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Asked My Husband To Leave

I have asked my husband to leave our home, this is our 4th seperation in 2 years of marriage, he is argumentative, does not let me finish sentences and is hard towards his step-son (age 6) expecting him to be an adult. We go to counselling but nothing is actioned, he says sorry but nothing changes.

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 ---Jacinta on 6/28/05
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As you can see, there are many here experiencing the same situation.
God doesn't approve of abuse in marriages.
It it is severe, then you must go and preserve the well being of your children.
If the abuse is physical and your children are in danger of being hurt, you must think of their welfare. Too many bad marriages end up in divorce court, but it would be better to divorce than have your children hurt.
---Bob on 2/16/08

A good book to read is Love & Respect by Dr. Eggerias (not sure how to spell his name). It will change the way you look at your marriage. Promise you that...Give it a chance
---Aaron on 2/16/08

Jacinta: Love should not hurt and it seems you are hurting really bad. I will be praying for you honey. You are in a hard and cold place in your marriage. A problem not easily solved. You must be real close to your little baby son. Some men get really jealous of this.For some reason. That is so sad and unecessary. How can he expect a baby of 6 yrs to be an adult? My heart goes out to you. I had an almost similar situation but the child was much older than 6. The child was his also.
---Robyn on 7/9/07

You have tried to make your marriage work,however,it sounds like your husband is just going through the motions of cooperating.He evidently does not intend to apply himself to the process for improvement. Most important thing;not to let him abuse your child,and it is abuse when an adult expects a child to act older than his age."Sorry" is only valid when change comes with it.You've done what you must to protect your son.If your husband hasn't changed by now,he probably won't.
---Darlene_1 on 7/9/07

Somebody once told me that the first 5 years of marriage are the hardest. If this man is hurting you or your son then yes, you should be separated but still get counsel. Pray a lot.
---sue on 7/26/05

...You also need to get counselling for yourself from someone with experience in counselling abused women. Abuse of any kind must not be tolerated. Speaking from the sadness of experience. I understand your pain.
---Mary_Ann on 7/26/05

If you or your child are being abused in any way-physical, emotional, verbal, sexual-then I highly recommend you separate from him. Separation is not divorce and may be necessary to preserve your life or your child's well-being. Then require that your husband get counselling and make permanent changes in his life before you live together again. You can still pray for him. You will still be married so must keep your vows to him but live separately for your safety. More...
---Mary_Ann on 7/26/05

unconditional our Saviour has done for us! <><
---monique on 6/30/05

I say for the protection of the child's mind and future emotions: i being a man/father of 54, you are right lady, he needs to get out and get "TRULY" born again!
I know you will and have been praying for his real deliverance from his past [inherited devil(s)]
---Robert on 6/30/05

While you may feel justified in seeking a separation, unless he has committed adultery, or abused you in any way, I encourage you to rethink it.

My suggestion is to get the book, "The Power of a Praying Wife." Pray it and read it. Ask the Lord to examine you, and your heart. God will work in your marriage if you let Him.

God bless.
---Madison on 6/29/05

I dont know who you are, but you are not under the law. God doesnt like divorce and no one does, but you and I are under a better covenant and Gods GRACE AND MERCY and God does forgive us and tells us to go on. Do not let someone put guilt on you for marrying a divorced person, Jesus forgives,but religiosity doesnt, Jeus had more trouble with the religious, than anyone else in the bible. God annoints us and man says he cant!
---Jeannie on 6/29/05

I have gone through JUST what you are going through. Along with all of the other advice about your relationship, everyone has an opinion, YOU must make the final decision. I read a book when I was going through my divorce, a MESSY one with 3 kids at the time. The book was, "Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them." It not only changed my perspective, but changed MANY things about what (emotional damage) I took with me. Best of luck and may you BE BLESSED.
---Colleen on 6/29/05

wow I can't believe some of the comebacks on this question. I can't believe how someone is blaming her and saying she left a marriage. Well if you read her statement to one of the replies she said she wasn't married before she was a single mother. I see alot of blaming her on some of these replies and it's not fair to her. She is asking a question not to be judged. Who are we to judge people??? To me she has tried counseling and he doesn't seem to want to make it work. I wish her the best.
---debbie23453 on 6/29/05

The word of God says that a Christian should not marry a divorced Christian unless fornication was the sin which caused the divorce(meaning the other partner not yours). If you married someone that divorced for other reasons then you made yourself unequally yoked and yes, there comes downfalls. If you were a Christian and he was not you should not marry.
---angea6336 on 6/29/05

However, there is scripture that tell us that we the Christian can not ask the unbeliever to leave. They must want to leave on their own. So sweetheart, unless he chooses to leave, you need to remain being a good wife and just bite your tongue. We will be praying.
---angea6336 on 6/29/05

