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I Will Never Obey My Husband

I read a blog. It bothered me some. I am a Christian and I will never believe in a woman OBEYING HER HUSBAND! We have our own minds and I can see two people working things out. Women aren't children & don't need to be treated as a child.

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Good thing we're not bound by the law anymore or we would have to take this lady outside the camp and stone her.
---john on 4/29/09

GOD set up the hierarchy in the human household. The husband is the head of the home. The wife is to submit to her husband. The husband is to love, cherish and value his wife, like a fine piece of china. The woman, equally, is to love, honour and respect her man. Neither is to spitefully use the other. The man's body belongs to his wife. The wife's body belongs to her husband. They are to share physical intimacy with mutual respect. The man's sexuality is completely different from the wife's. As a married couple, they are to learn about each other's differences, and learn to please each other. If there are children, they are to honour and obey their parents. If they are Christians, then YAHUSHUA (JESUS) is the True Head of that household.
---Gordon on 4/29/09

Patty, read 1Corinthians 7:12-16. It is impossible to let disobedience rule in your relationship with your husband, without affecting your obedience to Jesus, but if your husband is asking you to do something immoral, Acts 4:19 and 5:29 allow you to say no. If a woman were to act like Esther, and not Vashti, there have been some cases where marriages have been restored, and better yet the spouse receives the Lord as savior.
---Glenn on 4/28/09

My question is.. what is the wife goes to church 3 x a week ,, loves trusts and obeys gods every word.. then her husband is NOT a christian and treats her mean , and uses YOU MUST OBAY ME it is in the bible ?
---patty on 4/28/09

If anyone else has these same thoughts, don't marry until you are free of this ungodly, selfish, and rebellious thinking. Please, deal with whatever may have occurred to make you this way, Genesis 3:16 (Gen4:7). In marriage, someone is always the boss. Properly, it is God, husband, wife, children, Ephesians 5:21, 1Peter 1:14.
If you do this: 1Corinthians 11:3-10, 13, 15-16, 14:34-35, Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:11-14, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1-2, 5-6, and he does this: 1Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:25-29, 31, 33, Colossians 3:19, 1Timothy 5:8, 1Peter 3:7, this resolves the situation.
If he / she doesn't consider the others best interest, he / she might easily be abusive.
---Glenn on 4/26/09

In any organization you have a chain of command, (and marriage is an organization)so why are you opposed to this one? It has no reflection on a women's ability. In fact, if you go back to the time of Christ and after, this particular Scripture of the man being the head of the house was for a women's protection. The problem is that men often take this as meaning to dictate and not delegate. If they would read further in the Bible, they will discover that the man is to love his wife as Christ loves the church - and Christ did two basic things for the church - he suffered for the church and died for the church.
---wivv on 3/19/09

Christ obeyed The Father in heaven while he was here on earth and has always from the beginning ...when women take their time in courtship finding a man who cherishes them then obeying comes naturally knowing you have found the man who will honor you ...someone must lead and Christ tells us it is the man ...women who have not come out of the world as Christ instructs us to are led away by the world and feminist idea's believing they are being treated like a child if they "obey" ...many of these women did not marry the right men who are capable of "leading" or honoring them through Christ the head of the church is Christ and at the head of the home is the husband Eph 5:23, 1Corin 11:3
---Rhonda on 3/19/09

You are right. There is another scripture which says, that husbands and wives are to work things out together. Look for the scripture it's in there somewhere.
---catherine on 3/18/09

Actually the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25 "husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the Church,and gave himself for it." and Ephesians 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Christ had and has a scarificial type of love which always considers the needs of his people above his own,he nourishes and cherishes the Church,after all he died on the cross for our sins. I don't remember ever seeing a verse which says wives love husbands,only to submit as in 1Peter 3:1. If anyone knows of one please give Book,verse,and number. Obey, means to follow commands(demanded),and submit(chooses),to yield to or defer to. Obey God,submit to husbands.
---Darlene_1 on 3/18/09

#1 thing I have learned is to keep God first! I have never had a boyfriend, but I learned this through a college faith sharing group. I do agree that woman are not children and do not need to be treated as a child. Another thing I have learned from the group is to protect your heart. Don't give your heart to someone who you feel uncomfortable with or... I don't know any other words to describe it.
---Lisa5554 on 2/18/09

Women should obey their husbands in most cases, but never if what they want you to do is legally or morally wrong.
---Betty on 2/18/09

Obeying husband came as punishment along with labor pains after Eve disabeyed God. Wife obeying husband was not God's original intention. So if you resist, your marriage will suffer. This is universal law on earth.
---kyoko on 2/17/09

While the Bible does command wives to obey their husbands, it also commands husbands to love their wives. All too often we hear people condemning wives for not obeying their abusive husbands, while remaining silent about the abuse itself.

