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I Feel Guilty From An Abortion

I just turned 26. Five years ago I had an abortion after being raped. I feel so guilty. Every day on my way to work I pass a police station. I want to turn myself in for murder because that's what I did. Should I?

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 ---Jordan on 7/9/05
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You will get better. By faith you must take the sin, tell God exactly how you feel about it, take the sin to the cross, by faith in Jesus ask God to wash the sin away in the blood of Jesus. Keep going back to the cross by faith over and over again as long as it takes, whenever you feel the pain, the guilt. God is faithful and He loves you and He knows that this, what you are going through is exactly why Jesus had to die on that cross. Because without His subsitutionary death on the cross for you and me we would never be truly free from our guilt for our sins. Keep doing this and eventually you will start to really believe it. God will help you and the pain will die the death of the cross and go away.
---tom_midgette on 4/18/09

I feel for you so much. I have been through this more than once and I swore it would never be me. If you have God in your life now you will know that he forgives you and that your baby is with him. He will also not let you be in this situation again. You are forgiven, you must forgive yourself. And please don't rush to replace the baby - take time for yourself and the right man will come along for you to have a happy family. Much love and God Bless x
---caitlin on 3/26/09

Now you must follow Him.
Trust in Him. God said" This is my beloved Son, LISTEN TO HIM"
Luke 9:35And a voice came out of the cloud, saying, This is My beloved Son. Hear Him!

If you love Him you will follow Him.
Change makes sense.
---Paul on 7/26/08

What is done, is done. It is no good flogging yourself to death, it won't undo anything. In fact, if God has forgiven you, because you ask forgiveness, then you have to forgive yourself. If you cannot forgive yourself, how good are you going to be at forgiving others who do wrong to you, or to others? God has forgiven you a great debt - rejoice and be forgiven.
---frances008 on 7/23/08

I too suffer from guilt from abortion. I wish I could take it back, there are several things I want to take back but that is the one thing that I want to change the most. I knew it was wrong, but I was so scared about money and being alone when my boyfriend and I were having problems that I gave up on what was right. the thought crosses my mind often but I have to remember that God knows the heart and he forgives, I repent and will never do it again.
---mse on 7/22/08

Thankfully God does not condemn us for what we do wrong, or none of us would be here. I believe the Holy Spirit may be convicting you that what you did was against God's will. I don't know your circumstances and will not pass judgment on you. Just give it to the Lord. Ask for his forgiveness and trust he forgives you. Going to the police is not the answer. Abortion is legal in most states now. God already knows the pain in your heart that you struggle with. Give it to God and go on. Stop condemning yourself. God is about love and forgiveness when you are truly sorry. I'd be more concerned if this happened and you didn't give it another thought. You obviously want to please God and He says that his grace is sufficient. So believe it.
---jaden on 7/22/08

It seems hard that you have paid a double price and the perpatrator got away without your guilt. Don't keep letting the devil accuse you. You were very young and still are. You have time to have the children that God intends you to have. Don't let The Accuser destroy your life more than he has already. You can have babies for many years even into your forties, so don't feel pressured. However, if you like children, ask God to pick you a good man out asap and when he comes forward, you choose to love that man. Don't rely on falling in love, it is a fool's game. Marriage is a contract and you will learn to love your husband.
---frances008 on 7/22/08

No. What you did was justified, because the rapist's actions put your life in jeopardy--prenancy is a hazardous life-threatening state that NO ONE has the right to force upon another.

Put the blame for the abortion where it belongs: on the rapist!

As for your life, try taking a different way to work, so you don't have to think about it so much. And do try to get some counseling.

(And for any blogger here who thinks otherwise, here's something to think about: it's one thing to risk one's life to willingly donate a kidney, it's another thing entirely to have a kidney stolen.)
---Nancy on 7/22/08

As an outdoor homeless person, I have dealt with various police officers. They are people. If you came into an office to turn yourself in for killing your unborn...among other things, it might make their day a little more interesting. You might get a totally clueless look from a newer officer behind the desk.

And along with doing their tough work of enforcement, officers can be the ones who first are in a position to show compassion to very needy people. And ones likely would be glad to have an opportunity to do their compassionate thing with you.

