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I Keep Pushing My Husband Away

My husband has hurt me so many times, and broken my trust, and not kept his word that now I hate it when he approaches me for a hug or a touch. My heart is breaking, because I don't feel emotionally safe, now I don't want his physical touch. I have told him this, HELP!

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 ---Janet on 5/31/05
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I understand exactly how you feel. If you truly love your husband pray for him. I just got married and I am experiencing something similar. I decided to give it to God. I made up mind no matter what I am going to trust God. Oh believe me the devil has been trying my faith. All things work together for the good to them who love the Lord. Believe me if you keep the faith it will get better.
---Tilena on 5/11/08

It's not your job to make him feel better, by allowing him to revictimize you. Pray for him, your marriage, and understand your feelings are valid, and you should not deny them. As believers we have a way of blaming the victim for not letting the abusers back in for one more try.
You know what has happened, you know how you have tried to cope, and only you know how you feel.
God can restore the marriage, but if you don't want that, He can give you peace with what ever decision you make.
---lynet on 4/28/07

I can understand it, because the same has happened to me. I don't always understand men, for they think their actions do not have consequences. Of course you would feel this way. Why don't you try to get: Boundaries: By Drs. H.Cloud and John Townsend. It has helped me a lot. Junia 6337
---Junia on 4/28/07

Janet, How has your husband hurt you? You didn't say. Did he physically hurt you? Did he mentally hurt you? Or, and please don't take this the wrong way, did he hurt you because he didn't meet your expectations or demands? Please let us know so we can possibly help.
---John on 4/27/07

It is hard to trust when someone does not keep their word. my husband cheated on me, I found out by reading some of his e mail's.It really hurt me,still does, sometimes I can't breathe the pain goes so deep. But i have forgiven him, I feel that is what God wants me to do. We are trying to start over again, we have too many good memories to let the bad take hold. TRUST, well i still do not always trust him, but I am working on it.
---mary on 7/12/05

Hi Janet!
Trust: BIG ISSUE! If its not just your little white lies & adultry could be one of the problems then its bigger than both of you. Men usually use affection to say sorry, he sounds like someone thats cheated. Get counciling, if not either he'll leave you or you'll end up leaving him. This is by no means easy, but not impossible to get through! God Bless!
---Karen on 6/2/05

i do belive that all the answer that you are looking for, is at god's hand. people will give you a lot of advises, but for sure, none of them will workout with you, becouse no one knows what is happending between you and your husband. so you see, it is to easy to find solution for anothers one problems, but it is terrible difficult to find the right solution to ours own problems. trust me, ask to god and he will show to you everything that you need to know about your situation.

---Mauro on 6/1/05

How many yrs have u been married? have you tried forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness, Forgiveness only allowed 85 words I can't write this down 77 times, and that is possibly in one day!Love,
---Carla on 6/1/05

I have gone through this myself. If you would like someone to talk to please email me.
---Veronica on 5/31/05

My ex lied so many times that I became closed off from him as well. His touch made me sick and angry even though I wanted a close relationship with him.
You need to talk to a councellor or pastor.
Get Christian help though.
It must be taken care of or it will keep eating at you. Pray for strength and peace as well. God sees your heart.
---Marla on 5/31/05

If u need someone to talk to please email me
---Wanda on 5/31/05

Hi dear, just want to say that there are places in a woman that only God can touch. It is in these 'secret places' that we draw our strenth from him. A book that really helped me in this area is T.D. Jakes, 'The lady, or lover and her Lord'. Our relationhips with out husbands/partners is only 'physical' at it's best, they can't really understand the 'emotional' sides of a woman, only God can. Wrap yourself in Him.
---shela5776 on 5/31/05

I know some thing of what you are talkiing about. My parents would be cruel with their words. them laugh it off but the damage was done already. as a mother I would not let some one who hurt my child continue to do so. if you watch a dog who has been yelled at it also will cower rather then trust. I think you would do well to find a neutral party to sit down with you both. though to be honest my parent haven't changed. I feel better for getting out!
---laure5469 on 5/31/05

Dear Janet: Are you being physically abused also? If so, go to a shelter until things cool down. If it remains on the level of emotional abuse, you need to talk with him....communicate when you are less angry. Lovingly tell him how he has hurt you and why you do not want him near you. He really needs course #101 in how to nurture a mate. Your local Christian bookstore can help. Please get Christian counseling from a mentor at church, a pastor, a mature believer and/or a qualified professional.
---Elsie on 5/31/05

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