This same kind of slanted viewpoint was apparent in the case of the Woman Taken in Adultery: the Pharisees were all to eager to stone her, but we hear nothing at all about the man she was with (and there had to have been one - it takes two to tango).
---StrongAxe on 11/4/08


Is there no light in you?

Or are you blogging from another century?

Should we be stoning "sinners" too?
---atheist on 11/3/08

I don't believe anyobe should have to obey anyone! I am not a dog and I don't want to treat anyone else like they are a dog.

I am in an abusive marriage now for 3 years and we have seperated 4 times. It is my husband's behavior. I have found that the way he deals with things is by bullying, controlling, intimidating.......
that is no way to handle anything. It is also dangerous and not healthy to either party. You can lead a horse to water, but cannot make them drink~
---sharon_haze on 11/3/08

RitaH, AMEN! I feel the same way.

The scripture say:
1pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.
1pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

My wife treats me with respect, because I treat her with love and honour.
---trey on 1/31/08

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wives, how are you treating your husbands? like Christ? that is the command. Even today people choose to dis Christ, their head, then make up their own rules to follow: I call these synagogues of Satan. And Christ says to these sinners, Depart from me, I never knew you.
---Eloy on 1/31/08

I dont think anyone on here has the right to judge whether someone is a Christian based soley on a posting of a certain scripture that frankly when i first became a christian i felt the same way and ladies if you're honest you probably did too until you started understanding how Christ loves and cherishes his church and how your husbands are to treat their wives as Christ treated his church. Just because i didnt understand that scripture or any other scripture doesn't mean im not a Christian.
---emtp on 1/30/08

Well, my friend, the Bible does say obey your husband as unto the Lord. There is also scriptures that gives husband instructions on how to treat their wives. The important thing to remembber before you get married is that it is God's will and that you are compatable not unequally yoked. God will not put up with one of His own abusing one of His own. Always pray. I believe we should obey God over husbands. However, There is so much that we bicker about that don't amount to a row of pens.
---catherine on 1/29/08

Although I can see that this is quite an old question I havn't seen it crop up before. My small input here is simply to say that besides women being told to obey their husbands, men are told to love their wives 'as Christ loved the Church'. The two go together like a hand in a glove. Without the husbands' Christ-like love the obedience part is extremely difficult.
---RitaH on 1/29/08

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woman's lib taken to the extreme is nothing but foolish sin, and has no part in the body of Christ. Misandrosy is wrong, Jesus was a man, so are you going to hate him too? God's Word says, wives obey your husbands, and husbands love your wives. But selfish rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and needs to be repented of. Spouses, you are joined together, you are one flesh, not two. And what God has joined together, let not any person put asunder.
---Eloy on 1/29/08

Are we supposed to obey a husband who doesn't obey GOD? Who bullies his wife and four year old child?
---bren on 1/28/08

I totally agree. Sometimes men need to grow up. They might had everything easier then us. Sometimes it`s just the way they were raised. My husband will asked for his parents advice before doing something, without even having a chat with his wife, how weird??
---Nicole on 8/7/07

1 Corinthians 11:3; But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 11:8; For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
1 Corinthians 11:9; Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
1 Corinthians 11:13; Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
---george on 2/10/07

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The Bible commands wives to obey their husbands. It is part of God's perfect plan for women. By respecting your husband's headship you will grow as a woman and as a Christian, ultimately reaching true happiness.
---Martha on 2/10/07

Rachel -* ...there must be a mental union and a spiritual union.*

And there is not much wrong with a physical union either!
---lee on 11/12/06

Yes, we have our own minds. But it is when two minds come together in One Likeness, marriage is at it's best. It is easy enough to unite in flesh, but to truly become One, there must be a mental union and a spiritual union.