Ones would probably feel for you and tell you you don't need to keep suffering and punishing yourself about it, and they would likely offer you encouragement and suggest you get help.
---Bill_bila5659 on 7/22/08

You need psychiatric and/or professional help.
---linda on 7/22/08

No you should not. Please stop condemning yourself. Get on with your life. If you are not saved, I pray that Jesus will save you. Have a good week.
---catherine on 7/22/08

It is unfortunate that the church tends to make women like you feel like you do. Never forget that our loving God forgives you. There are ministries designed to help women like you recover from their feelings of guilt. Maybe if you did some Internet research you could find a Christian support group composed of recovering women who have had abortions.
---obewan on 7/21/08

I am sorry to hear about your plight. You are certainly not alone,however. The only thing you can really do is to pray to God about your inability to forgive yourself. Possibly your "biological time-clock" is ticking rapidly as you approach 30 and this adds to your feelings of guilt. Just know that Jesus died so that you might live and try to move on. Lingering in our failures is not God's will. Focus upon serving the Lord and reach out to others.
---jody on 7/20/08

The Police? that is a good one.
No. Even if you did they won't arrest you cause mans law is overriding God's laws right now.
And millions of children are being slaughtered in the womb or right before they are to be born into the world.
It is legal to kill a child.
I wish the child could fight for the right to live while inn the womb. it is so unfair and unjust to that little child who can not speak for himself.

What you can do, now that you know it was wrong to terminate the life of a can fight for LIFE from now on. Put your enlightenment in the Truth. PRO - Life is God's will. Do God's will. Serve Him from now on and believe in the forgiveness of sins.
---Paul on 7/20/08

We all have an ugly past. We have all sinned. Leaving the past behind, we press on to the mark with Jesus. If you confessed this to Jesus, He has forgiven you, ask Him to help you to forgive yourself. Ask a Pastor to point you in the right direction to get counsiling over this. It is hard, but we have to leave our old nature behind and walk in the new one. Look forward, not back. God has good things for you.
---Linda3939 on 7/12/08

Turning yourself in to the police is not going to make you feel any better. We all have done things we are not proud of. I have and every one here has,too. Have you been born again? If so-Jesus has forgiven you beloved. Accept the forgiveness and move on. Use your experience to help others. Not to hurt and harm yourself. My love to you.
---Robyn on 7/11/07

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The only ONE you need to turn yourself into is Jesus! Confess your sin to Him and ask/receive His forgiveness and turn away from sin (which from your expression you will probably not repeat) FORGIVE YOURSELF as Jesus will forgive you!
---Pierr7958 on 7/11/07

My situation was similiar. I did not have an abortion, but I had an unplanned pregnancy at a young age. I thought my life was over. But I gave it over to God, and now I am a President of a Pro-Life Group and I help other girls in my similiar situation. How many babies can you save now that you know the truth. What I thought was going to destroy my life is now my greatest blessing. In helping others, you will empower yourself. In loving your little angel in Heaven you will save many lives on earth.
---Paisley on 12/16/05

Dearest Jordon, If you are Born Again, you are forgiven....Before I was saved miscarried..years latter I had an abortion...When I got saved I was guilt ridden...One time in prayer I was crying out to God..He told me I had two sons in Heaven waiting for me...He the Holey spirit comforted me..I released that grief...Jesus loves you
---Lynn_Bedford77 on 12/14/05

You do have a unique opportunity. You can become a very powerful voice to other women in the same circumstance who desperately need someone to tell them about the good n salvation,that they are already forgiven if they will just accept the salvation being offered. Rejection of salvation means that you would rather be judged by old testament law.

Be at peace my friend.
---ken on 8/12/05

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Take your abortion to the cross in prayer. If you have accepted the lord Jesus as your personal savior you can then claim the blood of the lamb. As for forgiveness, you were forgiven some two thousand years ago when Jesus died on the cross for all of our sins. Mine, yours, every bodies, all you have to do is accept Jesus as your Lord and savior.
---ken on 8/12/05

Just let go of your guilty. God understand & forgave you a long time. I'm really sorry for what happened to you. God is a healing. I will pray for your healing & to let God of the past.
---Zandile on 7/20/05

hello my friends-

Just saying hello and thank you for your responses. I may drop in every now and then to see if there are any new posts. Please ask me any question yu wish and I will answer honestly. Thank you all and GOD bless. (-:
---Jordan on 7/19/05

1st off, I am sadden by your traumatic experience. I do not wish that on anyone. The reason you got the abortion is between you and God, which he had already forgiven you for. Our biggest problem in life after excepting Christ as our saviour, is forgiving our self for the sins we had in our lives. I pray you find peace with in yourself. I hope Philippians 4:5-9 will help.
---geraa7578 on 7/14/05

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My dear Jordon
.God understands you better than anyone else and his word will heal your heart. Hebrews 4:12
He is more than happy to forgive you.
Just surrender all to God."Let Go and let God."
When you give it to the lord, he(devil) has no way out of it cause God forgives sins. In Jesus there is no sight of this sin anymore.
Hold on to the truth that God forgave you, and the devil will be at the loosing end.
---olive on 7/13/05

