Should I Stay At Home With Kids
I've been married for 7 years. We have 3 children. I'm a homemaker. Now I want to work. My husband disagrees. Our youngest is 8 months and he doesn't want her in daycare. He feels its my duty to stay home,and take care of the kids. He says thats the way it's intended to be. But I'm not happy. What should I do?
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---shenae on 6/2/05
Helpful Blog Vote (8)
There are many women that would love the chance to stay at home. My youngest was 17 months old when i had to put her in day care. I think 8 months is a little young. If you aren't in some Mommy groups join one, or two. Do things that give you adult time. Working or not your duty as a mother is not going to go away. it's what Mom's do, working or not. Why aren't you happy? Is it being with the kids or something else? I would love to chat more....email me.
Have a blessed day!
---Jennifer on 11/17/08|
You should obey your husband, He he right. You have a 8 month old who needs you at home, Your daughter should not be in a day care for someone else to raise, it is your job, Have you ever thought about working at home, I know of a home job that works. Let me know. I am a homemaker as well, a mother of 8.
---Karen on 11/14/08|
As christian women we are admonished to love our husbands, and love our children. (Isn't that interesting, shouldn't it come naturally?) Unfortunately because of Eve's disobedience, our sinful nature pops out, and just like her we want to exert our independence from our husbands and not follow his God-given leadership. Because your husband wants you to care for his home and children, then you can be assured that this is God's will for you. God has given you a husband to love and protect you, and He uses him to direct your path. Trust God that His way is right, and ask Him to give you wisdom to provide a safe haven from the world for your husband and children.
---dusk on 10/31/08|
I would like to add that being a homemaker, or Chatelaine or domestic diva, does not have to be all work and no play. You can make use of your situation to improve your family life. A good homemaker can significantly add to her family's financial well being just by taking the time to research expenses and appropriate use of sales and coupons. A good mother is also a nurse, dietician, teacher, chauffeur and event planner. You can develop your skills over time for when your children grow up.
---lorra8574 on 6/1/07|
Motherhood is not a glamorous vocation, but it is a vocation. Too many children are being warehoused in various institutions and day homes and raised by strangers without any values or security. These children often form attachments to their caregivers only to have those bonds ripped away again and again until they no longer form lasting bonds.
Then we wonder why we have so many teen pregnancies, abortions, adulteries or divorces. Motherhood is a thankless job, but somebody has to do it.
---lorra8574 on 5/31/07|
You should go for it. Don't let your husband tell you how to live your life. There are lots of mothers who return to work when their children are young.
---Erin on 5/31/07|
go to work if you want dont let him tell you what to do its yur life you need a break sometimes.
---jemma_&_michelle on 1/16/06|
I agree with barbara67. Thats what I did when my kids were little. My brother and his wife had 2 kids and put them in daycare a couple months after they were born so wife could continue to work. She regrets it now that her kids are all grown up. Why even have kids if you're just gonna have somebody else bring them up?
---sue on 6/7/05|
If you are not in desperate need of the money, then I would choose to stay home with kids. It is fulfilling staying home with the kids, you probably dont see it now, but you will reap the harvest when they have grown up. I know it can be very daunting home with kids under the age of seven, its worth it to hang in there and enjoy every moment, you cannot do this if you take up outside work
---mary4553 on 6/6/05|
you should listen to your husband 8 months is just to early to be leaving your baby your baby needs you home.
---Jean on 6/5/05|
P.S. To my last note
Look into parent-child care at home. There is income there. And you can stay home and look after your own children as well.
There are many women who live near to schools who are trained through the school and through general children's aid society.
Extra money does help.
Been there - done that.
Some gals take in typing projects or work for secretary assistance programs.
Some sell homemade crafts.
Sell some extra baking.
Pray about it.
---barbara67 on 6/3/05|
Because I'm a single parent, I went back to work after my maternity leave was over. My son stayed with my mom, then I put him in home care, then into daycare run by our church. It was the best thing. When he was 3, he could count to 10 in french. The little girl next door with a stay-at-home mom, and was just a couple months younger than my son, was still saying "mama, dada". What a difference the social inter-action makes. Daycare is NOT a terrible thing if you can find the right one.
