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See A Christian Counselor

My wife has grown quite distant to me, and expressed this last night. She feels am just the man who brings home the paycheck. We seem to have little in common, outside of church. We are both committed to Christ. What course of action should we take? I suggested a Christian counselor.

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 ---Steve7595 on 6/28/05
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If you are really committed to Christ that would mean that you would also remember your marrage vows which you made in His presence.
Now, since she just told you the news, why don't you plan to attend a "I sill do" type of ralley. Go even if you have to fly, stay at a fancy hotel ect. It may just be the ticket you need!
---Pierr7958 on 8/26/07

I agree that a Chritian counselor is a wise thing to do, as sometimes we are too close to a situation to see it clearly (the forest for the trees, as it were). Find one who is highly recommended and if your wife doesn't want to attend, at least go yourself. You need help in sorting things out. Also, there are two books I found helpful, Love Must Be Tough (Dr. Dobson) and Relationship Rescue (Dr. Phil McGraw). May God bless.
---Ginger on 7/24/05

I suggest that you ask God to examine your heart. What behaviors do you do that would cause your wife to feel you just bring home the paycheck? Ask the Lord to reveal the truth about your role in the marriage.

Definitely seek counseling. In that forum you can work together on resolving these and other differences.
---Madison on 6/29/05

Seeing a counselor is a good idea. I looked at your question and tried to empathize with your wife. Do you make her feel like she wastes money or do you make major decisions w/o her input? Or, perhaps you don't "woo" her anymore with tokens of your affection or tell her that her hair looks nice or that she looks lovely in blue. We still like that stuff, even after many years of marriage! It's good you're both committed to Christ, because you'll be dedicated to strengthening your marriage.
---Kim on 6/29/05

unconditional when you both first met. <><
---monique on 6/28/05

, sadly, many women today have been brought up to believe that husbands are there to serve her and fulfill her. a godly spouse will seek to follow Jesus' example.
---steve on 6/28/05

This happens to a lot of Christians. As we get closer to God, the things of this world and about this world seam less important. What about starting a ministry together or having bible studies in your home. Just to consider.
Pray to God about it. Try doing things that you have not done before. Keep sharing Gods word till something comes along.I'm in the same boat, but I'm trusting God.
---Linda3939 on 6/28/05

As a woman myself, I feel that your wife needs to get out and work and feel a part of the marriage not a recipient of your money. I hope you find things you have in common and make a happy relationship of your marriage. A marriage counselor should help you both. Try it.
---Valer3749 on 6/28/05


A christian counselor is a good place to start.
As long as you both are willing perhaps someone objective to the situation can pinpoint where the problem is. I suggest regular time together and making a concious effort to do it. Movies, walks, dinners out,
dancing, home projects etc., it doesn't have to be anything extravagant - just shared time alone together to get reaquainted as you will.
Best of luck to both of you -
---DeniMari on 6/28/05

While the previous people gave great advice, I would agree with you sir that you need a mediator. Oftentimes a staff member who has been called to counsel/experienced in it from another church can be good. There may be a very simple reason or maybe more complex. The bottom line is that this didnt happen overnight soit will take time to fix and explore. Know that I am praying for you. I currently counsel people on staff at a church myself and this is not uncommon.
---heida8887 on 6/28/05

You may want to start getting interested in her hobbies or activities and gently ask her to get involved in yours also.

How about a second honeymoon even if it's for a long weekend?
---Albert on 6/28/05

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