Thank you my friends for all your imput. This is helping me put things into perspective. I have been seeing a psychotherapist for 2 years now. It helps a little. Please keep the responses coming. Thank you so so so much.
---Jordan on 7/13/05

Jordan, you are still have deep remorse problems after five years. You need high quality clinical counseling that is beyond the level training of most pastors and Christian paraprofessional councilors. You were raped dear.
---phia4633 on 7/13/05

If no one here has been through this, then we are in no shape to give you advice. What was done was done, I know that you are sorry just by what you wrote. God can't handle this situation if you won't give it to him. Take it one day at a time, God forgives for he is a merciful God. He understood the state of mind you were in. Don't let satan control your mind, take it step by step holding onto God's hand, and he will take you through it.
---Rebecca_D on 7/13/05

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2. Only God forgives-not mankind.Lean on God when you feel like crying. No need to confide in man. I've had others look at me differently/judge me after I told them I had a abortion.I'll never tell my children now or when they're grown. No need to. God has forgiven me and has helped me to love myself after many years of pain and guilt. I'm a new creature/creation in the eyes of God. Made whole again by God.
---EJ on 7/12/05

1. Every time you feel guilt, give the guilt to God. You'll never forget about having the abortion and every year about the time you had the abortion you will remember and always wonder what if? Don't let satan use this guilt to destroy you and he will use the guilt. Only God can give you the peace from the hurt that you're feeling. Just don't let the guilt destroy what God has planned for your future.
---EJ on 7/12/05

THOU SHALL NOT KILL. Four powerful words. Rape is no excuse to kill a life. 1 can give it into adoption. It's not the child's fault,it is still God's child. It's done,ask forgiveness as at the time u were not in a state to make a good decision. Jesus will forgive you.
---Marie_Jacquelyne on 7/12/05

I just went through this exact situation with my wife. She was raped. We talked for a long long time and then decided it would be best for us to not keep the pregnancy. My wife is seeing a Christian therapist. You CAN get through this. Pray that the annointing of the H.S. will be upon you as you are mourning your child. I know you will be in my prayers.
---Kyle on 7/12/05

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As a minister, I have to say that all this compassion is wonderful. However, we need to keep in mind that life begins at conception. I cannot personally condone a woman aborting her baby just because she was attacked. That child could have been cared for and nourished. But what is done is done. Jordan, pray for peace and move on with your life. Learn from this.
---Joshua on 7/11/05

Don't be to hard on yourself. I honestly don't know what I would have done. I can only imagine the pain that you are going through with, not only dealing with being raped but having to make a decision like that. God knows your heart, and he understands the reasoning behind your decision. It wouldn't do any good for you to go to the police station. You need to turn to God for he is the only one who can hold you in his arms and make the pain go away.
---Rebecca_D on 7/11/05

Abortion can be justified in cases of rape, incest or to protect the life of the mother - this is the stand taken by Pres. Bush and most religious leaders. Of course there are always those that want to point out that they are righteous and you are not but you need to ignore them. I would not vocalize what has happened in the past and simply try to bury those memories. Often confession is good for the soul but remember that you may be given ammunition to those of the self righteous class.
---lee on 7/11/05

Let me put in my 2 cents--

For all have sinned and fallen shout of the glory of GOD. We ALL have messed up in some way. I was raped as well. I was 14. I am now 30. I didn't keep me baby either. However, I was a teenager and I'm diabetic. It would have probably killed me to keep that child. However, I know that when I go HOME, my baby will be there and we can be happy together beyond forever, for all time.
---Nicole on 7/11/05

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Does no-one else notice that Jordan was RAPED?
You all blame her for the abortion, but no-one commiserates with her over the evil violence which was done to her.
---Alan8869_of_UK on 7/11/05

quilt does not com from God ,give it to the LOrd ,and leave it there, remember He loves you
---catha5499 on 7/11/05

Oh Elizabeth, Jordan can't undo what's happened. What good is there in saying, "you should have"...? Your choice of words were very hurtful. I only hope that someday when you need comfort, no one responds to you in such a way.
---DoryLory on 7/11/05

Like I was saying...You should have thought of adoption. There are so many people looking to adopt babies that there would have been someone who would have taken your child. You are going to have to live with what you did. Talk to God and pray that He gives you peace. He will in His way and in His time.
---Elizabeth on 7/11/05

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While I agree that God will forgive you if you ask Him, think about this.

Thou shall not commit murder. That's what you did. No amount of counselling or prayers are going to erase the fact that you did this horrible deed. Life begins at conception, no matter how the baby was conceived. We need to value and cherish all life. You should hav ethought of adoption.

