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Male Soulmate Is 11 Years Younger

I found my soul mate, the perfect man of God, who has shown me alot of love and respect. Problem is he is 11 years younger then myself. I believe God has told me that he is my husband, we look the same age. He is worried and says I am too old and he leads me on by flirting and getting very close to me.

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 ---susanna on 7/26/05
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Oh well I certainly know now that Im not the only one that believes god has brought me a soulmate that is clearly not close to my age.He is 14 years older than me but Im dating a 19 year old and I thought he was the next generation of this 31 year old I desire and think about.
---Kara on 10/31/12

Older women who are overly concerned with their outward appearance, trying to keep up with the younger chicks. Forget about it.
The younger immature man will one day find you looking like an old blog.
---Mark on 1/18/08

Older women that are dumped by younger men take it very hard, especially if they are ego driven. It takes it's toll on their self-esteem and they're crushed. No good.
So that giddy, bubbly flirting - it keeps you young and all that other fantasy world thinking is short-lived.
---Mark on 1/18/08

That dude hurt one of my relatives. Everyone knew that he was running all over town, dating bank tellers, store clerks, asking ever young girl out for public dates and keeping his older mama dates hidden.
So beware of younger men bearing gifts, they could be your nightmare on elm street. Don't be flattered by false flattery, looks are fleeting and too much age on an older woman makes a young woman look good. Sorry.
---Mark on 1/18/08

What I have learned through B.S.(spears) is that it's quite manipulative behavior. The entire world is caught up in B.S.(spears), everyone is making a profit.
But I am concerned for her life and I am concerned for the darleng of the blogs.
No two snowflakes are alike.
But the number of blogs admitting love for a single, younger man are too numerous too count. They outnumber the Jesus blogs and that's a sad commentary.
---Mark on 1/18/08

I know of a woman who dated a younger man, 11 or 12 years, same situation. She happened to be only one of his victims.
He was a mama's boy at heart, looking for his mama. He was 30 and always found the woman around 42. It never lasted.
He never took these woman "out" in public because it was too embarrassing around all of his friends.
---Mark on 1/18/08

His family was wealthy and there was no way that these older women would ever fit into the family. So he used these women and threw them in the trash heap. They were so desperate and he was good looking. To him, it was like he was helping out the poor and needy, charity.
After he kept them locked up in his ivory tower, never taking them anywhere, he would grow bored. Then he would begin cheating on these older women with younger girls.
---Mark on 1/18/08

He's 40 now and still playing the game.
But the 50 year olds don't look so good to the player.
His emotions are finally starting to catch up with his age, about "22" now, so he's hitting his stride looking for 30 somethings.
All the 40 year olds are married or going through a divorce.
---Mark on 1/18/08

Oh John, she's made it abundantly crystal clear for months going on years, now.
The majority of questions deal with her love life and loveless marriage. She is too old for the young guy but emotionally, he's probably older than she is. Arrested development, she's around 15 or 16.
---Mark on 1/18/08

Actually, I do feel sorry for her. When I see B.S.(spears) on the news, day in and day out, I am reminded of what's going on here.
Many similarities, especially when the experts come on and explain what's really going on behind that kind of behavior.
Do I have empathy for B.S.(spears), yes, I do.
Do I want to hear about it day in and day out, N-O, I don't.
---Mark on 1/18/08

I think the age-difference is mostly irrelevant. It is true that in Biblical times, the man was usually financially secure and prepared for a family before he took a wife. She would generally be much younger for child-bearing reasons. Most Christians would have a coronary if they knew how old Joseph and Mary were when they got married!

To the OP, I would take things slow, pray for guidance, don't assume ANYTHING, and communicate with him to see if your paths are headed in the same direction.
---righteouswarriors on 1/18/08

Mark. Did she say that she was married already? If she is, I certainly agree with you otherwise why would you say that God wouldn't tell her that this younger man is her soul mate? My mom is many years older than my dad. They are married for 50 years now. There are many challenges now that they are old. But that doesn't deter them because they love eachother.I agree, it doesn't sound like this young guy is in love with this older woman.
---john on 1/18/08

You are too old.
Married women courting younger single men.
Sin. Lust. Adultery.