In marriage vows one says for better or for worse,in health and in sickness,in poverty and in riches I will stick by you.That vow is not made before man only but is made before the Most High God. The Bible also talks of how one is refined as Silver.Being refined means going through fire and the challenges of Life to come out a new being...I am nott saying its easy but inorder for a child to be born one has to go through labour pain...Something good is going to happen
---Mitch-Steve on 6/29/05

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Dearest Daughter in Christ
Acording to your Question It seams that you were married Before, and as christians we must obay the word of God,if you marry a devocy you are guilty ofcomiting adultry, you must exept what comes ,and try to now make of what you have by the bindings of marrage, ask God to forgive you and help you he will guide you throgh belive me, and ill up hold you in prayer God bless you
lol justa
---justa on 6/29/05

I can't understand anyone suggesting the wife's to blame for the abuse.God doesn't accept blameshifted excuses, nor allow scapegoats taking responsibility for others behavior.Everyone must own what they do.Wife isn't the scarificial goat to carry husbands faults/sins, taking them away.To judge Jacinta is wrong.To blame her for his behavior,to judge her life before,is worse than wrong. The head may not have a healthy brain.Would Jacinta's judges blindly condone/follow a loveless braindead abuser?
---Darlene_1 on 6/29/05

PIERR, your judgement of me is wrong, I did not leave another marriage, I had my son as a single mother before being saved 5 years ago. This is my first marriage. JIMMY - I have given my hubby ample opp to be the head of the home, he has abdicated that responsibility by his OWN admission. He won't pray with us, worship with us, he is more in the flesh now than ever. Our Pastor tells him what to do he nods his head then does nothing. He was married before and she left and took his kids away from him.
---Jacinta on 6/29/05

i like your answer jimmy <><
---monique on 6/28/05

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I understand your point Jimmy, but the Bible also says for the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church. So please don't put all the blame on Jacinta as it sounds like he isn't following scripture either. He needs to be more Christlike in order for his wife to be able to respect him as head. I don't believe Jesus wants a woman to follow her husbands lead if he is not being spiritually correct as leader!
---Janet7433 on 6/28/05

My dear sister,it sounds funny for the head to be told to leave the body.Husband is the head of the wife or your bible puts it the other way round? Pray about this,you may be the problem without knowing. Go to our Lord please. Jimmy.
---Jimmy on 6/28/05

While we live in this world we will suffer troubles. There is a way to live in Christ and be at peace with each other.It can be found by seeking God. You sound like you are trying and not wanting to give up. But you do have to protect your son. Counciling is good. Staying in Christ is better. Seeking help is wise. Avoid strife. Walk in love. Let God work in you,and let God work on him. He has to seek Gods help and want to change. We can not see his heart and know what is troubling him...but God can.
---Linda3939 on 6/28/05

I had to ask my husband to leave after 10 years, similar situation but he was unwilling to go to counseling of any kind. God hates divorce because it is so damaging to those He loves. Relationships require work and sacrifice. If your counselor can set up an environment where each person can be heard and respected it is an important step. Try to talk to your counselor about options, if you both are working at it you may just need more time. Pray. God Bless.
---Chera3744 on 6/28/05

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We who are christians all go through trails, and tests. The devil comes to kill, steal and destroy, and one of his attacks is on the marriages. But the good news is we who have given our lives to God through His precious son Jesus Christ have the victory over every firey dart that satan throws at us, and no weapon form against us shall prosper, when we put all of our trust in God and His word. I am praying for you and your family.
---barbara on 6/28/05

I don't think that it is wise to tell you to leave your husband since we don't really know you or your husband. And from what you have said, not that he beats you or your son but that he is argumentative. We as christians really need to pray, and keep our spouses before the Lord first before we give up on our marriages. All things are possible with God and no one or nothing is too hard for Him.
---barbara on 6/28/05

Please don't put all of the blame on yourself, that's self destructive. Women can and have been known to be drawn to the same types of men, more than once. Therefore, they suffer the consequences of their poor choices. Is this your husbands first time at parenting?
If you can't go forward in counseling, perhaps it may be time to leave this marriage A relationship that drags you down emotionally will drag you down physically and your son deserves one loving stable parent to care for him.
---DeniMari on 6/28/05

I will pray for you,and may God give you happiness and all the peace you need. (warra7575 christinet) Blessings. John
---john on 6/28/05

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I don't know what the LEGAL RAMIFCATIONS are for you to ask him to leave but maybe the time has come for you to go. I don't know but it surely would better for all of you to work it out. I note the 6 yr old step-son. This means you just left another marriage not too long ago! Could it be that you are a bit more of the problem than you admit? Think about it!
---Pierr7958 on 6/28/05

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