My Christian Wife Left Me
I was married 5 years, we were both Christians at the time, and there has been no adultery by either of us. My wife left me and our 2 children and got a divorce against my wishes. I still don't really know why. Can I marry again?
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---Billy on 7/1/05
Helpful Blog Vote (24)
bill: I would say good riddance to good rubbish.
The person committed adultery numerous times so she is a serial cheater. You are free to find someone who will really love you and be loyal to you.
---poopsey on 7/26/11|
yes, you can. The bible says, he that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour fron God. if she has decided to leave you, fine. let her be, just pray and leave it in God's hand to take care of. He alone knows why he let it happen. just kip praying for God to put things right for you. it is well.
---goody on 7/26/11|
I married a fellow Christian woman whom constantly commuted adultery and I have not seen her in nearly three years. Is it ok to start looking for another wife?
---bill on 7/25/11|
i am going through a situation that sounds close to yours.I have been married almost 5yrs my wife left me 3wks ago.she was pregnate each year and is emotionally hurt I had to work a second job to pay bills.In your case from what I feel,if you still love your wife,give her time and yourself time before marring again.God works through many ways that we cant understand!what is taken from you will be replaced two fold with your wife or your new wife thats on the way.Two of Jesus main teachings is love shared with others and forgive others.I have told my wife that I will contest a divorce.When I face God I dont want to say that I did not do everything that I could to keep my promise to HIM and to her
---keith on 10/30/10|
My humble advise is:
"Position God first in your heart"
Then place your spouse in second place.
Love God with all your heart.
Then love others (your spouse, in particular)as yourself."
Psychologically, the above statement summarized from the scripture, could
remove most sorrow from our life,
including living with an adulterous
and/or unfaithful spouse.
---Joloo on 8/22/09|
If your wife divorced you, you are free. It is her that is not free because she is the one who broke the bonds, not you. Unless there was fornication on your part. Then she has the right to divorce.Read 1 Cor.7.
---john on 9/3/08|
"we were both Christians at the time?" What about now? Is she mentally ill? Is it abandonment?
---Eloy on 9/2/08|
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with [his] wife, it is not good to marry.
But he said unto them, All [men] cannot receive this saying, save [they] to whom it is given.
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
---Carla3939 on 9/2/08|
1 Corinthians 7:13-16
If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him...But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife,whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?"
Your wife's overt disobedience to the Word of God regarding marriage is convincing evidence that she is not truly a believer, so, as Paul writes, You are "not enslaved"--ie you are free from the bonds of marriage.
Lastly, to make it simple, a Biblical divorce inherently allows for a Biblical remarriage.
---Robbie on 8/21/08|
5 yrs,both believers. No adultery, She filed for divorce and reconciled 2x, 1 day she met her lawyer,divorce final.Unable to contest , writ handed to me.Over a yr ago,she dates other men,no desire to reconnect.Am I still bound by biblical mandate? She's very distant except for the recent time she was depressed and came to me for prayer,got to minister to her, but after that back to the same.I'd like to win her back, but gets upset if I try to be friendly towards her. Signed, Man of God in lament
---Phil on 9/4/07|
Can you marry again? You still don't know what went wrong in your previous marriage.
Surely you have some idea. You are jumping from the skillet into the frying pan. You need to spend some time alone and with God to figure out went wrong and what part you played in this break up. It is never all, one person's fault.She sounds like a very cold hearted person leaving her kids and all but I am sure she had some reason for doing what she did. A divorce can take place but don't abandon the kids. I'm sorry.
---Robyn on 6/10/07|
Madison, if your husband was dating other women before your divorce was final, that's adultery.
Do you know for a fact that he was not seeing someone while you were married, before you even knew he was leaving you. Men can be cads.
They usually have someone lined up.
Did he immediately have someone after he left your house - before the divorce?
If so, that's adultery.
---Toby on 6/9/07|
Our laws have made divorce so easy and made marriage essentially an institution without contract. I'm sorry Billy. Let's all pray for each other.
Jam 5:16 "Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."
---jhonny on 6/8/07|
All through the word of God He tells us how He hates divorce, and I take God at His word. Under God's economy, The only reason for a divorce is adultery. Unless spouse expires, no you may not remarry.