---Reiter on 11/12/06

Women and children both benefit from Protection so in this way women and children are similar. Both women and children are more vulnerable than men.

---Reiter on 11/12/06

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Thanks GD you are special.
---Emcee on 11/11/06

Steveng, I know, My mother has reminded me of this recently! God Bless!
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/10/06

"A wise man rules his house hold with love."

---Kay on 11/10/06

Emcee, there is only ONE road and one door that leads to everlasting life, Jesus Christ. My ex destroyed 2 of my Bibles, told me that I couldn't attend church and that if I did, I couldn't take our child with me, he cursed God, told me to go to Hell to be with my God (yes, he said that Jesus was roasting in Hell, he even asked me to deny Christ. Now who do you think was going in the wrong direction? Satan was my father-in-law.

love ya!
---Kay on 11/10/06

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"Kay, your answers summed it all with 100% accuracy! Guys, read Kay's 2-part post on 11/9/06 to understand this issue."

Okebaram, thank you so much. That was very nice! :)
---Kay on 11/10/06

Okebaram;Is this a game of supposition& what if?I believe that a man is the head of the Home as God ordained but He is to do that which is tempered with love,Patience kindness & firmness but not hostility some times these types of dissentions should be settled by prayer not arbitrary decision,if you want to make it work.the saying is there, you catch more flies with Honey than vinegar.Sometimes,we have to stoop to conquer, patience is a watchword in a marriage.A wise man rules his house hold with love.
---Emcee on 11/10/06

Thanks Alan this is very much like the spanking Blog only here we are dealing with a mature & equal partner.
---Emcee on 11/10/06

Morgan: What does the Bible say about a man who does not provide for his family?
---Steveng on 11/10/06

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"II.)Really it just comes down to putting God first, respecting each other, and husband and wife balancing family responsibilities , but the scales must be WELL-BALANCED, or at lease close to that, or else look out! Trouble! God Bless!"

I totally agree. :)
---Kay on 11/10/06

"An obedient wife can be a great source of spiritual strength to a husband as God can work through the woman to benefit the husband and thus the church. But the wife that competes will destroy any marriage."-lee

Totally agree with you.
---Kay on 11/10/06

"Kay Dear"This is much like discussing your life & too close to home.Has it ever entered your mind that He thought you may have been taking the wrong direction,after all.there are many roads that lead to Damascus?I do not wish to mince words with one I respect.God be with you my child.
---Emcee on 11/10/06

Kay, your answers summed it all with 100% accuracy! Guys, read Kay's 2-part post on 11/9/06 to understand this issue.
---Okebaram on 11/10/06

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interesting blog topic. I understand husbands shouldn't command a wife, and should consider serving her the greatest gift, but this shoudl be the same attitude a wife should have. Tell me how not OBEYing your husband works, cuz I bet it doesn't just as a Commanding Husband doesn't have a very good marriage either.
---Jared on 11/10/06

(I.)Spouses should be considerate of each other's needs. I am a little old fashioned, I feel that the man should be the head of the household, support the family, and wife should tend to house and kids, BUT, we life in different times now, MANY good men, stay at home, while wife goes out to make the money, this is fine.
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/10/06

(II.)Really it just comes down to putting God first, respecting each other, and husband and wife balancing family responsibilities , but the scales must be WELL-BALANCED, or at lease close to that, or else look out! Trouble! God Bless!
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/10/06

An obedient wife can be a great source of spiritual strength to a husband as God can work through the woman to benefit the husband and thus the church. But the wife that competes will destroy any marriage.
---lee on 11/10/06

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"Kay::The impression given by your acquience declares you are willing to be abused merely because he is the head"

Emcee, so since God expects the wife to submit to her husbands leadership within the family unit, God is actually setting her up to be abused?! Please!

"Marriage is based on love & respect(Vow)we take.I cor13;4-7&13."

Did you not read my responses? Did I ever promote hate and disrespect within my comments?
---Kay on 11/10/06

>"..for HIS greater glory not mans desire."

Emcee, and God's greater glory is for us to obey Him and respect His order within the family. I will obey, love, respect, and submit to my future husband. I have absolutely no problem with that! Why? Because he obeys, loves, respects ,and submits to Jesus Christ.
---Kay on 11/10/06

"The proof is that you divorced him."

