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Why Can't A Man Find A Wife

Why at the age of forty a man can't find a woman that has not already been divorced?

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 ---steve on 7/18/05
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What is wrong with a woman who has been married whether divorced or widowed? If divorced, maybe there is a real reason, and she is a really strong and courageous jewel of a woman. Maybe you should not be so close-minded.
---lynette on 6/5/07

Donna ... No, Steve is far too young to marry a 20 year old. He needs another 10 years at least.
---alan8869_of_UK on 10/7/06

Steve -- Yes, I think a twenty year-old might be just right for you. You can mature together.
---Donna2277 on 10/5/06

I have never been married, I believe I'm a treasure, I desire to be treasured as a wife, and to treasure my mate as well. The Lord can build a relationship for our needs. For me this means giving and recieving love, trust, respect, honesty, open communication, sincerity, a vision for the future, compassion, joy, understanding and more. God has everything, and I'd love to have a heaping helping of all he puts in the marriage mix:)
It's up to the couple to keep God in it to keep it going.
---lynet on 10/4/06

Have you thought about hitting the senior homes in your community?
---R.A. on 10/4/06

I believe I have some insight. God once told me that men like Steve are looking for younger women because they want to find a treasure. This is understandable because God Himself treasures His church (The Holy Bride), and wants us sanctified and pure without blemish or wrinkle. The treasure is on the inside though. Many men feel like this because Jesus Himself feels this deeply in His heart. He wants His treasure that He died for. I believe this is correct...
---Tyna on 10/3/06

I guess the women just aren't ready to be tied down and unlike the Bible, this may never have a happy ending. Just like my love life as I'm still single at 31 and may have to hit the panic button by 2015.
---Jason on 10/3/06

laure, forgive me, but when he moved on, was that at a time when he was much better off financially?
---steve on 9/9/05

when I married my spouse he didn't have any money. I married him because I loved him and still do 20 some years later. [he has moved on though] I have a friend who is in her 50's who is marrying a wonderful man her age. [she is no great beauty, but he would give his last breath for her.
---Laure5469 on 9/9/05

, kit, i can only guess that you are joking. obviously, women are valued for their youth, while men are valued for their earning power. it is unlikely that any woman over forty can find a good man, and all women over sixty can only find a senior citizen.
---steve on 9/6/05

Steve, if as a man in his forties looking like a man in his twenties it's O.K. for you to marry a woman in her twenties, is it O.K. for me then (a woman in her 60s told she looks like a woman in her 40s) to marry a man in his forties? Actually (before anyone asks) I'm blissfully happily married but thought I'd see what your response would be.
---Kit on 8/30/05

, i still look and feel like a man in his twenties, so i think i should marry a woman in her twenties.
---steve on 8/24/05

Let me just say one thing...If you are just looking for someone to mold and change then you aren't looking for an equal relationship you are looking for a slave. God will send you someone who is what you need not what you necessarily want. That's one thing about God He always knows best, so blessings and happy hunting, as for me I'll just keep praying and datin'.
---Auror3743 on 8/15/05

" i am being honest. after forty, men and women just don't adapt. so i want someone in her early twenties. steve on 8/5/05 " Does this then make it O.K. for those unadaptable 40+ unmarried women to marry 20 year old men, because the men can do the adapting? Or does this only work one way round Steve? Or perhaps you are saying that all unmarried40+ women should remain single because they are now too old to get married, is that it?
---F.F. on 8/14/05

I could ask the same question for women in their thirties, who have never been married, some are still virgins, and they are successful women. But I don't, because I know them, I'm one of them, and I'm waiting for the man that God has for me. Everytime I imposed my will, my agenda, it ended badly. I'll get married and have children to a man of God, when God determines it's the right time.
---seeking on 8/13/05

We are in the last days, and because sin will abound, the heart of many will grow cold. Satan is telling married couples to divorce, and they're listening to him rather than to God.
---Eloy on 8/13/05

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Drew, your aunt have found bliss in marriage because she had married three times already! Marriage should be a happy union for her! I wish to congratulate your aunt!
---linda6546 on 8/13/05

My uncle married my aunt when he was 36 and she was 18. They had four kids. He died at 67, she was 50. She remarried, to a man exactly the same age as my uncle. He died five years later. She married again to a man her own age, and now my aunt is very happy at age 68.
---drew2902 on 8/12/05

Well, some women marry young and as a result the relationship ends in divorce. Have you prayed over the situation from deep in your heart. God will hear you and reply if you ask him to come in.
---Sylvia on 8/11/05

