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I Was Engaged To A Christian Man

I was engaged to a man, also a Christian, he TRULY, DEEPLY LOVES me, more than I have ever been loved before in my entire life. I am having problems because I do not feel as strongly as he does. I genuinely CARE about him, but am confused, should I not be feeling about him as strongly as he does me?

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 ---Colleen on 7/14/05
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Not necessarily. You may have had an experiencee in the past which makes you not respond as quickly to someone else as you would like to but that should change the more you become acquainted with your friend. The fact that you already feel loved like never before should speed up and intensify your response very soon. Best wishes. Pierre
---Pierr7958 on 3/24/08

You love will not deepen. The best thing you can do is tell him you appreciate his love, but at this time you will not see him anymore. (Try again in a year.) It would be a mistake, on your part, to think you can force love. If in a years time, you are both still available, and you are convienced he is the right man for you - reconsider. (But for that year - no dating of each other.)
---WIVV on 10/1/05

Praise and thank the Lord that you have a man who loves you! Ask the Lord to increase your love for him. This is so wonderful to read something good being said about their significant other:)
---Ulrika on 8/14/05

2. have lost nothing. Love is when we feel something for someone and we want nothing in return. Do you think he loves you that way? Read 1 Cor. 13, the whole chapter and you will see what love really is. My daughter met some real nice Christians but she wanted someone stronger looking and great and got nothing but abuse from the guy. Being good looking is only good for taking photos. Many times nothing is inside but ego and pride.
---lupe2618 on 8/14/05

you said you were engaged, meaning not anymore. Sometimes God puts the right person in front of us and we make the wrong choice and pick someone else for other reasons. Just think of all the women here that have real lousy husbands and want out. this guys are terrible and no God in them. Now you have someone who is different and maybe because of that you feel like you want someone that is stronger looking physically then on the inside. Why not give it a chance and if there is nothing there then
---lupe2618 on 8/14/05

I agree with WIVV, love does have to be there before marriage - it won't just grow if you wish it to. God gave us those wonderful feelings and we should be aware of them, if you are merely "fond" of someone it wil not sustain a marriage for life because when the storms hit only love for each other and a relationship with God will pull you through.
---Maxine on 8/12/05

colleen I am with a man now from my own church who is on the prayer ministry teem like me, he is the most kindest loving man i have ever come across, and a great man of God, but sadly i do not feel the same way about him. I do not know if our feelings should come into concideration, when somebody comes along who is probably sent by God. wished i knew what to do.
---susanna on 8/10/05

Seek the face of God. God is not the author of confusion and if you are confused it's probably something going on with you, in which case, you don't need to get married at this anyway. Sometimes, we don't take enough time for ourselves to see if we are at the place of being ready for whatever situation it may be. I suggest you seek God and He will definitely show you the end from the beginning.
---Chosen on 8/9/05

You are using the past tense of "I was",
does this mean you have seperated? At least I hope that's what it means. Don't think for a moment you can "learn to love him" if you get married. It won't happen. True, loves grows the longer you are married, but you have to start out loving the person. Your best "bet" is to tell him the facts of how you feel. (Very tactfully.) Don't lead him on and allow him to think he has a chance for a more permanent relationship with you.
---WIVV on 8/9/05

I was in such a situation and i believe our past has to do with how we handle people who love us. Just pray to God to give you love and respond to the guy's love. I am a 27 year old never had a boyfriend its all on the past there is nothing wrong with your guy. Just pray to the God of love he will direct you how.
---lindiwe on 7/15/05

Colleen, could it be that you just don't feel a gut level attraction for him? Men and women aren't attracted to each other for the same reasons. And, just like women learn how to be attractive to a man, men need to learn how to attract a woman.

If you're interested in this guy, why don't you have him contact me. I'm not the one who can help him, but I know who is.
---jeffr5976 on 7/15/05

Be merciful and dont marry someone if you dont love him equally. Unrequited love stinks! If you were meant to be together in Gods eyes, you will love him no matter what has happened in your past. When God puts 2 ppl together there is NO doubts!
---Pat on 7/15/05

Without knowing all circumstances, I think if you're not accoustomed to being loved, then you won't learn it until someone gives it to you. Just as Jesus loves us first and we respond to His can do the same. If you can say that you love God from your heart, you will be able to open your heart to this man also. Always ask GOD for His direction. He will let you know one way or the other; or just wait.
---Susie3458 on 7/14/05

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