Proof? I didn't divorce him. HE divorced me. When we got married we were both unbelievers. About a year later I received Christ. Our marriage went down quickly after that. My faith in Christ offended him. He wished to leave so I let him go.
---Kay on 11/10/06

Emcee,its obvious that many people lack a proper understanding of the roles within the husband/wife relationship.The husband is also the spiritual leader of his family.He is to be an encouragement to his wife in her walk with Christ.He should pray for her and with her.He is to protect,honor, and nurture her and be sensitive to her wants and needs.God's design for the marriage relationship is about love, respect, and peace.
---Kay on 11/10/06

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"Every thing I wanted to do I discussed so that there was amicability in married life.& children knew we were in one accord."

How does this contradict God's order within the family?
---Kay on 11/10/06

Emcee, what if he believs his own judgement is more logical? What makes the woman the final authority. What should be done is that the woman should reason with him explaining her own judgement, as he should do with her. If they can't agree on a judgement, obviously someone is going to have to step down to do the Christ-like thing. If the wife is obeying God, and is submissive to her husband, should she not step down if he won't willingly do so?
---Okebaram on 11/10/06

Emcee ... We are 100% together on this issue.
---AlanUK_quent5969 on 11/10/06

Kay::"Submit to your husband" means do not deny him. Many times a womans judgement is logically better than the husband so if he does wrong you follow blindly???Is that feasible ?there is more to it than meets the eye about this submission.I was married for 54 years I left all the home administration to her. If she had a problem we would discuss it. Every thing I wanted to do I discussed so that there was amicability in married life.& children knew we were in one accord.
---Emcee on 11/9/06

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Kay::The impression given by your acquience declares you are willing to be abused merely because he is the head -NO- incorrect.Marriage is based on love & respect(Vow)we take.I cor13;4-7&13.Many men would like it so thats what makes Bullies.God took a rib,so that he would Love protect & guide her,to be a help mate & fulfill the decree of productivity,for HIS greater glory not mans desire. The proof is that you divorced him.Where is Gods law in all this, LOVE one another as "I" have loved you.
---Emcee on 11/9/06

PAM, if you do not believe that a woman should obey her husband than you are not being obedient to the Word of God, and that would exclude you from being Christian. Maybe it is your paradigm of obedience that needs understanding. Obedience does not mean you are a child. Men are told to be obedient ot Christ it does not mean we are Christ's children because He said we are all His brothers and sisters. We are obedient to Him because He is Lord. Women should strive to be like Sarah, she called Abraham lord.
---Ryan on 11/9/06


A wife honors G-d by honoring her husband.

---Reiter on 11/9/06

Emcee,the husband is love his wife AS Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for Her.So the husband isn't off the hook here. "Husbands,love your wives just AS Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her-Eph.5:25.So how does Jesus treat His Church?
(1)He doesn't neglect, ignore, or abuse the Church.
(2)He loves her, protects her, provides for her and cares for her.
(3)He doesn't treat her rudely.
(4)He doesn't show her disrespect.
(5)He makes her feel valued.
---Kay on 11/9/06

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"What if your husband treats you like a door mat."

Let God take care of him. After all, Christ is the head of the man.

"Do you still remain down trodden"

Why do people believe that a submissive wife is a down trodden wife?
---Kay on 11/9/06

If you cannot submit to your husband, at God's word, how will you submit to those in authority when they resent or discriminate you? How will you submit to your pastor if he offends you? How will you submit to Christ when He directs you against your own desires? God despises the proud and elevates the humble. Submission is a sacrifice, but it does not mean that you don't have a mind of your own, or that you should worship your husband. Do reason with him but still give him respect and some preference.
---Okebaram on 11/9/06

"What do you mean by submission?"
A wife should always show respect,love,and honor to her husband.She should yield herself to his leadership within the family unit.
"Is your husband GOD to you?"
I've been divorced for 5 years.I didn't believe in the whole submission thing until about 3 years ago.As for the husband being God, wives are to submit to their husbands AS UNTO THE LORD. No, the husband isn't God, but God wants the wife to submit to her husbands leadership.
---Kay on 11/9/06

Don't you think that sometimes a man demands more than what the Lord wants us to obey? If he would try to prevent me from going to church or to do something that I know would be offensive to God, no I wouldn't. Even Christian men aren't exempt from this.
---Norma7374 on 11/9/06

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A rebellious woman is a Vashti. A Vashti ends up out with the "dogs"...But an Esther will rise to a high place. Do not be fooled. The rebellious woman has the fate of a dog and the submissive woman has the fate of a Queen. Is there any competition between an Esther and a Vashti?! "Obey" does not need to be in the vows for a Wise woman to know that Submission is for Her Own Advantage and for the sake of keeping the family functional. To each her [or his] own role.