---catherine on 6/8/07|
Matthew 18 talks about disputes. If this ostensibly Christian wife refuses to listen to the church and do her duty as a wife and mother, then she is to be treated as a publican or tax collector. That is, it would be as if an unbeliever left the marrriage, so you are no longer bound, so are free to remarry (1 Cor. 7).
---Ktisophilos on 6/8/07|
Madison, I'm not sure your pastor is right. In effect, he is saying that the guilty party is free to remarry, but the innocent party, yourself, is bound by what the guilty party does (or doesn't).
---Ktisophilos on 6/8/07|
She could do this but she is not to remarry while you are yet alive. You are not to remarry. You and your wife can reconcile. But as you see, so many Christians are completely ignoring the Word of God, on this issue. Your choice but there may be a price to pay for doing this. Christian couples can separate and maintain separate households. If one or the other dies then they can remarry other spouses. The spouse should, preferably, be born again.
---Robyn on 6/8/07|
You can post me a note if you like, and I can talk about this with you privately. I spent a lot of time in the Word and in prayer about this very issue last year, when the same thing happened to me. I'd love to share with you.
---murra5886 on 6/8/07|
Part of your question as to "why" may be in the age you got married. How old was she? She, of course, has committed adultery, but that's her problem. You, from what you state, you are the innocent party. While you may re-marry, the only thing you can't do at this point, is marry a divorced woman. (If a woman would marry you who has been divorced, she would be guilty of adultey.) However, I've seen divorced, Christian couples get remarried and things work out fine. Mt. 5:32
---WIVV on 8/17/05|
The bible says that if the unbeliever departs let him/her depart, the believing husband/wife is not under bondage in such cases. it is obveous she was never a christian, No mother who is human abandons her babies like your wife did. forgive me but you are better off without her.
---susanna on 8/1/05|
i'm so sorry for you Billy, i know what you're going through. Immerse yourself in God. He will see you through. Many times i have to stop where ever i am, and i bow my head and say, "Jesus, please, i need you here right now." And you know, he always comes through and helps. My prayers are with you brother. God will help you and yours.
---Eloy on 7/6/05|
For Madison: That's sort of the conclusion I had come to. I know my ex dates other men now, but I don't know if/when she'll remarry. She's made it very clear, repeatedly, that she won't consider reconciliation under any circumstances. Scripture verses, reasoning, pleading, tears- none of it touches her at all. But I can wait awhile, and see what God has in mind for me.
---Billy on 7/6/05|
For Eloy: The kids are 1 and 3 years old- not enough to understand much, yet. I think I'd wait till things seemed serious before I talked to them much. Little ones get attached so easily, and I don't want to hurt them more than they already have been. They see their mom two days a week, for now, but that won't last forever- she wants to move far away. I don't know what will happen then.
---Billy on 7/5/05|
My marriage ended four years ago. No adultery, he just left. I spoke with my pastor and he advised me not to consider remarrying until my exhusband remarried. He said that then I would be free to remarry.
I vowed that I would not remarry, lest there be a chance of reconciliation, until then. He has since remarried, and I am waiting on the Lord for my life.
---Madison on 7/4/05|
You can remarry, and you would not be violating godliness. But if the children are old enough to understand, i would have a get together sit down talk with them and see how they feel about it too, since this would impact their lives in a real way in acquiring another mother.
---Eloy on 7/4/05|
I love her very much, Eloy. I don't know if I'll ever remarry, but someday I might. I'm only 29, and the rest of my life might be a long time. I get lonely, by myself. But it's not all about me. I think about my kids, with only me to raise them. And I think, maybe I'd make another lady happy. I always wanted to spend my life to do as much good as God gave me to do, in marriage as in all things.
---Billy on 7/3/05|
You cannot force your spouse to stay faithful or to stay with you. If she became self-absorbed, mentally unsound, adulterous, or whatever the case is and divorced (forced division) you, then you can contest (fight with appeals) against it or else accept it. You are free to remarry but i would ask, if you really loved her then why would you ever remarry someone else?
---Eloy on 7/2/05|
yes you can..but what does our Father want from you, is the question to your answer..<>< seek that. :-)
---monique on 7/1/05|
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Please do come and talk to me as, I have been through one divorce and almost ended the second marriage. I think that I have some insights that you could use. :)
---Rebecca on 7/1/05|