God wouldn't tell a married woman that a younger single man is to be her husband.
Get over it.
---Mark on 1/18/08

The perfect man of God happens to be your husband's business associate. It's going on three years now and enough is really enough.
---Mark on 1/18/08

My friend, age is just a number. You say that your love for the man is inspired/directed of God. That and your faith in God is all you need. He's respectful and loving and godly. Go for it girl.You already have God's approval.
---debra6585 on 7/29/07

I found mine and married her 5 weeks ago. We are 16 years different. I am 43. I do the same and there is nothing wrong with flirting as long as it's with you!! Men will have a problem if the woman is older, but not the other way around (I think that at first I was the exception!). Don't let it bother you and flirt right back at him! It will keep you both young.
---Steven_Wilkey on 3/8/07

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Steve that depends whether the guy knows how to truly love a woman for her and not just her looks. It is humanly possible you know, and it happens all the time. Try asking someone outside of your own family who have stayed married into old age. By the sounds of it, you haven't had too many healthy role models to know what true love, relationship and marriage is all about. You're purely into the physical and I pity where you're gonna end up. Most likely alone or broken hearted and taken to the cleaners.
---lisa on 8/3/05

, if a guy marries a woman that much older than he is, obviously, he will regret it when she starts aging.
---steve on 8/3/05

Suzanna,he's not your soulmate if he feels that way. My best friend was in EXACT situation. She wasted 4 years of her life hanging on to his empty promises. He would get so close then back away with the "you're too old" excuse. He has deep seated issues with women intimacy etc and it nearly destroyed her. Thankfully it brought her closer to the Lord and she is now strong while he is still out there, searching for the "perfect" woman who doesnt exist. Let him go and move on, girlfriend.
---lisa on 7/28/05

Steve I don't think that what you said was wrong but several of us read your earlier comments about a woman aged 40 being too old. My personal view is that age differences, either way around, are not that important as we get older because both have matured but with a young couple the girl will be more mature than the boy so a few years gap is helpful (him being the older). In your own situation I think maybe you are looking for someone of child bearing age. Am I correct?
---Xanthi on 7/28/05

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Dear Susanna, You had better wait until you are both on the same page. I'm hearing too much lack of communication and misunderstanding of intentions. Marrying for the sake of marrying or playing guessing "games" doesn't make for a good start in marriage. Seek the Lord's will, not your own.....Put yourself in His hands; he will not lead you astray! Hopefully you are a born-again Christian and are listening to God's voice instead of your own. Blessings!
---Elsie on 7/28/05

, what did i say that was wrong? i think i was stating a logical fact.
---steve on 7/27/05

I am with Paulette 100% The last lines of your blog leave me concerned for your happiness. That behaviour does seems to indicate that he has some growing up to do and you had better not be blind to that fact.
I am also concerned about God telling you...he is the one! I do not believe this to be the case here. Too great an age difference and to many signs of lack of maturity. God helps us in our search but He rarely if ever TAGS one for us!
---Pierr7958 on 7/27/05

Steve aged 40 and looking for someone younger states "you should tell him goodbye. this is unhealthy for him to be so much younger than you. the man should be the older one in a relationship." Well Steve would say that wouldn't he? However, I am a little worried if the man tells you he thinks you are too old yet still 'leads you on' 'flirts with you' and 'gets very close to you'. Are you sure that he is as serious as you are? I hope he's not using you until someone his own age comes along.
---Paulette on 7/27/05

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Don't let satan destroy what God is doing. People may be jealous but dont worry about it. If you love him and he loves you and God is for it, go for it, Mine is 13 years younger but I have been mistaken several times for my youngest sons wife! Age is a number, the heart is what counts! Just enjoy each other! Quit worrying! Let God keep you young! Smart men prefer an older woman that knows how to treat a man and adore and cherish him!
---Pat on 7/26/05

Guard your heart. Wait on the Lord to make it apparent to both of you what your relationship should be. Do not allow him to treat you as his girlfriend or bride-to-be if he has no intentions of going there. You will only get hurt.
Having said that, if God is telling you he's the one then God will tell him that too, and it will take place naturally and in God's perfect timing. Be patient and guard your heart.
---Katie on 7/26/05

If he is truly "the perfect man of God," he wouldn't be flirting with you, or "getting very close" to you, unless he had marriage in mind. From this information, he appears to be somewhat immature in the faith. If God truly has ordained your marriage, He will make it clear to both of you. And, if your friend is God's chosen, he will respond affirmatively. Let go and let God!
---Thomas on 7/26/05

He may just be leading you on for one thing. You said, he is leading you on. He is worried that you are to old for him...maybe this is telling you something you should hear. Or a sign that it could be a problem in the furture. My sister dated someone 13 years younger for around a yr. He got what he was after and then left her for someone his own age. Something to think about.
---Linda3939 on 7/26/05

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If he thinks you too old why is he leading you on and flirting? He is sending mixed signals. Age is just a number if both parties are in love and agree to committ to one another for life.
If there is any uncertainty on eithers part then you should wait and pray about it more.
You must BOTH feel it is right to really be right.
---Marla on 7/26/05

, you should tell him goodbye. this is unhealthy for him to be so much younger than you. the man should be the older one in a relationship.
---steve on 7/26/05

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