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Older Man Man Loves Younger Girl

I have a friend who is 59 and saved. He looks like he is in his forties. He is in love with a 43 year old saved woman. He asked me what I think. All I could say is, it's possible. They do look good together.

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 ---David on 5/22/05
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The age difference is SWEET. As long as they LOVE each other and are COMMITTED to each other. And they are willing to go through any hasseling from other people. It's COOL.
---Gordon on 12/13/07

nine to meet you
---waropat on 12/13/07

My father was 16 years older than my mother, and they were together until he died, and she was never interested in another man. My husband is 16 years older than I am, and we have been married for 33 years, he is my best friend, and I love him now as much as I did the day we married.
---Gayla on 12/12/07

Age is just a number. I have a 20year difference with my husband, and we work perfect together. Looking good together does not matter, what matters is how they respect each other. If they are both saved and put God first then there will be only the typical problems like any other marriage. With my husband I know God put us together and we don't even realize the age difference. God first is all that matters not AGE!!!
---sarah on 12/12/07

Considering their ages, this does not appear to me to be a problem. If he was 59 and she was 26 I would think twice about it. Even then, if it is the will of God, who is anyone else to determine whether it will work or not. The Bible says like should marry like. My perception of this that they should share the same beliefs. Race or age are not a factor.
---Rose on 11/28/07

There are many twists in the road for mature people to engage in wedlock.Because the 2 completely fully developed are looking at a future for themselves .Q?what about the prior established fixturesdo they stand on the side lines/Like Robyn Said its not meant for every onebut it can workIf you have tobite the bullet & launch YOUR OWN SHIP.Untill you can do that there will be many Broken hearts .The element of Risk is there, point is ITS A one way street no U turns.
---Emcee on 5/18/07

Ruth 3:10 > Boaz called her "daughter" > sounds like there was an age difference. And Boaz married Ruth. But Ruth had stayed faithful to God and God's people, including staying with her mother; so she was a sound woman who put caring for her family first. And Boaz said she was being KIND by marrying him, an older man > by being so younger, she could be healthy enough to take care of him in his older age. Her marriage was a FAMILY thing, not just for herself.
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/18/07

Ruth's marriage was not an isolated relationship, but in balance with all that was going on with her and various people of God in her life. So, age difference was a very paltry concern, compared to how ALL of us could benefit from her doing the right thing...the faithful to God thing, the kind thing for her mother and Boaz, and how their son is in the geneology of Jesus. So, be led by God so you do what fits with all that our Father knows.
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/18/07

I would want to see how our relating is in balance with all our other relating in our church family. If our relationship is of God, all our other brothers and sisters will be helping and improving us with each other, WHILE we also are helping and improving the others in their marriages and other relating. We are "members of one another" who depend-so on each other. What does age have to do with this?
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/18/07

We are "members of one another" (Romans 12:5, Ephesians 4:25) > holy matrimony is a "gift from God" (1 Corinthians 7:7)...of God's own ALL-loving love for helping us to love ALL people; so, how is their relating helping them and other brothers and sisters to become more ALL-loving, versus merely isolating them with each other? How they "look" just with each other is kind of irrelevant > "'For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?'" (Matthew 5:46)
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/18/07

"Then he said, 'Blessed are you of the LORD, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich.'" (Ruth 3:10)
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/18/07

Oh, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.
I knew the geezers would immediately bring their baseball bats. Robyn is telling the truth. It's men that are responding. Talk to young chickadees, that have married much older men. They don't think it's so neat when the guy is 70 and they are 50, or even 45 and 65. No, that's too much of a spread.
---Wheezer on 5/17/07

The good thing about marrying an old goat is that they will eat just about anything; even a tin can.
The bad thing is that the older the goat, have you noticed that old goaty smell?
---BillyGoat on 5/17/07

Goats are browsers, they eat up, not down

Goats need protection from dogs

Don't put your hand in their mouth: their teeth are like razorblades

Goats love being brushed

Goats hate people touching their ears

All goats have beards and 'tassels' under the chin

Every herd has pack leader. They're often the oldest and get to eat first.

Goats are smelly. This is because they have a musk gland behind the polls on the back of their head.
---BillyGoat on 5/17/07

I'm not bragging, besides, I'm just a number in here but last year, I made friend with a guy. We met and went up some stairs.

As usual, I ran up the stairs two at a time and he crawled up very slowly. When he arrived he told me than when I'm his age, I'll slow down also.

Spoke about the year of birth - same year, same month - he was five days older than me.