Steve, no one is holding you back if you decide to marry women at 20. Twenty five would be best, even, if she should decide to have children later. If you don't want to have children, marry women at 32 upwards, thus the risk of not having children would be higher, thus the possibility of you and your wife to have no child will be a bit greater. God bless to your plans!
---linda6546 on 8/11/05

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, i would prefer to be alone all my life rather than marry someone who is way too old.
---steve on 8/9/05

No Steve I really don't think that that is what all men want. I have a feeling that you a heading for a very lonely old age.
---Paul on 8/9/05

(Cont#2)Steve: In the case that your wife to be will change her mind about children, then, you will realize you will be too old to think about raising children. Child rearing is never easy! Think about that! A baby coming into the family changes everything! God bless you!
---linda6545 on 8/9/05

Steve, you might have problems later. At 20, a female is still young. She might say that she doesn't like children. For now, maybe yes! Because she might still want to enjoy being young, being free! Later, when her biological clock demands that she should be a mother, that would be the time when the two of you will have to sit down and think for the future. You are older, right? You won't always be there to be with her, right? You might be the first one to say goodbye? Would you leave her alone?
---linda6545 on 8/9/05

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, i'm looking for a woman in her twenties who doesn't want kids. isn't that what all men want?
---steve on 8/8/05

Maybe the question should not be why can't you, but what are you looking for. Kinda sounds like you want to be a girl's sugar daddy. However, just keep looking, and you will find some girl that will have you.
---geraa7578 on 8/6/05

Steve, no I don't think you did say you wanted children, nor did you say that you didn't. If you are seriously hoping to find a twentysomething woman it would be wise to find out first how she feels on this subject because most women DO hope to have children. If you don't think you could do any adapting I think that both marriage and parenthood should be off your agenda anyway as both need much adjustment, believe me.
---Paul on 8/6/05

Okay, Steve, now you have stated what you NEED! Go for it! I hope you have already asked God to bless you and your search for a young wife! Must I say Good Luck? No, I will instead say, GOD BLESS YOU and your wife to be!
---linda6546 on 8/6/05

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My Ex didn't want to have [more] kids. but now has two more because his girlfriend did. there is a 19 year differance between my daughter and thiers. 20 year olds can be stubron too. and YOU would have to change more to be with a 20. then a 40. most 20s I ask think that 30 is old. 40 is their dads age, [EWEIE.. was the reply I got when I asked what they thought of 20/40 dating]
---Laure5469 on 8/6/05

Steve at 20 your wife will want kids.
---Laure5469 on 8/5/05

Single, divorced, widowed, never married, who cares?

Age differences? Depends on a lot of factors, mainly the two individuals.

Some people at 30 or so, are older than some 60 year old's today not abusing their bodies.

A smiling middleaged man once told me in front of his beaming "older than him"/young wife, "I use 2 viagra's"! Whatever!

Anti-oxidents can "increase {one's faith} & youth" in these matters, helping to reduce/slowdown aging!
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 8/5/05

, i am being honest. after forty, men and women just don't adapt. so i want someone in her early twenties.
---steve on 8/5/05

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, i never said i wanted any kids.
---steve on 8/5/05

Steve a lot of adapting is necessary in any marriage whether both are in their 20s, 40s, 60s, or the 2 are of very different generations. Part of marriage is getting to know things about your new partner than you never get to know in the courtship stage. If you don't think you could adapt your life to fit with that of a 40 year old you probably won't be able to with a 20 year old either. Sounds like you are wanting a woman who is prepared to do ALL the adapting whilst you do NONE. It won't work.
---Paul on 8/4/05

HA Madison!
Yep Alan's youngest daughter is marrying on Saturday.
I am friends with a man who had never been married before, he was 39, she much younger. He was 40 when his only son was born. She gave up custody and has had 4 husbands since him! He has been alone raising this child who is now 16, he 56 and it has surely taken its toll! The kid is a terror and at pushing 60 he has about given up, sad.
---NVBarbara on 8/4/05

This younger women with older men idea might have some flaws. Picture this: 40 year old man marries 20 year old woman. She has a kid at 21 or 22. Dad is 42. He will be the oldest dad at Little League, and forget the high school graduation. He'll be near retirement.

Of course, when he passes on to his reward, his wife will still be young enough to find a guy her own age.
---Madison on 8/4/05

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NVBarbara: I didn't realize Alan's daughter was getting married. She must be marrying a man 20 years older than her, because, as Steve said, older men belong with younger women.
---Madison on 8/4/05

'Men belong with younger women?'The gospel according to Steve? The real fact is that it is desirable for a woman to marry a man a few years younger than she is.Life expectancy for a woman is older than for a man.Idealy they would have more time together.If all you are seeking is a young woman with good looks, its no wonder you're still single!

