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My Husband Is Unfaithful

Was faithful 9 years. Discovered he was seeing a younger woman. He rededicated his life, I forgave him but he continued to see her. I still feel connected to him and knowing that God can change anything, I continue to pray that God restores our relationship. How do I know what God's will is?

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 ---mae on 6/15/05
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While I would rejoice with you were your prayer request granted, it sounds very improbable at this point.

You have Biblical grounds for divore and remarriage. Ask God if it's His will for you to be second fiddle in this man's life, and act accordingly.
---Jack on 11/24/07

I gave my husband an ultimatum. He chose me over his mistress. Later I found out that he was still seeing her. I filed for divorce. He didn't want one. I gave him one last chance to prove himself(18 yr marriage and 3 boys). It's been 2 years and he has remained faithful. God wanted me to change first by showing love, kindness to my husband. I trusted God. I waited for His deliverance. You will know what to do when you have hit your bottom. Keep praying for God's will for you, and your marriage. Celia
---Celia on 8/14/06

He does not respect you get out now Pray for guidance.
---tonya3849 on 8/3/06

Mae, Dear child of God:You can use this abuse to leave now .He has broken the ties that bind.It is not what he says but what he does.I pray you will leave him and have the freedom you deserve from all this sin.God will bless you and you will do fine on your own,and respect who you are getting rid of him quick,before the ink drys.Lulac3895
---Lula on 6/10/06

I have been married 16 years, recently I found out that my husband had an affair. It hurt, but I am sure you know about that same hurt, I am sorry for you r pain. I have forgiven my husband, and we re trying to work things out, there is too much good in our marriage to let it go.
---mary on 7/12/05

Why would anyone want to stay with someone who has cheated on them? I love my husband dearly but if he ever cheated on me there would not be another chance for us. I would not put myself through that hell when I have a choice. My first marriage, my husband cheated on me I found out and I left. yes I loved him but God didn't put me on this earth to be treated that way. this is your choice if you can get passed this, and truely forgive him without strings attached good luck to you and may God bless.
---Rebecca_D on 7/11/05

I can empathize with you partially. My husband cheated on me once but it was with a hooker. I decided to forgive him and move on because I do love him very much. Also, during the three years of our marriage he has been watching porn at first heavily and now just a bit recently. I asked myself, when do you draw the line? God wants us to forgive but he also wants us to be happy and not let someone take advantage. Maybe separation or acting on divorce can change him.
---Maha on 7/11/05

Hi Mae, it's a hard road to be on..I am walking it too!1 I am so confused..feel like god doesn't want to help me because he does not answer my prayers..I know he loves me, but it hurts a lot. i love my husband, but know this is not God's way to live.
---Patty on 6/26/05

Sometimes we hold on to things we shouldn't for a lot of reasons, fear is one. Fear of being alone. Your spouse was unfaithful, that is the one reason you can divorce him. God can change things but sometimes he allows things to happen for a reason. Such was my case. My spouse divorced me after cheating and three years later I had attorneys knocking on my door cause he was being fraudulent in his business. I was taken OUT of the situation. If he continued seeing her, he was not honorable.
---Carol on 6/21/05

My father committed adultery our childhood was a H___ on earth. My first wife did as well. I can tell you NO good comes of such a thing. My dearest second wife an I are married 35 yrs. and 32 to Christ. Christ clearly speaks on this sin against God and man in Matthew 5:32 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress,
---Gregg on 6/19/05

This I know, if the Lord tells you something it will come to pass because he never changes his mind. It may not be with this person, there may be someone better. The Lord wants the best for his children and though it may seem so hard to walk through such a thing we get stronger because of it! I never thought I would have to go through a divorce like I am now. I asked the Lord if I would ever understand this and he said yes, that I would understand later. PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!
---angea6336 on 6/17/05

Funny thing is I think we bought the same pair of shoes. I have been going through this for 3yrs. Praying and fasting. You will hear many things from many people and there are lots of scriptures on it. The thing that sticks with me the most is that God will never over ride someone's will. Sometimes it's hard to hear the Lord over our own hearts and sometimes we hear him wrong for the same reason.
---angea6336 on 6/17/05

If you still feel connected to your husband, and want the relationship to work, then remain single, and pray for the Lord to show you if HE wants to restore it. If its NOT God's will to restore this marriage, the Lord will tell you, and you will HAVE TO move on. You do not have the right to hold your ex husband hostage, if he has left you for another woman. Pray and wait for the Lord to give you the answer.
---Carol on 6/16/05

I understand your torn apart feelings. You told us that you are still connected to him; on the other hand, he does not seem to be willing to respect that connection. God can change things and no doubt about it. When people choose to remain in their sin, God does not force people to change. My dear, I also suggest Christian counseling. seble5457
---Seble on 6/16/05

My ex was an adulterer-there were many women. His continual lies shattered my life and our son's. My pastor never urged separation-I wish he had. He's not only broken his vows to you, but to the Lord, and tough love is required. I'd suggest separating, requiring him to get counseling, making him rebuild the trust; then divorce if he cannot completely recommit himself in every way. He has to learn that you won't tolerate it any longer-you are not a doormat. Forgiving doesn't mean allowing it to continue.
---Gayla on 6/15/05

I don't know if you and your husband are still living together, but if you are, I would make him move out. Divorce? No I'm not saying that - but you don't have to live with your husband's abuse and his adultery is abuse. I'd ask him to get counseling but until he's able to be faithful, he can no longer live with you. I'm sorry for your pain - I will pray for you.
---Darcy on 6/15/05

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Often we can know God's will by reading his word. Check your concordance for everything pertaining to marriage, divorce, etc. Study his word, and ask for revelation and understanding. Note: If he rededicated his life, and then remained unfaithful to you, he did not truly repent. If I were in your shoes, I would not divorce him, but I wouldn't let him share his bed with two wives either...something to think about.
---Katie on 6/15/05

God says to forgive 70x7. He doesnt wish for divorce, but grants it only under this condition. i feel it should only be considered after forgiving this many times and praying for God to enter your husbands heart and your marriage.
---james on 6/15/05

To know God's word is to know God's will! All things are possible through Christ!
God bless.
---Chandra on 6/15/05

Mae, I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with this. Though I don't have a clear answer for you, I do know that God is able to heal brokenness. I don't know if you have tried counseling as a couple. It might help. I also know that you have to have clear communication, and all of us in order to walk away from sin, must want to. Pray this for him. I guess that's all I can say.
---Sarah on 6/15/05

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