---Ann5758 on 6/3/05|
Shenae: I really appreciate your humble response on 6/2, All of us mothers wondered about our "sanity" when we had "younguns" 24/7; however, the discipline and patience you learn in this process is molding a stronger "me" in you. This is priceless. The added bonus is that "your children will rise up and call you blessed when they are grown". You are doing the most important "job" in the world. Blessings!
---Elsie on 6/2/05|
I am able to work, but yet I chose not to. My husband says it is up to me, he doesn't like the idea but wouldn't stop me. I love staying at home I have a 6yr old and a 3 yr old. I have a garden, and while I work in the garden with my father-n-law my kids play in the dirt, or water the plants. I get bored at times, and wonder what it would be like to work, but spending time with my kids is priceless, I wouldn't give it up. but that is just me.
---Rebecca_D on 6/2/05|
There is nothing that money can buy that is worth more than a spouse and children that love you.
---Ulrika on 6/2/05|
I know its hard some days sister to have no one over 2 feet tall to talk to! Count your blessings dearie, I did when I was able to stay at home with my kids. You do need an outlet, 'Mother's morning out' at church? Or get out alone or with a g/f in the early evening and shop, or go to a bookstore, have a Cappachino(?) and just chat, that helps.
---Rosa on 6/2/05|
You need to count your blessings. 1.You have a husband, and he wants to provide for you and your children. 2.He wants what is best for your children. 3.You have 3 healthy beautiful children, who need you and love you. 4.You can take your children for walks or to a park and enjoy the beautiful weather. 5.You can read and sing to your children.
Ask the Lord to help you enjoy taking care of your children's physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs. What an awesome responsability!
---Ulrika on 6/2/05|
Thanks Everyone. This is indeed what I "needed" to hear not necessarily want to hear. But the truth is the truth. It isn't a financial reason as to why I want to work it was/is more of a "sanity" thing, inorder to feel like there is a me outside of my children. I know I sound selfish and I will pray for me for that.
---shenae on 6/2/05|
Why aren't you happy?
An 8 month old does need someone and it is a great age to love and nuture. Join a mother's group and socialize about once a week. Some groups do things together with the children and others groups share to get a babysitter for 1/2 a day and then do Bible study or have lunch together or listen to a special Christian speaker.
You have your husband's blessing to stay home.
---barbara67 on 6/2/05|
Please make a gratitude list of the wonderful things that God has given you. What a blessing to be able to stay at home to raise your children yourself and to have the support of your husband to do that. God has truly blessed you.
---Tammy on 6/2/05|
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Do you need to work or to get away from the kids? You will be placing your children at risk for catching every sickness that comes along with other children.Eight months is too young,do you want to shape your chid's personality or let strangers do it?Wait until all three children are in school, then get a job the hours they are gone.The best job for a mom is with a school so you have the same hours and holidays as children.Be wise and wait.The job you have is the most important one there is,Mother.
---Darlene_1 on 6/2/05|
Dear Shenae: What a privilege to have your children to raise and nurture! However, it is the toughest job on earth. You may "want" to work but your decision must be based on the needs of your small children and your husband's desire. This is also a wonderful time to study the Word and belong to a Mom's group (with babysitting) so you will not go stir crazy. There is no one like Mom to "train up a child in the way they should go". No one knows your children like you do!
---Elsie on 6/2/05|
why did you have 3 children if you didn't want to take care of them? Your husband is correct. God did not intend for day care to take care of our children. Stay with your children, love them, nuture them and when they are all grown up, you will reap the rewards.
---shira_5965 on 6/2/05|
You should ask yourself why you want to work.Do you feel a "NEED" for finances? I did not work until my kids were all in school. Then I worked at their schools. I won't say it is wrong to work outside ones home but it is wrong if you are not in agreement with hubby.Possibly you need more time with other adult Sisters. Perhaps you need a weekend with just hubby. I remember those CRAZY days/years when I had 5 kids under age 7. But I am glad I was home with them those early years.
---rachel on 6/2/05|