Wheezer, or whatever your name is, you are generalizing and speaking with lack of experience and lack of thinking.
---Caring on 5/17/07

Weezer: why start making remarks like weezer/geezer. I'm offended! Also there are a lot of divorces these days. It does not matter how old or how long your together. Also NO marriage is a walk in the park. I've also seen 70 year old men alot stronger than alot of 18-25 yr old men. It depends on the person. If they have a GODLY marriage it work out.Yes you may loose a spouse early, yes you may have to take care of them,yes you may end up with the best years of your life also.
---mike on 5/16/07

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Listen to Robyn, she knows. I think more than a decade is too much. The older guys are going to come on here and tell you how wonderful it is, but for women, it's not.
Men will tell you they're strong as an old bull, but they're not. That goes right out the window, and not all younger wives think that's hunky dory. Alot of marriages split up around the 55 years old/30th anniversary mark. Say it isn't so, sorry, but it is so.
Don't marry a wheezer/geezer when you're a young chickadee.
---Wheezer on 5/16/07

An older man spoke to me yesterday claiming his other half don't understand he's a little to old for the school runs he recons she said age was but a number. I recon he said I can match any young man marry me and see, now his Hips/ Knees and back have given way lol True story!
---Carla5754 on 5/16/07

First of all he's saved and she is too. Praise God for that. Age makes no difference, if two people love and respect one another. He is 59 years old. No baby for sure and she is not either. Not a great big age gap. A May-December romance/marriage is tricky to pull off. Age is going to take its toll on their youthfulness and their looks. I am sure 59 already knows what I am talking about. Will have to make another post. Need more space.
---Robyn on 5/16/07

cont from last post: I married an older man when I was 23. He was over 20 yrs older. We looked good together then, also. Almost 30 yrs later. Daddy don't look so good anymore. Just keeping it real. Neither does mama(me) but a liitle bit spunk and youthfulness remain, for now. Getting close to the edge(laugh)You have to really grow up then when these things start to happen. Making compensations and xcuses. Smoothing things over etc...Are u up to this difficult challenge? Only you know the answer to that.
---Robyn on 5/16/07

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Dear friend it is so much I could say about this issue. I did marry someone over 20 yrs older than myself. Just let me say this. If I had to do it all over again. Would I? With him. Yes!!! It hs been almost 30 years now and we are still together. It has been nice. He is still the same man I married. Kind and gentle to me. He has been a wonderful husband and a decent father. I thank God for my marriage. Would I recommend this type marriage? No. Not for everyone.
---Robyn on 5/16/07

Caring, the only person that can change my dads mind is Almighty God.
---Kay on 5/16/07

When at first my brother objected, I quoted him one verse: Mind your own business.

Why not speak to a councellor hoping s/he may talk back to your Dad and get him to think differently? Again, it's not the years but how a person feels.

I wish you luck, and if you or him can afford it, I would move to another house. No one could have stopped me from marrying my wife because we both loved each other enormously and still do.
---Caring on 5/16/07

Caring, my dad wont talk to me about it. Right now he is so angry with me that its really best that I don't talk with him about it. He thinks its morally wrong for an older man and a younger woman to marry or date. I've brought up every biblical example that I can find and he still believes its disgusting. I can't simply ignore my dad. I'm renting my house from him and he has threatened to kick me out if I date or marry ANY older man.
---Kay on 5/15/07

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Kay, you may need to talk to your Dad about it. You're not a baby and I don't know why he threatened to disown you.

I originally had opposition from my older brother and I ignored him, but now him and his family love my wife dearly.
---Caring on 5/14/07

"Kay, they reacted favorably because they know I'm full of energy and life plus my wife is a super good and mature person in fact my family love her a lot."

Caring, I wish my family would accept my man. I'm 32 years old and he is 49. My dad told me if I marry an older man he was going to disown me. So I can either have a husband or a father. Can't have both.
---Kay on 5/14/07

Kay, they reacted favorably because they know I'm full of energy and life plus my wife is a super good and mature person in fact my family love her a lot.
---Caring on 5/12/07

"At times, it's not how old one is but how s/he feels. I'm 20 years older than my wife but when we race I beat her - she climbs the stairs one at a time and I run them up two at a time - so who's older?"

Caring, how did your friends and family react to you marrying a younger woman?
---Kay on 5/11/07

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"...when we race I beat her - she climbs the stairs one at a time and I run them up two at a time - so who's older? :))"

lol...I like that! God Bless!
---Mrs._Morgan on 5/10/07

At times, it's not how old one is but how s/he feels. I'm 20 years older than my wife but when we race I beat her - she climbs the stairs one at a time and I run them up two at a time - so who's older? :))
---Caring on 5/10/07

I'm 48 and 59 is close to crossing the line with me. My mother is 70. This man would be 11 years younger than me and he would be 11 years younger than my mother. So tell me, would he be too young for my mother? I'm thinking he might think he was too young for her. He might feel they didn't have enough in common. You may want to think a few years ahead.
---starla on 5/10/07

why do some young ladies like older men? I ask my wife this.She says being 21 and trying to hold a conversation with the young man is like trying to hold a conversation with the 3 stooges,no respect to females,doesnt even have any idea of what responsibility is,Has no manners at all. most of them like to burp at the table if they even know what a table is. The parents are paying for everything.oh and did I say she likes the doors being open for her and being treated like she is wonderful.(And that she is)
---namewithheld on 5/8/07

