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What Makes A Happy Marriage

What constitutes a happy marriage? I am afraid because after a colourful wedding most of my pals either separate or divorce.

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 ---peter on 5/17/05
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Loving and liking who you marry,first and foremost. Love is the glue that holds everything together. The other details and problems can be solved if the glue is there.Without that magic ingredient, marriage is doomed from the starting gate. Fancy wedding,cakes,limos,honeymoons are all in vain if that one ingredient is missing. Love is the driving force.
---Robyn on 3/7/08

Blessings of encouragement on you & yours Rebecca D.I was married 649 months & hit the jackpot of eternal love & didn't know it 54years+1month.Strange what a reminisce can do.
---Emcee on 2/16/08

Make sure that you include God in your lives. It is hard to put God first above your spouse, children. It isn't easy and I often have a hard time doing so. I'm sure Jesus understands because he knows how a mother can be. But a happy marriage needs God in control. I love being married, almost 10 years and 13 surgeries (on my part) later and we're still going strong. I have a blessed marriage.
---Rebecca_D on 2/16/08

Marriage is a solemn CONTRACT (VOW) Not WOW! before God separated by Death only, if you desire to remain in His favour.Both Parties should make it clear with full understanding.before saying "I do"This is the law of GOD, not man.
---Emcee on 2/15/08

Patience and compromise. I know. I've been married 41 years.
---InimicusStultitiae on 2/15/08

Amen Olive, sounds fine with me.

One added thought - to stay married -
2 people must believe there is no way out. And that God will lead you together.
Understand what abuse is and avoid between the 2 of you.
---barbara67 on 2/15/08

a happy union between two people calls for mutual respect for one another. understanding and tolerance are the key words to any successful marriage. be ready to apprecitate small favours done and affirm each others good qualities in private and public. never ridicule him/her in public. settle conflicts in a christlike manner. always be honest and open with one another.never try to be the boss. more than anything else let christ be the centre of your marriage.
---olive on 6/14/07

Lisa, I merely thought that before and after my post people continued to look for steps and formulas. I do not NEED anyone to respond or not. I just looked at all those formulas and steps and it makes me very saddened to think that folks want a Godly marriage and then think they can DO IT or make it happen.
---rachel on 5/25/05

Rachel, it does sound like you are a personality type that feeds on reactions and that's why you felt surprised that no one responded. However, you never stated that you were seeking a response, so as everyone else does, they simply state their position for the writer of the blog to see. Unless your comment hits a nerve in someone and they want to respond, relax, we all saw your comment.
---lisa on 5/24/05

Before you get married, talk about EVERYTHING you expect from your partner. Make sure your basic values mesh. And it goes without saying to make Christ the center of your home.
---Becky on 5/23/05

part2: Formulas may make it easier for us to DO. but when you DO everything step by step and something is displeasing to you in the marriage then where does that leave you except disapointedand questioning and looking for more formulas to "fix" things! Accept the freedom in Christ that is at the Cross. Why DO formulas when you can BE IN-CHRISTED?!!! Believe me. this stepping up to the Cross receiving from Christ and then giving that to others is what works! Visible proof daily in this home.
---rachel on 5/21/05

part one: I am a bit surprised that after the answer linda smith gave, and after I could testify of the Christ in her marriage that I have seen in her home no one responded to that. not because I feel slighted as if you need to respond to me, but a question was asked and viisble truth was given and everyone acted like it wasn't spoken at all. Are we looking for God or formulas?
---rachel on 5/21/05

Amen Louis.

Holy Matriomony has a new light after your thoughts.


I still like a new devotional Bible called
"Couples" - with daily marriage building devotions. Published by Zondervan.
---barbara67 on 5/20/05

Within your question lies the problem. God does not call us to "happy marriages." He calls us to "holy marriages". The result of a holy marriage is HAPPINESS. Unfortunately, happiness has become the criteria for a successful marriage. What happens when the spouse cannot fulfill the other's expectations? The marriage suffers. Determine that your marriage will be different. You should pursue pre-marital counseling before marraige.
---louis on 5/18/05

Lots of great advice has already been given. I especially like what Katie's pastor says about marriage. One thing I would like to add is that the concentration should be on the marriage, not on the wedding. Perhaps your pals missed this point when they said their vows. Some of the best marriages I know started with the most humble of weddings, but this isn't to say that having a wonderful celebration is wrong. The point in any case is the marriage, not the party.
---Tanya1566 on 5/18/05

Both of you should make God your priority. Love, respect,honesty,etc will follow.It is amazing how God will work in your life. Study the bible together, the answers are all found there. Remember the road to God is narrow and challenging. My husband and I pray together every night. It has helped us to have a stronger relationship and able to forgive at the same time. Never carry on an arguement to the next day, we have tried to practise this, it has helped :) LOVE and FEAR God above all.
---Lovelyn on 5/18/05

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The goal of life is not marriage but Love. God is love. Thoe who function God as Love are those wh have finished their course in marital love and marriage. These can understand what is being worked out in the race and note with joy the activities that partake of a higher spirit of love. Marriage fulfills itself in any ego when the male and female qualities of being areunited within one form (good for man and wife to greater love with each other)
---Ira on 5/17/05

A happy marriage is one where the couple:
establishes its private home (privacy factor)-
courtship continues-remembers that God joined the two-guards thoughts/does not let senses trap you-never retires for night angry-keeps Christ in center of home-prays together-does not criticize or nag-practices temperance-is clean/modest/orderly-speaks softly/kindly-makes angels feel at home,
---Pierr7958 on 5/17/05

part 2 They do not have a step 1,2,3,4,5, formula for a happy marriage.They just step up to the Cross and recieve and then step back and give!
It is awesome indeed
---rachel on 5/17/05

I have had the honor of being in Linda Smith's home and observing her marriage and family life. This woman walks what she believes. Out of her vital relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ she gives to all. Her husband, her children, her church Family, and to any that God brings to her. I have seen the truth livedout that she and her husband love Christ more than they love each other and the love they have for each other flows from HIM through them to each other.
---rachel on 5/17/05

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A happy marriage is made up with two persons who fear God and unite to make each other happy. Indeed, I learnt that we don't marry to be happy but to make our partner happy... but in fact, it is the same thing!
---Perpetue on 5/17/05

My pastor once said, close the safety hatch, meaning remove divorce from your vocabulary entirely. Do not even let your mind go there. Enter the marriage with Christ as the head and center of your relationship, and be willing to be stretched. Be willing to change, and to compromise. Leave stubborness at the door.
---Katie on 5/17/05

A good marriage is a planned event with prayer and preparation before the committment. Then, it must be 110% effort by both daily to make it happy.
Expect good relations if you go full speed after checking the each others expectations. Planning-likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, providing money and energy, faith in God, hopefully of the same church. You have a whole bookstore or library for instructions. You have to make it work not others. Marriage is
god's gift to both of you.
---chuck on 5/17/05

What makes the most wonderful marriage is Jesus in the midst. A marriage where both the husband and the wife find their completeness in Jesus Christ alone have no need to make demands on each other because their complete fulfillment is found in Him. I read a sign one time that said that marriage was the union of two forgivers. I modified that to say that marriage is the union of two givers whose giving is prompted by the Giver within.
---Linda_Smith on 5/17/05

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Be born-again, read and believe the Word of God, love, respect and communicate with each other, pray mightily, build in protections by doing activities together, attend a Bible believing church, learn what God says about marriage, have faith, trust and obey the Lord, and have mature Christian mentors who have been there, done that!! God's greatest gift is a happy marriage.
---Elsie on 5/17/05

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