on 5/3/05

I too have fibromylgia, along with being profoundly deaf, heart condition, and diabetic and people don't treat me badly because I don't let them....I am still a human being and a sinner saved by many disabled people want to be treated differently and pitied when I get right into the front line of the battlefield and do my job like everyone else...I am unique and God made me in His image so why should I be treated any differently...don't allow people to mistreat you...stand up for who you are and for the person God created you to be!
---Fran4857 on 5/3/05

Deb,I'm sorry to hear you are being treated badly because of an illness.My Mom and I have found just the opposite where we live.Our disabilities are more obvious than yours, and perhaps thats your problem.People often don't relate to what they can't see.Others can't feel how bad you hurt so naturally they don't understand what a burden that type pain can be.Perhaps a support group of others who have that disorder might help.Read your Bible,it says bless those who curse you ,pray for those who dispitefully use you.
---Darlene_1 on 5/3/05

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To tell you the truth I didn't realize that fibromyalgia was considered a disability. How does it affect you? I'm sorry you are treated badly , my nine month old daughter has just been diagnosed with cerebral palsy and I'm scared for her , for all the closed minded people she will encounter like those you are now encountering. I hope things look up for you soon
---BeckyH on 5/3/05

If you have been for a length of time with fibromyalgia and have just been diaagnosed with that disease, you are now on the road to understanding yourself and how to deal with it. First, understand yourself and treat yourself well and then the rest will follow.
---gregg4933 on 5/3/05

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