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#2..43 and 59 I think they can make the right choice. But any marriage needs to be prayed about before going into. Do I think age matters? No. Not as long as both are of sound mind and have thought and prayed it out.Is a large age difference for everyone.NO,its not it takes a strong loving couple.Trust me both will be doing a lot of praying. It's a challenge.But if you love them and they love you. It's worth it.
---namewithheld on 5/8/07

Hello, I would like to relate to you out of my own experience, it is too long. I believe solidly that they both need to fast and pray seriously over this. It is quite possible God wants them together. In my experience, we never found out what God wanted until we separated from each other for one week and fasted and prayed. We did not marry, we both gained...we are still close friends..Harle9478
---Harley on 5/8/07

why do young girls like older man
---jerreisha on 11/14/05

BTW--a 43 year old female is hardly a "girl." And considering the other is 59, the 16 age difference here is insignificant. It's not like one was 28 and the other 12. THAT would be "older man and younger girl."
---Jack on 5/26/05

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alyssar.. If you don't know what saved means in a Christian inviroment, than you probably are not. Saved means, saved from death and hell, through Jesus. Any Christian knows this very simple and basic term.
---Linda on 5/26/05

Alyssar9, Saved means salvation from believing and living for God through Jesus. Knowing that Jesus is the only door to eternal life. That is saved.
---David on 5/26/05

The first thing that attracted me to my wife was her peaceful spirituality and yes, that is very important but we also explored other areas of compatibility and foiund out there were many and that is what keeps a couple together.
---Albert on 5/26/05

What do you Mean when you say they are "Saved" It does not make sense to me.
---alyssar9 on 5/26/05

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Were he to ask me, I'd ask, "Will this marriage bring me--and her--closer to the Lord? Will it be spiritually beneficial for us?" You don't need to know the answer, but this is the most important.

There are plenty of wonderful devout Christians who were simply two people not made for each other.
---jack on 5/25/05

Rachel, you get the communication and compatibility from being educated in various topics. I speak spiritual matters with my wife but not all the time - we talk about million other things also.

I would not want to spend all my time talking Bible with her because it would become a bore. Man does not live by bread alone.
---Albert on 5/25/05

Really Albert? HMMMMM and out of where do you get the communication and mutual respect if not from your spiritual unity?
Being a new creation spiritman I would not want to be united for any other reason.
---rachel on 5/24/05

Rachel, spiritual unity is not all that matters. Other things matter also including communication, mutual respect.
---Albert on 5/23/05

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What does how they look together matter? Spiritual unity is all that matters. We marry for better or worse in sickness and health and all that. I would consider health issues if I were to consider marrying an older man. but not necessarily or entirely. If God was in it I'd say yes.
Harley is right regardless of the issues and questions......prayer and fasting and I would add the clear witness of at least three others would decide for me. I always say PRE-MARRIAGE couseling......yes at my age.
---rachel on 5/23/05

It depends on the couple themselves. Sixteen years is an age difference but it's also do-able. My aunt married a guy 25 years younger than she. No one expected it to last but they've been together for twenty years now and they're happy. So who's to say? I agree with Harley. I think fasting and prayer are in order.
---DoryLory on 5/23/05

Dear David: What does "look good together"have to do with anything? God looks on the heart not the outward appearance. (John7:24 & 2 Corinthians 10:7) Even age differences are not too important if their thinking, outlook, and commitment to Christ are similar. Most important is their love of God and their faithfulness to commit their marriage to Him. (Matthew 22:37) They indeed will be blessed! And blessings to you too!
---Elsie on 5/23/05

I cannot see why there should be a problem if both are saved. They will be taking this to God I'm sure. The only problem I can see in this question is that the female half is described as a 'girl'. She is 43!!! Allow her to grow up and call her a woman.
---Paul_James on 5/23/05

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Went through a similar situation last year. I am 43 and was seeing a 59 year old man who looked good, could pass for late 40's we looked good together, family said we looked good together, I was very happy and felt that I was in the will of the Lord, but bottom line, he had too much experience on me and I was too "green" as they say, my advice is just be careful and don't let your emotions take over on your good judgment, just because something seems right doesn't mean that it is...Believe me.
---Jaikay on 5/23/05

If they both feel the same & believe its Gods will then I say God bless them both & I hope they will be very happy & contented together.
---dawn on 5/22/05

david, you only mentioned about your friends feelings not his lady friend's. marriage with a man who is so much elder to her will not last forever. i feel they will be better off as very very good friends, rather than husband and wife. she is pretty young and i'm sure there will be adjustment problems later on. the thrill for her, will soon wear off after marriage. pray for your friend and lets see how god leads them on.
---olive on 5/22/05

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