I hope Alan won't mind,but I presume he's busy getting ready for his daughter's wedding and not online.Alan is a widower, he lost his wife 3 or 4 years ago.
---NVBarbara on 8/4/05

, the fact remains that men belong with younger women. it is only natural and it works. by the way alan, i thought you were already married.
---steve on 8/3/05

I love most of the 20 year old kids in my life I was just making a point don't all the 20 year olds come down on me PLEASE!!!!
---Laure5469 on 8/2/05

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Beleive me if you can't adapt to some one from your oun decade 2 decades difference is a hoot! I live with 20 year olds! I know!You get in a car in the morning and turn on the car and are blast in to the back the radio is up. you give them some money to use wisely and they come home with new 3" high heels. I will take a person my own age over a 20. they can be sassy and rude and don't understand you have to be nice to cranky customers [I work with them]not rude back
---Laure5469 on 8/2/05

Alan: I guess since you are in your sixties, you should look for one of us in our forties since the men in their forties think we are too old for them.
---Madison on 8/2/05

Prov. 31:30 says that beauty is vain, if God gave you the beauty were did the vanity come from? Ezk 28:17 tells us Lucifer lifed himself up beacuse of his beauty. This is where the vnity came from. It is a spirit in you that tells you through thoughts in your mind how beautiful you are and you listen to that voice of the devil. Very few people today are interested in serving the Lord in Spirit and in truth.
---ray on 8/2/05

Prov. 30:31 says that beauty is vain, if God gave you the beauty were did the vanity come from? Ezk 28:17 tells us Lucifer lifed himself up beacuse of his beauty. This is where the vnity came from. It is a spirit in you that tells you through thoughts in your mind how beautiful you are and you listen to that voice of the devil. Very few people today are interested in serving the Lord in Spirit and in truth.
---ray on 8/2/05

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How many men at age forty havent been divorced?" The real problem the later days because SIN is ABOUNDING the love of many has grown cold. To much LUSTING FOR A MATE rather than looking into the heart for the real person. Women are just as bad as men, they are lusting for a "Ken" and that is all most of them are interested in, a hansome man. THey as well as men are seeking sex rather than a loving relationship.
---Ray on 8/2/05

Steve ... I still find yuor comment odd, and chauvinistic. You seem to suggest now that the man, being over 40 will not have to adapt, whereas the woman, being only in her 20's will be able to.
What do you suggest for me ... I am in my mid-sixties ... what age wife should I look for?
---Alan8869_of_UK on 8/2/05

, alan and laure, you both seem to have misunderstood me. i meant that if a man is over forty, he should marry a woman in her twenties, because two people in their forties can't adapt to each other well.
---steve on 8/2/05

One has to rmember that for some divorce was not a thier choice. Sometimes as divorced women I feel I continually pay for my ex abandoning my son and I. I did not believe in divorce but, was not given choice. It is hard once divorced and having child to find mate as well. plus have to put up with critisism for being divorced and treated as if I did something wrong. Just because divorced does not make us bad or evil. We want someone to love for a lifetime as well.
---Shaz on 8/2/05

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I hope that you know you reap what you sow.#1 my mom married some one 7 years younger. she use to run circles around dad. but now he doesn't go to many places as he cares for her.#2 my husband and I were the same age when we married, I still looked good, at 35 he left me for a "different" model. she drove him to bankruptcy [20 year olds tend to not be wise with money] #3 younger partners want kids. My Ex also has 2 more then ours, He misses sleeping.
---Laure5469 on 8/2/05

I agree with steve a 40 year old has a hard time adapting to a 20 year old.
---Laure5469 on 8/2/05

Apology accepted Madison and thank you. God bless.
---F.F. on 8/2/05

For once Steve you have said something sensible.
---Alan8869_of_UK on 8/1/05

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F.F. Please forgive me. I should have read your post more carefully to fully understand what you were saying. I am sorry for my rude response. Peace.
---Madison on 8/1/05

, i know that most people in their forties don't realize that they are not twenty anymore. however, one of the basic facts of life is that those over thirty tend to have less ability to adapt to another person.
---steve on 8/1/05