---Reiter on 11/9/06

"Sounds like wives are suppose to act like a well behaved dog."

Sue, do you think Christians are suppose to act like a well behaved dog? The relationship between husband and wife is an example of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Don't forget, the husband has to submit and obey also (1 Corinthians 11:3).
---Kay on 11/9/06

Hello Kay::Just a thought.Love & respect beget each other.What if your husband treats you like a door mat. Do you still remain down trodden & is that a good example to your children begotten in Love or????What do you mean by submission?Is your husband GOD to you?.
---Emcee on 11/9/06

I can obey God, but not my husband. Maybe she got married to have children, or maybe she got married because she loved the guy! Sounds like wives are suppose to act like a well behaved dog.
---sue on 11/9/06

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you are right!!!
If you cant obey then why did you get married, be single and stay single. How are you in a postion to obey god if you cant submit to your own husband
---ZIMBABWEAN on 11/9/06

I'm a firm believer in wives obeying and submitting to their husbands. There is no greater joy! The Bible says for wives to submit to their husbands AS UNTO the Lord. Going against your husband is like going against God. Submission is a matter of trusting God more than trusting in man. Do you trust God? Then submit to your husband. Respect and love your husband as you would respect and love Christ.
---Kay on 11/9/06

He answers for his family/wife all to God. It does not mean he owns U & a wise man wants his wives input. It means he loves U more then his own body would die for U but for family to work order is needed.U R his friend,lover,partner. Those that preach it as macho-cave man that is not what God meant. His love covers U, he wants U to win,be happy & due to this love U want to make him happy. U do have a say a great say look at your toughest men in sports most say Hey mom #1, Love U mom so we are esteemed.
---Jeanne on 11/8/06

Pam: Isn't that what Satan said to God?

Don't get me wrong that I'm comparing man with God, but you already know what the Bible says about the relationship between husband and wife so I won't go any further.
---Steveng on 11/8/06

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Lucky for you, Pam, "Obey" was retracted from the Vows.

---Reiter on 11/8/06

I bekieve that sometimes we forget it is the KINGDOM of God and not the United States. Our Lord commands his kingdom as he pleases and not how we please. Vashti tried that approach and lost her place as queen to one who pleased the king. Not to call Herod good, but as a king, if you want the reward you better dance for the king dear. That word says we are to be obediant to our lord and in subjection to our husbands. Commanded. Disrespect one and you disrespect both.
---Shari on 3/22/06

Eph. 5:22-23 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Pam, if you are stubborn about submitting to your husband as God has commanded, then how can you expect God to bless you?
---lee on 3/22/06

>> we can place their comments alongside scripture to determine if their comments are Christian. If someone's comments are mostly non-christian, it would stand to reason they are not a Christian - common sense.<< That isn't Biblical. The Bible tells us we are BORN again and that maturity is a process. If a person isn't able to handle the meat of the Word it is NO indication that they are not a Christian. Even if everything they can handle is the milk of the Word, they can still be a Christian.
---John on 3/22/06

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Mod ... I will try to (-: next time. Or should that be :-)? Why is there no way of putting a smile vertically? Or of putting ears on?

Moderator - Thanks!!!!!
---alan_of_uK on 3/12/06

Pam: Just curious; did you have a problem obeying your parents? Do you have a problem obeying your boss at work? Do you have difficulty obeying other scriptural commands as well (e.g. the 10 Commandments)? Are you currently married? If so, is it a happy one?
---jerry6593 on 3/12/06

Mod ... I do not expect you to publish this.

Moderator - Alan, please stop whining :) lol. Accidents can happen as we are VERY short staffed. We attempt to keep the name calling and fighting between bloggers to a minimum. Most would not believe all the stuff we have to delete or edit which is a waste of limited time. Please try to keep this in mind. Thanks.
---alan_of_uK on 3/12/06

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