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Should Sleeping Pastor Leave

I am a Youth Pastor having an affair with a youth leader I am 32 she is 20, I've known her since she was 17 and our relationship grew slowly, and it is much more emotional than physical all though we have slept together, it started when she was 19 I'm considering leaving all that I know for her.

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 ---Jessie on 6/6/05
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You need to step down and get your life together. Confess,repent and seek the help of your pastor in resolving this issue. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Why can't you marry her? Make it legal and be obedient to the Word of God. She is of age and you certainly are!
Seems as though you are not mature enough to be a pastor. You are suppose to be shaping lives and leading young people to Christ. How can you do this with a clean heart and right spirit and you and God knows what you are doing? Sometimes people want things they are not ready for. Count up the cost before you go further.
You are not worthy of Christ if you are considering throwing everything away for this lady. Christ has to be first in all that we do.
---Robyn on 10/17/09

Hi Jessie,
I wonder how the almighty God saw u thru this incident and where your case ended as I realise it's been over 4yrs now..jenny
---jenny on 10/13/09

both of you should confess to the church what you have been doing and allow the membership to decide what should be in the best interest of the church as well as yourselves. What was wrong with getting married? like proverbs explain things stolen tastes sweet but scripture explains it can be sweet to the belly yet bitter to the soul!
---Carla5754 on 12/9/07

You both should resign. Leave the Church, or submit to the strictest of disciplinary actions. I am married to a former Youth Pastor. He lost his position. Eventhough he hasn't slept around he has inappropriate attachments & affections for other women. As a result we are on the brink of divorce. You both need to repent, if you are indeed serious about following Christ, before you completely destroyed the Ministry you serve. Jesus warned us that any one who destroys his Temple God will destroy him also.
---Luz_Demnitz on 8/3/07

Why do you choose to live a lesser life than the life you have been offered? Stop rationalizing and dragging that girl along with you.
---Alex on 7/19/06

As A CALLED AND ORDAINED SERVANT OF THE WORD, you must step down.truth my brother and fellow pastor you are in sin! you must step down!
Brother please return to your calling, you know that we all must repent,when we sin!
psalm 139:7,9-10 aNd romans 8:38-39
---Willow on 6/13/05

Hi Jesse,
Nobody is perfect, not even teachers or preachers. Ask for forgiveness. Maybe this experience will make you an even better teacher.
---sue on 6/10/05

What does your girl friend want ... you seem to be considereing only what you wantr, and what others will think of yuo (if you "hurt" them)

Does she want to get married? If you announce your engagement, will that not be accepted without these other people being "hurt" There's no need to tell them yuo have been sleeping together already ... God will forgive you for that (providesd yuo abstain now until you are married)
---Alan_of_U.K. on 6/8/05

Jessie-It took courage and faith in our Savior to bring you this far, He will finish the work in you and complete it.You will minister again, but with a broken heart, wounded by Him because of your love for Him. These are christians that He really uses, like Paul,David, Peter.
---anne on 6/8/05

Jesse, I am the one who said you were "leading" those young people to hell, and if you don't think you'll have to answer for the wrong leadership, you better study your bible some more. Yes, we are ALL individually responsible for what we do with the gospel, but, teachers and leaders have more responsibility to make certain of their teaching, as you can wrongly influence someone thereby. Forgive me if that sounds "un-merciful", I am just stating the facts as they are appearing here.
---tommy3007 on 6/8/05

cont...I am not really afraid of anyone knowing, I really do not care about the opinions of others compared to my letting down my savior, I know that God does forgive but it will take time for me to forgive myself and I still need to fix what I did wrong and ask forgiveness from the person I am involved with, I pray for Gods wisdom on how to handle this mess I made, thank all of you for your advice even if I did rebutt a little I do appreciate those of you who said you were praying for us, thank you
---jessie on 6/7/05

cont.. I know some of you think I should confess and take my punishment, but if you understood how much influence I had on the body of believers, I believe it would do more harm than good, and I do not have a desire to hurt the person I'm involved with anymore than is needed
---jessie on 6/7/05

cont.... I do want to thank the user abhay for his/her wisdom and Christ like love although I will resign for "personal reasons" you did encourage me and perhaps I can be trusted again someday if the Lord is willing
---jessie on 6/7/05

I was reading through some of your comments and one asked if I knew the bible, we confuse sin with a lack of knowledge of the scriptures, did david know the word when he had uriah killed?
---jessie on 6/7/05

I was reading through some of your comments and one asked if I knew the bible, we confuse sin with a lack of knowledge of the scriptures, did david know the word when he had uriah killed? and one said I was leading people to hell which is an extreme statement knowing that when I stand before God I cannot blame anyone for my sin except myself if we take that road then lets blame Jim Baker, or Jimmy Swaggert for my failure, we are all responsible for our own salvation
---jessie on 6/7/05

Why not get married? You certainly dont have to leave your being"a youth leader",if you're married. But you know what you've done is sin.You both need to repent and start over.You may have to consider telling your Pastor and Church of your sin.But get right with God no matter what your future plans are.
---shearon on 6/7/05

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Look at these requests from the Bible's view. I bet some of these people are/have done the same thing. Are they in leadership? Well, repentence is needed. 19 is not a minor age anymore and if you can marry, do so.
---Steve on 6/7/05

I just wanted to respond to some fo the questions, yes we can get married and I would but I think the idea of hurting so many people is too much for her to handle, especially letting her family down
---jessie on 6/7/05