Madison why did you feel that you had to jump down my throat by saying " Are you suggesting that a divorced woman stay single when her husband has remarried? That is a very narrow idea and totally ignorant of God's grace." Hadn't I just said that I WAS NOT disagreeing with you, I was just ASKING a question. I'm not too happy at your suggestion that I am narrow and totally ignorant of God's grace. You havn't even answered what I asked, although I'm glad to say that others have.
---F.F. on 8/1/05

wouldn't worry about it too much, man.but you know I'm only twenty and I can't find a single girl that isn't already bitter from some other guy. we may all be in the same bucket here.
---matthew on 7/31/05

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D.R. Steve is not lamenting on our society's views only. He is sharing HIS view as well. The Bible says that we are to be in the world not of the world. He holds the world's view on women.
---Madison on 7/31/05

Matthew 19:9 shows that the act of remarriage (except when one's marital partner is unfaithful) is adultery. Adultery frees one from marital ties. Therefore, a divorced woman whose husband is remarried (and thus committed adultery against her) is free.
---D.R. on 7/31/05


Matthew 19:9 -- "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." (That is, "put away" except for fornication which is implied in part A of the verse.)
---D.R. on 7/31/05

Christians! Read what a man says, not what you think he might have. Steve was merely LAMENTING over how our society views women. He was not persecuting them!
---D.R. on 7/31/05

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Steve- When a Christian is seeking a mate, we need to be open to God's leading. There are times when He takes our carefully made list (i.e. age of person, physical characteristics) and throws them out. It is important to be open to the spiritual characteristics of potential mate. Our time lines and God's are different. A woman in her 30s or even 40s can still have children (look what God did with Sarah & Abraham).
---in_his_grace on 7/31/05

F.F. The Bible is silent on remarriage in this case. Are you suggesting that a divorced woman stay single when her husband has remarried? That is a very narrow idea and totally ignorant of God's grace.
---Madison on 7/30/05

Steve ... speak for yourself, but not for others
---Alan8869_of_UK on 7/30/05

Perhaps these are YOUR values Dale/Steve, but not everyone's, few in fact!
Women 'best' in their 20's? Says who? Its no wonder you can't find a wife if you want a beautiful 20 year old! Why would she want someone twice her age, with no history in common? Get real dude!

Women reach their peak in ALL aspects in their 40's, and often older!

It is a documented fact that men and women don't reach full maturity, in most areas, and spiritually until after 30.
---NVBarbara on 7/30/05

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Steve you are in a sorry state of ignorancy, totaly hard of heart, can i sudgest that you write to me on the penpal page to sioux6967 and i can introduce you to a website, where you can read the heart of the women you are persecuting.
---susanna on 7/30/05

, men are valued for their wealth, women are valued for their looks, thus men in their forties are attracted to women in their twenties. how i wish this did not have to be so.
---steve on 7/30/05

Madison, I'm not disagreeing with you but I just don't know where the bible says it's O.K. for a divorced woman to remarry once her ex-husband has remarried. I know it says that she cannot re-marry her ex if he has had another wife after her. Can you tell me where the other scripture is to which you refer please?
---F.F. on 7/30/05

Stevie based on your attitude you've displayed here, I think the only woman you are capable of attracting is one who will one day break your heart.
---lisa on 7/30/05

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Woman at their best in their 20's? Not the women I know.
---sue on 7/29/05

Steve women, are in their peak in their late 30s, although according to worldly standards their 20s is when they are most visually desirable to men. This can be intimidating to some men so its not a popular thought. men are at their sexual peak in their early 20s. when men grow up or are wealthy and successful to get a supermodel for a wife, then i agree, in their 40s they have finally come down to earth but I dont know about their sexual prowess.
---lisa on 7/29/05

As a 39-year-old, I can tell you that I would never want to go back to being 20. I am closer to the Lord, smarter and more confident than I was back then. Don't sell us almost 40s and over 40s short!
---annie on 7/29/05

Steve: Deuteronomy 24 says that to marry an ex spouse after they have remarried is detestable to the Lord. I cannot remarry my ex now that he has married. Am I to remain single for the rest of my life?
---Madison on 7/29/05

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, women are at their best in their twenties. men are at their best in their forties and fifties. i know this clashes with modern liberalism, but it is just the way it is.
---steve on 7/29/05

, madison, read Romans 7:2 and Matthew 5:32. they both condemn marrying someone else's wife.
---steve on 7/29/05

Steve: If the divorced woman's ex-husband has remarried, she is free to marry. Scriptures say that she cannot remarry her ex, as that would be an abomination. Why are you insisting that she cannot marry when scriptures say she is free to do so?
---Madison on 7/27/05

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