This is going to be a double message so please read it all.
---Elizabeth on 7/11/05

My dear, you are not alone. We have all sinned and Jesus always forgives. Often the hardest part is forgiving yourself. I know, I've been there. If you have not already done so, sincerely pray for forgiveness and then let go of the past. When you find yourself dwelling on it, just say "Jesus forgave me so I forgive myself." Then close the door, go forward with your life and serve God to the best of your ability.
---Allie on 7/11/05

Jordan, God forgives all sin that we have repented of. Just read what King David did, an affair with a married woman who got pregnant, then he had her husband killed so he could have the woman, Bathsheba. David repented of all this and just look how mightily God used him in His Service. God knows just how you feel and He now wants you to put that behind you and get on with your life. You will never forget the child but please accept that God has forgiven you if you have sincerely asked Him to do so.
---Avril on 7/10/05

If everyone turned themselves in for committing abortion, (murder), the jail could not hold the large crowds. The one you need to talk with is the Lord. And guess what, He forgives you. Yes He does! And He will heal you
from the hurt. Self-condemnation is a hard thing, I know, I am watching my sister's health fade, and I know she has had abortions. Have you repented?Forgive yourself sis. God already Has. Hugs!
---anon on 7/9/05

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Jordan, if you are born again, you must ask the Holy Spirit to minister to your spirit for your forgiveness. If you are not,then you must ask Jesus Christ to come into you heart and forgive you of all your sins, including the abortion. Jesus Christ has promised that He will forgive us of all ours sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness, if we ask Him.1 John 1:9. Let Christ do what the police can't do. Set you free eternally.
---Precious on 7/9/05

No, the police would not arrest you anyway. Simply pray to God for forgiveness. If you are not a born-again Christian, then get saved and experience God's awesome grace and love for you.
---Eloy on 7/9/05

The women caught in adultery was brought to Jesus to be stoned, but Jesus after challenging the pharisees said to her: Has no one condem you, go and sin no more. Jesus forgives us and cleans us from all wrong and sin. 2Cor 5:17. You are a new creature in him.Old things has passed away.
---Lerina on 7/9/05

15 yrs ago had an abortion.
Came to God in shame and guilt and he forgave me completely. Since then I have given birth to a beautifull boy whom is my whole heart.
God forgives murderers sitting in jail. He forgives all if only we will ask in faith believing that he is a mercifull God to fogive us.
I have never looked back since God forgave me and I have always had eace in my heart and mind. My baby afterall is in heaven now in God's loving arms. Someday I will see him when I see my Lord.
---Shaz on 7/9/05

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No you should not turn yourself into the police.
Although what you did was wrong, it was very understandable, considering the great evil that had been done to you.
It is time now to be assured that God has frogiven you the wrong you did, and you should now look forward to a happy future in which you can be blessed, and in which you can be a blessing to others ... I hope to a loving husband and family.
---Alan8869_of_UK on 7/9/05

"PRAISE be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles" (2 Corinthians 1:3,4).

Look to Him, trust Him, He will bring you comfort.
---DoryLory on 7/9/05

Try to find other Christian women who have been through similar circumstances. Check with your pastor, he'll be able to refer you to someone. In the meantime do a Google search for: Christian Help for Abortion.

Be reassured that God absolutely wants you free from this guilt. Ask Him to help you find the right people who can help you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. God bless!
---DoryLory on 7/9/05

Guilt itself is not a bad thing; when we violate the will of God; our concience bears witness to our willful disobedience! The Holy Spirit convicts with the expressed purpose of revealing sin; compelling us to act upon it with confession (to agree with God that we sinned against Him) and to repent; seeking His forgiveness. The bigger questions is... are you actually "born again?" Please, consider your own relationship before the one in whom we all must deal one day. He loves you!
---William_Bateman on 7/9/05

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forgive yourself and don't deny the Lord what he has done for you. the enemy is trying to make you pay for what you did but you don't have to let him do that. you are not Jesus but a sinner who needs the Lord... we can never do what Jesus did and Jesus understands that.. you are free to live and be happy. Your baby is with Jesus and so should you be.Jesus loves you.
---dakota on 7/9/05

Jordan, there is nothing God will not forgive, if you ask Him. You can't go back and undo the sin, but He can wash it away. After He does, you have to let it go. Sometimes the hardest thing is to forgive ourselves, but continued guilt only poisons your heart and keeps you from being an effective witness for God. Don't let that happen.
---Billy on 7/9/05

The enemy Satan is using the abortion against you to destroy. but Jesus came so that we can have abundant life. we all mess up and sin. but you can't deny the sacrifice on the cross. you can't pay ever for the abortion. but Jesus did for you.
---dakota on 7/9/05

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