I appreciate all of your opinions, some of you showing grace and mercy and some of you condemnation, which I do understand, and just for the record I didn't start a relationshp with her until she was 19, and I do want to be honest about it but oddly enough she has asked me to keep quiet which I will most likely resign quietly for "personal reasons" I truly am sorry for what I've done and must live with it, now I need the strength to end it, thank you for your prayers
---jessie on 6/7/05

Part 2: The only thing you can do at this point, is to ask God's forgiveness, resign from your position, confess and submit to the discipline that your pastor and board of elders deems appropriate. By your actions, you have said that the things of God are less than dirt. You desire that which is temporary over that which is eternal.
---tommy3007 on 6/7/05

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Part 1: You haven't really thought about what you've done, have you? Not only have you committed a SERIOUS sin against God and His calling, you've set up a terrible testimony to the youth you are supposed to be "leading." By your actions, you are leading them straight to hell. How can you "teach God's word when you are denying it by your actions? "IF" you think this woman is worth giving up God's blessings, you've never experienced the truth of God's gift.
---tommy3007 on 6/7/05

Can the two of you get married?
---sue on 6/7/05

contd .. Remember David sinned but he told the Lord. God u can take away every thing frm me.. my palaces, riches, possession even my position..but do not take away Ur Holy Spirit frm me. Bro. cry out to the Lord today & He will reach u & heal the deepest of wounds in ur life.. God Bless .. Abhay
---Abhay on 6/7/05

contd .. God is more than willng to accept u as u are & wash u with the precious Blood of Jesus . Conviction is from God, condemnation is frm the devil. Dont leave ur ministry bcoz of the mess tht u have fallen into. Pick urself up shake off the wrong things in ur life & get right with God. He will reveal His Glory thru ur life. contd ..
---Abhay on 6/7/05

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Well tht actually depends ... if u have repented for wut u have done & have made up ur mind tht u will not go tht way again... God is merciful to forgive u & lift u back in the ministry ... Remember the Bible tells us tht the righteous may fall 7 times but the Lord will lift him up .. contd
---Abhay on 6/7/05

Jessie: Are you a pastor who does not know his Bible? You became involved with this teen when she was a minor. This is punishable by man's law. You have sinned against God's law and against man's law. How hypocritical are you? You teach one thing and do another. You need to confess your sin, repent, change your ways and come back to Jesus. You are pulling the WHOLE church down by your actions. I pray that you will have eyes to see and ears to hear.
---Elsie on 6/7/05

Both of you are leaders? Lesson here folks, don't trust people in positons of authority just because they're in that position.
---Eloy on 6/7/05

You call yourself a pastor. I don't think so. Because the bible makes me to know that "whosoever is born of God does not sin" and with what you are doing, i don't think your character reflect that of a child of God. God does not behold iniqity. There are ways to know the children of God and of Satan. By their fruits we shall know them
---mary on 6/7/05

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Your actions does not give glory to God but rather shame, you both should repeat and serve God in truth and in spirit.
---Nkem on 6/7/05

Yes, you should leave the pulpit because the devil is using the youths. As a Youth Pastor you ought to be holy before the many youths. If we are truly following the footsteps of Christ why should we sleep before marriage? Quit and repent right now and let the Grace of God be upon you all the time. There is a very bright future for you and the devil is trying to steal it in the name of adultery. Let us be Holy because we serve a Holy God! Do not lead a life of regrets God has something for you.
---Cecia3358 on 6/7/05

As a pastor you know this is wrong and you know what to divine intervention or marry her,why are you thinking of abandoning her now please for what you know,what if it were you she thinks of the same dont be selfish and self centered ,repent and submit to the elders of the church for guidance.
---peter on 6/7/05

Ask yourself this question, Is she worth going to hell over? that is where your headed if you don't repent. You should leave the ministry because if this is what you are doing, "secret things", then you have no business behind the pulpit. You need spiritual help, were you called to be a youth pastor?
---Rebecca_D on 6/6/05

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Well, to be honest this is not uncommon. Many people lead lead secret lives, in church. Many people look up to you in your church. You could marry and therefore but burn as it says in the word. Maybe repentance to her and God; it is hard to start a Godly relationship from this start. But it can be done in meekness . Ask Him who leads us to show you what to do, next. That you are asking questions is a good begining to His will for both of you. Many will be praying for you. Thank you for your honestly.
---anne on 6/6/05

Hey, what can we say? You both have bowed down to your god. You have made it plain whom you serve and want to serve.

You left your first Love and now seek the lower level to feed the flesh.

Repent and return to your first Love who loved you best or prepare to hear God puke.

It would appear to me that when we give God our souls we could also give our bodies for righteous acts.

People are dying and going to Hell while you sin.
---Elder on 6/6/05

As someone who has trained as a pastor and has served as a youth pastor before, I want you to do two things. First of all, I want you to go before your pastor and session (elders), both of you, and confess what you have been doing. Let them decide how they want to handle the situation. Secondly, if you two truly love each other, you should start abstaining and get couseling so that you can make wise, informed choices about your future together. Take the iniative before God does.
---Ray on 6/6/05

Rom 3:23
For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. You know what God says and you have no need to be told. Listen to what the spirit of God has said. Repent, and turn from your sin. God is merciful and kind, and he will pardon you. Flee fornication, and always remember...the only bible those outside of Christ may read is YOU>..
---marla on 6/6/05

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You should leave your position in your church. A pastor (youth pastors included) should be beyond reproach and specifically breaking a commandment (to say nothing of what God said about fornication) makes you a hypocrite if you go on preaching His Word.
---Heather on 6/6/05

If she is good enough for you to sleep with. She should be good enough to marry. You of all people should know of fornication.
---carmille on 6/6/05

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